Anyone homeschooled? Afraid for my daughter

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ellam25

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My daughter is only 6 months old but already I am thinking of homeschooling her. My sister is 15 and I have witnessed first hand what public school has done to her. All of a sudden she is pro gay, has tons of “gay” friends and even a trans friend and if you say anything disagreeing with gay marriage she gives all these reason why you should support it. Nevermind she was raised Catholic her friends are more important now. I do not want my daughter to end up this way and to be “of the world”. I want to teach her about God without having a teacher suggesting he doesn’t exist or that all religions are the same. I don’t want her thinking a man in a dress is acceptable. I don’t want her to turn away from God and be part of a culture where girls are having sex at 14. I have anxiety everyday that she grows and I know this sounds terrible but I just want to take her to a remote area and keep her there. I know that is not realistic but I am stressing everyday. any advice as a fellow parent? I never thought being a mommy would be so fulfilling and stressful at the same time.
 
Cross each bridge as you come to it.

(Though I’m a worrier, too, and that advice can be hard to take!)

There are pros and cons to every educational environment, including ones particular to your situation. Research your local public and Catholic schools. Curricula are often available online, or you can request it. Ask to tour the schools. (You can also take it one year at a time, elect to not permit your child to attend certain lessons or read certain books, etc.) Family dynamics are also very important.

I think for the most chance at success in homeschooling, one should have a positive desire to homeschool, rather than simply fear the negatives of a brick-and-mortar school.

Full disclosure: My oldest attended Catholic preschool this year, and will attend public school for kindergarten in the fall. I am comfortable with my choice and know that I can reassess if necessary. We practice our faith as a family and have a great parish, and have many practicing Catholic friends (though not family, which is a combination of non-practicing Catholics, non-denominational Evangelicals and “nones.”)
 
Cross each bridge as you come to it.
Yes. The Lord gives us the grace to get through our actual trials, but not much for the trials we imagine we’ll have to go through in some possible future that might not even happen.

From the Screwtape Letters, Letter XV:

*The humans live in time but our Enemy destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the Present. For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experience which our Enemy has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered them. He would therefore have them continually concerned either with eternity (which means being concerned with Him) or with the Present—either meditating on their eternal union with, or separation from, Himself, or else obeying the present voice of conscience, bearing the present cross, receiving the present grace, giving thanks for the present pleasure.

Our business is to get them away from the eternal, and from the Present. With this in view, we sometimes tempt a human (say a widow or a scholar) to live in the Past. But this is of limited value, for they have some real knowledge of the past and it has a determinate nature and, to that extent, resembles eternity. .It is far better to make them live in the Future. Biological necessity makes all their passions point in that direction already, so that thought about the Future inflames hope and fear. Also, it is unknown to them, so that in making them think about it we make them think of unrealities. In a word, the Future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity. It is the most completely temporal part of time—for the Past is frozen and no longer flows, and the Present is all lit up with eternal rays. Hence the encouragement we have given to all those schemes of thought such as Creative Evolution, Scientific Humanism, or Communism, which fix men’s affections on the Future, on the very core of temporality. Hence nearly all vices are rooted in the future. Gratitude looks to the past and love to the present; fear, avarice, lust, and ambition look ahead. Do not think lust an exception. When the present pleasure arrives, the sin (which alone interests us) is already over. The pleasure is just the part of the process which we regret and would exclude if we could do so without losing the sin; it is the part contributed by the Enemy, and therefore experienced in a Present. The sin, which is our contribution, looked forward.

To be sure, the Enemy wants men to think of the Future too—just so much as is necessary for now planning the acts of justice or charity which will probably be their duty tomorrow. The duty of planning the morrow’s work is today’s duty; though its material is borrowed from the future, the duty, like all duties, is in the Present. This is not straw splitting. He does not want men to give the Future their hearts, to place their treasure in it. We do. His ideal is a man who, having worked all day for the good of posterity (if that is his vocation), washes his mind of the whole subject, commits the issue to Heaven, and returns at once to the patience or gratitude demanded by the moment that is passing over him. But we want a man hag-ridden by the Future—haunted by visions of an imminent heaven or hell upon earth—ready to break the Enemy’s commands in the present if by so doing we make him think he can attain the one or avert the other— dependent for his faith on the success or failure of schemes whose end he will not live to see. We want a whole race perpetually in pursuit of the rainbow’s end, never honest, nor kind, nor happy now, but always using as mere fuel wherewith to heap the altar of the future every real gift which is offered them in the Present.

It follows then, in general, and other things being equal, that it is better for your patient to be filled with anxiety or hope (it doesn’t much matter which) about this war than for him to be living in the present. But the phrase “living in the present” is ambiguous. It may describe a process which is really just as much concerned with the Future as anxiety itself. Your man may be untroubled about the Future, not because he is concerned with the Present, but because he has persuaded himself that the Future is, going to be agreeable. As long as that is the real course of his tranquillity, his tranquillity will do us good, because it is only piling up more disappointment, and therefore more impatience, for him when his false hopes are dashed. If, on the other hand, he is aware that horrors may be in store for him and is praying for the virtues, wherewith to meet them, and meanwhile concerning himself with the Present because there, and there alone, all duty, all grace, all knowledge, and all pleasure dwell, his state is very undesirable and should be attacked at once. Here again, our Philological Arm has done good work; try the word “complacency” on him. But, of course, it is most likely that he is “living in the Present” for none of these reasons but simply because his health is good and he is enjoying his work. The phenomenon would then be merely natural. All the same, I should break it up if I were you. No natural phenomenon is really in our favour. And anyway, why should the creature be happy?*
 
My daughter is only 6 months old but already I am thinking of homeschooling her. My sister is 15 and I have witnessed first hand what public school has done to her. All of a sudden she is pro gay, has tons of “gay” friends and even a trans friend and if you say anything disagreeing with gay marriage she gives all these reason why you should support it. Nevermind she was raised Catholic her friends are more important now. I do not want my daughter to end up this way and to be “of the world”. I want to teach her about God without having a teacher suggesting he doesn’t exist or that all religions are the same. I don’t want her thinking a man in a dress is acceptable. I don’t want her to turn away from God and be part of a culture where girls are having sex at 14. I have anxiety everyday that she grows and I know this sounds terrible but I just want to take her to a remote area and keep her there. I know that is not realistic but I am stressing everyday. any advice as a fellow parent? I never thought being a mommy would be so fulfilling and stressful at the same time.
Do what you feel is necessary. If this is what you think will help her stay away from sin and follow the Church. Personally, I would choose public school. Yes, I understand the risk. But I think it’s just better socially. Also, unfortunately stuff like that back fires a lot! Kids who were home schooled in strict religious homes could grow up to be more anti-Catholic than most.

I think you should also talk to a priest about this, and (no offense) perhaps a therapist? You sound like you may have some form of OCD.
 
I was homeschooled from kindergarten to the end of high school and I like to think I turned out okay. 😉

I also know a lot of people from our catholic homeschool group. Most were stereotypical families with upwards of ten kids and a very religious atmosphere. I know some who have gone on to positively embrace their faith and start making a great life for themselves. I know others whose parents made them so scared of lgbt people and a host of other things labeled immoral, that they are in their late 20s and never leave their parents house for fear of being corrupted; catholic colleges are too risky for them, apparently. Still others I know left the church entirely. Depends so much on the individual family, in my experience. How you present the world outside your home to your kids.
 
Do what you feel is necessary. If this is what you think will help her stay away from sin and follow the Church. Personally, I would choose public school. Yes, I understand the risk. But I think it’s just better socially. Also, unfortunately stuff like that back fires a lot! Kids who were home schooled in strict religious homes could grow up to be more anti-Catholic than most.

I think you should also talk to a priest about this, and (no offense) perhaps a therapist? You sound like you may have some form of OCD.
Lol I do have extreme anxiety (st dymphna is my go-to saint almost every day) and I’m guessing that cam e across in my post. 😉
Thank you for your reply. Something to consider.
 
EasterJoy quoted an excellent selection from Screwtape, one I have to reconsider from time to time.

When my daughter, who was also tiny, learned to walk, as I was crossing the street with her I thought, How could I ever let her cross the street alone? I was horrified at all the parents in the world who let their child cross the street without them! Well, I did learn to let her cross the street alone before she drove off to college 😉

But that’s the way it is with raising children: they grow up.

So enjoy and love her now, and don’t worry about the tomorrow 5 years from now!
 
God bless you and your little one! I’m just going to say some prayers for you…

Hail Mary
Hail Mary
Hail Mary
:gopray2:

It’s rough out there and I pray for all our kids…
 
Lol I do have extreme anxiety (st dymphna is my go-to saint almost every day) and I’m guessing that cam e across in my post. 😉
Thank you for your reply. Something to consider.
I suffer from anxiety too and sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with panic attacks. Though, therapy does help. Just keep praying. 🙂
 
Even if you homeschool her or send her to Catholic school, she may still have gay friends. Gay teens don’t inhabit public schools only.

You sound as if you want to isolate her from the world, but that’s not the answer IMO. Unless you plan to keep her locked up forever, she’s going to meet people with different viewpoints and beliefs.
If you take away her ability to be “of the world” you may be robbing her from an enriching life. God gave free will, right?
You’ll have to trust her to make good decisions out there in the world. And moving forward, like in your sister’s case, you have to be prepared that your daughter may not always have the same beliefs as you do.

.
Lol I do want to isolate her from the world, but I know how wrong that thinking is! My mother was very posessive of us (in a different way than this, but still it was suffocating) and I don’t want to be anything like that. But I am a control freak (ie, my husband will get my daughter dressed in the morning and I’ll change her to a different outfit because she had just worn that one last week. Luckily he doesn’t mind and takes it as it is. I may have an Ocd issue too, but I hate it when people are like “I am so Ocd because I have to have my hair parted a certain way or I freak out!!!” :rolleyes:)
Anyway thank you to everyone who replied. I know I have a little while but I should probably try to work on my tendancies now to be suffocating. However, right now as a 6 month old baby she loves mommy being around her all the time!😃
 
When our first child was the same age as your little one-we started to visit the Catholic school open houses, so I completely understand.What prompted me was witnessing the kids getting off the school bus in 3rd and 4th grades using profanity.

I agree to take one day at a time and be a witness for your child in all aspects of the faith, so your child is equipped for whatever educational choice you made.

On a side note:

Perhaps your sibling is being rebellious right now. I could understand having one gay friend, who keeps their sexual things to themselves (at 15 sex should not be discussed or practiced anyway)–but to have many gay friends and a transfriend too-tells me she is doing this on purpose and they are not friends.- it may be transient, as 15 can be a rebellious time for some. Perhaps a tradtional catholic youth camp would give your sibling a refresher on establishing friendships with the pure minded.
 
I was homeschooled from start to finish, I did very well academically, went on to graduate college with honors and soared through grad school. I did have a bit of a rebellious phase out of the end of high school and into college, but I never lost my core beliefs, which eventually led me to the true church (I was raised Baptist).

I plan to homeschool my children at this point.
 
Yes, we homeschool. 🙂

If you have any specific questions about home education, feel free to ask. There are many excellent resources available to Catholic homeschoolers with a variety of educational styles and philosophies.
 
Wow, that is a tough decision.

I have two daughters, and I faced the same dilemma when it came to their schooling.

First let me tell you how things worked out, and then I will tell you how we got there.

My older daughter is in graduate school at Stanford, working on her PhD. She is engaged to a wonderful Catholic man who is a member of Opus Dei. They attend Mass together every day, if they can, and pray together every evening–via Skype, if necessary–that they will remain pure with each other.

My younger daughter is a fifth grade teacher in a Catholic school. She opted to teach in a Catholic school–despite the far lower salary–so that not only could she pass on her faith, but she wouldn’t have to teach that gay marriage is okay.

So, how did we get there? Well, as a former teacher myself, let me tell you that, first of all, the values you instill early make a huge difference to your child. You are your child’s first and most important teacher. School teachers are there only to assist you in educating your child. Never ever ever consider them to be in charge of your child’s education. You are in charge.

Second (and far more important), don’t go it alone. Pray to the Holy Spirit that you will be a good example to your child. Live your faith, and let your child see the joy that it brings you. Be sure you explain to your child why the Church teaches what it does–never present Church teachings as a set of arbitrary rules.

My daughters attended Catholic school grades K-8, and public school grades 9-12. Yes, I was concerned about sending them to a public school, but by the time they got there, they were so well grounded in their faith that they could defend it against all comers. (This sometimes meant filling in whatever catechesis they didn’t get at the Catholic school.)

I wish you the best in raising your daughter. Just keep on top of what she’s learning in school. You can, if necessary, always pull her out of one school and send her to another or you can opt to homeschool.
 
I was home schooled and I feel it helped me get a better education than most. I am in college now, and I am the teacher’s pet in all my college classes. I am also getting mostly As and B+s.

I enjoyed being home schooled, and most people who I mention it to say they wish they were home schooled when they were still in high-school/grade-school.

I feel home schooling has given me a good respect/fear for authority and high levels of integrity. 🙂

With home schooling, your parent is basically a tutor. It is easier to learn one on one.

The only downside I would say about home schooling is that you can get stir crazy easy if you don’t leave the house or even go outside.
 
Do what you feel is necessary. If this is what you think will help her stay away from sin and follow the Church. Personally, I would choose public school. Yes, I understand the risk. But I think it’s just better socially. Also, unfortunately stuff like that back fires a lot! Kids who were home schooled in strict religious homes could grow up to be more anti-Catholic than most.

I think you should also talk to a priest about this, and (no offense) perhaps a therapist? You sound like you may have some form of OCD.
Actually I was homeschooled and I am still a devout Catholic.
 
I won’t speak to homeschooling, but I will say this:

As an Educator (I’m a DRE) and the Youth Minister at my parish, I see this all the time with teenagers, mostly girls. There is a thing about young girls that they want to be seen as hip, cool, into all kinds of things that they feel they know more about, because there are lots of “gay couples” in their social circle. To shun these people is social suicide for them.
They just don’t get that they can have their own opinions, and that doesn’t mean you are rude to people, you hit them over the head with your beliefs, but that you should hold your beliefs TRUE and FIRMLY. They see acceptance as the be-all end-all.
Add into the equation, that many parents feel like simply attending Mass, and participating in Holy Days and various Devotions is enough to form their children. They’re enrolled in Religious Ed right> Isn’t that enough???
NO IT IS NOT.
Kids need the conversation regarding what we teach, what we believe, AT HOME. People drop off their teens to Formation and expect us to unravel all the junk they hear at school, on popular media, and from friends. Once it’s ingrained and not corrected in their heads, it’s really hard to reach them. It can be done, but honestly, children will learn what’s right from you. If you can teach a child not to cross in front of a moving car, you can teach them what morality entails. I’m not trying to be flippant, but seriously, if you are frequently talking about social issues, morality, and what the Church teaches and how God wants us to live our lives…that will form them, and they will be able to peacefully so-exist with others who have poor formation.
That hasn’t got alot to do with home schooling.
That has more to do with parents actively involved in catechesis.
Be sure that you yourself knows exactly what the Church teaches on these social issues, and other topics and you will do fine. Your Catechetical teams are there to help you.
You can’t hide your kids from everything,You just can’t. Curiosity kicks in, and then they need that foundation. My girls went to all kinds of concerts where people were using drugs, and had a zillion piercings, and all kinds of stuff that theysimply were not permitted to do. I had already spoken to them about why these things were not recommended, dangerous, illegal even. They liked the music, and I trusted them. They turned out fine. No tattoos, no odd piercings, no sexual activity, nothing bad. They loved that I trusted them, and behaved accordingly. Just develop that loving relationship with them and they will listen. But no one should leave it up to the Church alone, or friends to form them. We’'ll help, but it’s a parent’s first vocation. Homeschool if you want, but not out of fear of the real world. The real world can be beautiful but it can also be scary. Not scary for a teen with a good foundation.
God bless you. Enjoy her babyhood. 👍
 
My daughter is only 6 months old but already I am thinking of homeschooling her. My sister is 15 and I have witnessed first hand what public school has done to her. All of a sudden she is pro gay, has tons of “gay” friends and even a trans friend and if you say anything disagreeing with gay marriage she gives all these reason why you should support it. Nevermind she was raised Catholic her friends are more important now. I do not want my daughter to end up this way and to be “of the world”. I want to teach her about God without having a teacher suggesting he doesn’t exist or that all religions are the same. I don’t want her thinking a man in a dress is acceptable. I don’t want her to turn away from God and be part of a culture where girls are having sex at 14. I have anxiety everyday that she grows and I know this sounds terrible but I just want to take her to a remote area and keep her there. I know that is not realistic but I am stressing everyday. any advice as a fellow parent? I never thought being a mommy would be so fulfilling and stressful at the same time.
I don’t think this is a question of homeschooling vs not homeschooling. This is a question of sheltering due to fear vs having the confidence to give your daughter the tools she needs to live in the world and time in which she lives and to be prepared to handle that.

You are your daughter’s primary educator, regardless of what type of school she attends. You also have no idea what type of career path your daughter might choose and how she will need to interact with people of different religions and lifestyles.

Sheltering due to fear is never helpful. Educating our children about our values is.
 
I was home schooled and I feel it helped me get a better education than most. I am in college now, and I am the teacher’s pet in all my college classes. I am also getting mostly As and B+s.

I enjoyed being home schooled, and most people who I mention it to say they wish they were home schooled when they were still in high-school/grade-school.

I feel home schooling has given me a good respect/fear for authority and high levels of integrity. 🙂

With home schooling, your parent is basically a tutor. It is easier to learn one on one.

The only downside I would say about home schooling is that you can get stir crazy easy if you don’t leave the house or even go outside.
I feel that true intelligence is knowing how to think critically and logically, not simply obeying authority like the entire school system proposes.

Sorry, that’s my libertarian side talking.
 
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