Anyone feel like they won't ever get married?

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Norseman82 said:
WORST ADVICE EVER!

It is the MALE’s role to PURSUE. All talk like this does is push a male back into his shell, and may undo any progress made in overcoming shyness or developing social skills.
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I think you are misunderstanding her.

I believe she means that I should wait until God puts the right woman in my life. Sure, pursuit is up to me, but I shouldn’t go around dating every woman I meet in an incredibly active search for “the one”.
I mean, I believe I have already found “the one”…so I don’t believe I need to wait anyways…But you cannot call that the worst advice ever.
Your lack of faith is disturbing…(lol) God is the author of love and the one who knows who we are destined for. Trying to reject that will only lead to unhappiness.
And then you have Sierrah posting about men waiting too long:
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Well, duh, of course they waited until their fifties - because they swallowed this bad advice given under “color of religion”!
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These are the mind games singles faced by singles today.
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Come on people, ONE OR THE OTHER!
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YOU CAN’T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS!!!
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I’m not sure how to take this.

Though it does seem like you are bashing relationship advice given from a religious persepective.

Well, that’s not good.
I’m guessing that you yourself have had quite a hard time finding the right one, and have had a miserable time with that. You cannot believe there is any outside force affecting your love life at least, because you haven’t gotten what you want yet. So obviously you’ve concluded that having any sort of patience is wrong, since you yourself have lost all of your own.

It doesn’t sound like you are handling your vocation very well.

So please, don’t try to ruin it for others because of your own views of “fair” and “unfair”.
 
Belgarion said:
I think you are misunderstanding her.

I believe she means that I should wait until God puts the right woman in my life. Sure, pursuit is up to me, but I shouldn’t go around dating every woman I meet in an incredibly active search for “the one”.
I mean, I believe I have already found “the one”…so I don’t believe I need to wait anyways…But you cannot call that the worst advice ever.
Your lack of faith is disturbing…(lol) God is the author of love and the one who knows who we are destined for. Trying to reject that will only lead to unhappiness.

I’m not sure how to take this.

Though it does seem like you are bashing relationship advice given from a religious persepective.

Well, that’s not good.
I’m guessing that you yourself have had quite a hard time finding the right one, and have had a miserable time with that. You cannot believe there is any outside force affecting your love life at least, because you haven’t gotten what you want yet. So obviously you’ve concluded that having any sort of patience is wrong, since you yourself have lost all of your own.

It doesn’t sound like you are handling your vocation very well.

So please, don’t try to ruin it for others because of your own views of “fair” and “unfair”.
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I think you didn’t read the posts I was responding to.

One minute we’re bashed if we don’t wait, the next we’re bashed if we waited too long. Mind games, pure and simple. It’s not about faith. Bottom line: a Catholic male serious about the faith just can’t catch a break.

Your profile says you’re only 19, right? Maybe you should try to walk in the shoes of those of us who are more experienced in life and who’ve had to put up with these mind games from people who claim to be our brothers and sisters in Christ before taking cheap jabs at how well we handle our vocations. The day may come when you, sir, wake up and realize that all this bad and contradictory advice you followed got you nowhere, and you are going to be looking for understanding hearts, but instead will find people belittling your situation by insisting that it is your lack of faith.
 
Norseman82 said:
I think you didn’t read the posts I was responding to.

One minute we’re bashed if we don’t wait, the next we’re bashed if we waited too long. Mind games, pure and simple. It’s not about faith. Bottom line: a Catholic male serious about the faith just can’t catch a break.

Your profile says you’re only 19, right? Maybe you should try to walk in the shoes of those of us who are more experienced in life and who’ve had to put up with these mind games from people who claim to be our brothers and sisters in Christ before taking cheap jabs at how well we handle our vocations. The day may come when you, sir, wake up and realize that all this bad and contradictory advice you followed got you nowhere, and you are going to be looking for understanding hearts, but instead will find people belittling your situation by insisting that it is your lack of faith.
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Both Lenni and Belgarion happens to be catholic singles like yourself, no reason to snap at them. Anyway I do get your point, and agree that we should not believe in a micromanaging matchmaker God. We have free will, and as such it is our responsibility to use our God-giving graces to do something about our single situation.

God bless you
TL
 
Norseman82 said:
I think you didn’t read the posts I was responding to.

One minute we’re bashed if we don’t wait, the next we’re bashed if we waited too long. Mind games, pure and simple. It’s not about faith. Bottom line: a Catholic male serious about the faith just can’t catch a break.

Your profile says you’re only 19, right? Maybe you should try to walk in the shoes of those of us who are more experienced in life and who’ve had to put up with these mind games from people who claim to be our brothers and sisters in Christ before taking cheap jabs at how well we handle our vocations. The day may come when you, sir, wake up and realize that all this bad and contradictory advice you followed got you nowhere, and you are going to be looking for understanding hearts, but instead will find people belittling your situation by insisting that it is your lack of faith.
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Do not both ideas have merit?

They do, but its up to you and your free will to answer the call you re given

If you wait too long, then the trail runs cold and things get harder.

If you try to rush things and don’t wait long enough, your impatience is trying to run things God runs things, and He has His own time.
The time where things are “just right” will vary for every person. Which is where your own judgment comes in, and where you pray and ask for God’s guidance.

BOTH Lenni and Sierrah have solid, and truthful points.

You seem to be holding a grudge towards these points though. So no one will be able to change your mind. Your bitterness clouds your judgment of other people’s advice. I believe that you are all about free will, but what you don’t understand is that you can want or try to get something, and still not get it.

let’s say I’m looking for a woman who meets my criteria. I could search the world and put millions of dollars towards my goal, and still not get it But then suddenly, this women shows up and is perfect for me THAT is God’s will in action.

Likewise, you can wait around, with complete hope that God will bring her to you. God gives you the chance, and you think He’ll do all the work for you and you miss out

As I said, both are correct. But everyone is different.

They do not contradict, because of this.

And yes, I am 19. But you should never judge a person’s understanding by his age.
And I’m not making cheap jabs, I’m making observations based on your argument. HOwever, it must be true if you react like this
 
Originally Posted by Harmony1988:
Just as the thread title says. Also, some married people now, did you have such thoughts when you were younger. I do not mean this in a way such as a vocation regarding celibacy, but rather that they won’t ever find someone and doomed to live a single life.

Of course this depends on whether you feel the ‘single life’ is ‘doom’ - Personally, for me, I do.
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by peregrinus_WA in reply:
I would not call it doomed. I have chosen the single life for various reasons and I am happier for it.
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And so am I.
 
Sigh. Sometimes I wonder about the probability of finding someone agreeable through those dating sites - and considering that technology is just a medium, I wonder how this relates to face value compared to whole picture in real life. Today I’ve noticed that the more information is provided, the less likely I am to click the matching button (whatever be its caption), excepting only those cases where there’s next to no info. For example you take a look at a very inspiring photo, well-made, in all ways decent and somewhat artistic in touch. You click more photos and soon you find a party picture that makes you reach for the skip button, or some other such thing. That in turn makes you wonder how many of those other profiles would contain similar material if they contained any more than they do. It’s not like real life is error-proof for that. Sure, you have more data to analyse, but you also have more hum.
 
Norseman82 said:
WORST ADVICE EVER!

It is the MALE’s role to PURSUE. All talk like this does is push a male back into his shell, and may undo any progress made in overcoming shyness or developing social skills.
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ah, i c why i was mentioned in the previous posts…
i was referring to waiting for the one!!! Besides, God does have it all sorted out in regards to both time and place. i dont get why, you would go out and pretty much just grab the nearest girl. well, thats what i was referring too. and yes, i do understand that the male’s role is to pursue the female - but making yourself socially available does not mean dating every girl in site. don’t you have any female friends?? I think in fact, it makes a guy more cautious and more careful in the way of choosing their future spouse - by letting God take over. I mean - God is the one who discerns one’s vocation. why just give up on him after that??

o and FYI, i think i do understand Belgarion’s situation considering that I do know a little more info about this girl.
so just let it happen when it happens. and never underestimate time.
and besides - so what if he is young?? you could end up being a 40yr old virgin.(soz, for the double meaning - but it is true). so how does that compare?? and besides, you dont need to experience it all to know what to tell someone. You can work of anybody else’s true experience.
 
Norseman82 said:
WORST ADVICE EVER!

It is the MALE’s role to PURSUE. All talk like this does is push a male back into his shell, and may undo any progress made in overcoming shyness or developing social skills.

And then you have Sierrah posting about men waiting too long:

Well, duh, of course they waited until their fifties - because they swallowed this bad advice given under “color of religion”!

These are the mind games singles faced by singles today.

Come on people, ONE OR THE OTHER!

YOU CAN’T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS!!!
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You must be attatched, because I am tired of oersuing only to be rejected EVERY SINGLE TIME
 
Lenni: you are awesome and right on track.
CWBetts said:
You must be attatched, because I am tired of oersuing only to be rejected EVERY SINGLE TIME
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I don’t think he is attached. He appears to be bitter about his own life situation. So he’s pretty much lashing out at anything that either reminds him of his situation, or reminds him of the advice he got that LED to his situation.
 
Gah. I only managed to read the first two pages before feeling a whole lot better and a lot less like it was just me.

I had been dating this girl from the time I was a senior in High School until I proposed to her when I was 24, and when we called off our engagement/relationship a year later I kind of languished for a while before getting back in the pool, as it were. I’ve dated a few girls since, but it still feels like I’m never going to find a that good Catholic girl to, ahem ‘share a vocation with.’ ;^)

Thanks you, guys and gals, for the relating of your own stories. :^)
 
Condottiero said:
Gah. I only managed to read the first two pages before feeling a whole lot better and a lot less like it was just me.

I had been dating this girl from the time I was a senior in High School until I proposed to her when I was 24, and when we called off our engagement/relationship a year later I kind of languished for a while before getting back in the pool, as it were. I’ve dated a few girls since, but it still feels like I’m never going to find a that good Catholic girl to, ahem ‘share a vocation with.’ ;^)

Thanks you, guys and gals, for the relating of your own stories. :^)
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Yeah and everyone I know is hooked up already. I know of three couples this month…🤷

I feel like I’m waiting in an endless line some days. But really right now I’d just be happy with a date. The last guy I liked decided he liked my friend better…:eek: Oh well back in line I go. :rolleyes: 😃 😉
 
Sierrah said:
Yeah and everyone I know is hooked up already. I know of three couples this month…🤷

I feel like I’m waiting in an endless line some days. But really right now I’d just be happy with a date. The last guy I liked decided he liked my friend better…:eek: Oh well back in line I go. :rolleyes: 😃 😉
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I feel you. I go and do things with female friends, but I honestly cannot remeber when my last real date was
 
CWBetts said:
I feel you. I go and do things with female friends, but I honestly cannot remeber when my last real date was
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My last date was in May of 2008. At lthis rate I’ll be married by the time I’m 190 😃 :confused: :rolleyes: :eek:
 
Feel like this today, so I selfishly come back to this thread for therapy, walking away knowing I am not the only one. Thanks guys, in a weird way 😛 off to the gym.

God bless.
 
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