Are we your "friends"?

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The thing is, how do you find someone you are interested in who lives closer than 5 hours away. I’m sure you know that is a difficult part of online dating sites.
 
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I have online friends that I have known since the beginning of the internet. They are as close as my “skin on” friends.

In the Catholic world, we know we are all not just friends, but, family.
 
Thanks for being candid. I didn’t mean to sound like I was, “crying in my beer”, besides it would be an Old Fashioned, if anything.

The truth is that I am usually content with not having a ton of friends, I always have been. Maybe you are the type of person who need to have friends more than most people do, who knows.
 
GladTidings said:
how do you find someone you are interested in who lives closer than 5 hours away. I’m sure you know that is a difficult part of online dating sites.
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By becoming an active member of your local real-life community. Get out there. There are tons of interesting people who live withing walking distance of you, unless you live in the middle of Nevada. Try new things. Go to the theater or a concert, get involved with volunteer projects, and, most of all, have fun, because people want to be with people who are having fun.
 
Think of the great friendships that existed across distance pre-inet. We know some great things through nothing more than published exchanged letters.
 
CAF members have helped through some of my hardest hours trying to get back to my faith with a truly open heart. And just the community as a whole. Even the suspension when I got one. It all helped me with my stress with facing (in EO we truly do face him) the priest on some very serious issues that came between God and me and then the Church and me.
Just the daring of being honest and accept what others say about me or to me.
Yes you all have helped me. Even the ones I did not talk with. Just for being here and keeping it going.
May God bless you abundantly all of you.
 
GladTidings said:
I am usually content with not having a ton of friends,
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You don’t have to have a ton of friends. Just enough to make life interesting and enjoyable. And you get them by making life interesting and enjoyable for them.
 
Aw man. dw dude lol. We can chat on reddit if you have an account. I just deleted mine, but I can always make another one.

We don’t see friends or family either. Part of the problem is our relatives attitude toward our family. Relatives are deeply jealous at this time, for reasons I shall not discuss. They’re not horrible people, but still idk why. They’ve stopped talking to us.
 
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I want to re-emphasize that many of us may have friends and have good times with them, even a full social life, but it is easy to feel something seriously lacking we don’t have friends we can speak deeply about our spiritual lives with. That’s a whole different ball game. Most of my friends and co-workers are non-religious and disdain Catholicism. They have no interest in it, and the easiest way to permanently lose a friend among them is to try to talk to them about it. No doubt people will say, well then go make friends at church. Easier said than done when you are a working single person and all the church groups are either “young adult” or “seniors” who meet during the weekdays. I am not complaining, just pointing out that there are many types of friendship and I think many of us come here for shared spiritual values we cannot find elsewhere.
 
I’m not saying I have an overwhelming need to have real life friends. I have a wife, kids, three cats, and a dog. As well as work and church friends.

Also, my point was how face to face human interaction seems to be disappearing.
 
GladTidings said:
It is true that I can be a downer sometimes.
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First of all, let me make it clear that I am not telling you to be fake. Fake scares people away, too.

Rather than being a downer, build people up. Contribute something positive to their lives, and they will appreciate it and return the favor. I can’t even begin to describe the amount of happiness mentoring young people has brought into my life. They just open up and grow because they finally meet an older person who is interested enough to listen to them and invest in them. rather than nag them for using their cell phones.

And by fun, I don’t mean getting drunk. I’m a teetotaler, and it has never interfered with me and my friends having a great time.

Good luck and get out there and have the time of your life!
 
Limoncello4021 said:
but it is easy to feel something seriously lacking we don’t have friends we can speak deeply about our spiritual lives with
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Exactly! You and some others understand what I am saying. Unless someone, like those on this forum, who share our values and religious interests, lives nearby, it is difficult to find friends.

And if I’m being picky because I don’t want to hear someone swear every two sentences, then I guess I’m being picky.
 
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It’s not a bad thing to be picky. Some people might call you a snob for being picky, but the kind of deep friendships where you can tell someone essentially whatever is on your mind and they will get it are very rare. Most people probably cannot even imagine those kinds of friendships exist outside of your significant other. But, they do and it is not stupid to seek them out.
 
Some people here are my online friends. Regarding speaking about my faith, I can do that here with other Catholics, which is nice, but I do have people in my life who are not necessarily Catholic and are open to faith discussions. I don’t really want to discuss my personal faith every day. I do like to discuss and share information relating to Catholicism generally, and this forum is an okay place for that.

I have developed groups of friends I see in person and for different things. Many of us live at a distance from each other and also have busy lives with lots of responsibilities, so we don’t see each other in person a lot, but when we do have a get-together, it’s quality time.

I do miss having more friends who live close to me and can be around on a moment’s notice, but that can also be a little annoying because there are some friends who are very spontaneous and expect you to be available on short notice, or alternatively think they can just cancel plans on short notice. Also, the reality is that even when people live close by, they often have schedules and responsibilities that don’t jive with mine.

I think most people go through some stages in their life of not having friends when they move to a new area, move into a new phase of life (such as all their friends are getting married and having babies and don’t have time for fun stuff for a while unless it involves spouses and/or kids too).

My advice would be for you to find some online hobby or meet up groups in your area and make some in-person friends that share your interests.
 
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Since leaving my hometown over thirty years ago I haven’t had contact with a single friend from those days. It’s a good thing because I’d likely not be alive today if I stuck around. My folks over the years told me that they heard many of them died due to alcohol or drugs. The ones who as far as I know are still living I have no desire contact. I never did before Facebook and just because Facebook is around doesn’t mean all of a sudden I want to contact them. And I won’t sign up because I don’t want any of them contacting me. Some things should remain in the past.

The only friends I want or need now are my wife and her brother. And the Lord whom I visit often by prayer, sacraments, adoration, and scripture. As far as internet friends I never got the hang of internet communication let alone internet friendship.
 
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