Ask the Atheist

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Question…Have you heard this one before?

An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. Standing on her front porch, she would shout “PRAISE THE LORD!”

Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, “There ain’t no Lord!!”

Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted “PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!”

The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, “PRAISE THE LORD.”

The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, “Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn’t.”

The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, “PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!”
 
Question…do you say Grace before eating a meal? If yes does it go kinda’ like this?

"Now let us all join hands and say Grace.

Oh gracious (insert name of supermarket here), we thank thee for thy bountiful gifts. Tonight we feast on generous helpings of food that were purchased from your glourious shelves. You graced us with sales on this leg of lamb for us to feast on, and two-for-one specials on macaroni and cheese. And we will try, in your name, to buy healthy food, so we do not succumb to the evils of the fat demons. For we know if we are wicked and eat too much of the brownies we recieved, we will be under the power of the devilish personal trainer for eternity. We must withstand Fat’s temptation and defeat him with regular exercise. In (insert name of supermarket here)'s name,

Dig in."
 
D Quintero:
What is your view on abortion?
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Well, I myself would never have one. 😉 I’ve never to have personally been in a situation where it was even an option.

I’m definitely in favor of taking steps to reduce abortion as much as possible, especially ensuring everyone who wants it has access to birth control (obviously, I don’t consider using birth control to be any sort of bad).

I’m in pretty much complete agreement with the Supreme Court in Roe v. Wade: I’m against criminalizing or even pressuring against first-trimester abortion. I don’t think a blastocyst or embryo deserves as much legal protection as a grown person. I think the government has legitimate authority to regulate second-trimester abortions, and I think third-trimester abortions should be performed only when the fetus is dead, moribund, ancephelic (without a brain), or there is a truly life-threatening emergency.

I would never under any circumstances agree to coerce or pressure a woman to have an abortion.
 
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contemplative:
question…would you mind another joke?
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I love jokes. It’s another specialty of mine. I estimate that I know about 20,000 jokes.
“Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty , Amen.”
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:rotfl:Very good.

Here’s one:

A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of a joke?”
 
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contemplative:
Question…Have you heard this one before?
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Nope… It’s a new one!
“PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!”
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Now that hilarious! :bowdown2: That’s definitely going into my repertoire!
 
All but blind
in his chambered hole
Gropes for worms
the four-clawed mole.

All but blind
in the evening sky
The hooded bat
Twirls softly by.

All but blind
in the burning day
The barn-owl blunders
on his way. And blind as are
these three to me
So, blind to Some One
I must be.
— Walter de la Mare

Read here for more details about this poem.
 
A Homily of Fr. Matthew Kelty, O.C.S.O. for the Millennium Midnight Mass, Dec 31, 1999*:*** (Lk 4**:**16-21)]

A Superior Metaphor of God

After life itself, indeed, before it, is there a greater mystery on earth, any gift, that compares with time? Time is the ultimate profundity of God’s creation. Man and woman can create life with God, life temporal and eternal life. We can even terminate bodily life, if we would. But we cannot create time, nor destroy it, no matter how savage we be.
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Question…Won’t you read more here?

Christ yesterday and today.

The beginning and the end.
The Alpha and the Omega.
All time belongs to Him.
And all the ages.
To Him be glory and power
Through every age
Forever. Amen.
 
*Quote: Ex 20:4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
20:5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
*A literal reading of these verses seems to compel the conclusion that one should neither create images nor worship them.

So no baseball cards, no statue of liberty, no art, no TV, no photography? You can’t read the bible like a childrens’ book.
 
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Zachary:
So no baseball cards, no statue of liberty, no art, no TV, no photography? You can’t read the bible like a childrens’ book.
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It’s your book, not mine.
 
“No, I don’t know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God.”
41st US President George Bush
**
What do you think of this quotation?
 
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contemplative:
Were you born and raised with any religious background?
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I was baptisized a Catholic; my father and his family are Italian Roman Catholics (is that a redundancy?). My mother and her family are diversely Christian, mostly Baptist, and I have an uncle who’s an Episcopal priest. I don’t remember ever being in a Catholic Church until much later in life, at midnight mass on Christmas. I’ve been to a number of services conducted by my uncle while attending family gatherings.

I went to an Episcopal private school for one year, and a Quaker private school (Brooklyn Friends School) for four or five years. I attended Quaker meeting for about ten years, but never became a member. I’ve socialized with people of just about every religion and pseudo-religion, including neo-Paganism, New Age stuff, Buddhism, and my wife is a Muslim apostate.

One of my sons is an Buddhist, the other is an atheist.
“No, I don’t know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God.”
41st US President George Bush
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It’s important to note that while President Bush (pere) probably did actually say this (although in the hearing of only one person, so there’s no corroboration), both he and President Bush (fils) have repudiated the sentiment.

It’s also probably important to note thatThe Pledge of Allegiance was written for the popular children’s magazine Youth’s Companion by socialist author and Baptist minister Francis Bellamy on September 7, 1892.
…
In 1954, after a campaign initiated by the Roman Catholic Knights of Columbus, Senator Homer Ferguson of Michigan sponsored a bill to amend the pledge to include the words under God, to distinguish the U.S. from the officially atheist Soviet Union, and to remove the appearance of flag and nation worship. The phrase “nation, under God” previously appeared in Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. On June 8, 1954, Congress adopted this change.
  • from Wikipedia*
    Neither President Bush, President Lincoln nor Senator Ferguson have the authority to abrogate or amend the Constitution.
 
I’d be interested to hear your opinion of how the bible came to be and how it matured to what is it’s final state.
 
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Mijoy2:
I’d be interested to hear your opinion of how the bible came to be and how it matured to what is it’s final state.
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I’m not an historian. I’ve read a few things here and there, but I mostly rely on the opinions of scholars. Wikipedia has some interesting articles on The Jewish and Christian Bibles.

I’ve seen no evidence hold up which would suggest any sort of paranormal origin of the Bible.
 
PLP: What was your family’s reaction to you declaring yourself an atheist? Did you give your children a choice of what they wanted to believe without trying to influence them one way or another?
 
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PLP:
I’m not an historian. I’ve read a few things here and there, but I mostly rely on the opinions of scholars. Wikipedia has some interesting articles on The Jewish and Christian Bibles.

I’ve seen no evidence hold up which would suggest any sort of paranormal origin of the Bible.
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See, the problem with this thread is that, since you started it, the burden of proof lies on you. You’ve said to ask you any question, implying you’d provide an answer or at least try for one. But, mostly you are saying that you have no proof something exists so it cannot. You never said “here is the proof it does not exist.” Put your arrogance aside, we’ve heard plenty about how well read you are and how many diverse religious and atheist people you know, again, implying you know answers. So give some are drop the thread.
 
I’m, sorry, let me add to that. I’ve read a lot of the questions and answers and I’ve gotten the impression that you are trying 1 of 2 things. Either you practicing online so that when you come face-to-face with someone you will be prepared to tell them an atheist answer OR you are looking for answers yourself and hiding behind your thread name. If it is #2, I suggest some insight into 1 Peter 1:7. Otherwise, don’t waste you time.
 
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mikew262:
PLP: What was your family’s reaction to you declaring yourself an atheist?
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There was no substantial reaction. Most of them disagree with me, but it’s not a relevant factor in my relationships with them.
Did you give your children a choice of what they wanted to believe without trying to influence them one way or another?
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Well, I gave them a choice. I didn’t, however, hide my own beliefs, and I answered all their questions honestly and to the best of my ability, carefully distinguishing opinion from fact.
 
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