There is no way even the most strict priest would say it is even a venial sin, for all the reasons mentioned above, especially if you don’t even remember the dream and it is a surprise when you wake up and discover it has happened.
What can cause young men more anxiety, though, is the state of half sleep that wet dreams can sometimes happen in. This, too, is not a sin. Again, for the very same reasons.
It is completely normal for men to have erections when they wake up in the morning. Even every morning. As far as your wakefulness allows, just don’t do anything to encourage the erection or ejaculation.
The basic principles are:
- You can’t sin accidentally.
- You can’t sin in your sleep.
- You must be in full possession of your faculties to sin mortally, and when you are in the process of waking up, by definition you are not in full possession of your faculties.
Just don’t do anything to bring on a wet dream, and you will be fine. Here are some suggestions based on my own experience and the experience of other men:
- Keep your thoughts pure when you are awake.
- Keep your actions pure when you are awake.
- Sleep on your side or on your back. Don’t sleep on your stomach. (It’s bad for your back, anyway.)
- Especially in times of temptation, sleep with a rosary wrapped around your hand.
- If possible, it’s often helpful to use Holy Water before going to bed.
- Say three Hail Mary’s every night before going to bed for your own purity and your future wife’s, whoever she may be.
- Examine your conscience every night. Ask yourself what you did well that day, what you didn’t do as well as you should have, and what you did wrong. Ask God for forgiveness and make a resolution for the next day.
- Try to fall asleep in a state of prayer. Talk to Jesus as you fall asleep. Tell him about your day, and what you plan to do tomorrow. Tell him how much you love him.
If you develop these habits, you will grow in the manly virture of purity, and when you have wet dreams they will not cause you any concern.
Of course, if you remember the dream, don’t dwell on it! If you dwell on it, you are giving consent to impure thoughts in your waking state, and that can be a mortal sin.
Also, dwelling on it can cause scruples. In these dreams you will often find yourself doing things with people that you would never do in real life. You can begin to imagine that these are secret desires and that something must be wrong with you.
NOT!!
Dreams are dreams. Crazy things go on in them, and it’s as simple as that! Don’t give them another thought.
And don’t forget that God created our sexuality, including all the messy stuff, and he’s not shocked by it. He’s the one that “invented” it, after all. It was His idea. Including wet dreams. So when they happen, remember that it’s the way God made you.
