Anyone know where jealousy comes from and how to kill it?

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Vatican2Rocks!:
Hi Flopfoot

I am wondering if forgiveness on your part would help you to overcome the vice of envy. I am not sure if you should forgive God or the object of your envy or both. I think perhaps both. perhaps even yourself.

I want to thank you for posting this because I am usually an object of envy and it really hurts my feelings.
Its not my fault that i have more or better than another person and I think it is unkind to want to take their goods away or make them feel bad about having something that the envier doesn’t.

i know some things are within the power of the envier to obtain without taking it away from another…such as a great figure.
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I’m not sure I understand the “forgiving God” part.

As you stated, it’s not your fault that you may have more than others but do you think of what you have as gifts or blessings from God or do you think it is all of your own making? Your feelings of being hurt may decrease if you look at what you have as a gift given you from the Lord which should be shared with others for the glory of God.
You mentioned the gift of a great figure. I don’t know if you are talking about yourself or not but there is a great story about Fulton Sheen and a beautiful airline attendant and how he showed her that her beauty was given to her by God to be shared with others. He suggested she go to some third world country and work with the poor and diseased people there because some of them have never seen anything (or person) so beautiful. He (I think) suggested that so those people would know beauty in this life and get some joy from it.

If you have a great figure and get attention for it, maybe you should be a beacon of modesty in our lust filled world. Maybe you can be an example of how to dress with dignity to others who may be watching you. ( I’m not implying you don’t already dress modestly. 🙂 )
God Bless.
 
mary’s kid

you hit on the point exactly

if you are jealous that the LORD gave me or someone else something he didn’t give to you…then you should forgive THE LORD for blessing ME instead of YOU.

why?

because it’s not the fault of beautiful people for being graced with beauty…its the LORD"S ‘fault’

and I really don’t consider a blessing a fault…but jealous people do

i value beauty…it is a virtue…both external and internal beauty are virtues…gifts.

if you complain about that …then it proves you are a jealous person full of pride…not the good kind

and if you argue with me saying i’m not a humble person…then again…you are wrong again…

humility is making an honest assessment…it is NOT tearing yourself down. It is not devaluing yourself either. it is good to be proud of and value one’s goods. People who resent the beauty of others are breaking the 9th and 10th commandments that state thou shalt not covet

to tell someone they shouldn’t feel so proud of their goods that God has given them is COVETING.

just to rub it in…THANK YOU GOD FOR BLESSING ME with good looks and a nice figure. 🙂 :getholy:

😃

I just had a thought…if My beauty is an occassion of sin for you…then you should avoid me like the plague…because…i am not going to back down on denying who i am and how god made me. that will just enrage you and cause you to sin. so i suggest to you that unless you can forgive me and god,you won’t overcome your fault of envy. envy is being sad at the goods of others and not wanting them to have those goods.

needless to say…you can’t be friends with someone who is jealous of you and/or who would begrudge you the goods of life.
 
What works for me is to realize that everyone, no matter how blessed they may seem to be, has got things in their lives that are either painful or sinful.

When you see a great looking guy who you think must get all the girls consider that he may be the kind of man who uses up women and then tosses them aside. Would you really want to be that kind of person?

Or he may have a very sick mother or have to live with constant verbal abused or some other such thing. His life might be more of a misery than you know. In that case, he needs your pity and your kindness.

People aren’t always what they seem to be on the surface. Beautiful people can be evil or miserable or beset with with anxiety, problems or fears just like anyone else. We’re all just human beings in need of a Savior. If that were not the case “beautiful” people would be translated straight to heaven the instant they were born instead of having to live their lives in this imperfect and sinful world just like the rest of us. 😉
 
i certainly would not hide a great figure in dowdy clothes

i have gained some weight this year so my figure is not at its best…but if it was…i would be dressing my body to show it and myself off in all our glory.
rather than hiding our light under a bushel basket

thank you for bringing up these points.
 
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Della:
What works for me is to realize that everyone, no matter how blessed they may seem to be, has got things in their lives that are either painful or sinful.

When you see a great looking guy who you think must get all the girls consider that he may be the kind of man who uses up women and then tosses them aside. Would you really want to be that kind of person?

Or he may have a very sick mother or have to live with constant verbal abused or some other such thing. His life might be more of a misery than you know. In that case, he needs your pity and your kindness.

People aren’t always what they seem to be on the surface. Beautiful people can be evil or miserable or beset with with anxiety, problems or fears just like anyone else. We’re all just human beings in need of a Savior. If that were not the case “beautiful” people would be translated straight to heaven the instant they were born instead of having to live their lives in this imperfect and sinful world just like the rest of us. 😉
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HI Della

I agree that its wrong to FANTASIZE and/or to automatically assume that beautiful people are morally inferior to ordinary or ugly people on the inside. 🙂
 
i would just like to add that i should be proud of myself for having enough self discipline to have a great body. that is my doing…not god’s 😃

so for those who want a great figure…work at it just like the beautiful people do instead of getting all jealous and tearing down the beauties you see walking by in great clothes.

figure out why you have an eating problem and stop excusing yourselves for your gluttony.
 
this is a spinoff from another thread on jealousy

I am wondering how to deal with jealous, envious people.

I am an attractive woman and i often find that women who i don’t even know are automatically jealous of me.

here is a list of abuses i have been subjected to:
  1. they exclude me and try to prevent me from being friends with other people.
  2. they want to make sure their friends won’t talk to me or want to be friends with me.
  3. if they have a boyfriend or a husband, they try to get him away from me…as if they think I am going to steal their man or something.
  4. They talk about me behind my back. I don’t know what they say but i know they are tearing me down behind my back trying to get others to not like me.
Can anyone here relate to this?

should i just openly accuse the woman of being jealous as soon as she makes these covert moves? should i just walk away with my tail between my legs? should i walk out in protest without saying a word?
 
Vatican2Rocks!:
mary’s kid

you hit on the point exactly

if you are jealous that the LORD gave me or someone else something he didn’t give to you…then you should forgive THE LORD for blessing ME instead of YOU.

why?

because it’s not the fault of beautiful people for being graced with beauty…its the LORD"S ‘fault’

and I really don’t consider a blessing a fault…but jealous people do

i value beauty…it is a virtue…both external and internal beauty are virtues…gifts.

if you complain about that …then it proves you are a jealous person full of pride…not the good kind

and if you argue with me saying i’m not a humble person…then again…you are wrong again…

humility is making an honest assessment…it is NOT tearing yourself down. It is not devaluing yourself either. it is good to be proud of and value one’s goods. People who resent the beauty of others are breaking the 9th and 10th commandments that state thou shalt not covet

to tell someone they shouldn’t feel so proud of their goods that God has given them is COVETING.

just to rub it in…THANK YOU GOD FOR BLESSING ME with good looks and a nice figure. 🙂 :getholy:

😃

I just had a thought…if My beauty is an occassion of sin for you…then you should avoid me like the plague…because…i am not going to back down on denying who i am and how god made me. that will just enrage you and cause you to sin. so i suggest to you that unless you can forgive me and god,you won’t overcome your fault of envy. envy is being sad at the goods of others and not wanting them to have those goods.

needless to say…you can’t be friends with someone who is jealous of you and/or who would begrudge you the goods of life.
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I asked the Holy Spirit to help me here because I don’t want you to feel I’m attacking you. I am amazed you got all of that from my post.
I am not jealous of you. Before I had 6 kids I was 120 lbs, was and am 5’8’’. I’ve had plenty of attention from men. What I do feel for you is pity. I did happen to read your thread in family life before I came back to this thread. I thought there was some good advice given to you there.
I’m just going to say some prayers for you and your peace of mind. You can continue to attack me if you want but know I will offer up to God any unpleasantness I feel for your soul.

Btw, who said that dressing modestly has to look dowdy?

May our good God bless you, Vatican2Rocks! 🙂 🙂 🙂
 
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BarbaraTherese:
Hi there CSN…an excellent philosophy and sound spiritual theology, that everything that happens, everything, comes about of God’s Will and for good and positive reasons if we are sensitive to God’s Will and to the good in any situation whatsoever. Your post also illustrates well and from life experience that our lives are journeys, and where we have started out may well now be further on than we were then and courtesy of God’s Grace, His Holy Spirit, and perseverance.

Great Post!:dancing:

Barb:)
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Hey, thanks. I’ve never gotten the dancey guy before ! Let me return that with the “Top o’ the mornin” guy → :tiphat:
 
In The Final Analysis (written by Mother Teresa)

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centred; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough; Give the world the best anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.
 
For Flopfoot and Dimmers,
God Bless you in your quest for what boils down to growth in love (charity) and humility. Wow, who doesn’t need growth there?:rolleyes:
Anyways! I know you are not children, but what came to mind while I was reading you posts was what I remind my own children of frequently. Especially when they are having a hard time being glad when good things are happening for someone else. Firstly, because my kids are each one in a small crowd:) , they have to realize that we all receive different blessings at different times.One day may be someone else’s “day”, i.e., birthday or something, but another day will be your day to have something nice happen. It is very important to cultivate true gladness for others’ good fortune. And really if we care to look closely enough, we can thank God daily for our own blessings, even on a not so good day.
I know this is a simple principle…but not so simple to live out!

Peace,
Kelly
 
My dad call jealousy “the green eyed monster”. I think it is demonic, let in from doubt. So an angel (virtue) combats it. Charity, humility and thankfulness as mentioned before in this thread. Tim
 
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