Arguing because of money

[yessisan]

Thank you ladies! Don’t worry, I already paid the bills that were due, past due, and the ones that are due next week. As far as having money for the mortgage, I guess we’re going to have to get money out of the CD to pay for it.

So, today I went to my boss’ house. She was so mad this man is doing this to us, whe grabbed the phone and was going to call his bank for me. She’s rich and she dosn’t take no for an answer. I told her I didn’t think that’d help, but she said if the man’s bank gives me trouble, she’ll put her attorney in the middle of it to help us.

She can be such a pain but she was being really nice today and very understanding. She told me I can come in late on Monday so I can go sue the man and the bank.

About borrowing money, well, my grandma offered to help, and I know my mom would help too. I just hope I don’t have to get to that. My mom hates to let people borrow money, since she was taken advantage of by many of her “friends”, including my sister (they never paid her back). She trusts me since I always paid her back, so I guess it’ll be ok.

About staying with his, even though my wedding wasn’t in a CC in front of a priest, my vows to him are “in sickness and in health, for better or worse”. I did have our marriage “blessed” thru a radical sanation, so even though it was a civil ceremony, it counts as a valid Catholic marriage. I know he’s stressed and frustrated, I am too. I know he’ll always have a side to him I won’t like, same goes with me. I married him because I love him and because I want to spend the rest of my life with him, even if we’re poor and have no food to eat. I’ll be with him, as long as he’s willing to work thngs out and work on the marriage with me. He has been cooperative. We’re going to Retrouvaille every Friday night for 4 hrs, and that says a lot of him since he’s a JW and they aren’t allowed to associate with priests, Catholic groups, or go into a CC. Our group meetings are inside a small Catholic Church.

What has been hard is that he’s taking his anger and frustration on me, and he hates it that I don’t let this problem go. He likes to let things go so he can forget about them and not deal with them. He doesn’t see the problem as I see it. He thinks I’m blaming him for it since he went back to work for this man after 3 bounced checks, and owing us money from before, and I had asked him not to go work for him. Now he learned his lesson, but he thinks I blame him.

We have so many things that haven’t been dealt with because of his lack of motivation and responsibility. My mom mentioned to me last night that maybe because he isn’t used to being responsible for so many things, that probably he is taking it this hard. He never had to worry about paying bills or having to have a FT job. He never had to worry about money for food… all of this is new to him. He would only work so he could have money to have fun or buy a used car. He never had payments for anything, never had credit cards… I, on the other hand did. I had car payments, insurance, cell phone, credit cards, school loans… I was more prepared for it. My mom made us be this way. My mom wanted us to be prepared for the world. His parents, even thought they were poor, they never made him work, they gave him his car and cell (in Mexico these things aren’t too expensive), and fed him. He had nothing to worry about. Because he’s a JW, he wasn’t allowed nor was he encouraged to go to college. He was living the good life w/o responsibilities.

I’m pretty sure as he gets older, the maturity will sink in. He is mature in some areas, it’s just that it hasn’t hit him yet that he has to deal with problems as soon as they arise. I love him dearly, he’s what some would call my “soul mate” since we’re so alike. We get along great most of the time, but when it comes to finances and a few other things, he just doesn’t get it.

Thank you for giving me the emotional support I don’t get at home. Can you believe he demanded I stop crying because he didn’t want to see me suffer? Not as in, “It hurts me to see you suffer”. It was “I don’t like it when you cry, it makes me uncomfortable”. But that’s another story.

I hope I have enough time today to go to the man’s bank and speak to the branch manager. I am going to tell them that becuase it’s their mistake, they need to pay me now if they want to avoid an attorney getting involved in this. Of course I’ll say it nicely and I’ll wait for the right time to let them know about the attorney. Anyway, thanks for everything!!! God bless and have a wonderful weekend!

 

[whatevergirl]

Thank you ladies! Don’t worry, I already paid the bills that were due, past due, and the ones that are due next week. As far as having money for the mortgage, I guess we’re going to have to get money out of the CD to pay for it.

So, today I went to my boss’ house. She was so mad this man is doing this to us, whe grabbed the phone and was going to call his bank for me. She’s rich and she dosn’t take no for an answer. I told her I didn’t think that’d help, but she said if the man’s bank gives me trouble, she’ll put her attorney in the middle of it to help us.

She can be such a pain but she was being really nice today and very understanding. She told me I can come in late on Monday so I can go sue the man and the bank.

About borrowing money, well, my grandma offered to help, and I know my mom would help too. I just hope I don’t have to get to that. My mom hates to let people borrow money, since she was taken advantage of by many of her “friends”, including my sister (they never paid her back). She trusts me since I always paid her back, so I guess it’ll be ok.

About staying with his, even though my wedding wasn’t in a CC in front of a priest, my vows to him are “in sickness and in health, for better or worse”. I did have our marriage “blessed” thru a radical sanation, so even though it was a civil ceremony, it counts as a valid Catholic marriage. I know he’s stressed and frustrated, I am too. I know he’ll always have a side to him I won’t like, same goes with me. I married him because I love him and because I want to spend the rest of my life with him, even if we’re poor and have no food to eat. I’ll be with him, as long as he’s willing to work thngs out and work on the marriage with me. He has been cooperative. We’re going to Retrouvaille every Friday night for 4 hrs, and that says a lot of him since he’s a JW and they aren’t allowed to associate with priests, Catholic groups, or go into a CC. Our group meetings are inside a small Catholic Church.

What has been hard is that he’s taking his anger and frustration on me, and he hates it that I don’t let this problem go. He likes to let things go so he can forget about them and not deal with them. He doesn’t see the problem as I see it. He thinks I’m blaming him for it since he went back to work for this man after 3 bounced checks, and owing us money from before, and I had asked him not to go work for him. Now he learned his lesson, but he thinks I blame him.

We have so many things that haven’t been dealt with because of his lack of motivation and responsibility. My mom mentioned to me last night that maybe because he isn’t used to being responsible for so many things, that probably he is taking it this hard. He never had to worry about paying bills or having to have a FT job. He never had to worry about money for food… all of this is new to him. He would only work so he could have money to have fun or buy a used car. He never had payments for anything, never had credit cards… I, on the other hand did. I had car payments, insurance, cell phone, credit cards, school loans… I was more prepared for it. My mom made us be this way. My mom wanted us to be prepared for the world. His parents, even thought they were poor, they never made him work, they gave him his car and cell (in Mexico these things aren’t too expensive), and fed him. He had nothing to worry about. Because he’s a JW, he wasn’t allowed nor was he encouraged to go to college. He was living the good life w/o responsibilities.

I’m pretty sure as he gets older, the maturity will sink in. He is mature in some areas, it’s just that it hasn’t hit him yet that he has to deal with problems as soon as they arise. I love him dearly, he’s what some would call my “soul mate” since we’re so alike. We get along great most of the time, but when it comes to finances and a few other things, he just doesn’t get it.

Thank you for giving me the emotional support I don’t get at home. Can you believe he demanded I stop crying because he didn’t want to see me suffer? Not as in, “It hurts me to see you suffer”. It was “I don’t like it when you cry, it makes me uncomfortable”. But that’s another story.

I hope I have enough time today to go to the man’s bank and speak to the branch manager. I am going to tell them that becuase it’s their mistake, they need to pay me now if they want to avoid an attorney getting involved in this. Of course I’ll say it nicely and I’ll wait for the right time to let them know about the attorney. Anyway, thanks for everything!!! God bless and have a wonderful weekend!

You seem in a bit better spirits…I’m glad to read this! Things will get better…and you do have people who care. Remember…deal with what is in front of you.

 

[kamz]

Yessian, your boss sounds pretty cool! I think it is great that she offered to help, many bosses would say “deal with this on your time, not mine” I am praying even harder for you in this. I pray that you can get your money back and that your husband won’t do anymore work from this mean man.

Take care of yourself and don’t let the stress get to you, you have people who do care for you and this too shall pass.

Stay strong and even in this, give thanks!

A few years ago we went through some “serious” financial problems and even in that, I gave thanks, it seemed weird to be thanking God for our financial troubles, but I did anyways, and he answered… he got us through that difficult time and he will get you through this as well and you will come out of this a better and stronger person.

((hugs))!!!

 

[ChristineML]

Yessisan, you seem to be feeling better; I’m so glad. I’m sure having those bills paid and the possibility of loans from relatives is letting a little relief through the clouds. And your husband going to Retrouvaille with you sounds like he really cares about your relationship; that’s a very encouraging sign.

I’ve heard that it might take some men a little longer than others to get used to the responsibilities of marriage and family. Another lady here in the forums was complaining she had one young child and another on the way, and she was hurt that her husband still wanted a night out with the guys every week, and he was spending a little more than she felt comfortable with on entertainment expenses. And that’s what another woman said, “It just takes some people a little longer to get used to the responsibilities.” If you know the situation your husband come from, with his parents paying for everything, I hope that makes it a little easier to be patient with him.

If your husband’s employer really did have the money in the bank, and it’s his BANK’s fault they didn’t pay you, doesn’t that mean you should sue only his bank, and not your husband’s employer? Of course, try talking with them first, but by all means threaten legal action, if necessary. It was sweet of your boss to offer her lawyer’s services; he/she may give you some free advice and maybe write a letter for you, as a favor to your boss, but if it goes any farther than that, your boss’ lawyer will want to be paid, so check his/her fees if/when you get to that point.

Best wishes!

 

[yessisan]

Thanks again for staying with me during this horrible week. Well, yesterday, DH and I made it to the man’s bank 15 minutes before they closed. The manager wasn’t present, but I took my bank statement (thankfully it was already printed for the month of October). I took it with me along with the man’s bank letter (the one where they’re taking the blame), and a copy of the bounced check and a copy of the cashier’s check he gave us to make up for the bounced check. The person who helped us was very nice, but he was still trying to blam e my bank for not collecting the funds. I showed him everything I had, and looked in shock when another account rep took fault for the bounced check. He took all those things to make copies of it to give them to his boss. We’re getting a call from them on Monday. They better give me my money back. Now I’m only short $700, but it’s still a lot of money to not have in my account. Another thing is that the ex-boss hasn’t paid DH for his last 9 days of work. He’s still asking that we give him some time to pay us because he doesn’t have much money left since he went to Vegas and spent most of what he had. How convenient, huh? I’m more calm now that I went to his bank, all I’m waiting for is their answer, and I hope they pay us back all the money they owe us.

About the JW man, I don’t know if I should sue him for DH’s wages. DH wants to give him this last chance, so, to avoid another argument, I kept my mouth shut… I have been meaning to call the department of labor though and getting them involved as well, it’s just that I haven’t had the time to contact them. This man needs to learn that he has to pay all his employees if they are doing their work. DH even worked in the hard rain with the freezing cold outside, getting soaked to get treated this way… why would anyone give these many chances to someone who expects you to work in those weather conditions?

Anywho… I’m feeling a bit relieved. I just hope this episode ends soon.

 

[whatevergirl]

Thanks again for staying with me during this horrible week. Well, yesterday, DH and I made it to the man’s bank 15 minutes before they closed. The manager wasn’t present, but I took my bank statement (thankfully it was already printed for the month of October). I took it with me along with the man’s bank letter (the one where they’re taking the blame), and a copy of the bounced check and a copy of the cashier’s check he gave us to make up for the bounced check. The person who helped us was very nice, but he was still trying to blam e my bank for not collecting the funds. I showed him everything I had, and looked in shock when another account rep took fault for the bounced check. He took all those things to make copies of it to give them to his boss. We’re getting a call from them on Monday. They better give me my money back. Now I’m only short $700, but it’s still a lot of money to not have in my account. Another thing is that the ex-boss hasn’t paid DH for his last 9 days of work. He’s still asking that we give him some time to pay us because he doesn’t have much money left since he went to Vegas and spent most of what he had. How convenient, huh? I’m more calm now that I went to his bank, all I’m waiting for is their answer, and I hope they pay us back all the money they owe us.

About the JW man, I don’t know if I should sue him for DH’s wages. DH wants to give him this last chance, so, to avoid another argument, I kept my mouth shut… I have been meaning to call the department of labor though and getting them involved as well, it’s just that I haven’t had the time to contact them. This man needs to learn that he has to pay all his employees if they are doing their work. DH even worked in the hard rain with the freezing cold outside, getting soaked to get treated this way… why would anyone give these many chances to someone who expects you to work in those weather conditions?

Anywho… I’m feeling a bit relieved. I just hope this episode ends soon.

I would seek legal counsel…there are many lawyers who will take a case for free, until they win a case…also, report this man to the IRS, if it continues…and tell him you are doing so. Most people do not want to tangle with the IRS, so he most likely will pay your dh the wages he owes him. You are not being unreasonable…God expects us to love our neighbors as ourselves, but He didn’t say we needed to be doormats for people. Your husband earned the money…this man (his boss) needs to pay him the wages he earned. I hope that this gets resolved for you soon–without having to take further action would be the best thing.