Are Catholics Rude?

[OneSheep]

I would say that the nicest catholics I know are the ones that do not practise their faith. Now, I don’t mean that the religion is the problem, but it’s their “holier than thou” attitude that makes them this way. You can even find these people here!

This is usually the same with other religions though, so I won’t be too upset/take it personally

Hi Lea,

Sure, it would be great if we do not “take things personally” but we react to the attitudes. It is part of our nature, it is part of our conscience, to see hurtful actions and attitudes and react to them because this same conscience guides our own actions, right? It is our own reactions that keep us from behaving in the same way toward others, methinks.

So, we can forgive the holier-than-thou. For example, Lea, if I am coming across with such an attitude toward you or any reader, I ask for your forgiveness. People who come across with a holier-than-thou attitude, like all people who sin, do not know what they are doing.

But yes, there are people in all religions and walks of life who think they have all righteousness on their side, like they are the Holders of the Only Truth. A priest once told us “there is nothing wrong with self-righteousness as long as you only apply it to yourself.” It is the imposition of our own version on others, and when delivered uncharitably, that there becomes a problem.

 

[LaetenturCaeli]

I would say that the nicest catholics I know are the ones that do not practise their faith.

I have the exact opposite experience.

Also, I think that someone who comes across as being self-righteous and judgmental, who is unkind and grumpy, may not necessarily be a shining example of someone who is practicing their Catholic faith in the first place.

On the other hand, some people might consider even the gentlest rebuke from grandma to be unkind and judgmental.

 

[guanophore]

People who come across with a holier-than-thou attitude, like all people who sin, do not know what they are doing.

I think this is sometimes true, OS, but sometimes people who sin do so deliberately. Sometimes the problem is in the perception, for example, if a person observed that a certain idea was not consistent with Catholic faith, the recipient may assume the one observing thought they were a “better Catholic”. This is really more of an assumption on the part of the recipient.

But yes, there are people in all religions and walks of life who think they have all righteousness on their side, like they are the Holders of the Only Truth. A priest once told us “there is nothing wrong with self-righteousness as long as you only apply it to yourself.” It is the imposition of our own version on others, and when delivered uncharitably, that there becomes a problem.

I think a distinction needs to be made between Truth revealed by God, and an individual’s personal perception of having “all righteousness”.

The Catholic Church teaches that she holds the fullness of the faith, but that does not mean all those who are members of her do so.

 

[Lea101]

I have the exact opposite experience.

Also, I think that someone who comes across as being self-righteous and judgmental, who is unkind and grumpy, may not necessarily be a shining example of someone who is practicing their Catholic faith in the first place.

On the other hand, some people might consider even the gentlest rebuke from grandma to be unkind and judgmental.

Introduce me to the nice ones! My experience has been terrible

I wouldn’t say they were grumpy all the time, but if for example, someone is not the perfect catholic, they become really judgmental.

One recent example is when Selena Gomez (a singer) wrote a song called Nobody about God and sang it, and a bunch of Catholics I know started judging her( she is a pop singer, so obviously she has a sexy immodest image). It was a beautiful song about God’s love!

In my personal experiences here and in real life, I found that they tend to be very snarky and patronising if we don’t share the same views (and not views on religious doctrine or anything, but like opinions on say, whether women can wear pants or go to work). But if we agreed on something, they are suddenly the loveliest people ever.

 

[guanophore]

Introduce me to the nice ones! My experience has been terrible

I wouldn’t say they were grumpy all the time, but if for example, someone is not the perfect catholic, they become really judgmental.

One recent example is when Selena Gomez (a singer) wrote a song called Nobody about God and sang it, and a bunch of Catholics I know started judging her( she is a pop singer, so obviously she has a sexy immodest image). It was a beautiful song about God’s love!

In my personal experiences here and in real life, I found that they tend to be very snarky and patronising if we don’t share the same views (and not views on religious doctrine or anything, but like opinions on say, whether women can wear pants or go to work). But if we agreed on something, they are suddenly the loveliest people ever.

It turns out that people are pretty much the same wherever you go, and Catholics unfortunately are no exception.

 

[Lea101]

It turns out that people are pretty much the same wherever you go, and Catholics unfortunately are no exception.

I did say that

 

[guanophore]

I did say that

Let us join our hearts together in prayer for Catholics, and all those who claim to be disciples of Christ, that we may be formed in holiness, and conduct ourselves so as to be lights in the world, and salt to our society. May we be so full of the fruit of the Spirit that people will see our lives, and be drawn to Him who is the author and finisher of our faith.

 

[Techno2000]

Having been both Evangelical Protestant, and now Catholic for 12 years, I have too noticed a big difference in the friendly department.

I think the right question though is not “why do Catholics seem rude and unfriendly?” - like someone said, that is human nature - people, including Christians, get into bad moods, are grouchy, and get into their own little self-absorbed world and don’t take efforts to reach out to others around them.

I’ve been in Protestant churches, usually older mainline denominations, that are the same as what I’ve experienced in Catholic parishes.

The right question is “why are some Protestant churchgoers so very friendly?” Why do they act that way, what is their motivation? They are human too, and can act rude themselves, but generally if you go to an Evangelical or Pentecostal protestant church service you are going to be bombarded with happy and meet extremely friendly, welcoming, cheerful, almost giddy people.

Why is this?

There are a couple of reasons, from my experience and observation:

1. They are trying to win converts for their church - protestantism is highly competitive, and the way this has shaked out is that groups of vibrant, happy, friendly people are very attractive, and so congregations bent on growing their church, and attracting as many followers, will act this way on Sunday morning, and often in everyday life, to put an attractive face on their particular church. Catholics don’t have this competitive attitude - you have to go to Sunday Mass if you are Catholic, and there is no sense of trying to win people to go to Mass here, rather than somewhere else - without the fake facade, “real” human attitudes shine through, and this gives the appearance of rudeness, especially compared to those protestants competing for members.
2. Evangelical and Pentecostalism puts a high premium on acting happy, and demonstrating the “joy of the Lord” - this is how they prove to themselves and others that they are “saved” - they are on the way to heaven, and are dancing all the way - this doesn’t mean that they don’t get down in the dumps, or frustrated with their fellow human beings, it’s just not socially acceptable in those groups to show that you are unhappy in any way, because you are a Christian and should be happy all the time - I assure you, no one is that happy all the time - but they force themselves to put on that face in public, especially on Sunday mornings - sometimes it seems like a mask worn to impress others with how happy in the Lord they are.

If you have ever been around any cult groups, such as the Mormons, you will notice how overly friendly and inviting they are, they go out of their way to be friendly, take an interest in you, seem to really like you - they have what feels like a sense of family at their church, and they want you to be part of their family love - this is all to win you as a member. Remember that, whenever you visit those Evangelical, non-demonational or Pentecostal churches, because their particular type of friendly and happy flows from the same fountain.

It is what I call “salesman friendly” - a salesman is so so friendly to you, but why? It is so you will buy what he is selling.

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

I have had experience(s) with Catholic(s) who I felt were rude when I was Protestant.

At my parish, even before I became Catholic, everyone was very welcoming and wanting me to join in on the fun (except of course the Sacraments). Most of the Catholics that I know now are very nice.

 

[LaramieHirsch]

I was looking for discussion on this topic tonight, after experiencing a bit of the subject matter for myself. So, let’s jump in. Rude Catholics…

Sure. They’re out there. They snub each other all of the time, and often shoot you in the back of the head if you’re trying to score for the team. There is a great amount of intellectual dishonesty in the Catholic world, as many people do not wish to follow through on a line of thought. Also, groupthink is a recurring pattern. If you fail to catch on, then you become ostracized like a leper.

Yes, I frequently observe Catholics looking down upon other Catholics, making no effort to bridge any gap. There is often no “meeting in the middle somewhere.” And speaking from experience, once you get expunged from cliques, they dance on your grave, and you have no way to defend yourself.

I like what debraran said about this back in 2011: “Cults are not nice places, and fear and persecution usually keeps people after the initial niceness.” Perhaps it could be concluded that within Catholic society, there are little “cults” that use fear to keep people in line. In quite a few online Catholic groups, I have witnessed a spirit of groupthink that beats the members into conformity, afraid to raise their heads, lest they become targets.

While conflicts in these groups are avoided, it is at the expense of having a group of people who fear critically evaluating different viewpoints. New ideas–even if they are perfectly moral and acceptable to the Catholic Church–are supressed.

Ultimately, these little cults within Catholic society isolate themselves from the rest of the Church. And to keep the peace, they keep it rude and dumbed down.

It’s terrible, and I’m sick of it.

 

[JPUSC]

Amen.