V
Vouthon
Guest
This is not from Blessed Henry Suso’s (1300-1366) autobiography but someone else commenting on the extreme lengths he went to in his youth before his “enlightenment” by God (I’ll dish out his own account either later or perhaps tommorrow since its late here). Prepare to get squeamish 
It seemed to Henry Suso that a life of suffering and pain and self-torture was more seemly for those who were following in the steps of Christ, than a life of ease and comfort.
And in his earnestness and ignorance, he provided himself with a hair shirt and iron chain, which he wore till the blood ran down from the wounds it made. And he wore a belt studded with sharp nails, the points of which he drove into his flesh. And in this belt he slept all night, or tried to sleep. And when he was bitten and stung by insects in the hot weather, he would not drive them away, but let them settle upon him and sting him, tying up his hands to a collar he had made, lest he should use them for his relief. And later he made himself leathern gloves with brazen points, so that if in his sleep he should perchance move his hands, the points might wound his flesh. And on his back he wore a wooden cross, with thirty iron nails driven through it, which he wore for eight full years, and once when he had blunted the points with a grindstone, he repented of it, and sharpened them again with a file. And daily did he scourge himself with leather straps, into which he had fixed iron points, with hooks like fish-hooks. And into his wounds he rubbed vinegar and salt, altering his penances for different days in the calendar of the Church.
And here is something direct from his writings - his enlightenment experience whereby he set aside this dreadful self-torture for the moderate path and thankfully seen the light. An angel tells him to stop his self-imposed torments:For his bed he had an old door which had been cast away, upon which he slept without any blankets, but covered only by an old mat made of rushes. For a pillow he had a sack stuffed with pea-shells, and he wore the same garments night and day, and under him was the cross with pointed nails. And as his mat was too short to cover his feet, they were frozen on the cold winter nights, and covered with chilblains. And he had many sores from the wounds he gave himself.
It happened once that he was seated in his cell after Matins reflecting on spiritual matters. As he pondered the wonders of Eternal Wisdom, his senses were stilled in ecstacy and it seemed to him that a princely young man drew near and spoke to him: “You have spent enough time in the elementary school and are ready to take up higher studies. Follow me; I will conduct you to the spiritual graduate school where you will be instructed how to bend your stiff neck to the divine yoke. This will establish your soul in holy peace and bring your devout beginning to a blessed end.”
The Servitor jumped happily to his feet and it seemed to him that the young man led him by the hand through an unfamiliar countryside. After walking across a meadow they entered a schoolhouse and were received with open arms by the students. When the headmaster heard the uproar being made over this would-be disciple, he said in true professional style, “Before accepting him as a pupil, I must question him personally.”
After a short interview the headmaster announced to the student body: “This undergraduate has within him the seed of a first-rate scholar. But whether the seed will sprout or lie fallow depends on himself; if he is willing to be pulverized by the constant friction of hard work and stringent rules, luscious fruit will result from the seed of his dead self.”
The Servitor, not understanding the meaning of these words, turned to the young man who had acted as his guide and questioned him: “Dear companion, tell me more about this graduate school and the higher studies one pursues there.”
“The science learned in the advanced school of holiness,” said the young man, “is nothing else than a complete, perfect resignation of oneself, so that a man’s will is so evenly balanced that the scale turns neither to the right nor left when God places on it joy or suffering, directly or through creatures. Man must strive earnestly to remain as steadfast in this total renunciation of self as is possible to human weakness, and to look only at God’s honor and glory, imitating in this Christ’s continual hunger for his heavenly Father’s glory.”
This explanation satisfied the Servitor. Hence, he resolved to put it in practice, cost what may, and to submit to all the school’s regulations. The young man instructed him further: “This science requires a single-hearted idleness; here, the less one does to the eye, the more one accomplishes as a matter of fact.” He was referring to those activities in which a man gravitates around himself instead of seeking God’s honor.
Later on, when Blessed Suso is teaching one of his female disciples he warns her not to go to the extremes of ascetism that he did in his youth:After a few minutes the Servitor returned to himself and sat for a long time pondering on these truths which are but a reiteration of Christ’s own doctrine. His musing found expression in self-reproach: “Look into the secret depths of your soul and you will see that, notwithstanding all your exterior penances, pride and self-love still rise in rebellion when you have to put up with a contradiction from others. You are like a scared rabbit hiding in a bush and trembling every time a leaf rustles in the breeze. This is how things stand with you: you shrink from sufferings which are not of your own seeking; the sight of uncongenial people makes you grow pale; you fly from humiliation, rejoice in praise, and avoid blame. Strike the iron while it is hot and enroll in the advanced school of holiness.”
BTW Suso’s “autobiography” also contained some quasi-fictional scenes ie his vision of the “school” is allegorical. His book was a semi-dramatized account of his own experiences put into the charming tale of a “Servitor” seeking for Eternal Wisdom“…You should not aim at achieving the severities of the Desert Fathers or the austere practices of your spiritual father [Suso himself]…One finds written down formerly that many of the old fathers led a life of inhuman and incredible austerity…One also finds that some did not subject themselves to such severe austerities…In general, austerity practiced in moderation is better than immoderate practices. But if one finds it difficult to find the Middle Way, it is still more sensible to remain a little more on the easier side than too venture too far in the other direction…”