Are shorts appropriate for mass?

[Brad]

Mijoy2:

I knew after sending this I’d get flammed for it. It’s not a matter of respect. I understand you point. And I don’t expect you to understand mine however, it is more of deep routed (47+ year) concept of not necassarily agreeing with the popular viewpoint of what is well dressed (as I said I don’t expect you to understand). I can afford such clothes yet I don’t own them. When a wedding or a funeral happens to come up I find myself ina predicament because the (usually one) suit I have no longer fits.

I’ve lived my life this way. As I said in the previous post I have just come back to my Faith after a 35 year absence. I’ve, throughout my life avoided any function that required me to dress in a manner of which I felt uncomfortable.

To answer you honeslty, Yes, I suppose I would dress (as you deem appropriate) if I were to see the Pope. However, if the Pope were to know me personally, He likely lok at me and laugh and say, Mike you look soooo uncomfortable and NOT yourself.

Not a very important subject, I know. I think it is just that people come from differing backgrounds and maybe we shouldn’t judge to harshly. When we see someone dressed in a manner we may deem disrespectable (is that a word?), it may be more that the individual never grew accustomed to dress any other way.

I am not judging anyone or telling anyone what to do. I am asking you, and anyone else, to consider the ramifications of your decisions. You seem to be set in your particular way - that is one individual case - I still welcome you into the Church either way, as I do everyone.

When you ask that maybe we should consider the indivudal never grew accustomed to dress any other way, it is also possible the individual never chose to dress any other way. I am not judging any person indivudally, but I am making a general judgement about the state of dress in the average Church. Many can dress differently but choose not to. Many wear immodest attire(not just revealing clothes but also sports clothing, advertising, body jewelry etc.) that has no place at the table of the Lord. This doesn’t sound like your case, but many put themselves “looking good” or “looking hip” above “looking respectful”. It’s not about looking good at mass - it’s about Jesus.

Those that may think of themselves as dressing casual versus immodest may help reduce the amount of immodesty by dressing respectful - even if it is uncomfortable. The Lord will bless your sacrifice and give you graces.

 

[rob2007]

one time, i wore running shorts to mass, and some old lady screamed when she looked at them.

 

[Brad]

kamz:

I actually have asked my priest this very question as I stated several months ago and he said for him he just wants people to come to church as not enough people are coming and as far as what you wear he said that is between us and God. Now, I know there are those who will say (and my priest said no way etc.) ok, like I said, thats why I’m real glad I’m from where I’m from as this is very accepted and very much the norm, maybe for you or whoever else, this is not how it is in your church, whatever, but don’t tell me what God will or will not frown upon, that is so wrong, like, you know him now so much better than me and anyone else and you’ll be right there at the gates of heaven helping him judge who will and will not be coming in ?? I think that there are far, far, far more important issues right now that what you think is right for me or anyone else to wear to church.
As for me and my house we will serve the Lord and as for what someone else may or may not think I should wear to church, I’m going to pray that they maybe focus more on their own lives and troubles than on what I’m wearing.

Why is it that whenever someone has a difference in opinion and the opionion is more in line with orthodox church teaching, that person is automatically judging the state of someone else’s soul and is a terrible person? I judge nobody’s soul - that is God’s job. But I have a right to my opinion, just as everyone else - and that is what these forums are about.

What I am suggesting is that if your priest is looking to gain more members, it does him no good to lower the bar. People want to go somewhere where they respect themselves and respect others. Example: inner-city Churches that thrive - the people dress up! It is the one place they are told that God loves them, they are magnificent in God’s eyes, no matter what they look like, yet they are told to respect God’s house likewise.

We have been spending the last 30 years trying to “keep people in” the Church - it doesn’t work. Preach the Gospel - the wellsprings of Truth are what attract people.

Modesty and respect are important issues. How people dress has a direct relationship to how they think about themselves - various studies have shown this.

I would ask is it really so hard to dress up?

You can disagree with me but don’t condemn those that have differing opinions with you. I have seen priests ripped apart by parishoners when they try to express the benefits of dressing appropriately. Is that being Christian?

 

[Brad]

Lisa N:

I personally always try to wear “church clothes” to church. Something modest, neat, and not flamboyant or attention getting. I do think that what you wear not only puts you in a certain state of mind but also makes a huge difference in how people react to you.

I think if you dress like you respect yourself and your fellow parishoners and the priest and most of all God, then the reaction is more positive. As to what other people wear, while I don’t care for the belly shirts or short skirts on (hopefully!!!) young girls, I figure it’s between them, their parents and God. But again they can’t expect a respectful response if they dress like slobs.

Coming from a Protestant background, one thing I really dislike is casual attire on the part of the minister and other church officials. At our Easter Service the choir director had his back turned to the pews and he had a HOLE IN HIS JEANS. Let’s just say it was hard to concentrate on the music.

Lisa N

I agree Lisa - you are frequently a quality voice of reason amongst discombobulation.

 

[Brad]

kage_ar:

When our priest first came to the parish, he put up signs, inside and out with the dress code for the Church.

No Shorts
No Tank Tops
No Strapless tops or spaghetti Straps
No skin tight clothing

We live in a summer resort area, and those things are like a uniform in the summer around here! One Sunday, I was outside of the church when a group of young adults came up the steps. They stopped and read the sign (they were all dressed in shorts). They were obviously toruists - who came to mass on Vacation. They looked at me and said “can we go in” - I told them that they were welcome to go in!

The signs have since come down, but, the dress code reminder for members is in the bulliten every week and Fr. makes it a regular announcment.

My son would wear a dress before he would wear shorts to mass. He does wear jeans and T-s to youth mass…

Kage

Good for your priest. Thank him for caring. He doesn’t have a dress code because he enjoys it.

 

[kamz]

Brad:

Why is it that whenever someone has a difference in opinion and the opionion is more in line with orthodox church teaching, that person is automatically judging the state of someone else’s soul and is a terrible person? I judge nobody’s soul - that is God’s job. But I have a right to my opinion, just as everyone else - and that is what these forums are about.

What I am suggesting is that if your priest is looking to gain more members, it does him no good to lower the bar. People want to go somewhere where they respect themselves and respect others. Example: inner-city Churches that thrive - the people dress up! It is the one place they are told that God loves them, they are magnificent in God’s eyes, no matter what they look like, yet they are told to respect God’s house likewise.

We have been spending the last 30 years trying to “keep people in” the Church - it doesn’t work. Preach the Gospel - the wellsprings of Truth are what attract people.

Modesty and respect are important issues. How people dress has a direct relationship to how they think about themselves - various studies have shown this.

I would ask is it really so hard to dress up?

You can disagree with me but don’t condemn those that have differing opinions with you. I have seen priests ripped apart by parishoners when they try to express the benefits of dressing appropriately. Is that being Christian?

Sorry Brad, you don’t get what I’m saying, I’m saying don’t condemn anyone, if you want to dress up, do it and if you don’t then don’t, why does anyone have any right to tell someone how they should dress for mass??? That is what I’m saying, if you want to dress up for mass Brad that is super cool and if I want to wear some dressy shorts to mass in the summer, hey, my business and thats also super cool, get what I’m saying???
Its not my business to tell you Brad how you should dress and what God does or does not think of how you are dressing because I don’t really know Brad and Brad its not your business to tell me how I should dress and that God will frown upon what I’m wearing, etc. etc. etc. :banghead:

 

[Brad]

kamz:

Sorry Brad, you don’t get what I’m saying, I’m saying don’t condemn anyone, if you want to dress up, do it and if you don’t then don’t, why does anyone have any right to tell someone how they should dress for mass??? That is what I’m saying, if you want to dress up for mass Brad that is super cool and if I want to wear some dressy shorts to mass in the summer, hey, my business and thats also super cool, get what I’m saying???
Its not my business to tell you Brad how you should dress and what God does or does not think of how you are dressing because I don’t really know Brad and Brad its not your business to tell me how I should dress and that God will frown upon what I’m wearing, etc. etc. etc. :banghead:

OK. God bless you. But, please, don’t bang your head against the wall. That is not super cool. Not that God will frown on it (I don’t think God ever frowns).

 

[buffalo]

Just a thought. If you were invited to a wedding what do you wear and why?

Now just suppose every week you went to meet Jesus at his Eucharist?. What would you wear and why? So, is Jesus present in Mass every week, or not?

 

[Brad]

buffalo:

Just a thought. If you were invited to a wedding what do you wear and why?

Now just suppose every week you went to meet Jesus at his Eucharist?. What would you wear and why? So, is Jesus present in Mass every week, or not?

Excellent question.

 

[kamz]

I think God would rather I be true to who I am, if I’m wearing a fancy dress to church and my heart is not in church all I’m doing is dressing up for those around me but not for God, I’m not saying I wear shorts to mass every Sunday, do I wear them during the summer when its really hot, yes or a short skirt that is the exact same length as my shorts during the winter I wear black jeans or black pants. I don’t think God cares what we wear, I think he sees through all that into our heart and soul and as far as we know we appear naked before God as did adam and eve, I think too much emphasis is placed on material items and not enough about really coming to mass with a heart and soul open to God and his word. If I go to a wedding I wear a skirt that is plain and probably I have shorts that are longer than that skirt, I’ve been to a total of 1 wedding in the last five years, my life is so hectic and my husband works 6 days a week 12 hours each day and there is many many times we don’t go to any weddings due to his schedule. I don’t ever entertain the (what if you met the pope thing) hey, the pope is a super great guy but he is not God, I don’t worship the pope, when we stand before God at the hour of our death do you really think he is going to reflect on what we wore, are wearing etc. etc.? Again, to each his own, I think everyone is right in this, you just can’t go wrong unless your walking into church naked, I seriously don’t sit and look around and what folks are wearing at mass but I do recall seeing our nun in shorts during daily mass over this past summer, they were very dressy type shorts and she had nylons on under them as do I when I wear them to church. So I’m just really glad that I live in Northern Minnesota and that I go to the church I go to, God has richly blessed me and he is the center of my life, cheers!

 

[buffalo]

kamz:

I think God would rather I be true to who I am,

This assumes you assume God wishes your life to be static, with no growth. How you dress is not to impress others, but to show respect for God and the community. Dressing up shows that in your heart you are making your visit more special than your normal daily activities, which is very consistent with keep Holy the Lord’s Day.

Research also shows the reverence teens learn towards Church and God is an indicator of their behavior. The more reverent the teen the better the behavior.

How can we all contribute to this? Can we be a better example? What place better to start than in Church on Sunday.

 

[TobyLue]

Why have Catholics become so lackadaisical about how they dress on Sundays? Some of the excuses I have heard are: what if we have nothing else to wear; what if I am on vacation; what if I have to take my kids to baseball, or soccer; what if, what if, what if? I have seen many people from the ghettos go to their Baptist Church, really poor, but man are they dressed up. Women with hats, men and boys with suits, little girls with fluffy and perky dresses, and they don’t even have Our Lord present in a Tabernacle. Come on, guys unless you happen to be one of the poorest of the poor in Calcutta, I would say that, yes, you have nothing to wear. But even the poorest of the poor in many ghettos dress up for their Sunday worship. Why can’t Catholics do the same? If you are on vacation, you mean you leave without thinking about Our Lord? If you have to take your child to a game, you mean that is more important than fulfilling you Sunday obligation? What if it is too hot? Come on, mass is not held outside in the middle of the hot deserts of Arizona. People today can’t even put up with a minor inconvenience for one hour? My family was poor when I was growing up, but I had my Sunday shoes that I would only wear on Sundays. I’m not saying that we should all rent a tux and women wear evening gown, etc., but wearing faded jeans, flip-flops, shorts, etc. is just being plain lazy. Oh, our priest doesn’t care. Well he should!! Well, God doesn’t really care. It’s not that. What we wear might just tell us what we think of God. How many would dress up if they were going have an audience with of the Queen of England. Would you go in shorts, faded jeans and make up all sorts of excuses? Why do we make all sorts of excuses when we go present ourselves before our Lord?

 

[buffalo]

TobyLue:

Why have Catholics become so lackadaisical about how they dress on Sundays? Some of the excuses I have heard are: what if we have nothing else to wear; what if I am on vacation; what if I have to take my kids to baseball, or soccer; what if, what if, what if? I have seen many people from the ghettos go to their Baptist Church, really poor, but man are they dressed up. Women with hats, men and boys with suits, little girls with fluffy and perky dresses, and they don’t even have Our Lord present in a Tabernacle. Come on, guys unless you happen to be one of the poorest of the poor in Calcutta, I would say that, yes, you have nothing to wear. But even the poorest of the poor in many ghettos dress up for their Sunday worship. Why can’t Catholics do the same? If you are on vacation, you mean you leave without thinking about Our Lord? If you have to take your child to a game, you mean that is more important than fulfilling you Sunday obligation? What if it is too hot? Come on, mass is not held outside in the middle of the hot deserts of Arizona. People today can’t even put up with a minor inconvenience for one hour? My family was poor when I was growing up, but I had my Sunday shoes that I would only wear on Sundays. I’m not saying that we should all rent a tux and women wear evening gown, etc., but wearing faded jeans, flip-flops, shorts, etc. is just being plain lazy. Oh, our priest doesn’t care. Well he should!! Well, God doesn’t really care. It’s not that. What we wear might just tell us what we think of God. How many would dress up if they were going have an audience with of the Queen of England. Would you go in shorts, faded jeans and make up all sorts of excuses? Why do we make all sorts of excuses when we go present ourselves before our Lord?

Part of the reason is Catholics may not know that they assist at Mass as well as it being a SACRIFICE.

 

[kamz]

TobyLue:

Why have Catholics become so lackadaisical about how they dress on Sundays? Some of the excuses I have heard are: what if we have nothing else to wear; what if I am on vacation; what if I have to take my kids to baseball, or soccer; what if, what if, what if? I have seen many people from the ghettos go to their Baptist Church, really poor, but man are they dressed up. Women with hats, men and boys with suits, little girls with fluffy and perky dresses, and they don’t even have Our Lord present in a Tabernacle. Come on, guys unless you happen to be one of the poorest of the poor in Calcutta, I would say that, yes, you have nothing to wear. But even the poorest of the poor in many ghettos dress up for their Sunday worship. Why can’t Catholics do the same? If you are on vacation, you mean you leave without thinking about Our Lord? If you have to take your child to a game, you mean that is more important than fulfilling you Sunday obligation? What if it is too hot? Come on, mass is not held outside in the middle of the hot deserts of Arizona. People today can’t even put up with a minor inconvenience for one hour? My family was poor when I was growing up, but I had my Sunday shoes that I would only wear on Sundays. I’m not saying that we should all rent a tux and women wear evening gown, etc., but wearing faded jeans, flip-flops, shorts, etc. is just being plain lazy. Oh, our priest doesn’t care. Well he should!! Well, God doesn’t really care. It’s not that. What we wear might just tell us what we think of God. How many would dress up if they were going have an audience with of the Queen of England. Would you go in shorts, faded jeans and make up all sorts of excuses? Why do we make all sorts of excuses when we go present ourselves before our Lord?

I think very little of the Queen of England and I certainly would not ever care to meet with her. You are all acting like some people are wearing shorts every day, never have I said that, and I don’t wear jean shorts they are the kind you buy at JCPenney that the material is like dress pants material and you wear nylons with them and I also wear skorts, looks like a skirt but actually isn’t, I dress them up with very nice shoes and a nice top, its comfortable and very functional for all the bending and lifting of little ones I have to do during the mass. When I am lucky enough to sneak to mass during the week I have sometimes worn jeans, shorts that are new or capris. My children dress up very much for church, they love too and I have tons and tons of hand me down clothes that were given to me from my sister. I’ve never stated that someone should wear jeans with holes, shirts with holes etc. but I just refuse to pass judgement on anyone, I can’t know what is happening in their life or their wallet, I’m glad that I live where people don’t judge like you all do or I think mass would be a very awful place indeed, for me, mass is about coming to God, its not about what Jane, Tom or Susan is wearing or if they like what I’m wearing. Why can’t anyone of you simply make your statement such as “I would never wear shorts to church its just not for me but I don’t judge anyone who does, that is none of my bees wax” but you just can’t, its " I would never wear shorts and you should not either because if you were face to face with God, would you?, you never just say your point for yourself, its so like I’m right and I’m doing what God wants and your not and shame shame on you, jeepers people, little kids or grown adults??? Paleeessseee :yup: :clapping: :dancing: :tiphat: :bounce: :tsktsk: :bigyikes: :twocents:

 

[mkarzon]

A little off topic, but a couple of years ago, during Mass at our former parish, a gentleman approached me about the noise my two year old son was making. My response was, “This from a guy who wears shorts to Mass?”. Judging by his facial expression, he didn’t care for the remark.

 

[Brad]

mkarzon:

A little off topic, but a couple of years ago, during Mass at our former parish, a gentleman approached me about the noise my two year old son was making. My response was, “This from a guy who wears shorts to Mass?”. Judging by his facial expression, he didn’t care for the remark.

If only we had as many people welcoming other parishoners to the church community.

See, it’s all about comfort - comortable clothes, no kids crying, house in Florida, the Cadillac, the television - and the rest of the world can go to hell - as long as we’re comfortable. After all, we deserve to be comfortable. Isn’t that why Christ died? For our comfort? Oh, and please don’t talk about that sin stuff - it puts a damper on the day.

 

[sunnyday]

Each and everyone of you sound so self righteous, do you really have nothing better to do with your time than bait each other on wardrobe? What if a crisis came up right now in your life? Would actling like snotty little children on this stupid subject really be that important?
I’m better than you cause I wear better clothes to mass so Jesus likes me more, jee, sounds like you all need to go back to elementary school and get a grip!!!:tsktsk:

 

[IrenkaJMJ]

sunnyday:

Each and everyone of you sound so self righteous, do you really have nothing better to do with your time than bait each other on wardrobe? What if a crisis came up right now in your life? Would actling like snotty little children on this stupid subject really be that important?
I’m better than you cause I wear better clothes to mass so Jesus likes me more, jee, sounds like you all need to go back to elementary school and get a grip!!!:tsktsk:

What’s wrong with a little debate? You sound more upset than anyone here!
Even if I disagree with someone on a particular thread, I find I still can learn something, even if it’s only practicing patience and charity!

(And I guess His Holiness, John Paul II, is being childish or self-righteous for banning shorts and sleeveless shirts in the churches his diocese? )

 

[Lisa_N]

Brad:

Why is it that whenever someone has a difference in opinion and the opionion is more in line with orthodox church teaching, that person is automatically judging the state of someone else’s soul and is a terrible person? I judge nobody’s soul - that is God’s job. But I have a right to my opinion, just as everyone else - and that is what these forums are about.

What I am suggesting is that if your priest is looking to gain more members, it does him no good to lower the bar. People want to go somewhere where they respect themselves and respect others. Example: inner-city Churches that thrive - the people dress up! It is the one place they are told that God loves them, they are magnificent in God’s eyes, no matter what they look like, yet they are told to respect God’s house likewise.

We have been spending the last 30 years trying to “keep people in” the Church - it doesn’t work. Preach the Gospel - the wellsprings of Truth are what attract people.

Modesty and respect are important issues. How people dress has a direct relationship to how they think about themselves - various studies have shown this.

I would ask is it really so hard to dress up?

You can disagree with me but don’t condemn those that have differing opinions with you. I have seen priests ripped apart by parishoners when they try to express the benefits of dressing appropriately. Is that being Christian?

Brad while I don’t like to quote an entire post, obviously you and I are on the same wavelength. I think there is a big difference between dressing “down” because you can’t afford something nicer and just not wanting to bother. I think respect has been AWOL in much of our society and IMO sadly missed. When someone who can afford to dress nicely shows up in a tee shirt, shorts and flip flops, I do not have a positive reaction to him or her because to me it says “I don’t care” what you think, what the priest thinks or frankly what God thinks. If the person doesn’t care about the reaction, well that’s their choice. You are right, their soul isn’t in any danger because of their clothing but it’s just part of an overall attitude that is expressed with very casual dress.

Your point about inner city churches is well taken. We have an elderly member who is a refugee from Africa. She does NOT have much money but she comes to church wearing a dress, a hat and her grandchildren are immaculately groomed. I have such respect that she makes the effort. It’s not a matter of money, it’s a matter of caring and self respect.

Lisa N

 

[newsong]

work(name removed by moderator)rogress8:

Thanks for all your responses…
Since most of you said never, for very good reasons, I won’t wear shorts to mass this weekend.
Thanks again.

Ok, work(name removed by moderator)rogress8 asked everyone for their opinions and all gave her them and then she said, ok, thanks, I get the point, so now that she has the point what is the point of going on and on and on. Looks like she got her answer right?? So, why argue this, she is not going to wear shorts to church some still will some won’t and life will go on, there are several million Catholics in the USA and you can’t be in each church, each situation, bla, bla, bla, lets start a more awesome topic like how we can save all the babies whose mothers are considering abortion, lets dig in and get some real work and prayers done and leave this way silly, childish subject alone and come together as good Catholic brother and sisters in christ and start praying for those unborn babies:bowdown: :yup: