T
Trishie
Guest
Prayer for all on this thread and including for Darleen, who is also searching and hoping for a loving husband.
- Status
M
materdequint
Guest
Sorry - not sure how to quote but I just had to reply to the being single sucks remark, no one to share the workload, no one to decompress with, etc.
I just was thinking, what workload? I have 6 kids. I’d love for the house to get dirty if it was because I did it and if I cleaned it it stayed that way, or if I got ready to go to work in the morning all I had to do was get up and go. Being married isn’t exactly an antidote against loneliness either. There have been many times I have felt closer to my friends than to my spouse.
I just was thinking, what workload? I have 6 kids. I’d love for the house to get dirty if it was because I did it and if I cleaned it it stayed that way, or if I got ready to go to work in the morning all I had to do was get up and go. Being married isn’t exactly an antidote against loneliness either. There have been many times I have felt closer to my friends than to my spouse.
A
agnostic
Guest
I don’t think I’ll ever get married. 
But I’m not exactly crying over that prospect. 
I mean, what guy in his right mind would want to marry someone like me
As said earlier by some very insightful poster, men are seriously overrated
Now, that does not mean I’m opposed to marriage - not at all, I think it’s a great thing - for other people to do
A huge proportion of marriages fail.
A huge amount of married people are unfaithful to their partners.
A huge amount of children born into marriage will end up living with a divorced parent, or in care.
A huge amount of children born into so call loving homes will end up being physically, sexually or emotionally abused.
There’s something seriously wrong with that setup.
BUT - I do actually believe that if the whole marriage thing could be sorted out, it is, in fact, a rather ideal setup to bring up children, and trumps single parenthood. BUT BUT if the choice is single parenthood v. an abusive unloving marital home, then single parenthood wins every time.
But I’m not exactly crying over that prospect. I mean, what guy in his right mind would want to marry someone like me
As said earlier by some very insightful poster, men are seriously overrated
Now, that does not mean I’m opposed to marriage - not at all, I think it’s a great thing - for other people to do
A huge proportion of marriages fail.
A huge amount of married people are unfaithful to their partners.
A huge amount of children born into marriage will end up living with a divorced parent, or in care.
A huge amount of children born into so call loving homes will end up being physically, sexually or emotionally abused.
There’s something seriously wrong with that setup.
BUT - I do actually believe that if the whole marriage thing could be sorted out, it is, in fact, a rather ideal setup to bring up children, and trumps single parenthood. BUT BUT if the choice is single parenthood v. an abusive unloving marital home, then single parenthood wins every time.
A
agapewolf
Guest
And I’m betting you wouldn’t trade your life to be single.
M
materdequint
Guest
I would if it was what God wanted. I actually may ask my husband for a separation when my youngest is 18 to enter the religious life.
N
Norseman82
Guest
You’re joking, right?
I really don’t know of any religious order that would accept someone who got divorced or separated just to join the order.
You may want to consider joining one of the lay orders open to married people - I think they may be called third orders? But this would more properly be a question to post on in the Vocations forum.
M
materdequint
Guest
No I am not kidding. Many early saints did just that. The venerable who wrote City of God describes her parents separating and her mother taking the veil. Her dad became a priest or a monk. You can’t divorce and go do this. Either you must be the innocent party in a permanent separation due to your spouse’s adultery or you may separate with your spouse’s permission and join the religious state. If you are the innocent party in a separation due to adultery, you can do it without your spouse’s permission. If you are the guilty party you can do it only with your spouse’s permission. And if there is no adultery involved, you can only do it with permission of your spouse.
This is referenced in the following quote from a canon law commentary :"d) Impossibility of restoration of common conjugal life
The impossibility of the restoration of common conjugal life is an exceptional situation. This situation occurs when one or both spouses have embraced the religious state, or the man has received Holy Orders. This change of state must be expressly consented to by the innocent spouse. In the situation of a change of state in life on the part of the innocent spouse, no additional authorization is required on the part of the guilty party, given that this party has lost all rights with respect to the other."
I do not think I am called to a third order as I am a first degree member of a ecclesial movement.
This is referenced in the following quote from a canon law commentary :"d) Impossibility of restoration of common conjugal life
The impossibility of the restoration of common conjugal life is an exceptional situation. This situation occurs when one or both spouses have embraced the religious state, or the man has received Holy Orders. This change of state must be expressly consented to by the innocent spouse. In the situation of a change of state in life on the part of the innocent spouse, no additional authorization is required on the part of the guilty party, given that this party has lost all rights with respect to the other."
I do not think I am called to a third order as I am a first degree member of a ecclesial movement.
T
Trishie
Guest
Heavenly Father please grant the prayers of all in this thread who are seeking loving life-partners. Please bring them together soon, as though for You "a thousand years are a single day, a yesterday now over, an hour of the night.” [Psalm 90:4] for those waiting for the right person to love and be loved by, a day can be a thousand years!
I ask this in the name of Jesus.
I ask this in the name of Jesus.
H
Holly3278
Guest
I feel like this all the time, especially since my boyfriend broke up with me last night. I am 26 years old. All of my sisters are younger than me. The one sister is 18 and the other is 24. They are both married and have been for at least a year. I feel like I will never get married and it deeply saddens me. 
S
snowgarden
Guest
I never felt that I wouldn’t get married until after age 40. From grade school, I KNEW that God called me to the married vocation. I prepared for this life with my future husband and children. Unfortunately I was socially inept and not able to even attract a man even though I tried to be friendly, kind and interesting. In my mid-40’s, I became aware that it wouldn’t be (the children part at least); now I don’t expect even a late in life romance. This is a very painful subject when I try to talk to my mother or sister; they think I didn’t really try; that anyone can get anyone if they try. It just came to them; they didn’t have to try. I did try and I couldn’t make it happen. Was I wrong about the vocation call? I don’t think so; either I am reaping my “just punishments” for what ever weaknesses or failings I have that caused me to be not a person of interest or, as I like to think, God wanted me to be domestically prepared to take care of my parents and sibling’s children so he let me have this dream of my own family as a comfort in my fertile years; otherwise, if I had no hope of my own family, I may have just been career minded, uninterested in putting other family member’s needs above self and emotionally cold as another unmarried aunt of mine who was in the same position turned out to be. I’m no saint, but my unencumbered life seems to have ultimately served His purposes.
H
Holly3278
Guest
I am glad that your life has turned out to ultimately serve God’s purposes. My being single does not seem to have served God’s purposes. I want so much to be married some day but I know that this may not be God’s will for me and to me, that really sucks. Anyway, please pray for me that I would find my soulmate.
B
Belgarion
Guest
I respect that, but I think you feel that way for the wrong reasons…I don’t think I’ll ever get married.
I mean, what guy in his right mind would want to marry someone like me
As said earlier by some very insightful poster, men are seriously overrated
Now, that does not mean I’m opposed to marriage - not at all, I think it’s a great thing - for other people to do
True, but then again a huge proportion of the world does things the wrong way.
Because a huge amount of married people don’t have the proper understanding of marriage and haven’t properly developed their relationship with each other. Also, the mindset of thier previous dating experiences has trained them to always look for someone new.
Again, blame the parents. You’d rather have the child simply not exist?
Because people can be sick and this statistic is not a “Huge amount”. Again, you’re facing a problem with the parent’s upbringing.
Its not the setup that’s wrong, its the people.
If you grow up without the rock that is the Church (or even if you view the Church as boring and don’t integrate it into your life) then you are just training yourself for some kind of marital issue. if you have no moral standard (or a relaxed one) then of course you’re just going to do what you feel like doing.
However, you grow up with discipline, and maturity (which can come from the Church, or just good parents) then you will view Marriage for what it is. You will strive to not only work things out, but you will also find the right kind of person to marry. Because to you, marriage isn’t something that can be dissolved. If you’re truly going to be with someone forever, then you better make the right choice.
Get to know your “beloved” correctly to make sure they are who they seem to be. If anything, there’s something wrong with dating, not marriage.
T
Trishie
Guest
Heavenly Father please grant the prayers of all in this thread who are seeking loving life-partners. Please bring them together soon, as though for You "a thousand years are a single day, a yesterday now over, an hour of the night.” [Psalm 90:4] for those waiting for the right person to love and be loved by, a day can be a thousand years!
I ask this in the name of Jesus.
I ask this in the name of Jesus.
E
estesbob
Guest
Thank you for bringing this thread back on topic. It is very sad that a thread that for the most part hasbeen about prayerful support for people wishing to get married has now been derailed into discussions on the problems of marriage in general .
Heavenly father I to pray that you give comfort to all those who feel a calling to enter into holy matrimony but not yet found the partner do so. Lord help guide them the person you have chosen for their spouse . Let these prayers be heard in your presence for they are offered through Christ our Lord.
T
Trishie
Guest
Amen
T
Trishie
Guest
Heavenly Father please grant the prayers of all in this thread who are seeking loving life-partners. Please bring them together soon, as though for You "a thousand years are a single day, a yesterday now over, an hour of the night.” [Psalm 90:4] for those waiting for the right person to love and be loved by, a day can be a thousand years!
I ask this in the name of Jesus.
I ask this in the name of Jesus.
M
MrDelight
Guest
I’ve been hurt two times already when I was in a serious relationship, twice bitten twice shy I think the meaning goes.
Because I ended up getting hurt after remaining faithful and
giving my all I have opted to stay single for the rest of my life.
No more getting hurt for me.
Barry
Because I ended up getting hurt after remaining faithful and
giving my all I have opted to stay single for the rest of my life.
No more getting hurt for me.
Barry
L
lottied
Guest
awww, Barry that’s horrible, i really pray that the Lord would heal your hurt and that he would give you someone whom you can trust and who will love you for the amazing person that God created!
God bless you
God bless you
T
Trishie
Guest
Heavenly Father please grant the prayers of all in this thread who are seeking loving life-partners. Please bring them together soon, as though for You "a thousand years are a single day, a yesterday now over, an hour of the night.” [Psalm 90:4] for those waiting for the right person to love and be loved by, a day can be a thousand years!
I ask this in the name of Jesus.
I ask this in the name of Jesus.
H
Harmony1988
Guest
Praying a rosary now for everyone.
- Status