Anyone feel like they won't ever get married?

[Trishie]

Heavenly Father please grant the prayers of all in this thread who are seeking loving life-partners. Please bring them together soon, as though for You "a thousand years are a single day, a yesterday now over, an hour of the night.” [Psalm 90:4] for those waiting for the right person to love and be loved by, a day can be a thousand years!
I ask this in the name of Jesus

 

[Salonika]

Norseman:

that’s the whole problem. We need to get back to those times.

Belgarion in response:

The Victorian age idea of marrying was simply practical. And its not an ideal thing for anyone. We marry for life and Love.

Return to the Victoria era - but what about the feelings about and status of the unmarried in that time. Especially the pity and derision for the “poor spinster”.

What about the women (and men to a lesser extent) who were expected to give up any prospect of marriage, and do their duty, until they had finished caring for their elderly relatives and by then were too old too have a family of their own.

Plus those who took on raising the families of their deceased siblings or were the resident maiden aunt or bachelor uncle in the house.

Think the chances are better now for the unmarried who want to marry now than in Victorian times.

 

[Belgarion]

Return to the Victoria era - but what about the feelings about and status of the unmarried in that time. Especially the pity and derision for the “poor spinster”.

What about the women (and men to a lesser extent) who were expected to give up any prospect of marriage, and do their duty, until they had finished caring for their elderly relatives and by then were too old too have a family of their own.

Plus those who took on raising the families of their deceased siblings or were the resident maiden aunt or bachelor uncle in the house.

Think the chances are better now for the unmarried who want to marry now than in Victorian times.

I agree!

Its not helpful to return to the Victorian ways. Well…in manners and chivalry maybe…but not in marriage customs etc.

That is weird enough to even THINK about…

 

[Sierrah]

Return to the Victoria era - but what about the feelings about and status of the unmarried in that time. Especially the pity and derision for the “poor spinster”.

What about the women (and men to a lesser extent) who were expected to give up any prospect of marriage, and do their duty, until they had finished caring for their elderly relatives and by then were too old too have a family of their own.

Plus those who took on raising the families of their deceased siblings or were the resident maiden aunt or bachelor uncle in the house.

Think the chances are better now for the unmarried who want to marry now than in Victorian times.

Anyone who lived in Victorian times had many of the same problems we do now. Brothels for example were everywhere and the gentleman that frequented these places were merely looked on as “doing what men will” with no consequences socially. Women were told to just look that other way and affairs and mistress were looked on as a given. Women had 2 choices. Marry or teach. Men could do just about whatever they wanted…no thank you I’ll stay in the 20th century. Oh by the way many married for love but it was a risky proposition for women because as soon as she was married a women lost all claim and ownership rights to her money, land and children. She became the property of her husband according to the law. He could beat her, drag her across country, take away her children …all but kill her. Divorces were hard to get and almost unheard of. So I don’t think marriage back then was any easier just different. Most men did love and support thier wives: Lincoln, Grant, Lee, Washington, John Adams, Mark Twain, Thomas Jefferson…were all known to have greatly loved and respected their wives even asking their advice. Lincoln and Mary Todd is a great example. I doubt he would have made it to the presidency without her polical savvy.

 

[Trishie]

Holy Spirit please bring together as couples those whom You wish, by whatever wonderful means You can.

 

[Cliff_Jumper]

thank you Trishie

 

[Marsha_Adams]

When I was in college I often felt that I would** never **find anyone to marry and I really REALLY wanted to get married…

Now, 58 and still single, I have to say “Yup, I was right about that.”

The difference is that now I am really glad that I never found anyone to marry. My life has been filled with wonderful things that I don’t believe would have ever happened if I had a husband. Also watching many of my peers’ marriages, my response is often, “Thank you, God, for sparing me that.”

Lonely young folks with rioting hormones probably won’t believe me when I say this, but at least comfort yourself with the possibility that I have grown to be a happy single, until you either marry or get passed it.

 

[Trishie]

Well Marsha, I guess your post is reassuring for some! I know very happy single persons also! My best friend is one.
For the others, may God hear your prayers for a loving spouse.

 

[celticcrusader]

I can also tell you being single is not so bad after a while, when I was young I thought I should get married .But due to my political & religious convictions at the time it was not feasable to be married. now at 52 looking back I think I would do nothing different. God’s plan for everyone is different and He will give you what you need to get through.

 

[Trishie]

Thank you also for your reassurance to single people. May God give all the needed graces to those who remain single
…but I ask You, Lord, for loving spouses for those who cannot bear to be alone.

 

[Magickman]

As a young bachelor, I believed that only women not previously married would make suitable spouses.

Still a bachelor, in my fifties, (no longer young) there are almost no unmarried women left, in my age range.

Now, the only single women seem to be divorced, and they usually want divorced men.

Would it be the worst thing, to marry a divorced woman?

I understand the theological impediment, and my question seeks answers on a more practical plane.

 

[Marsha_Adams]

As a young bachelor, I believed that only women not previously married would make suitable spouses.

Still a bachelor, in my fifties, (no longer young) there are almost no unmarried women left, in my age range.

Now, the only single women seem to be divorced, and they usually want divorced men.

Would it be the worst thing, to marry a divorced woman?

I understand the theological impediment, and my question seeks answers on a more practical plane.

As I mentioned, I am 58 and have never married. So there are some single women out there in your age group. The problem is that they may not want to marry at this point in life. Regarding divorced women, that is probably a reason that they are divorced that would preclude them from being good marriage material (if divorced only once it could be the spouse was at fault, divorced more than one, be careful.)

The good news, is that you are reaching the age where widows are going to be more plentiful and many of them may be looking for husbands.

 

[Bataar]

Due to my Asperger’s Disorder, I don’t like socializing and meeting people. I’d like to be in a relationship, but can’t see myself getting in one.

 

[outcast]

for me i’m like always dead tired every second of my life no matter what the occasin. so basically i have no energy whatsover for talking and socializing . the whole thing just drains me.

 

[Trishie]

Then I ask the Lord to give you a fulfilling and happy life…and that if possible, someone who is gentle of spirit will find you!

 

[chevalier]

Magickman, it’s not just theology. Marrying a divorced person (assuming we aren’t talking about someone unbaptised) is marrying a married person. Even the practical implications of that do not really ring happy.

Speaking of, I’m more and more conscious of the fact that at this age I’m now in, you’ve got to look at the finger. It feels like a while ago I was about 18 and any girl marrying at that point was like a fairy tale princess. Now it’s 25, 26 in four months, it doesn’t feel like that was so long ago - that or the student situation where they were generally umarried. Now ooops - after uni wedding rings have sprung up aplenty. You can’t really walk up and chat up any more, you have to mind whether she’s married. Perhaps that’s a good thing, who knows.

On a lighter note, I was visiting my father yesterday and my sister with her boyfriend was there also. The topic finally reached marriage and related matters. Somehow it came to me. I probably joked about not having the kind of problems they did. And then dad said, “You still have five years. If you’re single by the age of 30, I will have to take matters in my own hands,” “…” “And lead you to the right place.” “Jesuit novitiate?” I produced a tongue-in-cheek reply. “No,” he replied. Then my sister interrupted with a smartass line and dad said, “I’ve singled out one, but I don’t know how to get down to it.” I was like, “what the…?” but kept a poker face. Sister started asking questions. Dad let it on a bit, “Châtaine [between a blonde and a brunette]… Tall…” I was like, “What else does he know?” Sister asked more, dad wasn’t willing to tell, the gentleman that he is. I said, “Dad, if I were you and had a son like that, I wouldn’t do that to any woman.” He then said, “Oh, she could cope with you.” I was like, “Err… Do I really want to go there…” imagining the kind of personality that’d take. But I wonder. Lol…

 

[Marsha_Adams]

for me i’m like always dead tired every second of my life no matter what the occasin. so basically i have no energy whatsover for talking and socializing . the whole thing just drains me.

Outcast:

Unless you have a strenuous job, constant fatigue could easily be a form of depression. Perhaps if you spoke to someone and it did turn out to be depression your tiredness could be illeviated and you would feel more social.

just a thought,
Marsha

 

[Marsha_Adams]

Due to my Asperger’s Disorder, I don’t like socializing and meeting people. I’d like to be in a relationship, but can’t see myself getting in one.

Bataar:

Are there any Asperger Support Groups near you? Perhaps in such an environment you might meet people more sensitive to your disorder.

Marsha

 

[Trishie]

Father, in Jesus’ name please give confidence and means for those who are painfully shy or unable to find someone with whom to share their life. Please have compassion on lonely and discouraged people

 

[Belgarion]

Ya know…out of simple curiosity, I made a profile on Catholicmatch.com
Its kinda weird doing something like that!

but it was only to see who else is out there. After all, I have this wonderful woman I have my eyes on, but as many know , things aren’t progressing the way I’d like.

So, I was just looking. I found one of my friends was one of my matches! LOL! And she’s like 2 years older than me!!
anyways, there’s not much to go on in there…I suppose I would have to talk to somene before I decide that there’s no reason for me to be looking elsewhere.
I’m pretty darn sure that there will be no one out there for me…
and I mean that in a good way…for some reason…I just know everything will work out here.