Ask a Priest Anything...about Confession!

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Do you recognize parishioners’ voices and if so do you spend time thinking about what they confessed after confession and the next time you see them?
 
Father thank you so much for doing this.

If I forget a mortal sin, does that make the confession invalid?
 
OKComputer said:
Father thank you so much for doing this.

If I forget a mortal sin, does that make the confession invalid?
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I am not a Priest, but I can answer that: it is an emphatic “no”. People can be away from confession for years and completely forget many sins, but provided that they intended to confess all mortal sins with contrition and a purpose of amendment, it is completely valid.
 
Have you ever been a regular confessor for someone who suffers from scrupulosity?

What, as a confessor, is the most difficult part of handling the scrupulous?
 
If you honestly forgot, then your sins are forgiven.

However, if a person deliberately conceals a mortal sin out of fear/shame (e.g. “Oh no, I committed _____! What will Father think of me?”) then their sins are not forgiven and they must make a “general confession” i.e. one must repeat all the sins committed since their last good confession and mention the mortal sin(s) that were withheld when they made their bad, sacrilegious confession.
 
edward_george1 said:
Each priest is different. For me, I try to give SMART penances:

Specific (you know exactly what it is)
Measurable (you know when you’ve done it)
Attainable (you are able to do it)
Relevant (not as important, see below)
Timely (you can do it in a reasonable timeframe).
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I have to say, I prefer these kind of penances as a penitent.
 
Hi! You wrote above that you personally go to Confession once every 7-10 days, yet you recommend monthly for the faithful. Why is that? I’ve read so much about the saints going more often, yet monthly is is what I hear recommended. Yet, you’d go more often yourself. If a person is not scrupulous, and wishes to follow the example of the saints and those living and now striving for holiness, might they go more often too?
 
I’m sure father will respond. I’ll just say I get the impression that priests generally go to Confession more often than the laity. I think father Spritzer said he goes every week or so.
 
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Catherinabird said:
If a person is not scrupulous, and wishes to follow the example of the saints and those living and now striving for holiness, might they go more often too?
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Although I’m sure Father will answer, I would suspect that he has had all kinds of spiritual direction and training as a result of his career as a priest, and is therefore able to make a good confession every 7-10 days without falling into scrupulosity. It’s probably harder for lay people who tend to have little or no spiritual direction these days to keep from falling into bad thinking patterns. I will say that I usually confess twice a month because I have to meet the timelines for First Saturday devotion and for indulgence practice, and those usually work out to two times a month (occasionally one or three). I don’t feel any need to go more often than that unless I would happen to commit a grave sin which would make me not able to receive Holy Communion till I’d confessed.
 
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One of the benefits of being in a huge parish (2000 families) is that I don’t actually know but a small handful of parishioners. And even the ones I do know, I rarely recognize their voices in the confessional. And even if I figure it out, I act as though I don’t know, since I want to respect their anonymity, and I don’t dwell on it afterward. As I’ve said, I don’t usually remember confessions afterward.
 
Canvas said:
Have you ever been a regular confessor for someone who suffers from scrupulosity?
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I haven’t, at least not by prior arrangement.
Canvas said:
What, as a confessor, is the most difficult part of handling the scrupulous?
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The confession part of it is actually not that difficult. As I’ve said in many other threads, confession wasn’t what I expected vis-a-vis scrupulosity. I thought, based largely on my experiences on this forum (and this was years ago, even), that every third penitent would be scrupulous, and that they’d all be hysterical. It’s more accurate to say that about every thirtieth penitent is scrupulous, and it’s far more subtle than that. Having anxiety issues and anxious thought patterns equipped me well–I know what wording to listen for, and thus take appropriate action, which is similar to the action one takes on an internet forum dealing with the scrupulous. Draw hard lines, set boundaries, lean on authority if need be. So the hardest part is detecting it, but I’ve got that figured out. Every so often one encounters a scrupulous penitent who doesn’t want to be instructed or who fights back, but that’s not hard to deal with, I suppose. I deal with much more difficult things. It’s a minor annoyance at worst.
 
I would say that unqualifiedly, once a month is about the maximum I would recommend for most people. If one does so in consultation with a spiritual director, pushing that to biweekly or weekly, that’s fine. It’s something that needs to be handled with some accountability so that scrupulosity doesn’t result.

Conversely, a priest who struggles with scrupulosity would be advised not to go so often. I’m going about weekly based on the counsel I was given at various points in my discernment and formation. The reasons for going frequently involve matters of accountability, spiritual support from sacramental grace, and perhaps a keener sense of the burden of one’s own sins that comes with the territory, if that makes sense.
 
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Blockquoteyou are allowed to approach the sacrament, provided you are not impeded by law (i.e. not under some kind of penalty, nor in a situation that makes receiving the sacrament invalid), are properly disposed, and ask in a timely manner
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Father can someone in Jail therefore not receive confession? I was under the impression that priests visiting prison (like those in my city) can on occasions permitted by the prison, give the sacrement of Confession and Communion to those prisoners who have contrition and are serving there sentences.
 
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I’m referring to penalties under Church law, not civil law. Of course prisoners may go to confession.
 
This is an interesting topic. Could you elaborate on what you mean when you say that you know what wording to listen for in identifying scrupulosity?
 
The first ones that comes to my mind are “I think I may have…” or “is it a sin if I…” or “do you think I sinned?” Of course, these can also be legitimate questions.

Watching my son and myself after we entered the church, most of what would appear to be scrupulosity was insufficient knowledge combined with a fear of displeasing God, not because we thought He was out to get us, but because we wanted to do the right thing and not the wrong thing. We really did want to please Him. I realized that the more I learned the less I worried, which makes sense. Of course there are plenty of other reasons that would cause it and that would make it more difficult to heal. Ignorance is eminently curable, thank goodness.
 
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