Both my grandmothers had their last baby at age 50.My Mum thought she was ‘done having kids’ when she was 40… My little sister was born when she was 42!!
I’m hoping and praying that kind of thing is in my genes because I have only one son and I’m 38. God bless you, your husband and your lovely big family. I’m not jealous… much.
You have legitimate concerns for your health and that of any future children, so I’d say that not having any more would be the prudent thing to do. God and the Church do not demand that we pop out as many children as our bodies can possibly produce to the detriment of our health and the welfare of our families. Seven children may be your limit, if so that’s fine. It’s a matter of prudential judgment not of sin if you decide that you are done having children for the reasons you’ve cited. :yup:
With 9 children, I’ve had my share of that in the past. I just smile and say, with this many kids, one or two more hardly makes any difference. Or, “Who knows.” Also with a smile. It seems to deflect a lot, and give them the idea that I’m quite happy with the way I live my life and my choices (probably because it’s true.) Maybe it dispels their concerns for me, to see I myself am not worried over it.In the past, the easiest way to answer this question, has been “yes, we’re done” just to get them off the subject. My parents have made numerous comments about this being my “last baby”. …
If I say we would welcome more or are not sure, I always get this look like I am some completely insane individual and I get dragged into a conversation where I get defensive and feel I need to defend myself. I don’t want to be rude as I understand, for the most part, people are really just being curious, and I don’t want to sound like some “religious freak” (not to offend anyone, but I definitely know this is some people’s perception of us).
I sometimes think I would like “just one more baby” (been saying that since #4!!), but maybe we are getting too old? I just don’t know, but to say we are 100% done is hard too since we struggle with NFP and complete abstinence does not seem necessary either. I also had some postpartum hemmorrhaging with last baby, which I guess is somewhat common after 7 babies!
I know I do not have to completely decide this now but everyone else seems to think I should have a definitive answer!!!
I doubt anyone actually believes God and/or the church require this. I’ve always found it pretty offensive when people helpfully clue me in that God and the Church don’t require this of me. It really suggests that I’m not too bright, not too thoughtful, that somehow I’ve never actually stopped to think this through. Moreover, people who have said this to me have never actually taken the time to learn what I really do think or know on the subject. They’ve just made this highly offensive assumption that I couldn’t possibly be a thinking person and have this many kids.
Anyone who assumes to tell you this is rude, insensitive and a bore, I agree. I merely wanted to remind us of this fact in case our lurkers and seekers have the mistaken idea that Catholic women are looked upon as mere “breeders” of children–a disgusting term, don’t you think? We are mothers (those of us with children) and how many children we have is entirely up to us. I absolutely agree with that. :tiphat:
How old were you when you had your last baby? And did you have any issues with postpartum hemmorhaging after having that many kids? These are really my only two reservations about having more kids. I know the Church does not want me to have as many babies as physically possible. I am not stupid, and I find this a little offensive, too. My problem is that when I look at my precious newborn, it breaks my heart to think we won’t have anymore!! Now that might make me slightly crazy, but it is true:shrug:. I don’t know why I feel this way when others can be so sure they are done. I seem to always feel like I want just one more, and my 5 year old and 3 year old really want twins yet
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If anything I wrote offended, I apologize. Of course you know you are not required to have as many children as possible, but I wanted to reassure you of this fact so that in making your decisions with your husband, you would have every reassurance that not having more is just as fine as having more children. Does that make sense? I’m afraid I’m expressing myself badly here.How old were you when you had your last baby? And did you have any issues with postpartum hemmorhaging after having that many kids? These are really my only two reservations about having more kids. I know the Church does not want me to have as many babies as physically possible. I am not stupid, and I find this a little offensive, too. My problem is that when I look at my precious newborn, it breaks my heart to think we won’t have anymore!! Now that might make me slightly crazy, but it is true:shrug:. I don’t know why I feel this way when others can be so sure they are done. I seem to always feel like I want just one more, and my 5 year old and 3 year old really want twins yet
I kind of feel like if we are still able to conceive at our age then it must be ok, but my whole experience with this last pregnancy and the suspected genetic defect makes me more concerned. I truly was made to feel like we were being irresponsible having a baby at our age. I would hate to cause our child a lifetime of difficulty!!!
Just thought I’d pop in and give you my experience. I’ve had 5 children over the age of 35, two of whom were born after the age of 40. Yes, hemorrhaging is a risk factor for women who are mulitpara. They always left a IV line in for about 12-24 hours depending on how things went after birth. Thankfully I did not have any troubles. I did have quite a lot of bleeding with my last pregnancy that ended with a D&C (the baby failed to develop,) but again, no big troubles, and it was expected (due to my mulitpara status and how far along the pregnancy was when I had the D&C.)How old were you when you had your last baby? And did you have any issues with postpartum hemmorhaging after having that many kids? These are really my only two reservations about having more kids. I know the Church does not want me to have as many babies as physically possible. I am not stupid, and I find this a little offensive, too. My problem is that when I look at my precious newborn, it breaks my heart to think we won’t have anymore!! Now that might make me slightly crazy, but it is true:shrug:. I don’t know why I feel this way when others can be so sure they are done. I seem to always feel like I want just one more, and my 5 year old and 3 year old really want twins yet
I kind of feel like if we are still able to conceive at our age then it must be ok, but my whole experience with this last pregnancy and the suspected genetic defect makes me more concerned. I truly was made to feel like we were being irresponsible having a baby at our age. I would hate to cause our child a lifetime of difficulty!!!
Thank you for sharing your experience. I need a “mentor” of sorts right now. This is kind of a tricky time of life to navigate. Everyone around our age considers themselves “done” and many are having vasectomies or tubal ligations to ensure it! Although we have always been open to life, I even kind of assumed we would go that route when we hit 35 or so!
