@ InSearchofGrace;
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My sister and her husband have the stated policy of “Love the sinner, hate the sin.” From witnessing the dynamic between these tow people and their homosexual son, I’d have to say that there is a palpable backwash of feelings that is intense enough that my nephew felt he had to move to another state in order to escape it. And that is given that his parents do actually love him and he loves them. But there is this elephant in the room no matter what. And while my nephew identifies with the elephant, necessarily, as it is his inborn nature, my sister and brother in law love him with the exception of that part of him. So the message that he gets and won’t admit to his parents it that he knows that their love is not unconditional, despite that they would do anything for him.
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I understand you feel for your nephew. Your sister and husband love their son in the true spirit of parental love, as my parents loved my homosexual brother in the same spirit. Are you saying this is the wrong way to love one’s child? If you had your own son or daughter, would you give your blessing to a homosexual union, if such union is his/her inclination? For Catholic parents and those who accept natural law, it is not about winning the argument. It is about saving the soul of their son or daughter.
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And this is the elephant in the room with everyone who is either phobic or even sincere in their convictions. They will not accept as integral to the person they are dealing with a factor that to them is an inescapable part of their nature. And for that inescapably part, because it is way in the minority and repulsive emotionally to so many, they are perforce emotionally persecuted, even unwittingly by those who may have very good intentions. And the Church says “Well, that’s a hard lot, but you have to live with it and never engage in that part of human intimacy that for most of us means love itself. Tough cookies.”
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You make it sound that sexual urge is not to be denied, ever, that it needs expression, that gratification has to be the end. When a person, straight or gay, enters a forbidden sexual relation, if he listens to that inner voice, does he not reach a point of realizing its wrongness, wish for atonement and correction? Does he not believe in redemption?
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As near as I can tell, ISoG, there are more like 12 gender orientations, far more likely than the two generally recognized, similarly to the idea that while the general blood types are recognized those have as well their subtypes and multitudinous variations. The broad types are generally for the purposes of safeguarding from toxic combination. And some of them are rarer than others. So it is clear on inspection that there is more of a spectrum of orientations than the either/or that the digital tendencies of the brain, and law, like to deal in.
And even the Church is unclear as to the actual origin of the condition and lacking that etiology already claims it to be a disorder based on what may in the long run prove to be far more of sociological sanctions than anything actually divine. One of the most profound things I ever heard in this regard was from a trance medium of astonishing accuracy who said that “Any message from the other side is necessarily tainted by the lens of the mediums personality.” Indeed, the entire realm of interpretation of the inner life is one of just that: interpretation. A comparison of the great mystics of the Church amongst each other and even of those outside the Church may be very useful in this consideration.
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The Church officially said that “the psychological genesis of homosexuality is largely unknown”. But she maintains that “the inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s cross the difficulties that they may encounter from their condition.”
It is evident in your statements that you do not trust the teaching authority of the Church and you do not agree with Church position on homosexuality. My prayer for you is that you find your way back in fidelity to the Church in this regard.
Btw, the part of your post which I bolded is vague (referring to the trance medium and great mystics of the Church). St. Paul warned of private interpretation of sacred Scripture; as Church history proved, this was the root of heresies including Protestantism and the splinter into the 30,000 plus denominations, which you touched on in a previous post. As to the mystics of the Church, I hope you are cautious in extending credibility to sources aimed to discredit and weaken the Church with untruths.
All that is to say that in my conscience, whatever the official stance of the Church may be by force of momentum, there is a whole lot more latitude deserved in this issue than it is being ecclesiastically given from an official position. And I will stand before God as my judge with that and own it.
You mistake that the stance of the Church is by force of momentum. Please read that link I provided to you. It’s a brief read. That being said, I pray that the Holy Spirit comes to you in further discernment of the matter.
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You know who you are. 
