Your question is posed by many who wish to redefine GOD into their terms - thus guaranteeing themselves salvation without having to acknowledge that GOD did specify the “way, the truth and light” to live and believe and find GOD.
Those who will not be in heaven would not WANT to be in heaven. The all-consuming love of God would be intolerable to them. So God honors their choice, and grants them existence completely apart from God (for there will be no half measures in the next life - it’s either all God or no God).
What God says when we are judged only reaffirms what we say about ourselves. When people don’t want to be with God and reject him and what he says, they get what they want. You decide your future.
God loves Himself above everything, sinds the Truine God is love itself and His infinite love is also an expressing of His Holiness. God wil do everything to keep His standard of His Holiness and love otherwise God would not be God anymore. So everything and everyone who offends God by not worshipping His highest good which is His Holiness and Love, cannot have a communion with the Living God and reject God. God keeps His standard by judging sin and pouring out His wrath as expression of His Own love, Holiness and Glory. And there is the Gospel message coming, namely that God is not compromising but He is judging it through the Cross, which is the only way for guilty sinners, who offend God to receive reconcilation, sinds Christ as the Lamb of God took our wrath upon Himself.
For me, it is all about freedom of choice. God gave us the ability to choose and He does not force us to be good and obey all that is of Him. Our bad choices turns us away from Him and puts us out of His presence. God’s judgement is His affirmation of our desire not to be with Him.
Doesn’t God have the right-the duty even -to hate sin and evil?
2Pe 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
Ofcourse, otherwise He would not be God anymore, sinds how can God whom reveal Himself as a Holy and Loving God tolerated sin and evil which offends His own Holy and Loving being ? The reason why we have a difficult with this, is because we have such a low view on who God is, and are lacking a true holy fear, that is also were idolatry started, namely that we are making a god to the image and likeness of men, with men in the centerpiont of his own religeus experience, and that i also why we may have such a difficult understanding with doctrine of hell, sinds it offends our pride.
