Ask a Priest Anything...about Confession!

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You don’t have to feel anything. Repentance is not a feeling, though feelings might go with it. You merely must confess your sins and intend to amend your life. If feelings were a prerequisite, then I likely would never have been validly absolved in my whole life. I rarely feel anything when I go to confession. See my earlier post which invokes CCC 1768 about the role of feelings.
 
Did you know it was grave matter? Did you engage your will and do it anyway, without coercion?
 
No, I mean what kind of action did you do. Did you steal? Did you commit adultery? Did you lie? And if the details affect gravity, you mention that. If you stole a loaf of bread from a bakery, that’s one thing; if you stole a loaf of bread from a homeless man on the street, that’s quite another. If you lied to your mom about whether you did the dishes, that’s one thing. If you lied to the priest in confession about a serious sin, that’s quite another.
 
Aren’t they still supposed to say the longer version?
As I’ve said in other posts, yes, they are. I cannot speak to why any priest doesn’t follow the instructions. “To save time” doesn’t even make any sense here, since 1) you’re not allowed to omit the beginning of the absolution [though I know of priests who say the first part quietly while the penitent says the Act of Contrition, before finishing with the essential formula out loud] and 2) it doesn’t really save but about five seconds.
 
Ok, I had always thought contrition was a requirement. This definitely puts my mind at ease. Thank you Father.
 
Contrition means you are sorry for having offended God because of his goodness. The minimum necessary disposition for a valid confession is “attrition,” the fear of punishment. And while these dispositions carry emotions with them, or they can, emotion is not a prerequisite for either of them.
 
Thank you for answering our questions. I’ve always understood that absolution of sins cannot be conditional, but one answer here raises several questions for me. Please explain what constitutes conditional absolution and if, or when, it is acceptable. Also, if we run into a violation of that practice, what should we do? Thank you in advance.
 
The only context in which I’ve heard of “conditional absolution” is if someone has incurred an undeclared automatic penalty reserved to the Roman Pontiff, and seeks pardon for it. That is, they’ve done something that automatically excommunicates or otherwise censures them, it was not a public act, and the Pope’s dispensation is required from the penalty. Let’s say someone desecrated the Eucharist. They confess it to me. I absolve them conditionally, since the penalty actually prevents them from receiving absolution absolutely (that was fun to say), and tell them to come back in two weeks. I write a letter to the Apostolic Penitentiary, the prelate who is empowered to lift censures in the name of the Pope, telling him that a penitent has confessed to that sin and I request the faculty to lift the censure due it. Two weeks later, I should have an envelope from Rome (they move very quickly), and inside it are two smaller envelopes, with a number printed on the outside. I open the letter in the presence of the penitent, while they open their copy. I read the letter, which decrees the lifting of the censure and imposes a penance. I take their copy and mine and burn them both, to protect the seal, and then I keep the envelope–that number is a reference number the Apostolic Penitentiary uses to follow up if need be.

Other than that, I’m not sure what you mean by “conditional absolution.” Absolution cannot be conditioned on anything, really, otherwise the seal might be violated. That is, if I say “I will absolve you of murder if you turn yourself in,” then that violates the seal. Or if I say “I will absolve you of x sin that you keep on doing, and the absolution kicks in as soon as you’re done doing the sin.” I can’t really do that either. So I’m not sure what you mean.

As for a violation of practice, again, mileage may vary. Depends on what it is. A minor defect in the wording of the rite is not a big deal. Altering the words of absolution, yes. But it would all depend on the situation as to what, if anything, you could do.
 
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Thank you for your answer. Would you please PM me? Thank you.
 
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The only context in which I’ve heard of “conditional absolution” is if someone has incurred an undeclared automatic penalty reserved to the Roman Pontiff, and seeks pardon for it. That is, they’ve done something that automatically excommunicates or otherwise censures them, it was not a public act, and the Pope’s dispensation is required from the penalty. Let’s say someone desecrated the Eucharist. They confess it to me. I absolve them conditionally, since the penalty actually prevents them from receiving absolution absolutely (that was fun to say), and tell them to come back in two weeks. I write a letter to the Apostolic Penitentiary, the prelate who is empowered to lift censures in the name of the Pope, telling him that a penitent has confessed to that sin and I request the faculty to lift the censure due it. Two weeks later, I should have an envelope from Rome (they move very quickly), and inside it are two smaller envelopes, with a number printed on the outside. I open the letter in the presence of the penitent, while they open their copy. I read the letter, which decrees the lifting of the censure and imposes a penance. I take their copy and mine and burn them both, to protect the seal, and then I keep the envelope–that number is a reference number the Apostolic Penitentiary uses to follow up if need be.
Is it possible that the excommunication would not be lifted?
 
Absolution cannot be conditioned on anything, really, otherwise the seal might be violated. That is, if I say “I will absolve you of murder if you turn yourself in,” then that violates the seal. Or if I say “I will absolve you of x sin that you keep on doing, and the absolution kicks in as soon as you’re done doing the sin.” I can’t really do that either.
Thank you Father - this comes up here on CA, so having you state it in black and white for all is much appreciated. Bookmarked.
 
Could you go to Confession without really believing Catholicism, just to get things you feel guilty about off your chest? Let’s say you didn’t fully want to stop but there was still some sense of relief in confessing,could someone go and just leave before absolution?
 
Thanks for all your answers, Father. I often start my confession with something positive. For example that I briefly thank God for something good He has done in my life since my last confession or how the advice/ penance of my last confession has helped me grow. Do you think this is appropriate?
 
Could you still answer this question of me, Father? (only if you want to, of course).
I would really appreciate this, because I am sincerely wondering about this.
Thank you for all the good work you are doing for God and for all of us by answering all our questions.
 
Each priest is different. For me, I try to give SMART penances:

Specific (you know exactly what it is)
Measurable (you know when you’ve done it)
Attainable (you are able to do it)
Relevant (not as important, see below)
Timely (you can do it in a reasonable timeframe).
Ohhh… you’ve been to “Good Shepherds, Good Leaders” training, haven’t you? 🤣 👍
 
Could you go to Confession without really believing Catholicism, just to get things you feel guilty about off your chest? Let’s say you didn’t fully want to stop but there was still some sense of relief in confessing,could someone go and just leave before absolution?
Two distinct issues there, right?
  • Can non-Catholics approach the sacrament of reconciliation?
  • Can a person reasonably be considered to be contrite if they really aren’t interested in even attempting to separate themselves from the sin?
One might suggest, to the first question, that a better approach might be to schedule a meeting with a priest and engage in a discussion (a la pastoral counseling). Walking into the confessional merely for the purposes of counseling feels a bit ‘superstitious’ to me, especially for a non-Catholic, don’t you think?

To the second question: if the whole purpose of confessing one’s sins – even from a mere Scriptural perspective – is contrition, what would ‘lack of contrition’ mean in this context? One must intend to try to avoid the sin! So… what would it mean for a person to say to someone, “I’m committing adultery. Boy, that feels good to get off my chest! Gotta run – I’m meeting my illicit lover in ten minutes at the hotel down the street!”…? Wouldn’t that mean that there’s not really contrition, or at the very least, that there’s an opportunity to discuss what true contrition really looks like?
 
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Each priest is different. For me, I try to give SMART penances:

Specific (you know exactly what it is)
Measurable (you know when you’ve done it)
Attainable (you are able to do it)
Relevant (not as important, see below)
Timely (you can do it in a reasonable timeframe).
To be mostly joking, this is scary! When I worked in industry, this is exactly the method they used to give us our yearly evaluations. While it was probably the best and fairest way to give an evaluation in industry, do you ever think it is a wee bit too corporate?

FYI: Thanks for the very good and helpful thread!
 
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do you ever think it is a wee bit too corporate?
How so? If it’s a good idea, why would I care that it’s common in corporate settings? I didn’t learn it in a corporate setting. I learned it in Scouting. I used to teach a leadership course and we incorporated the SMART method for goal-setting. I think it’s a handy way to help you get into the right mindset about assigning penances.
 
I won’t say that it’s not appropriate, but confession is for confessing sins. Sometimes people will come into the confessional and start listing all the good things that have happened, the good things they’ve done, or the things they want to ask God for. That’s not really what it’s for. Just confess your sins and move on.
 
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