Anything about you that goes against "traditional" gender roles?

[ShrodingersCat]

I have met some women who take pride in not being able to cook or do housework.

Why?



To me, being able to cook, garden, all the home making skills are way underrated.

I know right?? I really wish all parents recognised the need for girls and boys to be trained in these areas. My mum was possessive of the kitchen, but I did Home Ec and had a housemate who was really into cooking so I was OK. But so many kids move out of home and haven’t a clue how to cook beans on toast without setting fire to the microwave.

 

[ToeInTheWater]

I know right?? I really wish all parents recognised the need for girls and boys to be trained in these areas. My mum was possessive of the kitchen, but I did Home Ec and had a housemate who was really into cooking so I was OK. But so many kids move out of home and haven’t a clue how to cook beans on toast without setting fire to the microwave.

Unfortunately I can think of a number of men, including my own father, who are dependent on their wives to cook and clean for them. I also have a friend who luckily had enough money to pay for a professional housekeeper and pay for prepared meals before his marriage, but otherwise would have been completely lost.

I do think some basic practical housekeeping skills are essential for both men and women, especially those who don’t have the financial assets to afford just paying someone to do it for them.

 

[anon67074017]

I am interested in the Disney movie Frozen mainly because of the European historical setting of the film. It is mostly little girls who are interested in it. I sometimes have to tell people that Frozen was not made for any particular gender. I actually find Elsa and Anna quite attractive.

 

[ThePCWife]

Traditional idea of femininity is more of ‘pretty’ stuff. So for the jeans and stuff, while girls wear it, people will generally think a feminine/girly girl will be into skirts ans dresses and makeup and lace and stuff like that.

As for housework, it’s seen as a “woman’s” job. While I don’t think people in general enjoy housework, you see christian women gushing about keeping the house tidy and being all sweet and demure for their husbands. This stuff was/is considered traditionally feminine, which is what most of us are probably thinking of when looking at this thread

This is pretty recent in “traditional” terms, though. There’s a fairly broad range of feminine roles and a fairly broad range of masculine roles.

 

[Lea101]

This is pretty recent in “traditional” terms, though. There’s a fairly broad range of feminine roles and a fairly broad range of masculine roles.

This thread was in reference to another thread about the woman who seem to have the stereotypical christian views on gender roles. Hence most people here are talking such roles (today’s idea of traditional gender roles)

 

[Sarcelle]

This is pretty recent in “traditional” terms, though. There’s a fairly broad range of feminine roles and a fairly broad range of masculine roles.

True.

However you see more and more, especially among the more conservative Evangelicals, the feminine role being confined solely to that of suburban stay at home mom.

Allowances are made for homesteading families but the role of women is to be a wife and mother. This goes for all women.

 

[dangerousdyls]

For the most part, no…I like sports, I like outdoors, I guess those are “traditional” manly roles, even though I find nothing weird about a woman liking those as well

but one thing is I do find it easier to talk with women than men in many situations. I think women are usually better at having a conversation and socializing. Plus, a lot of men are crude and objectifying in their talking, even when you barely know them, and that gets old and boring real quick (talking about the general population, not devout Catholics).

 

[Monica4316]

I only wear skirts or dresses (I gave up pants a few years ago) for greater modesty/femininity. I’m very happy about my choice.

I never wear makeup, but I don’t see that as “unfeminine”, as I don’t think women have to wear makeup. God didn’t make us that way

I like to do stuff around the house and I work with little kids… I guess I’m kind of an old fashioned girl lol.

 

[Lea101]

I only wear skirts or dresses (I gave up pants a few years ago) for greater modesty/femininity. I’m very happy about my choice.

I never wear makeup, but I don’t see that as “unfeminine”, as I don’t think women have to wear makeup. God didn’t make us that way

I like to do stuff around the house and I work with little kids… I guess I’m kind of an old fashioned girl lol.

Lol I’m kind of the opposite

I practically live in pants bc it is more flattering on me than skirts and I only wear skirts for special occasions. Nothing against them, I just feel a bit weird in them.

Makeup is a necessity if I’m going to leave the house. I don’t think girls who don’t wear it aren’t feminine…tbh a lot of girls don’t even need it!

Hate housework but I find kids adorable but exhausting. I can play with them for like 5 minutes but after that, they annoy me. Unless they are all sleepy and quiet. Then I can just cuddle them forever

Guys who are great with kids are soooooooo cute. If a guy were to break any gender role, it should be this (or cleaning)

 

[DarkLight]

I do wear a lot of skirts. I happen to think my rear end looks very nice in them. Probably not the approved reason.

 

[Rosebud77]

I am sweet, gentle and demure.

However when people try to bully me, I can and do fight back. In short, I am not a pushover.

Someone called me a well shielded nuclear reactor. It may seem harmless outside but watch out when the defenses get breached.

Love this! I have been told often that I make a better friend than an enemy… but that is feminine… protecting the weak…

 

[redbetta]

Some ways in which I’m not too feminine:

1. I prefer wearing pants except for fancy occasions.
2. I don’t like children and I don’t think babies are cute: they look too much like blobs.
3. I grew up watching action cartoons and now prefer watching action animes.
4. I hate appeals to pathos and will not support or use them even for a cause I support.
5. I speak to more women in real life because I find men intimidating, but, online, I prefer talking to men/guys. Also, I get along better with men and women annoy me more often.

 

[ToeInTheWater]

True.

However you see more and more, especially among the more conservative Evangelicals, the feminine role being confined solely to that of suburban stay at home mom.

Allowances are made for homesteading families but the role of women is to be a wife and mother. This goes for all women.

It seems many conservative Evangelicals will grudgingly allow for a woman to work for pay if she “has to” to avoid complete destitution, and certainly as an alternative to “being beholden to the State”. But even then, they make a point of emphasizing that a woman’s PRIMARY role is wife and mother, and they should NEVER forget that!

But I’ve almost never seen such people tell men that their primary roles is husband and father. Indeed, many will idolize the man who works 2 or even 3 jobs so the wife can stay home, even if that means he hardly ever has any meaningful interaction with the children beyond being a distant disciplinarian, that the mother evokes with the “Wait Until Your Father Gets Home” threat.

Anyways, speaking of men – it’s interesting how this topic has essentially become one for women to discuss how they’re not “girly girls”. I’d hoped more men would participate, but it seems there is more stigma to a man having “effeminate” features than a woman having “masculine” traits.

I guess this is because society still tends to assume traditionally masculine traits are superior to feminine ones – even many “Feminists” seem to often see “girly girls” as essentially the equivalent of Mollie, mare in Animal Farm who cares more about showing off the ribbons in her mane than about the Animal Revolution.

 

[Sarcelle]

It seems many conservative Evangelicals will grudgingly allow for a woman to work for pay if she “has to” to avoid complete destitution, and certainly as an alternative to “being beholden to the State”. But even then, they make a point of emphasizing that a woman’s PRIMARY role is wife and mother, and they should NEVER forget that!

But I’ve almost never seen such people tell men that their primary roles is husband and father. Indeed, many will idolize the man who works 2 or even 3 jobs so the wife can stay home, even if that means he hardly ever has any meaningful interaction with the children beyond being a distant disciplinarian, that the mother evokes with the “Wait Until Your Father Gets Home” threat.

Anyways, speaking of men – it’s interesting how this topic has essentially become one for women to discuss how they’re not “girly girls”. I’d hoped more men would participate, but it seems there is more stigma to a man having “effeminate” features than a woman having “masculine” traits.

I guess this is because society still tends to assume traditionally masculine traits are superior to feminine ones – even many “Feminists” seem to often see “girly girls” as essentially the equivalent of Mollie, mare in Animal Farm who cares more about showing off the ribbons in her mane than about the Animal Revolution.

The girlie girls I know would more often than not identify as feminist and are actually quite independent. The more rough and tumble and stern women I know are usually the stay at home moms. I guess you gotta be tough to keep a bunch of children under control. A lot of the SAHM I know remind me more of drill sergeants than Donna Reed. My mom is one of them.

 

[KnitNut]

Anyways, speaking of men – it’s interesting how this topic has essentially become one for women to discuss how they’re not “girly girls”. I’d hoped more men would participate, but it seems there is more stigma to a man having “effeminate” features than a woman having “masculine” traits.

I guess this is because society still tends to assume traditionally masculine traits are superior to feminine ones – even many “Feminists” seem to often see “girly girls” as essentially the equivalent of Mollie, mare in Animal Farm who cares more about showing off the ribbons in her mane than about the Animal Revolution.

I think part of the issue is the goalposts seem to be shifting in the thread. Do you want to discuss mannerisms (eg “effeminate”, male or female, or clothing/makeup styles, or social interactions - chatty, silent, ) or “roles” (eg breadwinner, parent, disciplinarian) or “careers” (eg engineer, teacher, nurse, forklift driver) or family responsibilities (eg childrearing, cooking, income generator)?

Honestly, I think in today’s society, people have to have a broad general skill set, both men and women. There’s no guarantee (even among highly religious families) that there won’t be a divorce at some point. Further, with the economy and other factors, there’s no guarantee that a job is going to be “for life” - no more working your whole career for one company and getting a nice pension. So in part, women are just facing the reality that they need to be able to provide for themselves (and their children) in case the guy decides to leave, or he loses his job, etc. Likewise, men need a similar body of knowledge in case they have to stay home with the kids (job loss, anyone?) or their wife outearns them, or she leaves (that happens, too), or they’re both working and have to share chores more equitably.

So I guess you’d need to clarify exactly what you mean by “effeminate”.

 

[ahollars]

I do about 95% of the cooking in my house. I come home from work, and most days I either go straight into the kitchen, or my wife gets in the car and we go to the grocery store. I make it a point to stock the kitchen with quick items for breakfast and lunch, with dinner taking extra effort, and I mean actual cooking, not just heating up some premade package. I take a few minutes during my lunchbreak at work planning the meal for the evening. I throwdown big on Saturday mornings with a big, country-style breakfast.

I do taunt my wife about the arrangement, but it’s in good fun. She can cook, but I like it, and I have never expected dinner to be ready when I arrive, even on days where I stay a couple of extra hours. The kids have their own opinions. It’s a contest to see who’s best, and that keeps the quailty high.

 

[ToeInTheWater]

I think part of the issue is the goalposts seem to be shifting in the thread. Do you want to discuss mannerisms (eg “effeminate”, male or female, or clothing/makeup styles, or social interactions - chatty, silent, ) or “roles” (eg breadwinner, parent, disciplinarian) or “careers” (eg engineer, teacher, nurse, forklift driver) or family responsibilities (eg childrearing, cooking, income generator)?

I’d be happy to discuss all of the above.

Honestly, I think in today’s society, people have to have a broad general skill set, both men and women. There’s no guarantee (even among highly religious families) that there won’t be a divorce at some point. Further, with the economy and other factors, there’s no guarantee that a job is going to be “for life” - no more working your whole career for one company and getting a nice pension.

Not to mention how the average age of marriage is usually much later than the average age of a child becoming independent from their parents. Of course there are exceptions such as the Duggars, but their lifestyle is meant to be counter-cultural. There are also cases of adult children living with parents for financial reasons. But most men these days can’t depend on a woman to always be around for household chores, and most women can’t depend on always having a man to support them financially.

And even without divorce or some catastrophe, I can think of many old widows who are completely clueless about finances and get taken advantage of by unscrupulous people, as well as widowers who live in squalor and become malnourished after their wives die. Not all such people have children available to help, and some are too proud to accept such help. I find that kind of situation very sad.

So I guess you’d need to clarify exactly what you mean by “effeminate”.

Maybe “effeminate” is not the best word because I think most people would see that as just being about mannerisms; it’s very superficial. I used the term because many who hold to traditional sexual values actually think it is a sin for a man to act in an “effeminate” manner.

But some examples really don’t strike me as sinful at all. Many “manly men” find it effeminate to carry a “man purse” or to care about any more than the basics of personal hygiene - the term “metrosexual” is certainly meant to evoke images of men who are so obsessed with hygiene that they could be mistaken for gay.

Some also seem to use gender stereotypes to justify bad behavior, such as men behaving lustfully or women being irresponsible with finances.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I am a stay at home, homeschooling dad. My wife is a former scientist turned business woman who is highly motivated by stress. I constantly have baby fever…

 

[Sarcelle]

I am a stay at home, homeschooling dad. My wife is a former scientist turned business woman who is highly motivated by stress. I constantly have baby fever…

What is baby fever?

 

[SusanneT]

I only wear skirts or dresses (I gave up pants a few years ago) for greater modesty/femininity. I’m very happy about my choice.

I never wear makeup, but I don’t see that as “unfeminine”, as I don’t think women have to wear makeup. God didn’t make us that way

I like to do stuff around the house and I work with little kids… I guess I’m kind of an old fashioned girl lol.

I’m pretty much exactly the same except a little makeup.