Anyone Ever Feel Like Leaving the Church?

[Dempsey1919]

There are times when I am extremely enthusiastic about the faith, and there are times when I feel like leaving the Church.

It’s just so hard to be a committed Catholic in our society, especially when you have no Catholic friends or relatives. None of my friends understand my faith or my reasons for choosing to be a Catholic. They can’t understand why I don’t sleep around and get drunk every week. They think I’m eccentric. I sometimes wish that I wasn’t Catholic because my life would be so much easier. I could have all the girlfriends I wanted, I could drink as much as I wanted; I wouldn’t have to worry about going to Mass, and I wouldn’t have to constantly defend my choices to friends and relatives.

I’ve got to be honest, and say that the hardest thing about being Catholic is the moral restrictions it places on my life. The burden of faith sometimes feels to hard to bear. I often wonder if it is even possible to achieve holiness in the modern world.

I often think about leaving the Church. In fact, I practically did for eight months (I didn’t receive the Sacraments, but I still went to Mass.) Guess what? I wasn’t happy. I didn’t feel at peace. I knew my life was shallow and meaningless. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I went to confession and Mass and I experienced real peace for the first time in months.

I’m Catholic and I will always be Catholic. If I left the Church I would always have this nagging voice in my soul urging me to return home. Once you’re Catholic, you’re always Catholic. The faith gets into your blood and never leaves. If you leave the faith, your conscience will always trouble you. I know mine always does.

 

[CountrySinger]

boring, stereotypical catholics; the AARP gang; you don’t go to confession; don’t receive Jesus in the Eucharist; don’t want to waste your Sunday riding the bus to a better Mass; and don’t believe a lot of what the church teaches. but you… stay because of mommy guilt? really? … you’re blaming your mother for being stuck with all this…?

in my parish, this is called the 12:10 weekday mass. everybody there (averages 60 people any day of the week) also go to the Sunday masses. about half of them are university students-- grad and undergrad. another quarter, young professional. the last portion moms with kids.

so… here’s wittnessing to Christ’s love. HE loves you CS. you belong to HIM. the proper response to that awesome astonishing eternal Truth? humility. surrender. obedience. love. our returned love will NEVER be what HE deserves. so we’re back at square one. humility. surrender. obedience. love.

repeat.

repeat.

repreat.

this is so NOT about you. this is about HIM and what you mean to HIM.

***There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. *** 1John 4:18, 19

***We love because he first loved us.

We love because he first loved us.

We love because he first loved us.***

Try to give me a little credit.
I go to Mass because I know it is good for me. I feel sick to my stomach when I’m there (one reason not to take the Eucharist). But I know it will help. I don’t know when or how.

It’s easy to something to do something when you love it. If I only did what I wanted to do, my life would be very different. Believe me, I would rather sleep in on Sunday mornings than have to get up early for a two hour ride to Mass (I love sleep).

And I’m sure God would rather have ANYONE but me there. He might not even care with running the whole universe. I believe in God and Jesus’ forgiveness for other people. I’m still amazed that my boyfriend likes ME, so the whole forgiveness and unconditional love is a little hard to wrap my head around.

 

[Ponyguy]

And I’m sure God would rather have ANYONE but me there. He might not even care with running the whole universe. I believe in God and Jesus’ forgiveness for other people. I’m still amazed that my boyfriend likes ME, so the whole forgiveness and unconditional love is a little hard to wrap my head around.

Hey, Country Girl,
That’s a load of poop and you know it. Quit beating yourself up and belittling yourself.

Listen to the song from B&D and Reba:

"Cowgirls don’t cry
Ride, baby, ride
lessons of life are going to show you in time
soon enough your gonna know why
it’s gonna hurt every now and then
if you fall get back on again
Cowgirls don’t cry."

Heck, I wish I was young enough to be
your boy friend…
Why would he not like you any more?

Cowgirl UP!

 

[CAnnElizabeth]

If this is a serious thread…

I’ve thought long and hard several times about staying in or leaving the Catholic Church – I have problems and issues with some of the NON-ESSENTIAL teachings and a lot that comes directly from Rome. (I regret the more conservative influence of Pope John Paul II and Cardinal Ratzinger/Pope Benedict XVI who have back-tracked Vatican II in many ways).

But…I was baptized as an infant, which seems to me on a simple level that this is where God put me and wants me. The real “Church” happens at the parish level, anyway, and I just can’t imagine not participating in the Mass and receiving Communion.

It’s absolutely the Eucharist that keeps me a faithful Catholic.

 

[onmyknees]

Try to give me a little credit.
I go to Mass because I know it is good for me. I feel sick to my stomach when I’m there (one reason not to take the Eucharist). But I know it will help. I don’t know when or how.

It’s easy to something to do something when you love it. If I only did what I wanted to do, my life would be very different. Believe me, I would rather sleep in on Sunday mornings than have to get up early for a two hour ride to Mass (I love sleep).

And I’m sure God would rather have ANYONE but me there. He might not even care with running the whole universe. I believe in God and Jesus’ forgiveness for other people. I’m still amazed that my boyfriend likes ME, so the whole forgiveness and unconditional love is a little hard to wrap my head around.

Hi Country Singer! I am a fellow Seattlelite! Do You go to St. Theresa’s in Fed. Way or St. Vincent’s? I ask because I remember you saying that you live in Federal Way and I know that their is a young adult, Sunday night mass with a band at St. Vincent’s parish.

Also may I suggest reading psalm 139. It is my favorite and about how God love’s you so much! God bless and I am praying for you.

 

[monicatholic]

It’s easy to something to do something when you love it.

it’s hard to do hard things, but when you love the person for whom you do it, hard stuff has a different meaning. changing your focus from of Mass-as-medicine to Mass as worship of God, (Who deserves our worship and praise, because HE is all good,) may help you feel less entitled to a certain expereince of Mass.

And I’m sure God would rather have ANYONE but me there.

maybe this kind of self deprecation is habitual for you, but let’s look at what this statement is saying about God:

God Who has always known everything about you an infinity before you were born, saw all the gifts and talents and graces HE would give you, saw how much HE would love you; also saw all your sins, all your obstinance, all your refusals of HIS love.

nevertheless, HE created you because HE wanted you to spend eternity with HIM despite all your grunge. HE created you because HIS love and salvation is more powerful than all your ick by an immesurable infinity.

but by your proposition that HE rather have anayone but you at Mass, you’ve asserted HE’s either:
***surprised ***by your behavior
OR
has changed HIS mind about you
OR
HE created you for the specific purpose of being a bad joke.

which is it?

(hint, they’re ALL lies about God.)

(double hint-- this little scenario is shared by all the megazillions of persons ever created by God. the only thing unique about your scenario is that in pertains to you.)

perhaps your assertion is **wrong, **CS.

if you can learn to challenge the lies you tell yourself with the Truths God has revealed, you’ll be OK. if not, no.

the devil is the father of lies.

but HIS TRUTH will set you free. real freedom sounds good, no?

 

[Dempsey1919]

I’ve thought long and hard several times about staying in or leaving the Catholic Church – I have problems and issues with some of the NON-ESSENTIAL teachings and a lot that comes directly from Rome. (I regret the more conservative influence of Pope John Paul II and Cardinal Ratzinger/Pope Benedict XVI who have back-tracked Vatican II in many ways).

I would love to reply to this point but it would take the thread off topic. CAnneElizabeth would you consider starting a new thread about this topic? I would love to hear your thoughts concerning the above.

Firstly, what NON-ESSENTIAL teachings are you referring to?
“a lot of what comes directly from Rome” What do you mean by this?
How did the late Pope John Paul and his successor Pope Benedict back-track Vatican II?

You seem to be very confused about important issues in the Catholic Church. It would be great if you could start another thread so we could discuss this.

 

[ContegoFides]

If you feel unworthy of the Eucharist, then go to confession. Repentance and confession will make you able to receive the bountiful grace’s of the Lord in the Eucharist! Don’t delay! Go to confession and then receive the Lord as He bids us!

53
Jesus said to them, “Amen, amen, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you.
54
Whoever eats 19 my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day.
55
For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink.
56
Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him.
57
Just as the living Father sent me and I have life because of the Father, so also the one who feeds on me will have life because of me.
58
This is the bread that came down from heaven. Unlike your ancestors who ate and still died, whoever eats this bread will live forever.”
59

John 6: 53-59

 

[Vimy_Ridge]

So my question is: has anyone else felt this way? Or am I just a weirdo? Or is this a sign from God that I should switch religions?

Not only have I felt that way but have done it, left the faith. I’ve spent the last ten years searching for an alternative yet nothing else makes sense to me and I cannot simply explain away Christianity so I’m coming back slowly. I got involved in alot of bad sins that still have a hold of me and I regret giving up. Being Catholic is hard sometimes, this is true, try and stay with it though.

 

[LookingForFaith]

I have felt like leaving. I did leave. For a long while…I am slowly starting to come back. I struggle so hard with faith and doubts every single day. So while I don’t have any advice, I just want you to know, you aren’t alone.

 

[Vimy_Ridge]

I have felt like leaving. I did leave. For a long while…I am slowly starting to come back. I struggle so hard with faith and doubts every single day. So while I don’t have any advice, I just want you to know, you aren’t alone.

I found that after leaving it is even harder to get back to practicing the way you used to especially if you have been reading alot of books that were critical of the faith. My final realization was that even if it is not all true it is still a good way of life.

 

[Berean2]

as I say “no” to certain things, it’s because I’m saying “yes” to something better.

:extrahappy:

 

[Sierrah]

Yes I’m seriously considering it. I feel like GOD and the church have abandoned me. I leave Mass crying every Sunday. It just doesn’t seem worth the effort anymore.

 

[ContegoFides]

Yes I’m seriously considering it. I feel like GOD and the church have abandoned me. I leave Mass crying every Sunday. It just doesn’t seem worth the effort anymore.

Why? There must be a reason for your pain.

Don’t despair! Jesus loves you so much that He came down from Heaven and suffered and died on a cross to redeem you, in particular! Well, He also came for everyone else as well - but that doesn’t change the fact that He made you and loves you and wants to bring you, in particular, into His loving embrace!

PM me if you would like to have a more private conversation.

God Bless,

 

[Redbaron998]

I joined the Church at 17 (still the only one of my family or friends who is Catholic) I was in about half a year untill I backslide and considered myself no more than a Deist for about a year and half. This Last Lent I returned to the Church, I have never been more fulfilled in my life. I grew up Protestant and church shopped with my family through most of my younger life, I have a pretty good idea of what else is out there.

My conclusion: Nothing else comes close (save EO) to the joy and fullfilment of truth of joy that the Catholic church has to offer.

I have had every question and charge of anti-Catholicism laid at my feet, and have done the research and seen Every Single One of them disproved with Scripture and the Church Fathers.

I can understand the Protestant point of view cause I used to be, and its largely due to ignorance. I can understand the non-Christian point of view from my studies into most of the non-Christian religions of the world when I was seeking as a Deist. (I will admit I cannot see the Athiest point of view, it seems completely illogical to me)

Having seen a good bit of the worlds religious tapistry I can appreciate parts of other religions and other churchs, all have thier good bits. Yet I say to you as a witness to Jesus Christ our Lord the Catholic Church is just amazing. It pains me to see some Catholics who dont recognize what they have at thier feet, espically my cradle Catholic brethern since most of them dont realize what a privledge they have had getting to grow up in the Church.

God Bless.

 

[Sierrah]

Why? There must be a reason for your pain.

Don’t despair! Jesus loves you so much that He came down from Heaven and suffered and died on a cross to redeem you, in particular! Well, He also came for everyone else as well - but that doesn’t change the fact that He made you and loves you and wants to bring you, in particular, into His loving embrace!

PM me if you would like to have a more private conversation.

God Bless,

Going to Mass alone seems to underscore everything. If you’re single the church has no place for you unless you take on a vocation…I do not feel called to any clerical or religous life. I feel if I was called to such a life I would know it or feel some draw towards it but I don’t. I have many friends in a nondenominal church who seem to have a great support structure. I might go in that direction.

 

[ComputerGeek25]

Going to Mass alone seems to underscore everything. If you’re single the church has no place for you unless you take on a vocation…I do not feel called to any clerical or religous life. I feel if I was called to such a life I would know it or feel some draw towards it but I don’t. I have many friends in a nondenominal church who seem to have a great support structure. I might go in that direction.

I think this is a very real problem the Church has on it’s hands, and why I think a lot of people end up leaving.

 

[CountrySinger]

I think this is a very real problem the Church has on it’s hands, and why I think a lot of people end up leaving.

And I know that some people will say, “Well, Church is not supposed to be a social place”, and then get all huffy. But it is hard to go to a big room, and be the only one not with someone. And do that week after week after week. And then get no support elsewhere. You can’t blame people for leaving, if Mass becomes a huge emotional thing to do every week.

I used to feel that way as well, but having a boyfriend has helped a lot. Even though we aren’t in the same country, but the fact that he is Catholic makes me feel less alone.

 

[EasterJoy]

Going to Mass alone seems to underscore everything. If you’re single the church has no place for you unless you take on a vocation…I do not feel called to any clerical or religous life. I feel if I was called to such a life I would know it or feel some draw towards it but I don’t. I have many friends in a nondenominal church who seem to have a great support structure. I might go in that direction.

My parish is full of Catholics who are there alone, and not just the old widows. Some of us are not married yet. Some of us are married to non-Catholics. Some of us are divorced.

Consider that the answer to feeling isolated in your parish may not be in leaving, but in coming further in. If you join the choir, volunteer to be a lector or EMHC or to train altar servers, to help with RCIA, to help with work days, volunteer at coffee and donuts, volunteer at the parish school, or do your out-of-parish volunteer work in groups with other parishioners, I have found that the work done together knits me together with others in the parish. If you don’t like working with anyone at your parish, try to find a different parish. Even if you are not in college, you can also go to Mass and can usually join in the activities at campus Newman Centers. (You might have to have a background check.) But don’t give up on your fellow parishioners until you have gone out of your way to help in the work of the parish. It doesn’t become your parish by just showing up on Sundays, and I think that is even true in the non-denominational churches. They may do a little better job of inviting people further in, but you still have to make that effort on your own behalf.

The thing is to take on work that you do with somebody else, if you are feeling isolated. Wait for another time to take on the reflective “alone” work, like washing and ironing altar linens, that kind of thing. I wouldn’t teach CCD, unless you have an adult team to work with. If you feel drawn to teaching, think RCIA. Find a need the parish has that fits the need you have. Think the Prayer of St. Francis…give generously, because you will find you cannot give more than God gives you. That is how the economy of God’s grace works. You don’t have to fight that. Do try to fill your need by giving to others, though.

 

[PJM]

=CountrySinger;6672103]After a lot of thinking, I’ve decided to stay in the Catholic Church. Plus, I want to go to Heaven. I don’t do well in heat. Hopefully faith will soon follow.

**15 Ways to Pay Attention at Mass **

"I’ve never been diagnosed with Attention Deficient Disorder (ADD) and I really don’t think I have it. I believe my characteristic of having to do two or three things at the same time is a learned behavior. I think in today’s world of multi-tasking we have trained ourselves to operate on different levels and our mind gets bored and wanders easily. This is why I can have a conversation with you while texting someone else and thinking about what I’m going to do the next day. So you take a guy with that mentality and put him I a Catholic church with statues and paintings and stained glass windows surrounded by people and you expect him to concentrate on the mass??

With that in mind, I’ve decided to give 15 ways to pay attention at mass.

Prepare. Don’t go into mass waiting to get blindsided. Find out what the readings are going to be before hand and read them. They can be found many places. They were probably in last week’s bulletin. You can find them in The Catholic Key and easiest of all you can find them on the US Bishops site. Read them before hand. Meditate on the readings.

Arrive early. A sure way to be distracted is by walking down the aisle either right before or after the processional. People should not be wondering why you are not wearing an alb.

Pray. What should you do with that extra time?? Sure, visiting with your fellow parishioners is nice but get to your seat 5-10 minutes before mass starts and spend it in prayer. Ask God to be with you during mass and to give you the grace to actively participate in the mass.

Sing. During the processional, the Gloria and all of the other parts of the mass. It’s been said that when you sing you are actually praying twice. You don’t have to be Pavarotti to sing as mass (if you haven’t noticed by the singing of some of the cantors!) Don’t be embarrassed. None of us are great singers but we are singing God’s praise and that’s a good thing.

Follow along. I’ve heard pros and cons of following along in the missalette. I’ve heard that the lector is breaking open the word of God and we should be listening and not reading. Well, that’s a valid point but there are some of us out there who can comprehend better by reading than by listening. If this is you then follow along. Some churches have the readings in the back of the hymnal. Some have seasonal missalettes for you. Or you can bring your own.

LISTEN to the homily!! Father has got something to say!! He may not be some inspirational speaker. He may have been busy this week and not prepared the best homily but you never know. You can always find some nugget in what Father has to say. Sometimes you may have an “Ah-ha!” moment and you wonder if Father wrote this with you personally in mind. You will think to yourself, “No—it couldn’t be. I haven’t talked to him about this issue I’m having –besides—I’m from out of town and have never met the man!”

LISTEN to the prayers of the faithful. For some reason I always find this a distracting time. It’s after the homily. It’s after the creed and my mind is stretched to the limit. Listen to each intention and when say, “Lord, hear our prayer” know what you are asking for. Maybe you will remember the name of a sick person or recently departed to take home to remember in your prayers there.

Meditate. If you are still too shy to sing during the collection than spend that time meditating. Think back to the readings. Think about Father’s homily. Or prepare yourself for what is about to come.

Repeat to yourself what Father is saying during the Eucharistic prayers. I admit that I get distracted during the Eucharistic prayers. So much is being said. After the priest says something simply repeat what he says in your head.

Visualize what is being said during the consecration. Imagine Jesus at the Last Supper. Only he is right in front of you saying, “This is my body.”

Appreciate what is going on around you spiritually. Sure, sure, you may be in a church surrounded by your friends and family but much more is going on in the spiritual realm. The mass is a unification of Heaven and Earth. You are in Heaven when you are at mass. It’s more than your wife and kids there with you. There is a giant cloud of saints there with you. Your loved ones who have passed are there with you.

Realize what is about to happen as you walk up to communion. You are about to hold Jesus Christ in your hands. The creator of the universe is about to be put I your hands and you, the created are about to consume the creator.

PRAY! The time after receiving the blessed sacrament is one of the best times to pray. Think of it. Jesus is never closer to you than at this moment. Jesus is literally in you. Thank him. Praise him. Offer him your petitions.

Stay!! Mass isn’t over after communion! There is still a closing prayer!! Don’t be like Judas who left the Last Supper before it was over!! Sing that final song!

Now here is probably the crazy suggestion. Stay after mass and pray some more!! Why rush off?? The parking lot is going to be crazy!! You are not going to get out of there for a good ten minutes anyway.

This list by no means is an end-all list. I’m sure there are hundreds of other tips and suggestions to pay better attention at mass. This list can actually be boiled down to three things: pray, concentrate and realize what a gift we have in the mass. Does anyone else have any ideas? "

by Jeffrey Tucker