I too think the OP has a valid point.
I think that Catholics are their own worst enemy not in that they’re not friendly or aren’t out there socializing before or after Mass, but it is because they don’t know their faith as they should. Not because there aren’t any door greeters at the front of the church.
I am guilty as charged in this respect.
Of personal observations (which may or may not be expanded to speak generally) is that people who convert over to Protestant churches initially do so due to belief, but then are welcomed in warmly. As social creatures (me, I’m not that social, personally) people like that. They enjoy it. I think this one sentence that someone I knew who converted from Catholicism to a local evangelical church gave me sums it up pretty well: “They pay attention to me there.”
I really felt for her. Because I do know how it can sometimes seem like Catholics are cliquish or unfriendly or cloistered. This isn’t really the case.
What also helps in taking sheep from the flock is the solid teaching many Catholics lack. When they go in search for truth and they come across a Protestant who is well versed in biblical verses, where as many Catholics just simply aren’t that way, it can have the appearance that the Protestant really knows what they’re talking about. Couple that with activities and a welcoming committee, gosh, who wouldn’t want to be a part of a God loving community who includes you?
So I can certainly see the appeal.
Catholics, from my experience, simply aren’t that way. This view that there is no welcoming committee is, IMO, a very Protestant view of church. I agree completely that our local parish should be the center of our social community extended from our intimate social community of our immediate and extended families (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) But I think that sometimes this gets hindered by what occurs at Mass and this is something that people who aren’t Catholic may not get or understand.
Catholics recognize that the Mass is a sacrifice. We have Jesus Christ Right There. The Mass is a culmunation of receiving Christ’s body and blood, soul and divinity. I think for a Catholic, there is the awe of having come in communion with Christ’s body through the Holy Eucharist. I don’t know about anyone else, but for me, it’s not that I’m not being friendly, it’s that I have just received Christ’s body and blood and I’m not about to stand around chat idly with people, especially people I don’t know. (This is actually exacurbated by the fact that I, personally, am very shy and I am NOT outgoing. I’m the one standing by the hors d’oeuvres and punch bowl at a party hoping no one would see me behind my bitty paper cup full of punch!)
However, I can relate to people who are not Catholic, with no understanding of the awesomeness of a Catholic Mass, and view worship as simply a place to gather, and
wanting interaction with the community but not receiving it, perceiving Catholics as being very unfriendly. I don’t think they
get what has just occurred. This can be especially true of people who do not believe that Communion is the real body and blood of Christ. I don’t know about any other Catholics here, but to me it always seems like the congregation is transformed after having received communion. There’s just something
“else” about us so I think that’s why we probably just dart on home or somewhere else. I mean really… we have become part of Christ’s body simply by partaking in communion. You can’t tell me that Catholics aren’t affected by that.
Further, when you’re not Catholic and you don’t understand what is going on at the Mass, it can seem confusing. It can also seem daunting for some when they do have an idea of Catholics the Holy Eucharist. I mean, how do you go up to someone and say, “Hey! Have a nice meal? I’m new!” Also, bear in mind that even some of the most friendly and outgoing people can still feel a bit shy when in a group of people they don’t know, seeing them dart off after having partaken in communion, to just go up to someone and start to introduce yourself. That in and of itself is intimidating and even has me a bit hyperventilated just writing it!
To the OP and other non-Catholic christians: Please don’t take Catholics as being unfriendly. We are not unfriendly. I think that what happens during the Mass transforms Catholics and so they’re in a different … way, so to speak. Give the parish a chance. Pick up a bulletin or go on the parish’s website. Further, look for an usher. They may be busy, but many ushers (who generally are men from what I’ve seen but each parish may be different) are married and could probably introduce you to their wives or brothers or sons, etc. Do this before Mass. Also, after Mass, chill out for a minute as most priests will go to the entrance of the church. They’re very approachable and will most likely know who to contact to become a part of the community.
I guess us Catholics simply just “know” this. Especially cradle Catholics as this is what we grow up with so we take it for granted.
Most Catholics would be more than OVER JOYED and HAPPY to see someone come in and honestly investigate the faith once we know who you are.
ETA:
I also wanted to add that pick up a parish bulletin or check out the parish website if they have one. I bet you there’s a committee or society at that parish that would be the equivalent of the “welcoming committee.”
As a cradle Catholic who has visited many parishes but has not been greeted at the door except for one church, I can certainly understand where the OP is coming from. For me, not being greeted is no big deal. If I
am greeted (as I was once at a local small Byzantine church) it felt … weird. I thought I was at a grocery store or something! LOL.
Anyway, we welcome all home. Just know that.
