Are devout Catholic women going to be less interested in me because I don't have a high paying job?

[WildCatholic]

Okay,so I plan on becoming a teacher. I feel a strong desire to marriage, but it feels like a lot of the very strong and devout Catholic women I know want to stay at home with the kids. Now I think its Awesome to stay at home, but the problem is, is that since I am a teacher, my salary isn’t going to be that great. Sure I won’t be poor, but it won’t be enough to support a decent sized (2-3 kids) family and my wife. I feel though like a lot of the more devout women want a guy who makes more money. Not because they are gold diggers or want to stay at home for that reason, but because traditionally the man is the breadwinner and the provider. So will making less money make me less attractive to devout Catholic women?

I know its a silly question, but I just want to see people’s opinions. Anyway i’m not too concerned now. I’m young (23) I still work a minimum wage job while subbing, so i’m in no shape to take care of a family now since I just graduated.

 

[boomerang]

So will making less money make me less attractive to devout Catholic women?

Making less money will make you less attractive to women who value money more than they value you. Who needs them anyway? Find a girl who doesn’t wear makeup or high heels. They’re lower maintenance. If she like to garden, and likes old cars, even better!

 

[chevalier]

Okay,so I plan on becoming a teacher. I feel a strong desire to marriage, but it feels like a lot of the very strong and devout Catholic women I know want to stay at home with the kids. Now I think its Awesome to stay at home, but the problem is, is that since I am a teacher, my salary isn’t going to be that great. Sure I won’t be poor, but it won’t be enough to support a decent sized (2-3 kids) family and my wife. I feel though like a lot of the more devout women want a guy who makes more money. Not because they are gold diggers or want to stay at home for that reason, but because traditionally the man is the breadwinner and the provider. So will making less money make me less attractive to devout Catholic women?

I know its a silly question, but I just want to see people’s opinions. Anyway i’m not too concerned now. I’m young (23) I still work a minimum wage job while subbing, so i’m in no shape to take care of a family now since I just graduated.

Well, a man with a less than ideal financial situation is probably in a similar place to a woman with less than model grade looks. Which means it’s gonna work but there’s gotta be put some effort in it.

You’d probably be getting some bonus points because a teacher is a respectable job and a very traditional one (pillar of community kind of thing), and one that brings up associations with being good with children. And those are all going to be qualities valued by your demographic.

 

[Rivii]

My opinion, as part of the “devout Catholic women” demographic, is no; money is immaterial Besides, teachers demonstrate a level of patience, humility, selflessness and “family man-liness” lol x) I’d take those qualities any time regardless of the man’s salary!

 

[Zekariya]

Find a girl who doesn’t wear makeup or high heels.

Add tomboyish to that and, that’s is my type of girl.

 

[Crescentinus]

Add tomboyish to that and, that’s is my type of girl.

I’m not into the overly tomboyish type though.

 

[Caroline723]

Okay,so I plan on becoming a teacher. I feel a strong desire to marriage, but it feels like a lot of the very strong and devout Catholic women I know want to stay at home with the kids. Now I think its Awesome to stay at home, but the problem is, is that since I am a teacher, my salary isn’t going to be that great. Sure I won’t be poor, but it won’t be enough to support a decent sized (2-3 kids) family and my wife. I feel though like a lot of the more devout women want a guy who makes more money. Not because they are gold diggers or want to stay at home for that reason, but because traditionally the man is the breadwinner and the provider. So will making less money make me less attractive to devout Catholic women?

I know its a silly question, but I just want to see people’s opinions. Anyway i’m not too concerned now. I’m young (23) I still work a minimum wage job while subbing, so i’m in no shape to take care of a family now since I just graduated.

If someone cares for you, she will not walk away because your earning potential is lower than that of someone on wall street. I would be wary of a girl who thinks it is your sole responsibility to support a family. A husband and wife are a team, and both work to create and support a home. While ideally she may desire to stay home, she should be open to the concept that she might need to work part-time or something, and that is something that should be discussed before marriage. I know multiple couples who do this, and it works out just fine. I think there is something wrong with women who are absolutely opposed to that idea. You should both be clear on what your standard of living is, and if you both value a higher standard, which means you both work, or a frugal lifestyle, which your salary may afford.

I think how a man handles his money is of greater concern than how much he earns. And you are so young - start saving! You will be glad later on that you did.

 

[eonporter]

Okay,so I plan on becoming a teacher. I feel a strong desire to marriage, but it feels like a lot of the very strong and devout Catholic women I know want to stay at home with the kids. Now I think its Awesome to stay at home, but the problem is, is that since I am a teacher, my salary isn’t going to be that great. Sure I won’t be poor, but it won’t be enough to support a decent sized (2-3 kids) family and my wife. I feel though like a lot of the more devout women want a guy who makes more money. Not because they are gold diggers or want to stay at home for that reason, but because traditionally the man is the breadwinner and the provider. So will making less money make me less attractive to devout Catholic women?

I know its a silly question, but I just want to see people’s opinions. Anyway i’m not too concerned now. I’m young (23) I still work a minimum wage job while subbing, so i’m in no shape to take care of a family now since I just graduated.

My experience with that is interesting. Until I became catholic I used to think that all women really valued money (or financial stability at least) more than other traces of personality. Including catholic women. I really did.

The thuth is that being a devout catholic nowadays makes you more attractive to devout catholic woman than you can imagine.

Just think how much your faith is important to you, and how much it is important to find a person who will support this faith, live it with you, and pass it on to your children. It’s the same on the feminine perspective.

My point is, being a teacher or not, your real competitors for truly catholic women are truly catholic men. These are the ones they will be looking at first, and that means that just keeping your faith is one of the most valuable goods that you will ever had.

So, I would say: Choose whatever career that you want, be a faithful servant of God, and He will provide you a good wife and whatever resources you need to build your family with her!

 

[Rivii]

My experience with that is interesting. Until I became catholic I used to think that all women really valued money (or financial stability at least) more than other traces of personality. Including catholic women. I really did.

The thuth is that being a devout catholic nowadays makes you more attractive to devout catholic woman than you can imagine.

Just think how much your faith is important to you, and how much it is important to find a person who will support this faith, live it with you, and pass it on to your children. It’s the same on the feminine perspective.

My point is, being a teacher or not, your real competitors for truly catholic women are truly catholic men. These are the ones they will be looking at first, and that means that just keeping your faith is one of the most valuable goods that you will ever had.

So, I would say: Choose whatever career that you want, be a faithful servant of God, and He will provide you a good wife and whatever resources you need to build your family with her!

Very well said!

 

[PaulinVA]

It really depends on what kind of person you are, and how you spend your time.

Also, what do you do with those three months a year you are not getting paid for? Remember, teachers are paid for working 3/4 of a year. You can work the other quarter if you judiciously make contacts and develop skills.

 

[PatriceA]

Okay,so I plan on becoming a teacher. I feel a strong desire to marriage, but it feels like a lot of the very strong and devout Catholic women I know want to stay at home with the kids. Now I think its Awesome to stay at home, but the problem is, is that since I am a teacher, my salary isn’t going to be that great. Sure I won’t be poor, but it won’t be enough to support a decent sized (2-3 kids) family and my wife. I feel though like a lot of the more devout women want a guy who makes more money. Not because they are gold diggers or want to stay at home for that reason, but because traditionally the man is the breadwinner and the provider. So will making less money make me less attractive to devout Catholic women?

I know its a silly question, but I just want to see people’s opinions. Anyway i’m not too concerned now. I’m young (23) I still work a minimum wage job while subbing, so i’m in no shape to take care of a family now since I just graduated.

Well, I think you have several issues to consider. One, your salary could very well be enough for a family to live on, depends upon the couple’s priorities, the economy where you live, your lifestyle, etc, etc. My husband’s best friend is a teacher and his wife stayed home the first 8 years of their marriage and they’ve created a nice modest life for themselves. She’s recently gone back to work to be a part time teacher’s aide because she wanted a “challenge”, not due to financial issues. They have two children by the way.

Second, not every devout Catholic girl wants to stay at home. Not every Catholic guy wants their wife to stay at home. What do YOU want, that’s more important than what 10, 20 or a 100 devout Catholic girls want. You’re only looking for one Catholic girl to settle down with, and what she wants and what you want is the only thing that matters.

 

[on_the_hill]

So will making less money make me less attractive to devout Catholic women?

It will make you less attractive to women who value money, regardless of their religious beliefs.

*Especially * if you wear your low salary like a millstone around your neck.

Which is more attractive? WildCatholic who says, “Hi, would you like to go out on a date? Make it somewhere cheap because, unfortunately, I’m only a low paid teacher.”

Or WildCatholic who says, “Hi, I’m a teacher. I am dedicated to helping young people learn and explore the world around them. It’s exciting, rewarding, and the hardest job I’ve ever done but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’d love to have dinner with you sometime so you can tell me what wonderful things are going on in your life.”

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

Even large families can live on a teacher’s income. Working in the summer, taking on extra responsibilities in the after school time, are all ways that a teacher can increase his pay. Location may affect whether or not it is possible, but considering the fact that teachers are needed everywhere, if it is important enough, one can find a job in a place where the standard of living isn’t ridiculous.

 

[hsmomforlife]

I was going to tell you about a teacher that I had in high school, but thought that his recent obit says it better than I could.

For those who don’t want to read the whole thing…he raised 8 biological children, 7 adoptees and was also a foster parent. He didn’t become a highschool teacher until he already had a few children.

Just read the quotes from his wife…

 

[SonSearcher]

Okay,so I plan on becoming a teacher. I feel a strong desire to marriage, but it feels like a lot of the very strong and devout Catholic women I know want to stay at home with the kids. Now I think its Awesome to stay at home, but the problem is, is that since I am a teacher, my salary isn’t going to be that great. Sure I won’t be poor, but it won’t be enough to support a decent sized (2-3 kids) family and my wife. I feel though like a lot of the more devout women want a guy who makes more money. Not because they are gold diggers or want to stay at home for that reason, but because traditionally the man is the breadwinner and the provider. So will making less money make me less attractive to devout Catholic women?

I know its a silly question, but I just want to see people’s opinions. Anyway i’m not too concerned now. I’m young (23) I still work a minimum wage job while subbing, so i’m in no shape to take care of a family now since I just graduated.

You want a lady who will honor you for who you are and who you become through Jesus Christ. Girls like that don’t put money high on the radar. I am married to a woman of grace…believe me she did not marry me for money. ( I am a teacher)

Hang in there be open to who God puts in your path. He is sending you someone wonderful.

 

[gardenswithkids]

You don’t need to attract all devout Catholic women–if you wish to marry, you just need** one** devout Catholic woman.

 

[1ke]

Okay,so I plan on becoming a teacher. I feel a strong desire to marriage, but it feels like a lot of the very strong and devout Catholic women I know want to stay at home with the kids.

Many do. Not all.

Now I think its Awesome to stay at home, but the problem is, is that since I am a teacher, my salary isn’t going to be that great. Sure I won’t be poor, but it won’t be enough to support a decent sized (2-3 kids) family and my wife.

Hmmm, one of our parishioners is a teacher in a public school. He and his wife have 6 children. She stays at home. The school age children go to Catholic school.

They have decided what is important to them, prioritized it, and made it happen. You and your future spouse will have to do the same.

I feel though like a lot of the more devout women want a guy who makes more money. Not because they are gold diggers or want to stay at home for that reason, but because traditionally the man is the breadwinner and the provider. So will making less money make me less attractive to devout Catholic women?

It depends on the woman.

I know its a silly question, but I just want to see people’s opinions. Anyway i’m not too concerned now. I’m young (23) I still work a minimum wage job while subbing, so i’m in no shape to take care of a family now since I just graduated.

I think what is important is that you find the right woman* for you*. Any woman who disqualifies you based on your occupation or income is not the right woman for you. It is not a reflection on you, but an honest assessment by the woman on what is right for her.

The right woman will love you as you are, and your occupation. You and she will work together to form your family, make living and working arrangements that make sense for you, and act accordingly.

But, I also caution you to step away from the “I am a teacher, I will be poor” stereotype. It simply is not necessarily true. There are many teachers who make a fine salary, and also supplement their income in summers, or who move on to become administrators. You cannot say what the future holds.

 

[Sarabande]

Okay,so I plan on becoming a teacher. I feel a strong desire to marriage, but it feels like a lot of the very strong and devout Catholic women I know want to stay at home with the kids. Now I think its Awesome to stay at home, but the problem is, is that since I am a teacher, my salary isn’t going to be that great. Sure I won’t be poor, but it won’t be enough to support a decent sized (2-3 kids) family and my wife. I feel though like a lot of the more devout women want a guy who makes more money. Not because they are gold diggers or want to stay at home for that reason, but because traditionally the man is the breadwinner and the provider. So will making less money make me less attractive to devout Catholic women?

I know its a silly question, but I just want to see people’s opinions. Anyway i’m not too concerned now. I’m young (23) I still work a minimum wage job while subbing, so i’m in no shape to take care of a family now since I just graduated.

No, it wouldn’t make you less attractive. Before I was married and still dating, I looked for a man who was devout, but his character was also very important. Was he genuinely kind? Did he have integrity? Was he genuinely humble? Did he have a good sense of humour and can laugh at himself? Was he patient? Was he compassionate, caring? Was he passionate about life? Was he loving? Did he feel deeply? Did he give people the benefit of the doubt and was not quick to judge? If they didn’t have those other “Christian” qualities, I was not interested.

After being a devout Catholic and having those other characteristics, I looked for if he was intelligent, if I could I have a good time with him as well has have meaningful conversations with him, if we shared similar likes and dislikes? Making lots of money wasn’t really important to me. What was important in terms of finances was if he was a hard worker. He couldn’t be lazy. Hard workers, no matter what field they were in, would do whatever it took to make ends meet. He didn’t have to make a boatload of money. I didn’t want to marry someone where I would end up having to support everyone because he didn’t like to work. I didn’t mind working and helping to support a home and family WITH my husband. I had to be sure that the man I chose wouldn’t be someone who’d sit on his laurels. I also wanted to be home with our children when they were young because I thought it was important to have at least one parent home early on. Now, I know that is not always possible, but that was the ideal for me.

 

[Sarabande]

BTW - I think being a teacher is a wonderful profession and a very important one as well. I know that it’s not always the case, but when I think of teachers, I think of them as people who like children and care about them. That would be a plus in my book if I was single and met a nice, young single man who told me he was a teacher. I’d be very interested in what he taught and his experiences with the children, what he loved about teaching, etc.

 

[Sarabande]

I think what is important is that you find the right woman* for you*. Any woman who disqualifies you based on your occupation or income is not the right woman for you. It is not a reflection on you, but an honest assessment by the woman on what is right for her.

The right woman will love you as you are, and your occupation. You and she will work together to form your family, make living and working arrangements that make sense for you, and act accordingly.

So true.

But, I also caution you to step away from the “I am a teacher, I will be poor” stereotype. It simply is not necessarily true. There are many teachers who make a fine salary, and also supplement their income in summers, or who move on to become administrators. You cannot say what the future holds.

Also true. In my school district, for instance, the teachers have the best paid salaries in the state. The veteran teachers make about $80,000/yr, which is much more than what my husband and I make put together and is considered good money here. Starting salary (at least a few years ago) was $50,000, so you could definitely raise a family on those salaries. BUT it really does depend on where you live. $50,000 would be the equivalent of making $20,000 in some places.