Are my thoughts about Jesus wrong?

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DevotedChild24

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This might be an awkward question, I apologize. I want to ask anonymously cause I honestly feel a lot of guilt about this and I’d be scared if anyone I know in real life found out what I’m about to say. I would ask a priest but I don’t know how to phrase it concisely if I’m talking, not writing.Maybe there are others here who have gone through this too.

Sometimes I have thoughts about Jesus that are not obviously impure or sexual, but are maybe inappropriate. They seem too passionate or something. Like I get an intense physical longing to embrace Jesus, and I get images of Him and I like this. For example I want to look into His eyes, put my arms around Him, and rest my head near His heart and maybe that’s not so bad but then sometimes I want to kiss Him but in a too passionate way. Though not exactly like how couples kiss. 😮 There are many times when I don’t experience love for Jesus in this way but sometimes I do one time even after Communion. At the time it doesn’t seem wrong but afterwards I feel bad and like I disrespected Him. Maybe that’s because these feelings are so physical and not just spiritual. Normally I don’t get aroused though and when that happens I push it away, I know that is wrong and I don’t want it at all. I don’t know what to do about the thoughts. It’s like there’s this desire to just be able to be very close to Him but I don’t know if it’s in the wrong way. The more I imagine Him the more I feel it. It kind of feels like being in love with someone but I’ve never felt so intensely about anyone else in my life; and it causes me pain too because I can’t actually see or touch Him. I don’t even know what Jesus thinks of all this, I don’t want to offend Him. I think there’s another part to it where I just want real spiritual union with Jesus and really want Communion and to be one with Him, because I think about this too.

Please help? 😮 and in case anyone is wondering I am female. I’m very scared of sinning or being deceived. If these thoughts are not impure, I still might be sinning by being so selfish, I would rather seek to please Jesus than myself, but I dwell on these thoughts because of the way they feel. 😮 Please tell me, is it wrong to want the things I described? Is it based on reality, like could it actually happen when we meet Jesus? I’ve worried about this for several years because even when what I described doesn’t happen, I still want so much for Jesus to hug me but the way I imagine it, it always goes beyond the way people generally hug each other. It’s more like just being in His arms really. Please tell me have I written some sort of heresy here?

😊
 
I think your problems are phychological and not spiritual in nature. I’ve read about people in similar situations. I’d suggest seeing a psychologist who is a practicing catholic if the problem has been ongoing.
 
DevotedChild24 said:
This might be an awkward question, I apologize. I want to ask anonymously cause I honestly feel a lot of guilt about this and I’d be scared if anyone I know in real life found out what I’m about to say. I would ask a priest but I don’t know how to phrase it concisely if I’m talking, not writing.Maybe there are others here who have gone through this too.

Sometimes I have thoughts about Jesus that are not obviously impure or sexual, but are maybe inappropriate. They seem too passionate or something. Like I get an intense physical longing to embrace Jesus, and I get images of Him and I like this. For example I want to look into His eyes, put my arms around Him, and rest my head near His heart and maybe that’s not so bad but then sometimes I want to kiss Him but in a too passionate way. Though not exactly like how couples kiss. 😮 There are many times when I don’t experience love for Jesus in this way but sometimes I do one time even after Communion. At the time it doesn’t seem wrong but afterwards I feel bad and like I disrespected Him. Maybe that’s because these feelings are so physical and not just spiritual. Normally I don’t get aroused though and when that happens I push it away, I know that is wrong and I don’t want it at all. I don’t know what to do about the thoughts. It’s like there’s this desire to just be able to be very close to Him but I don’t know if it’s in the wrong way. The more I imagine Him the more I feel it. It kind of feels like being in love with someone but I’ve never felt so intensely about anyone else in my life; and it causes me pain too because I can’t actually see or touch Him. I don’t even know what Jesus thinks of all this, I don’t want to offend Him. I think there’s another part to it where I just want real spiritual union with Jesus and really want Communion and to be one with Him, because I think about this too.

Please help? 😮 and in case anyone is wondering I am female. I’m very scared of sinning or being deceived. If these thoughts are not impure, I still might be sinning by being so selfish, I would rather seek to please Jesus than myself, but I dwell on these thoughts because of the way they feel. 😮 Please tell me, is it wrong to want the things I described? Is it based on reality, like could it actually happen when we meet Jesus? I’ve worried about this for several years because even when what I described doesn’t happen, I still want so much for Jesus to hug me but the way I imagine it, it always goes beyond the way people generally hug each other. It’s more like just being in His arms really. Please tell me have I written some sort of heresy here?

😊
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There was a discussion on these forums about this not too long ago–you are not the only one. I can’t remember the thread title, you could try a search. In any case, some of the Saints have written things along these lines–the intense desire for union with Jesus, and yes, this spiritual experience can become quite physical. Maybe someone else will chime in.
 
It is quite natural to want to hug Jesus etc but when it turns to passion and sexual, beware it is not the Jesus of the Bible (2 Cor 11:3)… 2 I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him. 3 But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. 4 For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the one you received, or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough.
Pray hard and ask Mother Mary for her intervention and intercession. She truly is also your Mother and Queen. God bless.
 
Yes I believe they are very abnormal. Seek professional help. I would suggest you see a pyscologist and psyciatrist. Good luck!
 
Where does anybody else see mental illness in here? I thought the article was well-written and self-explanatory, and I didn’t get that from it. Of course I’m not a doctor, but it doesn’t sound all that weird to me. Isn’t it fairly common for women to have feelings for authority figures or other men they admire? Maybe I missed something.

Alan
 
DevotedChild24 said:
This might be an awkward question, I apologize. I want to ask anonymously cause I honestly feel a lot of guilt about this and I’d be scared if anyone I know in real life found out what I’m about to say. I would ask a priest but I don’t know how to phrase it concisely if I’m talking, not writing.Maybe there are others here who have gone through this too.

Sometimes I have thoughts about Jesus that are not obviously impure or sexual, but are maybe inappropriate. They seem too passionate or something. Like I get an intense physical longing to embrace Jesus, and I get images of Him and I like this. For example I want to look into His eyes, put my arms around Him, and rest my head near His heart and maybe that’s not so bad but then sometimes I want to kiss Him but in a too passionate way. Though not exactly like how couples kiss. 😮 There are many times when I don’t experience love for Jesus in this way but sometimes I do one time even after Communion. At the time it doesn’t seem wrong but afterwards I feel bad and like I disrespected Him. Maybe that’s because these feelings are so physical and not just spiritual. Normally I don’t get aroused though and when that happens I push it away, I know that is wrong and I don’t want it at all. I don’t know what to do about the thoughts. It’s like there’s this desire to just be able to be very close to Him but I don’t know if it’s in the wrong way. The more I imagine Him the more I feel it. It kind of feels like being in love with someone but I’ve never felt so intensely about anyone else in my life; and it causes me pain too because I can’t actually see or touch Him. I don’t even know what Jesus thinks of all this, I don’t want to offend Him. I think there’s another part to it where I just want real spiritual union with Jesus and really want Communion and to be one with Him, because I think about this too.

Please help? 😮 and in case anyone is wondering I am female. I’m very scared of sinning or being deceived. If these thoughts are not impure, I still might be sinning by being so selfish, I would rather seek to please Jesus than myself, but I dwell on these thoughts because of the way they feel. 😮 Please tell me, is it wrong to want the things I described? Is it based on reality, like could it actually happen when we meet Jesus? I’ve worried about this for several years because even when what I described doesn’t happen, I still want so much for Jesus to hug me but the way I imagine it, it always goes beyond the way people generally hug each other. It’s more like just being in His arms really. Please tell me have I written some sort of heresy here?

😊
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I actually often feel so glad and adoring how good he has been to me that I want to give him a huge hug like a child hugs a loving parent, I also have a picture of his Sacred Heart image on my wall and I love looking into his eyes because they are so filled with compassion and radiating unconditional love. Note that I am a 100% straight male. I even get nauseous at the thought of two men having a relationship. I think that your feelings are understandable except for the kissing part. You must remind yourself that he is your heavenly brother, and you are his sister. I hope that helps. God bless.

gabriel
 
I believe the earlier thread about this topic that someone mentioned was one that was started by me. I’m a straight young man and I have had these feelings come upon me as well, with arousal and everything. I believe the conclusion that we came to on the other thread is that while a Christian is still somewhat carnal these spiritual experiences of what we might call a desire for total union will cause sensual feelings. However, I wouldn’t be concerned about sin, so long as you aren’t lusting for Jesus directly and fantasizing about such things. The Lord is touching your soul in a special way to draw you closer to Him, but not it’s not so strange since these rapturous moments are very common in Roman Catholic tradition (one saint actually had a vision of himself suckling Mary’s breast!) They’re referred to under the title of bridal mysticism. If you accept these favors you’ll most likely be led to a more mystical path in the Christian life, and I must warn you that severe trials lie upon that path but they are trials that will purify you to a level of union with God that many Catholics are not willing to strive and suffer for.

So you’re very blessed, and I would accept these experiences as a sign of divine favor (but don’t stoke any sexual impulses), and find yourself a very trustworthy spiritual director and submit to them because if you do accept this call to mysticism God will allow your life to get kind of crazy to strengthen you in virtue and union.

Also, do not seek or desire any kind of experiences because Satan will be up your butt with them like a monkey’s uncle! If they happen they happen, and turn them over to the spiritual director. And I may say as well that you shouldn’t expect the mystical life to be a a laser light show. It’s actually the normal path of Christian development, but you and I seem to be called to go further along it than others.
 
CB_Catholic said:
There was a discussion on these forums about this not too long ago–you are not the only one. I can’t remember the thread title, you could try a search. In any case, some of the Saints have written things along these lines–the intense desire for union with Jesus, and yes, this spiritual experience can become quite physical. Maybe someone else will chime in.
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I tried to do a search to help find that discussion, but I really felt uneasy and icky plugging in possible phrases and when I couldn’t find the discussion after several searches, I quit. The only one I could find was the one below and I can’t do it anymore.

i know someone who is attracted to Jesus
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=133478
 
CB_Catholic said:
There was a discussion on these forums about this not too long ago–you are not the only one. I can’t remember the thread title, you could try a search. In any case, some of the Saints have written things along these lines–the intense desire for union with Jesus, and yes, this spiritual experience can become quite physical. Maybe someone else will chime in.
Click to expand...
SwizzleStick said:
I tried to do a search to help find that discussion, but I really felt uneasy and icky plugging in possible phrases and when I couldn’t find the discussion after several searches, I quit. The only one I could find was the one below and I can’t do it anymore.

i know someone who is attracted to Jesus
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=133478
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WoundedIcon said:
I believe the earlier thread about this topic that someone mentioned was one that was started by me. …
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The last entry above helped me find the discussion, so here is the link below. I started my search before I read the entire thread, so I could have saved you time, OP, and myself the uneasy feelings if only I’d read all the way through first. Sorry.

I’m Dealing With Something Really Weird
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=588811
 
I have very similar feelings. These aren’t bad! Yes if you get impure thoughts it’s clearly the enemy trying to take your longing to be united with Jesus and twisting it, so immediately pray and banish those thoughts. But Jesus loves us passionately. Song of Songs anyone? Mary M pouring out her year’s salary worth of ointment on His feet and cleaning them with her hair? Jesus suffering and dying for our sins? These are not examples of a formal God who wants us to coolly love him from a careful distance. I’m pretty sure he became human so to be so close to us as to take on every experience we had. Everyone I know, men or women, who really loves Jesus a lot has a deep desire to just hug him or stuff you talked about. Please don’t feel like it is bad. G K Chesterton talked a lot about the deep romance of God. A lot of Saints describe this longing too. I feel in love with Jesus and I think that’s good. I agree with WoundedIcon especially dont seek mystical experiences for their own sake or Satan will give trick ones. Happened to me kind of. Now I’m more careful. But love Jesus with all your heart, soul, mind…
 
I didn’t expect so many replies :o thanks!
I am puzzled by the posts that say I need psychological help. I don’t know… do people think this? I have to clarify one thing. I competely agree that if the thoughts are sexual, they aren’t right. A few times, if it does become something sexual, I don’t really agree or consent. But I need to clarify I don’t see Jesus or talk about Him like how girls or women talk about a man they are attracted to. Like you know how they say “he has such a nice body” that’s the example from the link someone here posted. I would never ever talk about Jesus that way 😮 What I actually mean is when I understand His love for me more, I get a strong desire to experience it directly so I want to see Jesus, for Him to look at me, to be able to speak with Him, look at the expression in His eyes, and so on. And I want Him to hug me but what I meant is that I don’t want this to be cold and I want to actually stay in His embrace for a while. 😮 the only part of this that becomes questionable to me is wanting to kiss Jesus, but I don’t mean kissing like how couples kiss, not even on the mouth. While I’m thinking of all this, I just feel an intense love for Him but I’m worried if this is appropriate because it’s such a physical longing as well, but it’s not overtly sexual and I don’t get aroused except extremely rarely and then I push it away cause I hate that. If someone talked about sex in this context that would freak me out.:eek: I don’t mean sex. If a thought like that comes to me then everything I feel goes away instantly and I don’t like the thought or agree. Okay does this change anything? Another thing I should mention is that although of course as I’m a straight female, I get attracted to guys, but that is a very different experience and I don’t think I could ever love someone in the same way I love Jesus. But do I love Jesus incorrectly? There are many times when this imagery is not present and I just feel love for Him in my heart and His presence and that is enough. This is not something that occurs regularly but sometimes.
 
I found a picture that sort of illustrates what I mean. Don’t worry it’s nothing bad at all, it’s an old Catholic holy card. seatofwisdom.com/KissofJesus.jpg so normally I would look at a picture of this type and just think, Jesus is very kind to us, He gives Himself in Communion, it’s just wonderful being near Him because He loves us. And of course that I would want to be the person in the picture that Jesus is embracing. But in the times when I described before, it’s like that too but I feel a very strong longing to be like that person and it’s not just intellectual or spiritual but physical as well. But I don’t see the feeling or the image as something sexual, and I don’t feel aroused. I know I struggled with lust before long ago, and it’s different. With lust it’s like it’s all about sex, but here I don’t want that at all I just want to be near Jesus who loves me and feel His love. The part that causes me to doubt is that this desire is still on a physical level, I mean I want to see and touch Him and actually feel Him close to me and not just far away.

😊 It’s kind of hard writing about this. I don’t even know how to say any of this out loud and not anonymously. I think I should mention in confession the times when the imagery or my feelings did become a bit too much or when they became temptations. But how do I describe the rest of it, to ask the priest if it’s okay? I don’t know which words to choose and what to say if he asks for an example.
 
You aren’t messed up. God desires intimate union with us and we should with Him. Only we just have to realize it’s not sexual in nature it far surpasses that. Our bodies maybe make us feel like intense union is always sexual but loving God is far greater.
I really am shocked any Catholic thinks the desire to be united to Christ is disordered. Our entire faith exists to unite us to Christ. He even lets us consume His body and blood. The Church is Jesus’ bride, everywhere is marriage metaphors reflecting God’s love for us. If our minds picure hugging or kissing Jesus non-sexually of course, is is just our human way of expressing love. Sometimes I love Jesus so much I tell Him I want to marry him…obviously I don’t literally want to have a wedding ceremony etc I just am using my limited human words to express the extent of my love and commitment to Him.
I’m so confused how this sort of thing can be called abnormal. The whole faith sacraments etc are to bring us intimately close to Jesus.
 
Erine, thank you for your post! Yes I have this too but at times I was afraid something is wrong with me. Also thanks to WoundedIcon for the suggestion that something good can come from this!

I was praying now and I think Jesus helped me! 😃 I have such a hard time describing all these things but I’ll try to say what I felt during prayer. It’s like He gave me light on the entire situation. I thought of how when I think about marriage, I get that it’s a type of self giving and a path to holiness, but I only get tempted to lustful thoughts if I forget that and think of sex but in a really selfish kind of way. Maybe that is what lust is, I mean when people turn romantic love into something self seeking and it becomes all about how they feel. I read about this before several times. Well with my thoughts about Jesus, I didn’t actually want to think about something sexual like I said that would freak me out. But the overwhelming sort of physical longing to be close to Him only came when I focused exceedingly on my own feelings and wanting very much to experience more of His love. It’s like I was seeking consolation too much. I think on a deeper level this probably comes from love for Jesus because I believe His love is so strong. But when I think about these same things, like hugging Jesus, but I focus on making Him happy, it’s very loving but not passionate anymore. It feels like something pure though the images don’t change very much. It even feels more intimate than before, not less, though I don’t know why. I read in a book by St Therese of Lisieux how she didn’t even care if she felt anything when she prayed she just wanted to make Jesus happy and that was enough. That is so incredibly beautiful and I want to be like her! And then it doesn’t even matter so much how we feel, we can even suffer a lot but still love Jesus and be very close to Him. Am I making sense here??
 
erine said:
You aren’t messed up. God desires intimate union with us and we should with Him. Only we just have to realize it’s not sexual in nature it far surpasses that. Our bodies maybe make us feel like intense union is always sexual but loving God is far greater.
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I totally agree; even though for the most part the thoughts I had weren’t sexual they were still kind of really passionate, but I was afraid for a bit that my relationship with Jesus would be lesser if I gave them up. It’s like I feared the thoughts but feared losing them too. 😛 But now I see it wouldn’t be lesser because union with Him is greater than that. I think I limited His love to something more tangible and then my body got confused in some way 😮 but what we can experience in the soul is greater? I do think the thoughts came from a desire for union with Jesus.
I really am shocked any Catholic thinks the desire to be united to Christ is disordered. Our entire faith exists to unite us to Christ. He even lets us consume His body and blood. The Church is Jesus’ bride, everywhere is marriage metaphors reflecting God’s love for us. If our minds picure hugging or kissing Jesus non-sexually of course, is is just our human way of expressing love. Sometimes I love Jesus so much I tell Him I want to marry him…obviously I don’t literally want to have a wedding ceremony etc I just am using my limited human words to express the extent of my love and commitment to Him.
I’m so confused how this sort of thing can be called abnormal. The whole faith sacraments etc are to bring us intimately close to Jesus.
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I see it that way too!

so if it’s not something overtly sexual is it okay? like if it doesn’t tempt to impure thoughts or feeling aroused sexually, is it appropriate?
 
I remembered something I read one time; this: ccel.org/ccel/ugolino/flowers.iii.xlix.html is this maybe an example of intimacy with Jesus in the right way? you see in the end how Brother John embraces Jesus and kisses Him but obviously not inappropriately.

What I’m not clear on though, is where is the line between appropriate and inappropriate?? I need to figure this out so I don’t sin. Reading that link above makes me want to embrace Jesus like Brother John did but it’s not so much passionate as something very sweet 😮 is it wrong to feel this way?
 
I think you should become good friends with the Holy Spirit, Devoted Child, and pray to Him for help making sure you don’t have disordered thoughts 🙂 you sound like you are doing well
 
DevotedChild24 said:
What I’m not clear on though, is where is the line between appropriate and inappropriate?? I need to figure this out so I don’t sin. Reading that link above makes me want to embrace Jesus like Brother John did but it’s not so much passionate as something very sweet 😮 is it wrong to feel this way?
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I think you’re doing fine, and you have nothing to worry about from what you’ve said. 🙂

Alan
 
erine said:
You aren’t messed up. God desires intimate union with us and we should with Him. Only we just have to realize it’s not sexual in nature it far surpasses that. Our bodies maybe make us feel like intense union is always sexual but loving God is far greater.
I really am shocked any Catholic thinks the desire to be united to Christ is disordered. Our entire faith exists to unite us to Christ. He even lets us consume His body and blood. The Church is Jesus’ bride, everywhere is marriage metaphors reflecting God’s love for us. If our minds picure hugging or kissing Jesus non-sexually of course, is is just our human way of expressing love. Sometimes I love Jesus so much I tell Him I want to marry him…obviously I don’t literally want to have a wedding ceremony etc I just am using my limited human words to express the extent of my love and commitment to Him.
I’m so confused how this sort of thing can be called abnormal. The whole faith sacraments etc are to bring us intimately close to Jesus.
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Spot on!!! The Bible starts with union…Adam and Eve (Genesis) and ends with the marriage of the Lamb to His Church (Revelation). Christ loves His church with such intensity that He wants to marry and be with us forever and we will be gender free in heaven (Matt 22 and Mark 12)
 
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