Are we your "friends"?

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GladTidings

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It might sound pathetic, but besides people I see only at work or church, you guys are my friends. I mean, I joke with people at work, and church, but we don’t get together on the outside. You know more personal things about me than the people at work or church.

As I got older, it happened really fast; friends moved away and started families, (as did I), and I never took the time to make that connection with anyone. As a couple, we never made a connection with other couples, either. We’re either too busy or we don’t really like his or her attitude, or they are a lot younger or older than we are, etc.

Plus, people I know do not interest me. Going to the bar, or “gentlemen’s club”, with work friends does not sound like a good idea, I do not watch sports very much, and what I watch, most guys do not watch. I’m also kind of picky, I admit. Too many dirty jokes, and they are done.

It can be kind of lonely in today’s society, even if you have a family. The clerk at the store can barely be bothered to set their phone down to scan my items. We don’t have that kind, caring interaction or playful banter with strangers anymore. “Have a nice day”, they mumble, while going back to Candy Crush. We do not trust strangers as much as we used to, either.

As a kid, my parents would have bridge parties and the kids would go, too, and it would be an evening of fun. They had a lot of friends, as did my wife’s parents. Heck, our parents still have more friends than we do.

So, are you in a similar situation?
 
Your observations are on target. Mother (saint) Teresa observed the loneliness of the Western world. Relationships take time, work, commitment and sacrifice. Maybe if we put the time we use on this forum to calling old time friends, sending an old time card saying I am thinking of you or just praying with the scriptures it might be more pleasing to God. There is no commitment to relationships on the forum and it is just an easy way to vent. But we surly can pray for one another.
 
I have very few of my OLDfriends – I’m old, and was in the Army. Many of my friends from those days are no longer with us.

Sure we’re friends - why should we not be.
 
I consider CAF folks friends. We pray for eachother. We work toward the common goals of gathering good information on Catholicism and not letting this place totally disintegrate into a wild west situation. I like to imagine how cool it will be to run into eachother in heaven. I have friends in real life, but I had CAF at times that I didn’t, so I am always grateful.
 
DisorientingSneeze said:
how cool it will be to run into eachother in heaven.
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Yes, I’m looking forward to this as well. But, If we do not have our glorified bodies, where will we put the stickers that say, “Hello, my name is…”
 
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GladTidings said:
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DisorientingSneeze:
how cool it will be to run into eachother in heaven.
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Yes, I’m looking forward to this as well. But, If we do not have our glorified bodies, where will we put the stickers that say, “Hello, my name is…”
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My glorified body questions are endless, so I’m going to avoid that spiral of overthink.
 
Most of my friends and acquaintances are not Catholic or even Christian. While we share many good times, I can rarely if ever speak to any of them about my all-important inner life and commitment to Christ. Thus I rely on this forum to speak with people with common values.
 
Some of my CAF friends became real world friends of mine.

It might not even be that bad that, nowadays, people are making friends and dating online. It’s easier to filter people based on interests and values and a must for people with really niche interests. I think we need more Catholic and Christian friend-making apps and sites. I want to surround myself with young, geeky Catholics, but those are hard to find in real life.
 
I never liked hanging out with people just to be social. I always needed a reason or an excuse.

So, some of the best people in my life are people with whom I share a hobby-in-common. The relationships that come from that sort of situation are easier for me, because the relationships are a bit pre-fab, if that makes sense? We have a context for our relationship to exist, rather than having to build one from scratch and maintain it merely based upon mutual interest.

I like my online friends. A few online friendships, I’ve sustained for 20+ years, and we trade birthday packages every year. 💙

But I’m also very fond of the CAF community, and of rolling around our thoughts and ideas and experiences, because even though we have a lot in common, we’re still a very disparate community of non-cookie-cutter people.
 
That’s very true, I met my wife in an online dating site.
 
Limoncello4021 said:
I can rarely if ever speak to any of them about my all-important inner life and commitment to Christ.
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And we become alienated. If we do not live in the world, and do not have church friends outside of church, who else can we talk to?
 
Something else I was thinking about is how this is a unique situation when it comes to friends of the opposite gender. A lot, but not all, of the groups at my church are lumped by gender. All of the experiences I have right now in real life of trying to grow in holiness with friends is with women. I like that we are such a varied bunch here.
 
Would you say it is easy for you to, “make friends” with others and do things with them outside of work, church, etc.?

For me, it is like a 15 year old boy asking a girl out.
 
This is a good point, and I can relate to that. We are often separated by activities at church. The Women’s Guild, Knights of Columbus.
 
I think it was American Singles.com. It was so long ago. The only reason my wife signed up was to get extra points for some other thing. There are Catholic ones as well, as you know.
 
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GladTidings said:
This is a good point, and I can relate to that. We are often separated by activities at church. The Women’s Guild, Knights of Columbus.
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Some of it is propriety. If my husband or I go to a function, one of us is usually left behind watching the kids. If he were going to some men’s thing, I don’t feel left out of his spiritual life/friendships and vice versa.
 
GladTidings said:
For me, it is like a 15 year old boy asking a girl out.
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At some point I realized just how many people feel that way and that we need to find people who need friends and just invite them over to your house. If they say no, they say no. But if they needed a friend, they feel like youve pulled them right into your inner circle and you feel less awkward in your own house.
 
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