Any other couples who choose NOT to practice NFP/Fertility Awareness Methods? (Everyone welcome!)

[Mirror_Mirror]

I feel like this thread is ostrasizing those who use NFP…seems like you’re forming a club of people who don’t use it. Why can’t we all just recognize that using it and not using it is open to God’s design and plan for sexuality? It’s like having a club for people who own Mustangs and then separating the 6 cylinder owners from the 8 cylinder owners.

Just my :twocents:

I don’t think that this is a bash NFP users thread. I certainly as a husband that follows NFP do not feel that way. I just think that those that do not follow NFP by using nothing at all are in a position that they can take children at any point in time. While using NFP we are open to life at any time, we are choosing (for valid reasons) to avoid. (we being those that use NFP)

I think that both are following God’s plan for us in our sexuality. We are all one big happy family and can rejoice that we all own Mustangs

Well it would have to be a Camaro instead of Mustang, sorry!

 

[kquinn]

Just wanted to say that I responded Yes, because using NFP/Fertility Awareness doesn’t (to me) mean that you are using it to prevent children…I like knowing where my body is in cycles and I have used it like this before (lets me prepare for the mood swings …so I hope I didn’t mess up the poll…I may have misunderstood. God bless!

 

[Convert_in_99]

I don’t think that this is a bash NFP users thread. I certainly as a husband that follows NFP do not feel that way. I just think that those that do not follow NFP by using nothing at all are in a position that they can take children at any point in time. While using NFP we are open to life at any time, we are choosing (for valid reasons) to avoid. (we being those that use NFP)

I think that both are following God’s plan for us in our sexuality. We are all one big happy family and can rejoice that we all own Mustangs

Well it would have to be a Camaro instead of Mustang, sorry!

Yeah…I was just thinking the same…where’s MY Mustang?

 

[shawn34_a]

This is not a thread to debate Natural Family Planning, as I accept it whole-heartedly as a teaching of the Church. However, my husband and I do not believe it is what God is calling us to. I am hoping to meet other couples who feel the same.

I definitely feel the same way. When used to prevent pregnancy, it’s no different than using artificial barriers. It’s actually more effective than most artificial barriers.

IUD - 99%, Sterilization >99%, Hormonal methods 95-99%, Barrier methods 68-98%, Spermicidal methods 74-91%,

Those using the STM (Sympto-Thermal Method) of NFP prevent pregnancy 99-100% of the time based on numerous studies.

Jesus said that whoever even looks upon a woman with lust has already committed adultery in his heart.

Point being, using NFP for birth control is forsaking God’s role, thus sinning against God in our heart, in the creation of life.

 

[Em_in_FL]

I definitely feel the same way. When used to prevent pregnancy, it’s no different than using artificial barriers. It’s actually more effective than most artificial barriers.

IUD - 99%, Sterilization >99%, Hormonal methods 95-99%, Barrier methods 68-98%, Spermicidal methods 74-91%,

Those using the STM (Sympto-Thermal Method) of NFP prevent pregnancy 99-100% of the time based on numerous studies.

Jesus said that whoever even looks upon a woman with lust has already committed adultery in his heart.

Point being, using NFP for birth control is forsaking God’s role, thus sinning against God in our heart, in the creation of life.

This is not the teaching of the Catholic church… nor was it the point of this thread.

From the Catechism…

2370
Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods,** is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality**.158 These methods respect the bodies of the spouses, encourage tenderness between them, and favor the education of an authentic freedom. In contrast, “every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible” is intrinsically evil:159

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I definitely feel the same way. When used to prevent pregnancy, it’s no different than using artificial barriers. It’s actually more effective than most artificial barriers.

IUD - 99%, Sterilization >99%, Hormonal methods 95-99%, Barrier methods 68-98%, Spermicidal methods 74-91%,

Those using the STM (Sympto-Thermal Method) of NFP prevent pregnancy 99-100% of the time based on numerous studies.

Jesus said that whoever even looks upon a woman with lust has already committed adultery in his heart.

Point being, using NFP for birth control is forsaking God’s role, thus sinning against God in our heart, in the creation of life.

Wrong! Please show me the backup for this. Because all I have seen is this:

The fecundity of marriage

2366 Fecundity is a gift, an end of marriage, for conjugal love naturally tends to be fruitful. A child does not come from outside as something added on to the mutual love of the spouses, but springs from the very heart of that mutual giving, as its fruit and fulfillment. So the Church, which is "on the side of life,"151 teaches that "it is necessary that each and every marriage act remain ordered per se to the procreation of human life."152 "This particular doctrine, expounded on numerous occasions by the Magisterium, is based on the inseparable connection, established by God, which man on his own initiative may not break, between the unitive significance and the procreative significance which are both inherent to the marriage act."153

2367 Called to give life, spouses share in the creative power and fatherhood of God.154 "Married couples should regard it as their proper mission to transmit human life and to educate their children; they should realize that they are thereby cooperating with the love of God the Creator and are, in a certain sense, its interpreters. They will fulfill this duty with a sense of human and Christian responsibility."155

2368 A particular aspect of this responsibility concerns the regulation of procreation. For just reasons, spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood. Moreover, they should conform their behavior to the objective criteria of morality:

When it is a question of harmonizing married love with the responsible transmission of life, the morality of the behavior does not depend on sincere intention and evaluation of motives alone; but it must be determined by objective criteria, criteria drawn from the nature of the person and his acts criteria that respect the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love; this is possible only if the virtue of married chastity is practiced with sincerity of heart.156

2369 "By safeguarding both these essential aspects, the unitive and the procreative, the conjugal act preserves in its fullness the sense of true mutual love and its orientation toward man’s exalted vocation to parenthood."157

2370 Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality.158 These methods respect the bodies of the spouses, encourage tenderness between them, and favor the education of an authentic freedom. In contrast, “every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible” is intrinsically evil:159

Thus the innate language that expresses the total reciprocal self-giving of husband and wife is overlaid, through contraception, by an objectively contradictory language, namely, that of not giving oneself totally to the other. This leads not only to a positive refusal to be open to life but also to a falsification of the inner truth of conjugal love, which is called upon to give itself in personal totality. . . . The difference, both anthropological and moral, between contraception and recourse to the rhythm of the cycle . . . involves in the final analysis two irreconcilable concepts of the human person and of human sexuality.160

Emphasis mine.

 

[kamz]

Just wanted to say that I responded Yes, because using NFP/Fertility Awareness doesn’t (to me) mean that you are using it to prevent children…I like knowing where my body is in cycles and I have used it like this before (lets me prepare for the mood swings …so I hope I didn’t mess up the poll…I may have misunderstood. God bless!

I have used it also just to know when to expect “that time of the month” and have sanitary products with me"

 

[Convert_in_99]

Birth control and contraception are wrong.
NFP is not wrong.
Using no methods at all is not wrong.
NFP is not birth control nor contraception.
NFP does not harm embryos, nor the woman’s health as does birth control.

However, you must have a serious reason to use NFP.

You can choose to use or refuse church approved medical care. Using NFP is choosing to use church approved medical care. Not using NFP is like refusing morally acceptable medical care.

 

[LJN21]

I haven’t voted because we are actually in the twilight zone regarding NFP right now.

We learned NFP when we got married but decided we were going to leave our fertility in Gods hands. We were Married just over 2 years when we conceived our first child. The month she turned 3y our son was born. Five months later we found out we were pregnant with our 3rd. She will be 1y in July and I’m 13m pregnant with our 4th. We are seriously considering using NFP to space our children out.

This is my delima I feel in a way were backing out on the original plan of “leave it in Gods hands” and feel bad about that. On the other hand I’m not sure if I’m physically/mentally capable of having kids so fast. On the same token God always gives you the grace to deal with what he gives you. We have the blessings of our Priest to use NFP up to 3 years for spacing. I know this is something that’s perfectly acceptable to do its just reconciling it with out intent when we got Married I’m having trouble with.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I haven’t voted because we are actually in the twilight zone regarding NFP right now.

We learned NFP when we got married but decided we were going to leave our fertility in Gods hands. We were Married just over 2 years when we conceived our first child. The month she turned 3y our son was born. Five months later we found out we were pregnant with our 3rd. She will be 1y in July and I’m 13m pregnant with our 4th. We are seriously considering using NFP to space our children out.

This is my delima I feel in a way were backing out on the original plan of “leave it in Gods hands” and feel bad about that. On the other hand I’m not sure if I’m physically/mentally capable of having kids so fast. On the same token God always gives you the grace to deal with what he gives you. We have the blessings of our Priest to use NFP up to 3 years for spacing. I know this is something that’s perfectly acceptable to do its just reconciling it with out intent when we got Married I’m having trouble with.

Congratulations, my DW is pregnant with our 4th right now 22m. I want to just offer some encouragement by saying that following NFP is not “turning your back on ‘leaving it in God’s hands’” since He could still bless you with a child when you think that you are in a time of infertility.

Take heart, if you choose to learn NFP and follow it, it is amazing. It can be a struggle to have to abstain, but absence makes the heart grow fonder.

 

[Teakafrog]

I disagree that ecological breastfeeding is not family planning…
You have to be very deliberate about ecological breastfeeding… there are a lot of “rules” that you have to follow to delay your fertility.

“Nursing” doesn’t guarantee infertility…
"Ecological breatfeeding" is a deliberate act done to delay your fertility… you can’t accidentally do this…

I do not agree. I just did what came naturally (accidentally, if you will) then I read about ecoBF, and I was already doing it! And believe me, it had nothing to do with family planning, it was just feeding my child how she needed to be fed (on demand, cosleeping, etc.). Just saying, it is NOT always a form of family planning by intention.

 

[Convert_in_99]

I haven’t voted because we are actually in the twilight zone regarding NFP right now.

We learned NFP when we got married but decided we were going to leave our fertility in Gods hands. We were Married just over 2 years when we conceived our first child. The month she turned 3y our son was born. Five months later we found out we were pregnant with our 3rd. She will be 1y in July and I’m 13m pregnant with our 4th. We are seriously considering using NFP to space our children out.

This is my delima I feel in a way were backing out on the original plan of “leave it in Gods hands” and feel bad about that. On the other hand I’m not sure if I’m physically/mentally capable of having kids so fast. On the same token God always gives you the grace to deal with what he gives you. We have the blessings of our Priest to use NFP up to 3 years for spacing. I know this is something that’s perfectly acceptable to do its just reconciling it with out intent when we got Married I’m having trouble with.

What a beautiful story! You have given me much hope. My husband and I have been trying for all 15months of our marriage with no luck. We would take ten right now if God miraculosly made us fertile. We are so down on not conceiving. Maybe we’ll get on a fertility streak just like you!

I wish you the best and know that you will make the decision that is right for you. There is a right answer…but you will have to figure out what that is for you right now.

 

[Teakafrog]

Now to the poll. I don’t know how to vote, none of those really apply to us. We learned NFP specifically to try to get pregnant. Now that we finally did, I am breastfeeding, and using LAM/ecoBF, but not doing anything else to delay or even charting at the moment. I have infertility issues anyway (PCOS), but we would still prefer not to get pg until she is at least a year old so she can continue to nurse. So I don’t know! We’re not really using anything now, but I have, and probably will in the future use Creighton to keep track of cycles.

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

I disagree that ecological breastfeeding is not family planning…
You have to be very deliberate about ecological breastfeeding… there are a lot of “rules” that you have to follow to delay your fertility.

“Nursing” doesn’t guarantee infertility…
“Ecological breatfeeding” is a deliberate act done to delay your fertility… you can’t accidentally do this…

**I will respectfully disagree with you on all counts mentioned above. **

 

[lizzielou]

, but we would still prefer not to get pg until she is at least a year old so she can continue to nurse.

Maybe there is something unusual about your case, but just in case you didn’t know, you can keep nursing even if you get pregnant. Many many women nurse throughout pregnancy and then continue to nurse the older child and the newborn together.

As for us, we learned NFP and have used it - first to avoid for about 6 months, then to acheive (took a year). After baby #1, I charted but more out of habit than anything. Baby #2 is now 10 months old, and we really think it would be best to delay, and I am charting, but we are not paying one bit of attention to it! Based on the past few months, you’d think we were really really trying to acheive pregnancy. Hmmmm…I guess we are really just leaving it up to God at this point.

 

[Jennifer_J]

Birth control and contraception are wrong.
NFP is not wrong.
Using no methods at all is not wrong.
NFP is not birth control nor contraception.
NFP does not harm embryos, nor the woman’s health as does birth control.

However, you must have a serious reason to use NFP.

You can choose to use or refuse church approved medical care. Using NFP is choosing to use church approved medical care. Not using NFP is like refusing morally acceptable medical care.

Just a clarification. Birth control is not wrong, it’s just referring to the spacing of births–however CONTRACEPTION is wrong. Some people do use the words interchangably, but really shouldn’t.

I didn’t vote, we chart (when I’m not pregnant) so that I know where I am in my cycle. We (and God) decide monthly whether it’s time to add to our family. I also use ecological breastfeeding to help delay the return of fertility.

Jennifer

 

[Teakafrog]

Maybe there is something unusual about your case, but just in case you didn’t know, you can keep nursing even if you get pregnant. Many many women nurse throughout pregnancy and then continue to nurse the older child and the newborn together.

Hopefully it would work that way, but I am not one of the lucky ones blessed with an abundant milk supply. I have ‘just enough’. I can’t pump anything, don’t leak, etc. I’d rather not chance it that pregnancy would cause me to dry up before she’s ready to lose it. I know some women who have lost their milk supply with a subsequent pregnancy. If it happens, of course, we’ll deal with it, but that’s why we were hoping for a year between. Of course with my PCOS symptoms already coming back, I may never ovulate again. It’s in His hands anyway, I guess.

 

[mamacita]

Congratulations, my DW is **pregnant with our 4th right now 22m. ** I want to just offer some encouragement by saying that following NFP is not “turning your back on ‘leaving it in God’s hands’” since He could still bless you with a child when you think that you are in a time of infertility.

Take heart, if you choose to learn NFP and follow it, it is amazing. It can be a struggle to have to abstain, but absence makes the heart grow fonder.

MM, if I am 22 months pregnant then we’ve got some serious problems!!!

I am 22 weeks! Just an FYI

 

[Convert_in_99]

MM, if I am 22 months pregnant then we’ve got some serious problems!!!

I am 22 weeks! Just an FYI

…awww Mamacita you crack me up girl!

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

I’m with you, Convert, I don’t think EB is family planning (since, you know, the Amazon women do it and I don’t think they really have “family planning” in mind, you know?), but I could see how someone could consider it family planning, since it was something I had to learn how to do because we’ve lost a lot of old wisdom in our culture.

I voted, too, by the way.

I’ve always BF but have never followed all the EB rules because I found some of the rules are not compatible with what is in the best interest for our family (I totally agree with the baby lead nursing etc, just not the cosleeping), and my fertility has returned “early” both times. I could see how someone would say it is family planning since I would deliberately have to change what we found is best for us in order to avoid pregnancy if I wanted to do EB. On the other hand, there are others that follow all the rules just because that is they believe is best for their family, whether it is part of EB or not.