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Sarcelle
Guest
Good point Memaw.
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Melodeonist
Guest
I’m actually a man.
My father is also a non-religious liberal, but he never brings up politics. Me and my father never argue because my father doesn’t seem to care that I have my own views. My mother, on the other hand, is always bringing up politics while we are eating dinner. My mother seems disturbed/angry that I have differing views from her.
One curious thing that I noticed is that my mother is always watching the liberal main stream media. It seems that’s really all she watches on TV. Occasionally she will watch Fox but never very long. My father, on the other hand, never really watches the news. Perhaps my mother has been exposed to too much propaganda.
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Vic_Taltrees_UK
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She must get it from her own family of origin. They have very strong stomachs!… My mother, on the other hand, is always bringing up politics while we are eating dinner. My mother seems disturbed/angry that I have differing views from her.
It reminds me of the Whiteoaks and Jalna series of novels by Mazo De La Roche! The mealtime scenes in those books are some “scenes”!
Tell your mum to eat up her veg!
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mommy_k
Guest
Well, you mother has to realize that as a young adult, you are entitled to think as you please.
If your mother has differing views, it should not be that important to you, just as your views are not that important to your dad. There are many other things in a young persons life to focus on other then their mom’s political and religious views. Just say, OK mom…and think and act as you feel is right.
There are limitations when you are dependent on your parents, and you may have to put up with this if she is stubborn.
If she is an obstacle for you to live your life as you choose, or think as you choose, you need to become more independent-now is the time most young people start planning for this, with a job. Many college students work summers and part time during the year to have a car, and save for the future. I read in your other thread that you see college as a reason not to work, and this is surprising.
If your mother has differing views, it should not be that important to you, just as your views are not that important to your dad. There are many other things in a young persons life to focus on other then their mom’s political and religious views. Just say, OK mom…and think and act as you feel is right.
There are limitations when you are dependent on your parents, and you may have to put up with this if she is stubborn.
If she is an obstacle for you to live your life as you choose, or think as you choose, you need to become more independent-now is the time most young people start planning for this, with a job. Many college students work summers and part time during the year to have a car, and save for the future. I read in your other thread that you see college as a reason not to work, and this is surprising.
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Melodeonist
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As a matter of fact, I am trying to apply for a job for the summer right now. Unfortunately no one has even called me yet. It’s like nobody ever wants to hire me. :crying:
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Irishmom2
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Keep applying, and in the mean time, do some volunteer work. Ask at your church if they need help. Most parishes need help with Bible school, run errands or shop for your elderly neighbors.Or start your own business. Mow lawns, weed gardens.
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robertmidwest
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No he doesn’t have to agree with her! As long as he is dependant on her financially he has an obligation to not be argumentative with her. If the parents are paying the bills, they have the perrogative to establish the household rules (especially when the dependant is of age). Most young adults kind of use this motivation to become more independent.
I note there was a reply from OP, but no answer to my question about who is paying the bills. That speaks volumes.
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Melodeonist
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I mentioned that I live with my parents in the OP. My father pays all the bills. My mother stays at home.
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Irishmom2
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He is 19. He lives at home. He is looking for a job. Yes, pretty sure his parents are paying the bills.
Whether he pays his own way or not, in his case, it is just not going to ever do any good to argue with his mom. She will always be his mom. So he needs to find ways to deflect her challenges.
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MomaMary8
Guest
Sounds like you are bit like your motherI’m actually a man.
My father is also a non-religious liberal, but he never brings up politics. Me and my father never argue because my father doesn’t seem to care that I have my own views. My mother, on the other hand, is always bringing up politics while we are eating dinner. My mother seems disturbed/angry that I have differing views from her.
One curious thing that I noticed is that my mother is always watching the liberal main stream media. It seems that’s really all she watches on TV. Occasionally she will watch Fox but never very long. My father, on the other hand, never really watches the news. Perhaps my mother has been exposed to too much propaganda.
. You both like to argue politics and seem to be passionate in your beliefs. Perhaps you can learn from each other. How about you both watch C-Span? When my son got tired of the MSM filtering the events going on in the world, he turned to C-span to watch the events happening in live action. No more sounds bites. He found it better to watch the real event. He and I also use Twitter for our news sources. It’s so much better to follow certain political figures and a wide variety of news sources than trying to decifer world events from the chatter of a news program.Now as far as daily integrations with your parents, please make sure you are praying for them daily. 1 Hail Mary before you go to bed for each parent would be a nice start (every day!) Then, before any words exit your mouth, make sure you great your parents gaurdian Angel. Their angel is with them always, so enlist their help in your desire not to argue. Greet them before your greet your parents (but do it silently! You don’t want to look like a nut case
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Memaw
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Household rules do not and should not include forcing your adult children the think the way you do about politics. No matter WHO is paying the bills. God Bless, Memaw
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DarkLight
Guest
I would also be prepared for the fact that she may feel you’re being rude no matter what. Try to make up in your own mind what is and is not rude and stick to that.
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robertmidwest
Guest
Unless she has some really effective brainwashing techniques she can’t control his beliefs. But if he dependant on her for food and shelter he needs to keep his opinions to himself. Or be prepared to take the consequences. He is nineteen. She doesn’t have to support him anymore.
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DarkLight
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Out of curiosity, what ought OP to do if asked a direct question about her beliefs by her mother?
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robertmidwest
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Take a look at the OP’s first post. He agrees he is sometimes rude to her. He also asked for help on how to “correct” his mother’s “incorrect” way of thinking. It is not a matter her simply asking a question.
If he is dependant on her he needs to respect her opinions. The parents have no obligation to pay his tuition, etc. He is old enough to be on his own.
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DarkLight
Guest
Sure, but that doesn’t mean, necessarily, that his mother isn’t bringing this up repeatedly (which he says is the case) with the express purpose of getting OP to change his opinion. He’s also said she tells him he’s being rude if he changes the subject. I’m not saying OP is in the right here, but it also looks like his mother is trying very hard to get him to agree with her position. This sounds like someone who’s looking to get a reaction, and I would say OP needs to be prepared for questions on his position and other actions designed to draw him into a fight.
And walking off, as some people have suggested, is almost certainly going to be construed as rudeness.
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Hoosier_Daddy
Guest
Of course you could just not argue. But think about this. Though your views would probably align with the church and with posters on this forum (we would probably agree with you view vs your mom). You should be aware of how these threads make your mom out to be a bad person. Even in describing this thread a reader would describe your mom as a liberal athiest who cannot think for herself and is brainwashed to pick on you constantly!? Is that what you wish to portray your mom as?To set the stage and avoid any possible confusion I am 18 years old. I will be 19 in September. I am in college, and I got straight As in the first semester. I live with my parents. My parents are non-religious liberals. I am a Catholic social and fiscal conservative with libertarian views on some things. My mother is a big time news watcher, and I feel she has been brain-washed by MSNBC and friends with false information caused her to foster an anti-Catholic views towards priests (she often “jokes” about pedophile priests.)
Now that the stage has been set, my frustrating tale will begin: Me and my mother are always arguing politics. I have tried many things, such as changing the topic (my mother says stop changing the topic) as well as ignoring her arguments (that’s really hard because I am a very outgoing person.) We disagree on practically everything political and we also disagree on some things that aren’t political. In the end of many of our arguments she often says I was rude to her, or I feel I was rude to her. I don’t want to be rude, but I can’t help it. Try as I might, I always seem to forget that I don’t want to be rude when we are arguing.
What are some tips on getting out of arguments without giving into the others, often misinformed, argument? Also, how might one correct such a person’s incorrect views? How might I stop being rude as well?
Though you may be right, be careful not to become the kid who is young, in college, and all of the sudden becomes better and smarter than mom and dad.
What does your dad say when this tension happens? I will say that from your parings you live in a toxic environment and perhaps the best thing for all would be for you to, as an adult, move out!
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robertmidwest
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Yeah I kind of though that was were this is going too.
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Memaw
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If my child was living a very immoral life under my roof, or using drugs, drinking heavily, not keeping up grades etc, then I may be inclined to withdraw collage funds if the child is wasting his time and my money. But to threaten removing it because my child disagrees with me politically is not reason enough and I would have very little respect for any parent that would threaten to do so. Also an adult child should be able to have opinions just like any other adult. What kind of world would it be if free will did not exist. The mother seems to be the one that is always trying to antagonize her child. I think that’s called control! God Bless, Memaw
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Memaw
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I certainly never got that idea! God Bless, Memaw
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