–I recently admitted to my folks I have been attending the Traditional Latin Mass and they gave each other a weird look.
–they look bothered,
–I have yet to meet a Catholic who is interested, much less happy, in knowing I have started going to the Latin Mass.
–My siblings make jokes
If being a traditional Catholic is defined by attending mass in the EF, I’m not traditional. If traditional means believing and following what the Church teaches, then I am extremely traditional.
I don’t attend the EF becasue it doesn’t work for our family. My autistic son needs the OF because people with autism need to see and hear at the same time in order to understand. Their brain is wired differently, even though they can be very intelligent. My son is in college, but he still gets very anxious when he does not understand or see the actions that go with the words. The priest with his back to the congreation frustrates him. He says it feels like talking on the telephone, which he hates.
My family is Orthodox Jew. My household is the only household in our family that is Catholic, because I converted in my early 20s and am in my 50s now. As Orthodox Jews they do not understand the entire Catholicism thing. If I were to mention that we have more than one form of mass in the Roman Rite and more than one Rite in the Catholic Church and more than one Church with apostolic succession, that would drive my Jewish siblings to drink or think that I’m making my life more complicated than it needs to be.
What I do is – do what I do. I go to my daily mass, pray my breviary, say my rosary, work for my diocese, take care of my family, do my spiritual reading and daily meditation without saying anyting about it. My siblings do the same within their Orthodox Judaism without saying anything about it.
I know all about Orthodox Judaism, but they only know about Catholicism what they see on TV and what the see when they visit me. This year they visited during Easter. I said that I had to go to Church because it was Easter. My brothers know that it’s the highest of holy days for Christians. They were staying at my home, so I casually invited them to the Easter vigil expecting them to respectfully decline.
I was surprised when they agreed to attend. Of course they asked if they could wear their kipa (yamulke) and prayer shawl. An Orthodox Jew never enters a house of prayer without these. Of course I told them that they could. They were as happy as pigs in mud. We went and the priest came up to them after the mass and welcomed them and chatted a little. This made them feel very welcome without feeling that they were being prostelitized.
This is the key. One should never make the other person feel that they are less than you are or that you’re trying to send them a message to become like you. If you follow the rules of courtessy and charity, you should have some questons, as I get from my brothers, but no conflicts.
Some of our priests who work with us have complained that they do not like being around some “traditionalists” because they have a very evangelical attitude. They tend to find fault with everything that is not EF. If the priest makesa mistake, they’re right there after mass offering corrections, rather than accepting that the priest is doing the best he can. I have also heard that some have a holier than thou attitude.
That being said, I have also known and have priest colleagues of mine who know traditional EF Catholics who are very polite, very kind, very involved in the community and the parish and who are very respectful of the OF, because it is the holy sacrifice of the mass as is the EF. These people are very friendly and very easy to be with.
I have seen arrogance in reverse from Catholics who prefer the OF. There can be an attitude that we’re more Catholic than the Pope and we’re more with the Church than traditional Catholics are and so forth.
The point I’m making is that whether your among other Catholics or people of other faiths, if you come across casually, you invite rather than push, ask when you don’t understand them or answer with just enough information when they ask you, you should come off OK. The key is never to come off as holier than thou or condescending or judgemental.
When we judge we not only make enemies, but we also sin against the Holy Spirit, because we have no idea what the Holy Spirit is doing in someone els’es soul.
When we invite and accept a no without being offended or offending, we stand a better chance of being accepted and maybe having our invitation accepted the next time around.
Just remember, the EF is not for everyone. As Pope Benedict says in the Motu Proprio, the OF has a sanctity that cannot be denied. So always make sure that you show the proper respect for the OF, even though we know that there are Catholics who attend both forms of the mass for their own satisfaction, not because it really draws them closer to God. Those kinds of weaknesses are unavoidable, even though they are unfortunate.
Finally, I would add that we always have to be careful not to sound fanatical. I will say again, I work for the diocese runing my own ministry, pray the Office, say my rosary, go to mass, but I never say anything to anyone who doesn’t ask me or unless they’re at my home and I want to leave, then I invite them. Sometimes I’ll even joke about it (not in a disrespectful way). Humour does a lot to reduce tension.
I always tell my Jewish sibs that the only regret I have about becoming Catholic is that I forgot that someday I was going to get older and the kneeling, sitting and standing routine is killing me because I’m 50 lbs heavier. They just laugh, rather than wonder about the kneeling, standing and sitting, which is not common in Orthodox Judaism.
I hope this helps.
JR
And the person who started it was attacked right off the bat. It is a very unfriendly forum.
.
), in high school, and in a cathedral choir for 25 years. It distresses me to be labeled a traditionalist since in my mind’s eye, I haven’t changed from being, well, …me.