Are most of your friends the same religion as you?

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Crusader30 said:
Catholic parishes are not places to make friends but are only for the Worship of Christ.

Friendship is best attained outside of the Mass
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I have to say I agree with this. It’s quite a culture shock to move from a Protestant setting, where a church service is almost entirely designed to be a place for building relationships to going to Mass where it is completely possible to attend for years and never speak to anyone bar the sharing of the peace.

At first I was taken aback because of how I had been conditioned by years of Evangelical and Anglican churches. But eventually I learned that Catholics are just as welcoming as other Christians, they just do their relationship building outside the setting of the Mass which has a whole other purpose.
 
I prefer to have friends who are Christian. They don’t necessarily have to be Catholic, as long as they don’t have bad attitude toward Catholics or other Christians. I find that it is just as frustrating to try and change other people as for them to try to change me.
 
Catholics can be tricky to find outside a parish when Catholics are a small minority of the population.
 
Crusader30 said:
Catholic parishes are not places to make friends but are only for the Worship of Christ.

Friendship is best attained outside of the Mass
Click to expand...
I agree wholeheartedly with the second sentence, but there are other ways that parishes can (help) facilitate good relationships between members besides making Mass itself into a social thing.

I’m not sure what the answer is, but I don’t think the status quo is good, and I think it’s a relic from the fact that for over a thousand years it was easy to form relationships with fellow Catholics in one’s secular life, because we were everywhere. Now it’s not like that.

If a Catholic has an easier time making friends with his co-workers, class mates, or other such places than he does with his fellow parishioners if they don’t happen to work with him or be his relatives or anything like that, then I think something is amiss, and I don’t think it’s just with that parishioner himself. Good relationships with fellow Catholics shouldn’t be only due to happenstance (same workplace, shared family, went to school together, etc.) but should be pretty much part and parcel to being Catholic. We’re not just an institution, but a body of believers, a family united by a common Father. Mass should never be a social gathering, but nor should social/relationship needs be left to chance or the social savvy of each individual believer. A man who has no Catholic co-workers, no Catholic relatives, etc., should still find it significantly easier to find friendship and spiritual family among his fellow Catholics than among the general population, and if parish life is such that this is not the case, I don’t think we can just say that’s not what Church is for. That’s not what the Mass is for, but being able to facilitate warm, loving relationships among our parishioners (“Look how they love each other!”) is nonetheless an important part of what it means to be One Body.
 
evangelical said:
Are most of your friends the same religion as you?

How do your non religious friends view you?

Do you try to influence your friend’s ?
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  1. I go to a Catholic School where most of my friends are accepting of gay marriage, maybe abortion (not completely sure, though some do try to find a justification), but i think most still call themselves Catholic.
  2. They probably view me as a conservative, religious guy (i dont really know).
  3. When certain topics arise where i have to defend my views on not accepting gay marriage or abortion, i do try a little to influence them to my side of the argument.
 
Just to add, it’s all very well taking the attitude that parishes are not for making friends but we are required to have practicing Catholic Godparents for children and sponsors for confirmation. I don’t mind being expected to walk alone with my faith but to then suddenly have to come up with a Catholic friend seems unreasonable.
 
1: Nope! In fact, I only know two other young Catholics (it’s ridiculously hard to meet other young Catholics), and only one of them really talks, but she’s one of my best friends (the other is very quiet.)
2: The protestant friends don’t seem to care for the most part, however, some atheist friends try to futilely change my mind. Nope! I know the Truth. I’ll never budge! 🙂
3: No. They won’t listen, and if I did I’d probably do more harm than good. I work in response only in regards to faith questions. Bringing them up is being pointlessly aggressive and drives people away (ala street preachers.)
 
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True, @ConfusedLucy. Plus, when we marry, we are ideally to find faithful Catholic spouses. And our kids will have to do the same. And then we want to surround our kids with good examples, etc. There’s so much of the devout, practicing religious life that practically requires good relationships with other Catholics (unless you’re a hermit) that, as you say, it’s unreasonable (VERY much so, I would add) to expect that to be tenable when for forging those relationships we’re as much on our own as we would be anywhere else.
 
  1. No - the majority of my friends predate my decision to join the church, and most were very unhappy with my decision to join.
  2. Varies from ambivalence to hostility
  3. Nope - I live my life and let my joy show through and be whatever influence it can be
 
There definitely needs to be more understanding for Catholics who have no choice but to practice alone because we don’t have friends or family that share our faith.
 
  1. No my wife and I are the only Catholics is our family and friends (There are a few non- Catholic Christians though)
  2. Varies I Suppose
  3. I try to be a positive influence and bring up the faith when appropriate.
 
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