Anyone feel like they won't ever get married?

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Dating sites may work for some, but I don’t trust them, either.

I don’t like the idea of just meeting someone like that and it just seems weird to me.

I’m content with meeting people in person.
 
Hey,

I am only another single guy, near sixty,and without immediate prospects of marriage.

Absolutely, I mean no disrespect to the other single folks.

The idea I wish to convey is that we are all responsible for our own lives.

If we wish to change the conditions of our lives, then we have to find ways to do so. The means of change include, as I previously wrote, all available resources.

Maybe some singles are distrustful of the Internet, as a vehicle for meeting others. OK, they should utilize other means.

But I find fault with those who only complain, and do not take positive action steps, to improve their situations.

If you don’t like being single, then do something about it. Find a way to mitigate your singleness.

Don’t complain to me. Do something about it.
 
Sierrah said:
I’m pretty much just resigned myself to being single these days. There’s not much else I can do really. It does get hard during the holidays though but then I remind myself that if it’s meant to be it will be. 🤷 I still have my days though. Last week I saw a Mom playing with her little girl at the store and started crying when I got into the parking lot. It’s kind weird how little stuff like that gets you sometimes at the oddest moments. :eek: :rolleyes:
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I completely understand.

SO MANY little things just get to you.
Seeing a piece of Mistletoe, a couple holding hands in Church…romance movies, married family members etc.

I know feeling that way is not the best thing…but man does it suck.

Magickman: If you don’t like the complaining, don’t read the thread. That’s pretty much the point of it:p
 
Magickman said:
I think you would search and look, submit applications, use your social and professional networks, research the Internet, and devote your time and energy to the task.

See what I mean? The full aplication of all available resources can work wonders. If we try hard enough, great challenges may be surmounted.
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If it were only that simple.
 
Hi everyone
It seems to me that a lot of us are wallowing in self pity, even taking it a step further, asking God accusingly where he is in our singleness and why he can’t just make us happy, make life easier and find us a partner.
Perhaps it would help to take a step back and consider how Christ has been working in your life this year, the many times he has blessed you, giving you a glimpse of heaven.
Perhaps you should think back to those times when you truely put all your trust in him and the wonderful fruits that came about because of it.
Perhaps we should remember that God’s thoughts are above our thoughts, his ways far above our ways and that everything he does is good- that he is love and so we will only find completion, ‘our other half’ with him.
Then, take a moment to renew your trust in him
Think about the enormity of what Christ has done, the millions of ways he lavishes his love upon us- how he longs to give us joy, peace- if we would listen to him and not to our own grumbling.
The single life can be hard, undoubtedly, but don’t you think Christ knows and experiences with you everything you go through?
 
Norseman82 said:
If it were only that simple.
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Yeah, you’re right.
its not.

Because if you’re qualified, you’re boss doesn’t have to like or Love you.

You can’t apply the same thing in this era. This isn’t a Victorian age and society.
 
Magickman said:
If you don’t like being single, then do something about it. Find a way to mitigate your singleness.

Don’t complain to me. Do something about it.
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We have been, but to no avail. We need the official Church’s help with this.
 
Kirsty33 said:
Hi everyone
It seems to me that a lot of us are wallowing in self pity, even taking it a step further, asking God accusingly where he is in our singleness and why he can’t just make us happy, make life easier and find us a partner.
Perhaps it would help to take a step back and consider how Christ has been working in your life this year, the many times he has blessed you, giving you a glimpse of heaven.
Perhaps you should think back to those times when you truely put all your trust in him and the wonderful fruits that came about because of it.
Perhaps we should remember that God’s thoughts are above our thoughts, his ways far above our ways and that everything he does is good- that he is love and so we will only find completion, ‘our other half’ with him.
Then, take a moment to renew your trust in him
Think about the enormity of what Christ has done, the millions of ways he lavishes his love upon us- how he longs to give us joy, peace- if we would listen to him and not to our own grumbling.
The single life can be hard, undoubtedly, but don’t you think Christ knows and experiences with you everything you go through?
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Yeah, that really helps :rolleyes:

Please read James 2:15-16 (bolded emphasis mine):

“If a brother or sister has nothing to wear and no food for the day, and you say to them ‘Good-bye and good luck! Keep warm and well-fed,’ but do not meet their bodily needs, what good is that?”

Additionally, in Acts 6, when the Greek-speaking widows complained about being neglected, did the apostles mock them by saying they were wallowing in self-pity, or tell them to step back and take note of their blessings, or that they are not putting their trust in Christ enough and that God’s ways are not our ways?
 
Norseman82 said:
Maybe that’s the whole problem. We need to get back to those times.
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No.
Marrying someone you Love is the way to go. Not just for yourself, but for your children.

Without love between husband and wife, children will be raised poorly.

Plus, society isn’t limited by gender anymore. A woman can work for herself, she doesn’t need a husband to work for her if she is to simply LIVE.

The Victorian age idea of marrying was simply practical. And its not an ideal thing for anyone. We marry for life and Love.
 
Belgarion said:
No.
Marrying someone you Love is the way to go. Not just for yourself, but for your children.

Without love between husband and wife, children will be raised poorly.

Plus, society isn’t limited by gender anymore. A woman can work for herself, she doesn’t need a husband to work for her if she is to simply LIVE.

The Victorian age idea of marrying was simply practical. And its not an ideal thing for anyone. We marry for life and Love.
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I think we strayed off course here.

I think the point Magickman was making was to apply the principles and efforts we put into finding a job and use those to find a spouse.
 
Norseman82 said:
I think we strayed off course here.

I think the point Magickman was making was to apply the principles and efforts we put into finding a job and use those to find a spouse.
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Using that point won’t work either.

If you put forth the same effort into finding a spouse as you do with your job…you aren’t guaranteed success.

There is definitely a lot more that can go wrong in a marriage than in a job. And effort won’t matter if there’s no one that fits you or no one can feel love like that for you.

It depends. Sure he has a point in putting forth effort…but don’t act like that’ll fix everything,
 
Belgarion said:
Using that point won’t work either.

If you put forth the same effort into finding a spouse as you do with your job…you aren’t guaranteed success.

There is definitely a lot more that can go wrong in a marriage than in a job. And effort won’t matter if there’s no one that fits you or no one can feel love like that for you.

It depends. Sure he has a point in putting forth effort…but don’t act like that’ll fix everything,
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Yes, which is why I responded to him by saying “If it were only that simple”.
 
The Victorian era was far less pure than popular notion makes out to believe. Humans have always been a touch deviant, and history shows us this well.

As for single-ness… I remember the feeling. It was lonely. I remember praying for a significant other. It is quite annoying when you have people with lovers, but you can’t seem to find one. I thought myself unloveable [romantically] by the people I knew once [then again, I was an angsty teenager… assumed that I’d sign up for AveMariaSingles when I was 18 and all my problems would go away :rolleyes:].

I suppose in theory I could post here. While I do have a significant other, he does sorta live in Britain. Makes it a bit hard to go on dates 😛 *. Not exactly don’t feel like I won’t be married, but there’s a level of annoyance that goes along with an ocean. And I do remember the single life, even if it was only being an angsty teen.

As for the internet- it isn’t all that bad. Dating sites, they might be an iffy lot, but there are Catholic sites. And I know y’all trust the 'net at least a little- we sit on these forums all day! :D*
 
Kirsty33 said:
Hi everyone
It seems to me that a lot of us are wallowing in self pity, even taking it a step further, asking God accusingly where he is in our singleness and why he can’t just make us happy, make life easier and find us a partner.
Perhaps it would help to take a step back and consider how Christ has been working in your life this year, the many times he has blessed you, giving you a glimpse of heaven.
Perhaps you should think back to those times when you truely put all your trust in him and the wonderful fruits that came about because of it.
Perhaps we should remember that God’s thoughts are above our thoughts, his ways far above our ways and that everything he does is good- that he is love and so we will only find completion, ‘our other half’ with him.
Then, take a moment to renew your trust in him
Think about the enormity of what Christ has done, the millions of ways he lavishes his love upon us- how he longs to give us joy, peace- if we would listen to him and not to our own grumbling.
The single life can be hard, undoubtedly, but don’t you think Christ knows and experiences with you everything you go through?
Click to expand...
i guess i thought this was a place i could talk about the stuggles of being single. Its not i like with the consant feelings of “woo me…i am single”… I actaully very rarely talk to any of my friends about it. They are all married or in relationship. I don’t want them to feel sorry for me because i don’t feel sorry for myself. I know that i am single for some reason. At the moment its due to school. As i said i could be dating but it would for the wrong reason and with men who don’t believe in God. I would rather wait then rush into something and end up in a bad marriage. Better to be single then to tell god “you know what i don’t trust you so i am going to take it into my own hands”.
 
Norseman82 said:
Yeah, that really helps :rolleyes:

Please read James 2:15-16 (bolded emphasis mine):

“If a brother or sister has nothing to wear and no food for the day, and you say to them ‘Good-bye and good luck! Keep warm and well-fed,’ but do not meet their bodily needs, what good is that?”

Additionally, in Acts 6, when the Greek-speaking widows complained about being neglected, did the apostles mock them by saying they were wallowing in self-pity, or tell them to step back and take note of their blessings, or that they are not putting their trust in Christ enough and that God’s ways are not our ways?
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So sorry no mocking intended, just some upward gazing (I’m single too so a lot was directed at self)
God Bless
 
thank you for that thought. Then was when I was wondering if ever. Today, I realize that it isn’t time for me (us) as we are still going through some obsticles in life that we need to take kare of before we are blessed.

And it is so true that it is not at our time but at his time.

I have more patience than I ever did …Thank you again Kirsty33.

God Bless
 
To get back to the original point of the post, I was terribly worried that I would never get married. I went on avemariasingles & catholicmatch and went to a Catholic singles conference all to no avail.

I finally got to the point where I’d resigned myself to the possibility that God’s plan for me did not include marriage. I started praying to Him that if it were possible I would love to be married, but if not that He would help me find my vocation and live a worthy live of service to Him. My wonderful parish priest was also saying prayers for me.

I started volunteering through my local Catholic Community Services. Finally at age 36, in the middle of a novena my sister and I were doing to St. Anthony that I would get married, I started dating a wonderful man. We had been casual friends for about 5 years. A month and a half after starting dating we were engaged and four months later we were married. I became pregnant right away and we now have a wonderful little girl!

My husband is not Catholic but he agreed to be married in the Church and to raise our children Catholic. He also attends mass with me.

My biggest piece of advice is: It’s impossible to not feel down in the dumps. And you can’t make yourself cheer up. You need to pray pray pray and stay very close to the Lord and the Sacraments. Especially if that special someone does not show up and you remain single. The last thing you want is to be despondent.

Hope that helps!
 
beckers said:
I understand the red heads and their nature. I would help you out but your too late for my sister. She is engaged to be married in Feb. but lives up to ever standrd of a red head. Love her to death!

As far as any of us giving up on marriage. I agree. I am done with it for now. I am going to focus on God and school and hope that I can live up to one of my favorite phrases…“A woman’s heart must be buried so deeply in Christ that a man must seek Christ to find it”
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Thanks for that quote!!! I, too, will live by it.
 
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