Asexual Marriage

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Andrea_Day

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Would it be sinful for an asexual man and an asexual woman to marry and remain celibate for the duration of their marriage or have sex only once over the course of their marriage?

(In case you are unfamiliar with asexuality, it is a sexual orientation: asexuality.org/?q=overview.html )
 
Both parties contracting the marriage have to realize that if the sex drive of their spouse were to change, they would have the duty to periodically cooperate in having sexual relations. The couple cannot have a pact prior to marriage by which they mutually agree to never have sexual relations. Both spouses always have the right to ask for sex and cannot agree to give that up prior to marriage for the duration of their marriage.

But sure, it is OK for two people with a very low sex drive to marry each other on the expectation that they might be exceptionally compatible in that regard.
 
Andrea_Day said:
Would it be sinful for an asexual man and an asexual woman to marry and remain celibate for the duration of their marriage or have sex only once over the course of their marriage?

(In case you are unfamiliar with asexuality, it is a sexual orientation: asexuality.org/?q=overview.html )
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I guess. But to what end?

And if one of the people changed, the other would have an obligation.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
Why would a gay man and a lesbian woman get married? Again, to what end?
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Possible reasons include they felt God was calling them to marry, they wanted to be committed life partners without scandal, they have romantic attraction but no sexual attraction, financial reasons, the desire to have children together, the desire to adopt children together, fulfilling their parent’s desire for them to marry, wanting your child conceived in rape to have a loving father figure and grow up with married parents, etc.
 
Andrea_Day said:
Possible reasons include they felt God was calling them to marry, they wanted to be committed life partners without scandal, they have romantic attraction but no sexual attraction, financial reasons, the desire to have children together, the desire to adopt children together, fulfilling their parent’s desire for them to marry, wanting your child conceived in rape to have a loving father figure and grow up with married parents, etc.
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That lacks an understanding of marriage.
 
Both situations might have impediments of a psychic nature. If a couple in either scenario approached the pastor he would have to ascertain whether they meet all the requirements for a valid marriage and whether their psychological issues and sexual dysfunction preclude marriage, whether they did in fact intend marriage and its essential properties. These are serious issues not to be taken lightly. In the theoretical realm, the answer is that of course it is possible. When you are talking about two actual people, it is not at all clear they would be able to enter a valid marriage and it would be a pastoral decision.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
I guess. But to what end?

And if one of the people changed, the other would have an obligation.
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Maybe to the same end 2 people marry when they can not reproduce. For instance companionship and love. And Andrea also made a good point that a couple may want to start a family and adopt.
 
We live in a world where we have failed to defend and define the sacrament of marriage. Our world can’t even define gender and marriage is reduced to partners.

It’s sad.
 
Andrea_Day said:
Melinda Selmys, a self identified queer woman, author of “Sexual Authenticity”, explains about her marriage to her husband in this way:

youtu.be/AEqOo6pC4OU?t=12m32s
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Yes, people are a diverse bunch. There are shows on tv about polygamy.
It doesn’t mean it’s a marriage or not sinful from a Catholic perspective.

This thread is troubling.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
Yes, people are a diverse bunch. There are shows on tv about polygamy.
It doesn’t mean it’s a marriage or not sinful from a Catholic perspective.

This thread is troubling.
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I do not think it is respectful to compare Melinda’s Catholic marriage to polygamous unions on reality TV shows in that way. She is a practicing Catholic in good standing with the Catholic Church in agreement with Church teaching. You may not have noticed, but she was speaking at a Courage apostolate conference in that video.

catholic.com/profiles/melinda-selmys
 
Andrea_Day said:
I do not think it is respectful to compare Melinda’s Catholic marriage to polygamous unions on reality TV shows in that way. She is a practicing Catholic in good standing with the Catholic Church in agreement with Church teaching. You may not have noticed, but she was speaking at Courage apostolate conference in that video.

catholic.com/profiles/melinda-selmys
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I didn’t compare anything.

Why on your other threads do you state you don’t know much about marital issues but continue to point out the fringe?
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
I didn’t compare anything.

Why on your other threads do you state you don’t know much about marital issues but continue to point out the fringe?
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It came across like you were comparing Melinda’s marriage to polygamous reality TV unions. I’m glad to hear that was not your intention.

I don’t understand your question.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
Why on your other threads do you state you don’t know much about marital issues but continue to point out the fringe?
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As I said, I don’t really understand your question, but what I can say is I am trying to understand marriage/whether God wants me to marry and part of that for me is examining all the ways I have seen marriage. As an asexual person who experiences same sex romantic attraction and struggles with the sin of reading erotica, perhaps the kinds of marriage and love I am frequently exposed to are those that you call “fringe”. These less stereotypical marriages are often spoken little of by the Church (to my knowledge). So to understand what marriage is/whether it could work for me requires my asking, “Well, is this a marriage–why or why not”, and the place I have been doing that lately is here, because it seemed a suitable place to do so. But I have run into a lot of hostility when I ask questions and have discussions here, so I’m thinking about leaving. 😦
 
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