Anyone else uneasy about annulments?

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They do this for the priesthood - you know the “other vocational sacrament”
Yeah, and many non-religious occupations as well. Doesn’t seem unreasonable to me although I’m not sure how this would be carried out. What conditions would be a basis for barrier to the vocation of marriage, which ones could be ‘overcome’, who makes the decision, are some conditions incompatible in some couples but not others, who sets the standards etc.
 
It seems that a lot of people on CAF
  • Have had their previous marriage annulled
  • Expect to get an annullment if they apply
  • hardly knows anyone who ever received a ‘no’
  • thinks its okay to apply at other tribunals if the first one says no.
I don’t think you can use CAF as an accurate barometer for divorce and annulment attitudes or frequency. CAF being what it is - one of the biggest clearinghouses for things Catholic on the Internet - is naturally going to encourage threads started people who have questions or who are seeking advice about their divorce or annulment. And with the exception of a few true cannon law experts, most of the respondents are going to base their replies solely on their own divorce/experiences.

This about it this way: I haven’t had an annulment, nor have I know anyone who’s applied for one (and this is the truth, btw). Would it be accurate of me to extrapolate from this that annulments are unnecessary? Would it be fair of me to conclude that it’s wrong to try to get an annulment, or to try again with another tribunal if the first one rejected their application?

Luna
 
Ok. This would require every couple to be screened by psychologists. Are you proposing the Church makes that a part of marriage preparation for every couple? You can’t really say only required given certain criteria as many mental illnesses or impediments aren’t readily apparent. Or ebb and flow given stress and other life factors. I can certainly see the benefit, but would you advocate that certain mental conditions would be permanent barriers to marriage or simply require additional preparations or conditions prior to marriage?
My concern is a more pragmatic one - who’s going to pay for the screening? My husband took the MMPI-2 and underwent a psych evaluation for to qualify for a job, and that process cost us $2,500 in 2008. Contrast that to the $75 we paid for pre-cana. 🤷

Luna
 
My concern is a more pragmatic one - who’s going to pay for the screening? My husband took the MMPI-2 and underwent a psych evaluation for to qualify for a job, and that process cost us $2,500 in 2008. Contrast that to the $75 we paid for pre-cana. 🤷

Luna
The tribunals seem to be able to diagnose people on second hand information without ever actually meeting them. So why couldn’t they work their magic just as easily before the wedding? Have a couple of witnesses submit testimony in writing concerning fitness for marriage and then have it reviewed before the wedding.
 
The tribunals seem to be able to diagnose people on second hand information without ever actually meeting them. So why couldn’t they work their magic just as easily before the wedding? Have a couple of witnesses submit testimony in writing concerning fitness for marriage and then have it reviewed before the wedding.
I can’t tell if you’re being facetious, but what you’re suggesting isn’t a valid or reliable way to conduct a psychological evaluation.

Luna
 
Part of the problem with objectively looking at annulments is that it is difficult to get figures on the rate of successful/denied annulments. One article on the net claims that the success rate is 97% from the St. Paul-Minneapolis marriage tribunal. That seems inordinately high except for the fact that the marriage tribunal presiding judge states that many marriages which would likely be denied annulment are discouraged from even applying. That thins the number, but it is unclear how many cases are discouraged from applying in the US or western world.
The claim that the herd is thinned prior to the tribunal is brought up in every thread on annulments but I’ve yet to see any evidence presented to support it.

Two things that stick out for me are:

Judging a marriages validity based on hearsay and evidence gathered from only one party is amazingly difficult. How are the people who cull the cases able to make such amazingly accurate predictions as to what the tribunal will find? Like you said, in St Paul they get it right 97% of the time!!

Some tribunals grant a much lower % of annulments. How is that the people doing the screening are doing such a lousy job in so many tribunals and such an amazing job on others? It could be skill, I suppose, but it seems more likely that it is due to the jurisprudence of the tribunal.
 
The claim that the herd is thinned prior to the tribunal is brought up in every thread on annulments but I’ve yet to see any evidence presented to support it.

Two things that stick out for me are:
Judging a marriages validity based on hearsay and evidence gathered from only one party is amazingly difficult. How are the people who cull the cases able to make such amazingly accurate predictions as to what the tribunal will find? Like you said, in St Paul they get it right 97% of the time!!
 
Second, the petitioners are bound by the law of God to be honest in approaching the tribunal. If they misrepresent or lie, and that produces a situation where a valid marraige is then ruled to be invalid, leading to a lifelong practice of mortal sin on the part of all involved (when they know they have lied to the tribunal), then that is NOT the fault of the tribunal, but the fault, and grave sin, of the petitioners themselves.
I would also blame the tribunal for that. They should be less gullible
One could speculate either way, but they don’t have any proof for either assertion granted the private nature of annulments. That renders your speculation as illigitimate as theirs.🤷
If someone has been predicting winning stock with 97% accuracy for the past 30 years I don’t need to look at their numbers; I already know they must have inside information.

If someone tells me they can predict a serious psychological defect with 97% based on written evidence I just don’t believe them. Especially when other people in the “industry” only get it right 40-60% of the time. If it were only one data point I would agree with you but we have over 30 years worth to compare.
 
The tribunals seem to be able to diagnose people on second hand information without ever actually meeting them. So why couldn’t they work their magic just as easily before the wedding? Have a couple of witnesses submit testimony in writing concerning fitness for marriage and then have it reviewed before the wedding.
For the same reason that you can’t lock up someone you believe to be a psychopath when he hasn’t committed any crimes. If someone freely admits (on a request for dispensation, for instance) that they are not properly disposed to receive the sacrament, that is one thing, but you cannot do an evaluation and conclude by conjecture that the person is not capable when the person asserts that he or she is.

**Can. 1058 **All persons who are not prohibited by law can contract marriage.

Besides, we all know that if these evaluations were done and the marriages allowed to go through as a prospective study, there would be valid marriages unjustly prevented. It is wrong to commit a known injustice in order to prevent a possible injustice.
 
The tribunals seem to be able to diagnose people on second hand information without ever actually meeting them. So why couldn’t they work their magic just as easily before the wedding? Have a couple of witnesses submit testimony in writing concerning fitness for marriage and then have it reviewed before the wedding.
Actually in many cases the Tribunals send testimony for psychological evaluations as well as people. Also they are using expert testimony from psychologists and other experts. It is often not just diagnoses from second hand testimony as you put it.
 
The alleged poor pre-Cana work is a bit of a red herring. The requisite maturity to understand the duties and obligations of marriage is simply not that unattainable to believe that literally tens of thousands of people can be found, oftentimes many years after the fact, not to have possessed it.
While having the maturity to understand the duties and obligations of marriage as you see them may not be unattainable, having an understanding of the duties and obligations of marriage as the Church sees them is another matter entirely. There was certainly a substantial gap between what I expected from our marriage and what my wife expected from our marriage, to say nothing of what the Church expected of our marriage. I wouldn’t say it’s entirely on the shoulders of the priests who administered such lacking marriage prep, but they certainly gave a lot of ammunition to the people seeking annulments.
 
While having the maturity to understand the duties and obligations of marriage as you see them may not be unattainable, having an understanding of the duties and obligations of marriage as the Church sees them is another matter entirely. There was certainly a substantial gap between what I expected from our marriage and what my wife expected from our marriage, to say nothing of what the Church expected of our marriage. I wouldn’t say it’s entirely on the shoulders of the priests who administered such lacking marriage prep, but they certainly gave a lot of ammunition to the people seeking annulments.
The requirement can’t be all that high if a 16 year old man and a 14 year old woman are considered old enough by the Church to assume the duties and obligations of marriage.
 
The claim that the herd is thinned prior to the tribunal is brought up in every thread on annulments but I’ve yet to see any evidence presented to support it.

Two things that stick out for me are:

Judging a marriages validity based on hearsay and evidence gathered from only one party is amazingly difficult. How are the people who cull the cases able to make such amazingly accurate predictions as to what the tribunal will find? Like you said, in St Paul they get it right 97% of the time!!

Some tribunals grant a much lower % of annulments. How is that the people doing the screening are doing such a lousy job in so many tribunals and such an amazing job on others? It could be skill, I suppose, but it seems more likely that it is due to the jurisprudence of the tribunal.
As an advocate for the petitions for nullaty of Marriage I can honestly state that the discussions that I have had with those seeking annulments has caused at least 60% of them to not persue their cases. Furthermore I would say that about 20% of the cases that go through the Tribunal are not continued.

The fact that these are private matters and not subject to public view has caused this type of speculation to arise and facts to be distorted.
 
Grace D K…I agree with your post 100%.
The church can never expect its flock to believe in the permancy of the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony when a very low percentage of annulments are denied.

Grace, you will not find a lot of support on CA forums. Trust me, I know!
 
The requirement can’t be all that high if a 16 year old man and a 14 year old woman are considered old enough by the Church to assume the duties and obligations of marriage.
That is the minimum even if all other conditions are met. IOW, this minimum legal age recognizes that even those of us who seem born mature enough to marry have to wait some minimum amount of time before we can do so. That law does not imply that everyone will be suitably mature to marry by the time they reach that age.
 
It seems that a lot of people on CAF
  • Have had their previous marriage annulled
  • Expect to get an annullment if they apply
  • hardly knows anyone who ever received a ‘no’
  • thinks its okay to apply at other tribunals if the first one says no.
I had a canon law class at the university some years ago. Taught by a priest and canon lawyer. I was quite surprised when he, a faithful man of the Church, openly admitted that the anullment procedure is very much abused today in America and Europe. Basically a lot of people get annulments from “nice guys” while their past marriage is really valid.

Seems to me that as long as this abuse goes on the credibility of the whole Catholic Marriage institution is undermined. I start to think that if I would ever get married the “Catholic divorce” would always be there as a threat, and that according to all the excuses people have for thinking they should be given annulments - like my dad verbally abused me so I was sad when I married - most marriages are probably not valid…

I mean… we are all wounded people. We can all say: I was immature etc etc…

Anyone feels the same way… or am I just an angry monster for thinking that I cannot take this seriously because I see it ruins the credibility of the Church and causes scandal.
You can’t go by what you see here. People come here with doubt and questions. It’s the troubled who post about their marriage.

A happily married couple who never considered their marriage to be invalid is not going to come and post: “we are happily married and never considered seeking a decree of nullity.” What would be the point?

This is just a snapshot of the entire subject of annulments. And only a sampling of Catholic marriages in general. I know successful and happy marriages too.
 
The requirement can’t be all that high if a 16 year old man and a 14 year old woman are considered old enough by the Church to assume the duties and obligations of marriage.
I think a couple’s maturity level is irrelevant if nobody has ever taken the time to sit them down and say, “This is what the Church views as a valid marriage, and this is what the Church expects of you in a valid marriage.” The point of marriage isn’t to show you’re friends how much you love one another, or to have a built in travel-mate or designated driver when you’re out getting wasted. The point isn’t to acquire a second income so you can buy that awesome fixer-upper, then have separate beds, separate lives and only see each other in passing on Monday mornings. The Church doesn’t expect you to spend 10-15 years on the pill then blow your life savings on fertility treatments because everybody else is having a trophy baby and you want to be part of the crowd. Without proper guidance and instruction at the beginning, people won’t know what’s truly expected of them and will enter into unions that, by the letter of the law, aren’t considered valid by the Church. Better, more thorough marriage preparation might cut back on some of these invalid marriages, and reduce the need for so many annulments.
 
I think a couple’s maturity level is irrelevant if nobody has ever taken the time to sit them down and say, “This is what the Church views as a valid marriage, and this is what the Church expects of you in a valid marriage.” The point of marriage isn’t to show you’re friends how much you love one another, or to have a built in travel-mate or designated driver when you’re out getting wasted. The point isn’t to acquire a second income so you can buy that awesome fixer-upper, then have separate beds, separate lives and only see each other in passing on Monday mornings. The Church doesn’t expect you to spend 10-15 years on the pill then blow your life savings on fertility treatments because everybody else is having a trophy baby and you want to be part of the crowd. Without proper guidance and instruction at the beginning, people won’t know what’s truly expected of them and will enter into unions that, by the letter of the law, aren’t considered valid by the Church. Better, more thorough marriage preparation might cut back on some of these invalid marriages, and reduce the need for so many annulments.
A “designated driver when you’re out getting wasted”? Someone with good judgment would sign up for that? :eek:

But yes, you are right. I would go even further, however. I do not think this is something learned as one reaches the age of courtship. Rather, I believe a more pervasive message about what Catholic marriage and family life realistically ought to be is essential if we are going to prepare Catholics to take on the duties of and realize the many graces made available by a sacramental marriage. By pervasive, I mean aimed at every Catholic of every age, aimed often, and delivered openly and clearly.

I don’t know that I’d use rhetoric such as “because everybody else is having a trophy baby and you want to be part of the crowd”. I don’t think that reflects an appreciation of the sad situation of having let one’s youth slip away without realizing the consequences. Worse yet, couples who take a long time to have a baby through no delay of theirs get enough flak as it is. It is worth going out of our way to avoid hurting feelings that already have plenty of road rash inflicted by the rash judgment of others. As far as the situation where affluent spouses live largely separate lives, that is rarely something that is arrived at by dreaming about it prior to marriage, but rather comes when it is not appreciated that such an unwanted destination can be reached for want of the substantial effort required to steer elsewhere! 😦
 
Actually in many cases the Tribunals send testimony for psychological evaluations as well as people. Also they are using expert testimony from psychologists and other experts. It is often not just diagnoses from second hand testimony as you put it.
::raises hand::: Because I alleged a personality disorder on the part of my ex-spouse, and because he refuses to release years of psychiatric records, my diocesan tribunal did indeed send our big fat file to a psychological expert for evaluation. That testimony was not released along with the other witnesses’, so I don’t know what it said.
 
A “designated driver when you’re out getting wasted”? Someone with good judgment would sign up for that? :eek:

I don’t know that I’d use rhetoric such as “because everybody else is having a trophy baby and you want to be part of the crowd”. I don’t think that reflects an appreciation of the sad situation of having let one’s youth slip away without realizing the consequences. Worse yet, couples who take a long time to have a baby through no delay of theirs get enough flak as it is. It is worth going out of our way to avoid hurting feelings that already have plenty of road rash inflicted by the rash judgment of others. As far as the situation where affluent spouses live largely separate lives, that is rarely something that is arrived at by dreaming about it prior to marriage, but rather comes when it is not appreciated that such an unwanted destination can be reached for want of the substantial effort required to steer elsewhere! 😦
For the people we know like this, they’ve flaunted their situations to us enough that I’m pretty comfortable characterizing them that way. They’ve also made it clear that they disapprove of our “unfortunate” situation (married, faithful, kids, happy). That’s not to say they won’t have an epiphany at some point and realize they could have invested their time differently. Perhaps with better catechesis and marriage preparation they might have thought of it 10-20 years ago.
But yes, you are right. I would go even further, however. I do not think this is something learned as one reaches the age of courtship. Rather, I believe a more pervasive message about what Catholic marriage and family life realistically ought to be is essential if we are going to prepare Catholics to take on the duties of and realize the many graces made available by a sacramental marriage. By pervasive, I mean aimed at every Catholic of every age, aimed often, and delivered openly and clearly.
I agree with this entirely. We talk to our kids quite often (especially our son) about what a Catholic marriage means. We also do everything we can to show them by example. We also no longer hesitate to speak up if they bring home teachings that aren’t in line with what the Church actually teaches, and not only correct them and then show them sources giving the correct teaching, but don’t hesitate to call the school or our priest to voice our concerns.
 
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