As Catholic Christian's how should we treat people with autism

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peaceandmercy

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In my household, my father and brother both have this condition in the asperger’s variety, i myself do not suffer from this condition, whilst conversing with my father or brother i do tend to get fustrated whilst talking about anything emotionally deep or humorous, i see a lack of registration/understanding in their eye’s, it’s like i’ve hit a brick wall and it’s simply out of their grasp’s to gage what it is i’m talking about, those are just a few examples, i personally feel really guilty because at times i do roll my eyes in my mind when i speak to them, in fact, sometimes i don’t even feel like talking to them knowing that they probably don’t have the capacity to understand.
 
Many of us have autism. There is an entire spectrum of autism, from essentially undetectable to severe. Autistics can be a challenge to deal with, and they require some patience in certain cases, as they process information differently from, well, non-autistics. We deal with them patiently and lovingly, as we are able.
 
treat them the same way you’d treat anyone with a disability: with dignity, respect and a lot of patience
 
With respect; treat them as you would any other child of a God & as you would like yourself to be treated.
 
Kindness, respect, patience. Autism is not their doing, nor is it a punishment. Don’t add to their situation by getting frustrated. Just accept their limitations and learn to work with them!
 
It sounds like you are expecting them to react normally to certain things you say, and then being frustrated when they react as they are wont to. I suggest you learn to expect that reaction from them and then you won’t be surprised or frustrated. Make it more of a “silly me” thing than a :rolleyes: at them.

However, as wives, we do need certain types of sharing. This is what women friends are for 🙂
 
Bill and Melinda Gates are aspies. Many famous people had it. High functioning aspies usually get jokes,sarcasm, innuendo, irony, can see patterns, etc. There are tell-tale signs if your careful to watch for them. Social awkwardness or shyness, off the beaten path habits, a little chunck of OCD or ADD.

Aspies often can feel isolated. Some might not mind being slightly off the beaten path. I enjoy the silent companionship of one, or even being alone. You can gently point out something to an aspie that they may be doing that is considered improper or a faux-pa if they fee comfortable with you.

We should treat all people on the autism spectrum with kindness, understanding and gentle firmness or compromise when needed.
 
This goes for everyone, not just aspies. Learn to love and be patient and forgive.

Matthew 6
14 For if you will forgive men their offences, your heavenly Father will forgive you also your offences.
15 But if you will not forgive men, neither will your Father forgive you your offences.

Matthew 18
21 Then came Peter unto him and said: Lord, how often shall my brother offend against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith to him: I say not to thee, till seven times; but till seventy times seven times.
 
As someone with ASD, all I ask is you treat me with respect.
 
peaceandmercy said:
In my household, my father and brother both have this condition in the asperger’s variety, i myself do not suffer from this condition, whilst conversing with my father or brother i do tend to get fustrated whilst talking about anything emotionally deep or humorous, i see a lack of registration/understanding in their eye’s, it’s like i’ve hit a brick wall and it’s simply out of their grasp’s to gage what it is i’m talking about, those are just a few examples, i personally feel really guilty because at times i do roll my eyes in my mind when i speak to them, in fact, sometimes i don’t even feel like talking to them knowing that they probably don’t have the capacity to understand.
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The person to talk to about something emotionally deep are your spouse, priest or a qualified counselor.

I think you need to stop talking to them about these things because it’s only frustrating for you.

The thing about Aspergers is that people with it perceive things differently.
 
peaceandmercy said:
In my household, my father and brother both have this condition in the asperger’s variety, i myself do not suffer from this condition, whilst conversing with my father or brother i do tend to get fustrated whilst talking about anything emotionally deep or humorous, i see a lack of registration/understanding in their eye’s, it’s like i’ve hit a brick wall and it’s simply out of their grasp’s to gage what it is i’m talking about, those are just a few examples, i personally feel really guilty because at times i do roll my eyes in my mind when i speak to them, in fact, sometimes i don’t even feel like talking to them knowing that they probably don’t have the capacity to understand.
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autismspeaks.org/family-services/tool-kits/100-day-kit/ten-things-every-child-autism-wishes-you-knew
 
I like a lot of the replies, but the answers can also get more specific and practical.

For example, religious ed instructors and assistants should learn about autism and how to work with moderately to severely autistic kids in a classroom settings. Parishioners should avoid glaring or judging parents while a child is in the middle of a meltdown; that child may well be autistic.

I don’t have other ideas off the top of my head, but I think this is a good discussion that more parishes should be having.
 
A lot of people on the ASD spectrum struggle with filtering background noise so I wonder if quiet spaces during mass with a speaker would be helpful if the main area becomes too noisy.
 
Hi I’ve got this as well! After “healing prayers” at the age of 42 this information was brought to me. It was the biggest single boost of my entire life.

I have read your other thread.

Every family needs to maintain space for each member’s different hobbies, interests, tastes, gifts etc.

It’s important not to be impatient about specific individuals’ ways of reacting to specific (name removed by moderator)uts.

Many autistic people in our late 50s or 60s develop a wider range of social skills.

In such families usually there are grandmothers or uncles who are unaccepting of having a person of “different ability” in the family. Talk of “you’re turning out just like your father” and “no son/daughter of mine” can be signs of this. Your poor dad may have had bad models to follow.

Mostly some members of such families are also gifted with dyslexia, dyspraxia (developmental coordination difference), attention deficit difference. (I have all of these but my dyslexia is “masked” at the level of literacy by words being a “special interest”.) One can take responsibility for all of these by joyful and delighted self-acceptance and access to information on developing useful skills.

It does take a lifetime. If suitably trained occupational therapists or coaches aren’t available perhaps there are books and web sites. And societies one can join?

Authors I love include:

Donna Williams
Wendy Lawson
Jacqui Jackson
Luke Jackson, her son
Olga Bogdashina
Jan Poustie

and many more.

I agree that the image of people that church people usually present on an average day is not very diverse or deep.

I love the “Autism Speaks” page referenced. Look at the top of the list - talents, gifts, style, hobbies, interests. I hope that there will be a little overlap between theirs and yours, where you can focus your interactions so as to keep your relationships on a relaxed footing.

It’s important not to overrate eye contact. We have excellent peripheral vision and we don’t need intensity.

Are they intellectual? The way people show respect for me is in their words and the quality of their reasoning.

I’ve lived alone a lot but I think my actions were mostly stereotypical by the standards of onlookers till well into my 30s.

In some families where it is the tradition to take a gloomy view of all the people that are going to let it down, everyone gets told they’ve got no gifts or “they don’t want to know” or “they won’t understand” or “we don’t do that in our family”. Are there things yourself ever wanted to do or know or get involved in, but didn’t dare? Now is perhaps your chance to embark. Since I stopped working I’ve got interested in various intellectual fields (being too ham fisted to volunteer with my hands).

Please PM me as much as you want, if you want (I don’t log on every day). But I shall particularly look forward to all your future threads.
 
St_Francis said:
It sounds like you are expecting them to react normally to certain things you say, and then being frustrated when they react as they are wont to. I suggest you learn to expect that reaction from them and then you won’t be surprised or frustrated. Make it more of a “silly me” thing than a :rolleyes: at them.

However, as wives, we do need certain types of sharing. This is what women friends are for 🙂
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I guess you’re right, i should refrain from rolling my eyes and just accept that it’s not their intension to cause me fustration, bottom line is, they cannot help it, i guess this is the reason why we make friends, we find people who can connect with us.

I wrote this thread in order to be truthful about my problem but also to learn from others who may have experience with this situation firsthand.
 
Crusaderbear said:
Kindness, respect, patience. Autism is not their doing, nor is it a punishment. Don’t add to their situation by getting frustrated. Just accept their limitations and learn to work with them!
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👍 That’s really the heart of it. Really, that is how we should treat anyone. We all have limitations and it often doesn’t do much good to get overly frustrated when we run into those limitations. We need to be kind and patient with all people.

As the saying goes, if you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism. It’s a spectrum disorder, so it’s not as if there is one singular way to interact with all people with autism. My son has autism. He’s non-verbal, so interacting with him is obviously going to be different. He also doesn’t mind physical touch, whereas some people with ASD are very sensitive to that.
 
DaddyGirl said:
I don’t understand…are Catholic-Christians supposed to treat people with autism differently than the way other people who are* not* Catholic or Christian treat them?

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I don’t think that was the intent of her post.

If I understand her correctly, s/he’s expressing individual frustration to an individual problem and seeking a Catholic perspective on how to get through it.

My hope for the original poster is that s/he can reach out to his/her priest and pray for the courage, strength, and compassion necessary to love and support family members with special needs. Hopefully s/he can find a good support circle, as well. It definitely can be an uphill struggle!
 
2cherubs said:
I don’t think that was the intent of her post.

If I understand her correctly, s/he’s expressing individual frustration to an individual problem and seeking a Catholic perspective on how to get through it.

My hope for the original poster is that s/he can reach out to his/her priest and pray for the courage, strength, and compassion necessary to love and support family members with special needs. Hopefully s/he can find a good support circle, as well. It definitely can be an uphill struggle!
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Yes 🙂 you are in correct, i shouldn’t of specified on Catholic-Christian rather just ‘a Christian persective’ i’m a noob sorry 😃

I actually had a sit down with my priest a month or so ago, i was able to discuss many of the issues i was facing and we actually prayed together which was a great experience.
 
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