Everyone counts, because everyone is a son or daughter of God. There are three challenges that have to be addressed.
- We cannot do damage to another person’s good name. If we have a problem with that person, there are appropriate ways of dealing with that. The first step is to contact the person and communicate your concern. This keeps the issue between you and the person. If you’re unsatisfied with the person’s response, you follow the chain of command.
- We can always listen to someone and say, “They could have said this differently” or “There is a better way of saying that.” But to cry heresy or blasphemy is simply another way of making an accusation. This just happened with the Holy Father and the condom question. His wording went right over people’s heads, including most Catholics. But some people, rather than admit that the man speaks in such lofty terms that he is difficult to understand, these folks refused to give him the benefit of the doubt and immediately cried that he was contradicting the faith.
Once in a while, we can say, “I would have said that differently,” and we leave it at that. If we can say it to the person, that’s even better. It’s a challenge, but we can do it.
If our non-Catholic friends try to use it against us, they get a lot less mileage out of it if we just blow it off. I’m a Hebrew Catholic and one of five siblings. If my Jewish relatives try to milk these camels, I just look at them and say, “So what’s the big deal? If you think you think he’s wrong, call him up and tell him or write him.” Then I walk away. I’ve done it so many times now, that they don’t bother, because my reaciton frustrates them. They used try to follow me with, “But blah blah blah” They don’t do it any longer. I just give them my “idiot look”. Which tells them that I’m not interested in the conversation or I ask about something that they’re interested in discussing.
- Finally, Church law has not changed. Even Canon Law still says that we must deal with the clergy respectfully.
There is an ancient story about our Holy Father Francis. One of the brothers (can’t remember which one) was very concerned about clerical scandal. There was a priest in the town who had three mistresses at the same time. Francis sent a team of brothers to open a house in that town. The brother who was going to be the superior asked Francis “What should we do about the priest who . . . .” Francis responded, “Seek him out for confession. Go to his mass and receive communion from him.” The future superior thought that Francis had not understood the gravity of the problem. He started to explain the scandal that the priest was giving. Francis turned to him and said, “What about your scandal?” At this point, the brother thought that Francis had completely missed the mark. He repeated the problem. Francis responded, “I understood what you said the first time. Apparently, you have not understood me. Judgment is spiritual suicide. I order you, under pain of mortal sin not to bring it up again. Now go to the priest and ask for absolution for judging and allowing yourself to be scandalized.”
All too often, we allow ourselves to get excited and scandalized. This is not a license for others to cause scandal. The lesson that Francis wanted to teach was that one fault, whaterver that may be, should not be an excuse for another fault. In this case, the brother was allowing himself to be scandalized to the point that he was helping the man smeer his good name. Obviously the guy was behaving in a manner that was doing damage to his good name and the brother was helping by spreading the story.
If we believe that someone is doing something scandalous, the only person who needs to hear our concern is the individual. After that, would be his immediate superior.
There is a similar story about St. Teresa of Avila. She was warned that the local priest was promiscous. She turned to the person who told her and said, “Lovely. Now we have a promiscuous priest and a Catholic gossip.” Her point was the same as that of St. Francis. We do not go around talking about people’s faults. Even if we believe that everyone else can see them, as was the case with these two priests. These two great saints teach us that we never assume that others are aware and even if they are, we do not add fuel to the fire. Everyone has a boss. We need to take our concerns, firs tto the person and if we don’t find a good response or a welcome to our concerns, then to the person’s boss. This way everyone’s rights are protected.
Fraternally,
Br. JR, OSF
(where’s the sad tearing emoticon?)