Anyone else dislike the sign of peace?

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I think the Sign (Kiss) of Peace is an integral part of the Mass which was restored to the liturgy after Vatican II. It puts into practice Our LORD’s admonition in Matthew 5:21-26 regarding making peace with your brother/sister before you offer your gift on the altar.
This ritual was used in the early Church and I am sure it made people uncomfortable because at the liturgy we had masters and slaves, rich and poor, saints and sinners all gathered together and they all had to offer one another the sign of peace as equals
 
My understanding of the kiss of peace is that whilst one aspect is a show of fellowship and love, it is primarily an act of fulfilling the command to reconcile with our brothers before approaching the altar.

Whilst this can be done symbolically by exchanging the sign of peace with those immediately around you, it seems to me that if there is someone in the congregation against whom you have a particular grievance or judgement, then it would be appropriate to walk across the church to make peace with them. (- Not by discussing the matter or “talking it through” but simply by offering the sign of Christ’s peace with the humility and unconditional forgiveness that we receive from Christ). After all as Catholics, we deal in what is real and concrete, not merely symbolic and wishy-washy.

So it seems to me that this is an important and integral part of the liturgy and I would definitely not want it to be omitted.

However, I do sympathise with those people who find it distracting. To have the sign of peace directly after the consecration, with the body & blood of Christ sitting on the altar, does seem to me a very strange time to do it, and I am tempted to think it completely inappropriate.

The best solution that I can think of is to move the sign of peace to a more appropriate point in the liturgy. The time that suggests itself is after the Prayers of the Faithful and before the Offertory. This seems to make more sense from every aspect. This is the point at which we pass from the Liturgy of the Word to the Liturgy of the Eucharist. The readings and homily having helped to concentrate our minds, we now prepare ourselves to approach the Altar by first making peace with our brothers.

To me, this seems to be the best way to do things. But before you all hail me as a liturgical genius or indeed condemn me as liturgical innovator, I should explain that this is in fact an existing and authentic liturgical practice which is part of the Ambrosian Rite which dates from at least the 4th century AD and is still in use in Milan today.

With Love,

Simon.
 
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WhiteDove:
I feel like a crudgemugen, but I always sort of dread that part of the Mass. I hate forced friendliness and touchy feely stuff. I especially can’t stand it at daily Mass. Usually everyone is sort of spread apart at daily Mass, so I just wave and smile. I always feel silly.

I fake it pretty well, but I still can’t stand it. I think the kids like it though. I wish they’d get rid of it. Aren’t I a killjoy? But, the whole thing reminds me of my mother forcing me kiss someone or be friendly.

Anyone else feel this way???
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interesting tread, but why would anyone dread that part? IT"S peace we’re talking about! Wouldn’t anyone want to recieve peace from another person? Oh well, i guess it’s just how people feel. They shouldn’t call it peace then but the sign “Forced Feeling and Touchy stuff” lol

:blessyou:
Podo The Hobbit
 
The sign of peace is one of those things I am tempted to dislike, but I like it for my daughter. Rachel is severely autistic and rarely does she understand social nuances but she DOES understand mass. She loves the sign of peace. She loves the chance to reach out and shake hands with the people around her, especially those who aren’t members of our family.

She will thrust her hand out expectantly and smile and shake hands so nicely. Her very mind is isolated to a great extent, but somehow in the setting of mass Grace touches her enough that she can reach out of her isolation and connect. So even though I tend to be a bit anti-social I happen to see the value in this thing. Our society isolates us so much maybe we all need to acknowledge the presence of others in mass.
-D
 
Brennan Doherty:
Well, again, it is the timing. I don’t recall Jesus making any Sign of Peace after the consecration at the Last Supper.

Thus, to me, it is not about being unfriendly. I like people who are friendly and have no problems at all with hugging. Nevertheless, it just does not seem as if it should be done after the consecration.

After all, at Mass we are outside of time at Cavalry, at the foot of the cross, and that does not seem like the spot where people would naturally start exchanging hugs and handshakes.
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You’re right, Jesus wasn’t into handshakes. He washed feet, laid hands upon the sick and raised the dead. But for expediency’s sake, we settle for a little friendly greeting and a sign that we’re all a big happy family that can show the smallest amount of friendship and fellowship for 60 seconds of our day. Imagine if Jesus were only friendly for 60 seconds of the day…wouldn’t that make eternity feel a whole lot worse?

And lovey Dovey, get over it. Touching people is a wonderful thing. In your wonderful profession, the healing arts are done through barriers. No one touches anyone without gloves anymore. But now it’s time to take down the barriers and get back to being NICE to each other on a regular basis…touch and all!

We French had it all figured out long before the stuffy old Brits. Hugs and kisses on both cheeks…the way it should be!
 
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darcee:
The sign of peace is one of those things I am tempted to dislike, but I like it for my daughter. Rachel is severely autistic and rarely does she understand social nuances but she DOES understand mass. She loves the sign of peace. She loves the chance to reach out and shake hands with the people around her, especially those who aren’t members of our family.

She will thrust her hand out expectantly and smile and shake hands so nicely. Her very mind is isolated to a great extent, but somehow in the setting of mass Grace touches her enough that she can reach out of her isolation and connect. So even though I tend to be a bit anti-social I happen to see the value in this thing. Our society isolates us so much maybe we all need to acknowledge the presence of others in mass.
-D
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Dear Darcee,
That’s very moving. Gives me a new perspective. My kids like it too…
 
Dear Rambler,
Hey, I only use gloves if absolutely necessary. I’m very old fashioned, and still give backrubs to my patients (without gloves). I love that aspect of my job, and the patients love that special TLC. I give foot rubs too sometimes… 🙂
 
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WhiteDove:
Dear Rambler,
Hey, I only use gloves if absolutely necessary. I’m very old fashioned, and still give backrubs to my patients (without gloves). I love that aspect of my job, and the patients love that special TLC. I give foot rubs too sometimes… 🙂
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So shake hands already. It’s a nice thing to do in an otherwise unfriendly world.
 
Dear Rambler

I said I fake it well…so, quit naggin’ already, will ya? :rolleyes:
 
Alot of the above posters have already mentioned my objections to the shaking. Germs! Germs! Germs!!!

When I go to daily mass I purposely choose to sit away from other people. Not only can I concentrate better but I am less likely to be grabbed by a germy hand. I’m trapped at Sunday mass so I make sure to use my handwash.

Yes, I carry my hand wash and use it but the priest picks up alot of germs if he goes around shaking before comunion time. I therefore try to sit on the side where the priest does not give out communion…a better chance not to get the germs.
Code: 
 There is one church that I visited once that had a washing of the hands ceremony for the ministers before they distributed communion.  I like that idea.
When the priest gives communion on the tongue he is directly exposed to the germs of the tongue. I don’t like the idea of receiving on the tongue.

I get cold sores about once a year on my lips. Cold sores remain dormant but they are always there. I therefore feel it is my moral duty not to expose others to the posibility of getting a cold sore. I do not receive the precious blood because of that reason.

All you hot blooded Italians are probably calling me a 🤓 “cold fish” 🤓 right now. I would be very willing to shake your hands or hug you…A F T E R…receiving communion…even if you have a cold. :clapping: :dancing: :amen:

Just don’t force me to shake your germy hand and have the priest shake everyone’s germy hands before communion.
 
Dear ally,
Uh, my dear, you sound, well, somewhat OCD. This type of obsessive worry about germs is actually considered to be a symptom of that disorder, no offense.
 
Put me down as disliking the sign of peace. There is a family that sits behind us every Sunday and during the “cold & flu” season I hear a lot of sneezing and coughing. I dread shaking hands, but dread the thought of being unsociable too. When we’re away for vacation the church I attend is small and the new priest there goes up one isle shaking the hands of each individual and down the other side. I’m still trying to figure out a polite way of saying to him this is clearly an abuse. This around 40 priest also sits while the Deacon and EM distributes Holy Communion. Once, while visiting a church, instead of the sign of peace, the priest asked the congregation to pause and examine their conscience if they needed to make peace with a family member or friend and invite Jesus to give them the courage and know how to do it.

There are small waterless hand cleaners that can be used to clean your hands discreetly…you just have to remember to put one in your pocket.
 
whitedove

Name calling is not charitable

If I said anything that was obsessive I beg your pardon. I was also obsessive about staying a virgin for my husband and he did the same for me. We respect other people and do not want to spread germs. Neither of us ever worried about stds because we did not expose ourselves to them. That is not obsessive but charitable…Christian and smart! My husband is a physician and is exposed to millions of germs every day but when we go to church he and I both only shake hands when others extend their hands first. We then use the purell handwash. I also spent a year working in a mental hospital so I am very aware of mental diseases. Please do not call me names because I brought up some very real concerns about germs.
 
Gee ally, sorry if you were offended, didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I was half kiddin’ ya know, didn’t mean to be ‘uncharitable’ 😃

I do think carrying purell around is totally unnecessary and can be harmful. Did you know that over use of hand sanitizers and handwashing has been linked to increase in immune disorders in kids, such as allergies, autoimmune disorders, etc??? The latest evidence points strongly to that. The immune system likes to keep a little busy, and if left without a job gets into mischief! Lots of doctors are a little behind on stuff like that, unfortunately.

I’m a nurse, BTW, but what is appropriate handwashing in the hospital is a different story, obviously. You might want to have your hubby look into the latest on overcleanliness and it’s link to the things I’ve mentioned, I know it’s been in the medical journals… 🙂
 
Whitedove

Over-use of anything is harmful. Using a handwash once a week is not over-use. We are well aware of the problems of over-using antibiotics and handwashes. Plain soap and water would be preferable.

That’s why I mentioned the church that had the hand washing ceremony before they distributed communion. I like the idea that they showed concern for the parishoners. Would you like to see that practiced in the churches? I like the idea of coming up with some constructive suggestions that would make everyone feel more comfortable about the church practices. Sure I complained about the germs but I and others also wrote about what they would like to see changed. One of my suggestions was to hug, caress, shake hands or do whatever felt right…at the end of mass. Here’s a big hug for you Whitedove. God loves you and so do I.:dancing: 👍
 
Dear ally,
Well, I dislike the sign of peace for reasons other than cleanliness. I think a handwashing ceremony sounds very nice though, and would be in keeping with Jewish traditions of handwashing. Alot of those old Jewish laws really were great health innovations actually.

I agree, though, it is ackward that folks who are hacking away insist on shaking and holding hands at Mass. One time, at daily Mass, where there is so much room to spread out, there was a woman who just HAD to go and sit right in front of me. She spent the whole Mass putting her hand in front of her mouth, unable to surpress her cough. Of course, she just HAD to try and shake my hand! (in the spirit of Christian charity, of course!):rolleyes: I actually refused, but it made me feel like a heel.

But, I’m pretty healthy, and I always take the chalice, so I guess it hasn’t killed me yet. 🙂
 
The Sign of Peace was part of the original Mass liturgy in the Early Church. Justin Matryr wrote about it in his Apology (Defense) to the Emperor. Originally it was near the beginning of Mass, when Vatican II brought it back they placed it after the Lord’s Prayer.

So think of it as a practice from our early Christians that is back and not as “touchy feely, kumbaya” rubric (Although I understand this feeling during the dreaded folk masses! :bigyikes: . Hopefully this information will help you appreciate it more.

PAX

Dan G.
 
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Gouletdr:
The Sign of Peace was part of the original Mass liturgy in the Early Church. Justin Matryr wrote about it in his Apology (Defense) to the Emperor. Originally it was near the beginning of Mass, when Vatican II brought it back they placed it after the Lord’s Prayer.

So think of it as a practice from our early Christians that is back and not as “touchy feely, kumbaya” rubric
Dan G.
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Dear Dan, According to Jurgens’ The Faith of the Early Fathers, (#128), St Justin Martyr in his Apology tells us, “Having concluded the prayers, we greet one another with a kiss.”

Now how about that? Perhaps he meant that perfunctory type we are accustomed to seeing among foreign leaders - the two cheek variety. Or, perhap it isn’t. My own observation is that the kissing, when it occurs, is major kumbaya /touchy feely/warm and fuzzy - or worse.

More perplexing: Somewhere I have read that the early Church kiss was on the mouth. :eek: Thankfully, I have forgotten where I read this. (Freudian?)

:whacky:

Anna
 
YES! I can’t stand the sign of Peace. Not because I am a non-peace loving person 😛 But because it is so disrespectful to the Blessed Sacrament. If people would do it in a more reverent way then it would be AS bad. However, its now like we are going to a huge family reunion…“how have you been?..What’s new?” They start conversations during Mass. And then of course husbands start smootching with their wives etc. It just isn’t appropriate behavior during a “sacrifice.” And if you chose not to par-take in it…then people think your some terrible person who won’t accept the “peace of the Lord”. How do they get the right to distribute the peace of the Lord? Itsn’t that from the Lord? Same thing when people say “bless you” instead of “God Bless you.” What power do they have to bless someone. All blessings come from God. Duh! Oh well…Sorry if I was rattling on…
 
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