Anyone feel like they won't ever get married?

[nablaise]

Sorry, but I have not read all 47 pages…

To the original question, I do feel that same way. Especially since I’m fresh from a relationship where I feel that he lied for a majority of it.
I really thought he was the one, but it turns out I really didn’t know him at all. He was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And then I get hurt yet again…

I always wonder if I will ever find the right one. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. I’m tired of finding all the wrong guys.
I’m 30 now and will be turning 31 in about five months…I’m constantly wondering if I will ever get marrid…
I want someone that I can share my life with and that will support me and share their life with me as well.

Well, as Jesus would say, “do not be afraid!”.
I think what is important is to realise how to firter out possible wrong choices. In ancient times as you know about the stories of Abrahm, Isaac, and Jacob. When it was time for marriage, they will think about looking in people of their own ‘family’ who believe the same God as themselves. For us the equivalent is the CHURCH. Our God is truth and love. Good practicing catholics are likely to be less deceiving. Of course requires us to be practicing ourselves because them too are looking for someone from Home not just by name but by practice.

Again the Lord said “worry about the Kingdom of God and all the rest will be given unto you”. For me I always imagine that I will meet the right one while doing something for God in the Church.

God bless

 

[Morwenna]

Merry Christmas, everyone! Mea culpa for taking so long to get this list updated!

Here is an updated list for those who are praying:
**
Harmony1988 - M20
beckers - F28
ladylinguist - F23
Norseman82 - M
chevalier - M25
Gisella - F
Sierrah - F
JustinL - M
Felicity in TX - F26
azgirl - F35
Cosmo23 - M
lampstand
Morwenna - F39
Alan - M39 (not a CAF screenname)
Trevor - M36 (not a CAF screenname)
bookish - F
CarolAnnSFO - F
agapewolf - F33
Lady Bug - F
Taya (Ambrose) - M23-27
unixfudotnet - M29
catherine m - F34
macian - F23
LSK - F52
Belgarion - M19
Archus - M20
Lady James - F42
Catholic_Kenpo - M34
DL82 - M26
valient Lucy - F24
Wyatt - M20
nef - F20
GraceDK - F26
Leopard3
Kirsty33 - F20
Ankabaranka_87 - F21
John AH - M29
BCven86 - M22
FanofB16 - M30
Andrew Hinkley - M29
MarcoPolo - M33
lottied - F19
Darleen - F (not a CAFscreenname)
Holly3278 - F26
outcast - M16
Epistemes - M
epsummer - F23
Philena - F45
DAPDN - M20
iluvmybabies - F
Ashlyn - F19 (not a CAF screenname)
Cait - F21 (not a CAF screenname)
Justlookingny - F37
Alison - F21
cqdcqdmgy - M30
DanteAlighieri - M
Podo2005 (Zachary) - M27
EstaM - F
zaramarie81 - F
Maria1212 - F32
Southern86 - M22
TLDenmark - M28
LisaForLife - F37
Vinnie L - M39 (not a CAF screenname)
Ron G - M39 (not a CAF screenname)
Lori L - F37 (not a CAF screenname)
Maite H - F37 (not a CAF screenname)
Bryan B - M40 (not a CAF screenname)
Jenny L - F35 (not a CAF screenname)
Jackie M - F62 (not a CAF screenname)
Lori J - F27 (not a CAF screenname)
David L - M41 (not a CAF screenname)
Kevin F - M39 (not a CAF screenname)
Danny W - M38 (not a CAF screenname)
Rosanna - F38 (not a CAF screenname)
Jason S - M37 (not a CAF screenname)
Mortal Man - M38
jivany - M26
AveSantaMaria - F23
all of AveSantaMaria’s single friends (names not given)
geezerbob - M69
Doorbell - M
AlexaD - F24
JPUSC - M22
Roza - F41
passivesquid - M20
TraderTif - F27
CWBetts - M
Magickman - M50s
Bataar -
outcast -
lenni - F
fled -
Condottiero - M
mhuff1 - F30
CliffJumper - M
and all others who are not mentioned**

I am praying for each of us by (screen)name as often as possible.

I am praying that God will make each of us ready for our future spouse (and them ready for us), lead us to each other, and to pour out grace upon us to give us strength and hope while we’re waiting. :heaven:

Thank you to all who are joining in prayer for these intentions. If I’ve missed anyone, or if anyone would like to be added to this list, please post here or send me a PM … same applies to anyone who is on the list and wants to be removed (I certainly don’t want to offend or make anyone uncomfortable!).

May Our Lord bless these intentions, and may the Blessed Virgin Mary and St Joseph intercede for us.

 

[chevalier]

I always wonder if I will ever find the right one. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. I’m tired of finding all the wrong guys.

What have they had in common so far? If they have something in common, maybe that’s the warning zone?

 

[mhuff1]

I know one thing that they’ve all had in common for sure is that they’ve lied and cheated on me. And because of this the thought always crosses my mind whether or not I did something wrong or I’m just not good enough. But my good friends continue to support me and remind me that it’s not me, it’s them and that they don’t deserve me.

The last few have been younger than me. This last one in particular, I thought was quite different than all the rest. I used to love telling the story about how we fell in love. But come to find out, he was just like all the rest…

 

[chevalier]

Hmm… lying and cheating is a consistent factor then, and it seems you like a good, romantic story. And they have been younger than you. Can’t it be that you are simply being taken advantage of by people who are good charmers and not very scrupulous about it? I’ve had awful stories with lies, so I can relate. It seems to me one is the most exposed to being deceived if one wants to believe - but this also happens when one ignores red flags. One girl who lied to me for 9 months I should have dumped on the first day and trust me I had a reason. At this stage, I have a fine lie detector and I’m able to spot a great detail of inconsistency or alarming reaction on instinct… but still if I make a choice to believe someone, I can be deceived. Sometimes we’re too willing a believe a story because it’s nice. Maybe those folks were a bit too suave or had a bit too nice story to be true?

 

[Sierrah]

I have a fine lie detector and I’m able to spot a great detail of inconsistency or alarming reaction on instinct… but still if I make a choice to believe someone, I can be deceived. Sometimes we’re too willing a believe a story because it’s nice. Maybe those folks were a bit too suave or had a bit too nice story to be true?

Yeah my last serious ex was a proficient class A liar. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt but my guard is always up these days. I tend to look more at actions rather than words or how they treat other people.

 

[chevalier]

Yeah my last serious ex was a proficient class A liar. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt but my guard is always up these days. I tend to look more at actions rather than words or how they treat other people.

Yeah, but aren’t we all a bit more noble in word than we are in deed? Except some people get it trained to mastery levels. Then again, probably as a personality disorder rather than a consciously learnt skill. Hmm… don’t you fall for people with issues, like I used to? The femme fatale thing. But I don’t deserve to complain. Several years ago, I would have run away from what I am seeking now. Hope our young readers will be wiser than I was.

Posted on this thread a long time ago and thought I’d check it out again. Loved this post, chevalier. Someone will love all the logic about you, don’t talk it down.

Thanks! Who knows. Last time I went to a dating site, when I launched the search and put in it Catholic, my age +/-2.5, within a foot of my height, the right marital status and close political views, I got a, “try broadening your search.” I remember a similar thing with Facebook’s search utility. But that’s rather fitting.

 

[MarcoPolo]

Yeah my last serious ex was a proficient class A liar. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt but my guard is always up these days. I tend to look more at actions rather than words or how they treat other people.

I have found actions to be invaluable in judging anyone’s character. Patterns are also key. It’s very hard to get to know someone in a visit or two, although there can be red flags.

 

[chevalier]

I have found actions to be invaluable in judging anyone’s character. Patterns are also key. It’s very hard to get to know someone in a visit or two, although there can be red flags.

Part of the problem finding a good candidate and setting things in motion the right way. Many people these days want to set things in motion early because they are just so impatient and on the other hand, it seems the very conservative, traditionalist way is through short engagement, which means either way you end up with someone you barely know. Unless you’re a moderate. I can theoretically imagine myself marrying someone after a single conversation since yes, you can collect the most important data within one hour - it is just that you must meet that kind of person. But the odds in practice are very low. Well now, who cares about the odds anyway.

 

[Trishie]

Praying for you all, and also for Alan, Trevor, Sandra, that God’s love will guide them, and you all who wish, to good, happy marriages

 

[mhuff1]

Hmm… lying and cheating is a consistent factor then, and it seems you like a good, romantic story. And they have been younger than you. Can’t it be that you are simply being taken advantage of by people who are good charmers and not very scrupulous about it? I’ve had awful stories with lies, so I can relate. It seems to me one is the most exposed to being deceived if one wants to believe - but this also happens when one ignores red flags. One girl who lied to me for 9 months I should have dumped on the first day and trust me I had a reason. At this stage, I have a fine lie detector and I’m able to spot a great detail of inconsistency or alarming reaction on instinct… but still if I make a choice to believe someone, I can be deceived. Sometimes we’re too willing a believe a story because it’s nice. Maybe those folks were a bit too suave or had a bit too nice story to be true?

I used to be able to detect lies and cheating…not so much anymore. I had a car accident last year…after that traumatic experience, I’ve noticed that I’ve become quite bitter, negative, and dependant. This is the first time that I’m really alone since then. I was so independant for so long…
The accident changed everything - my priorities especially. And he seemed to come along at the right time. I was falling in love and was ready to spend the rest of my life with him…because I wanted it so bad I think I looked past all the warning signs. But the signs were hard to read when he was telling me all the things that I wanted to hear…

The one thing that I regret about learning from my accident was that it took me so long to realize that God was trying to tell me something…

 

[Cliff_Jumper]

sorry to hear some of you have been having problems with liars. May I suggest the science nerds

 

[Trishie]

Jesus please give healing to those who have been hurt or discouraged by unreliable and unfaithful relationships.

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible,
look kindly upon us, and increase Your mercy in us,
that in difficult moments we might not despair, nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is love and mercy itself. Amen.

 

[Kasenka]

Could I be added to the prayer list? F21. Thanks!

 

[Morwenna]

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Here is an updated list for those who are praying:
**
Harmony1988 - M20
beckers - F28
ladylinguist - F23
Norseman82 - M
chevalier - M25
Gisella - F
Sierrah - F
JustinL - M
Felicity in TX - F26
azgirl - F35
Cosmo23 - M
lampstand
Morwenna - F39
Alan - M39 (not a CAF screenname)
Trevor - M36 (not a CAF screenname)
bookish - F
CarolAnnSFO - F
agapewolf - F33
Lady Bug - F
Taya (Ambrose) - M23-27
unixfudotnet - M29
catherine m - F34
macian - F23
LSK - F52
Belgarion - M19
Archus - M20
Lady James - F42
Catholic_Kenpo - M34
DL82 - M26
valient Lucy - F24
Wyatt - M20
nef - F20
GraceDK - F26
Leopard3
Kirsty33 - F20
Ankabaranka_87 - F21
John AH - M29
BCven86 - M22
FanofB16 - M30
Andrew Hinkley - M29
MarcoPolo - M33
lottied - F19
Darleen - F (not a CAFscreenname)
Holly3278 - F26
outcast - M16
Epistemes - M
epsummer - F23
Philena - F45
DAPDN - M20
iluvmybabies - F
Ashlyn - F19 (not a CAF screenname)
Cait - F21 (not a CAF screenname)
Justlookingny - F37
Alison - F21
cqdcqdmgy - M30
DanteAlighieri - M
Podo2005 (Zachary) - M27
EstaM - F
zaramarie81 - F
Maria1212 - F32
Southern86 - M22
TLDenmark - M28
LisaForLife - F37
Vinnie L - M39 (not a CAF screenname)
Ron G - M39 (not a CAF screenname)
Lori L - F37 (not a CAF screenname)
Maite H - F37 (not a CAF screenname)
Bryan B - M40 (not a CAF screenname)
Jenny L - F35 (not a CAF screenname)
Jackie M - F62 (not a CAF screenname)
Lori J - F27 (not a CAF screenname)
David L - M41 (not a CAF screenname)
Kevin F - M39 (not a CAF screenname)
Danny W - M38 (not a CAF screenname)
Rosanna - F38 (not a CAF screenname)
Jason S - M37 (not a CAF screenname)
Mortal Man - M38
jivany - M26
AveSantaMaria - F23
all of AveSantaMaria’s single friends (names not given)
geezerbob - M69
Doorbell - M
AlexaD - F24
JPUSC - M22
Roza - F41
passivesquid - M20
TraderTif - F27
CWBetts - M
Magickman - M50s
Bataar -
outcast -
lenni - F
fled -
Condottiero - M
mhuff1 - F30
CliffJumper - M
Kasenka - F21
and all others who are not mentioned**

I am praying for each of us by (screen)name as often as possible.

I am praying that God will make each of us ready for our future spouse (and them ready for us), lead us to each other, and to pour out grace upon us to give us strength and hope while we’re waiting. :heaven:

Thank you to all who are joining in prayer for these intentions. If I’ve missed anyone, or if anyone would like to be added to this list, please post here or send me a PM … same applies to anyone who is on the list and wants to be removed (I certainly don’t want to offend or make anyone uncomfortable!).

May Our Lord bless these intentions, and may the Blessed Virgin Mary and St Joseph intercede for us.

 

[Cliff_Jumper]

thank you for your prayers Morwenna. I shall do the same for you.

 

[chevalier]

I used to be able to detect lies and cheating…not so much anymore. I had a car accident last year…after that traumatic experience, I’ve noticed that I’ve become quite bitter, negative, and dependant. This is the first time that I’m really alone since then. I was so independant for so long…
The accident changed everything - my priorities especially. And he seemed to come along at the right time. I was falling in love and was ready to spend the rest of my life with him…because I wanted it so bad I think I looked past all the warning signs. But the signs were hard to read when he was telling me all the things that I wanted to hear…

You need to warm up and cheer up, really. Dark moods and brooding are good for no one. Learn the lesson (if it is one) and move on. Got to shake off the bad feelings or they won’t let you go for a loooong time.

Could I be added to the prayer list? F21. Thanks!

Hey. Would you be Ruthenian? Going by the nickname.

sorry to hear some of you have been having problems with liars. May I suggest the science nerds

Long live science nerds! Few things look better than a dark pony tail on a white lab coat.

 

[lenni]

mm…wow, google eyed at Morwena’s list
i didnt realise the majority of people who have been on this thread are 22 -27yrs. well, yeah true…the age most people marry is usually around there. but i thought there would be a few more 18 and 19yo.
mm…

 

[Morwenna]

thank you for your prayers Morwenna. I shall do the same for you.

You’re a good man, CJ. Thank you!

mm…wow, google eyed at Morwena’s list
i didnt realise the majority of people who have been on this thread are 22 -27yrs. well, yeah true…the age most people marry is usually around there. but i thought there would be a few more 18 and 19yo.
mm…

I’m thinking about changing the list to a double-column format … might be a bit easier on the eyes.

 

[BlueRain]

May I be added to the list as well?

This world really needs more true faithful Catholic couples and families, so I hope our Lord has pity on us and helps us find a good spouse.

But I guess our Lord knows best.

My mom has a saying in Spanish “Ayudate que Yo te ayudare”, it means “Help yourself and I (God) will help you”.
So my mom always says God will help me, but I also have to do my part.

But I really have no idea where to look. I have always been shy, but still I always felt like an outcast in this society.

I will offer all this up tomorrow at Mass and remember all you guys/gals so that we may all be helped and find peace in our lives.