Asked not to be confirmation sponsor

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Hello everyone. I’ve searched and searched for anyone who may have had a similar experience as me with no luck. I was asked to be a confirmation sponsor for a friend’s/co-worker’s daughter. I gladly accepted and was overjoyed because she asked me on my birthday and she was going to be my first godchild since I recently converted to the church. But one day her mom was upset with things that happened at work that I had no control over. She didn’t speak to me for a week. Then her daughter came to me crying and said she had to choose a new sponsor because her mom made her. I comforted her the best I could and told her it was her decision. Afterwards I spoke to her mom and she denied everything. I’m so hurt. I’m confused. I have been praying for wisdom and understanding and most definitely for their family. But I can’t seem to wrap my head around it.
 
You can still be a spiritual mother/father. You also aren’t obligated to so if you forget or something you won’t be culpable.
 
If the daughter is a young adult she may not need a sponsor. Ask your priest or hers. Also, maybe the mother is not in favor of the daughter being confirmed. Peace.
 
It sounds like your friendship with this woman isn’t as on solid ground as you thought. She seems a bit flighty. It’s a shame that she’s put her daughter and you in the middle of the situation. I suggest that you talk out your work situation between the two of you directly. Don’t beat around the bush. And also the daughter situation. I think you need to speak to her about it. Clear the air. If she doesn’t wanna be your friend anymore, that’s fine.
 
Even adults needed sponsors at my parish when my wife and I came into the Church.

As for the situation I agree that you should speak to her mother about it (privately) and kindly and respectfully get to the truth of the matter.

I also agree with VanitasVanitatum that even if for some reason you do not become her sponsor that does not mean you cannot try to assist her in spiritual matters.
 
I think with things like this you just have to give it some time. In some cases the best thing you can do is pray. You can still be there for the daughter when she needs you and hopefully the mother will come around.
 
MaryEstelle2 said:
If the daughter is a young adult she may not need a sponsor.
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I’m not sure where you got this idea. Confirmation calls for a sponsor.
MaryEstelle2 said:
Also, maybe the mother is not in favor of the daughter being confirmed.
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That is an odd conclusion from what the original poster stated. Nothing indicates the daughter is not being confirmed, but rather the mother has rescinded her request that the OP be the sponsor.
 
I said ‘may not’ need a sponsor as the person is an adult. There may be circum stanstances where it it is not possible to find a sponsor for some reason.
 
Just a quick point. A sponsor for confirmation is not a godparent.

Also, that is a sad story. I’m sorry this has happened. But ultimately even if they were to change their minds it probably shows the relationship you have with this family is not trustworthy or steady enough to be a sponsor anyway. Again, I’m sorry and I know this is painful for you and the girl.
 
There is some confusion about Conformation sponsors or sponsors in gen. If you came into the Church as an adult it you were spossidly Confirmed at the same time as your baptism at the Mass. Eastren Religions have a do it ‘all at once’ upon the baptism of the infant. I found nothing that says you need a sponor when getting marrarg in you have been confirmed. in the past. I am still looking for the need for a ‘sponsor’ for marrage, but for a ‘witness,’ yes. Let me know. I am always willing to learn.
 
Let’s assume that an injustice was committed. Patiently bearing a wrong is a spiritual work of mercy. Let your current state of mind lead you to pray for all involved - even yourself.
 
The whole discussion about whether the kid needs a sponsor or not is irrelevant. Obviously, wherever she is being confirmed expects her to have a sponsor, or she would not have chosen one in the first place. Also, this is clearly not a case of the kid suddenly “not needing a sponsor”, it’s a case of her choosing a sponsor who was a family friend, and then her mother had some kind of difficulty or falling out with the friend and didn’t want her to be the sponsor and told her daughter to choose someone else.

OP, I’m sorry that you are having trouble with your friend from work, and also sorry that she isn’t honest enough to come out and tell you what’s wrong and instead chose to put her daughter in the middle by making an issue out of her Confirmation sponsorship.

As others have said, you can still provide spiritual guidance to this girl. Her mother sounds like a very unreliable “friend”, and if I were you I would continue to be pleasant to her and treat her as Christ would want us to, but I would also distance myself from the friendship. True friends do not get upset at you over things at work that are outside your control. True friends also are honest, and would tell you outright that they are upset with you over XYZ, not deny that anything’s wrong while their daughter is coming to you in tears saying she’s being forced to choose another sponsor.
 
Yes I have sat down with the mother and tried to talk it out but she denies doing anything wrong. I feel better after saying my peace and trying to work the problem out. God works in mysterious ways. I guess I wasn’t meant to be her sponsor and I’ve got to accept that even though it’s painful. Thank you for your response
 
Lookingforadvice said:
I wasn’t meant to be her sponsor and I’ve got to accept that even though it’s painful.
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Chances are, she is preventing you just to be petty; which is not indicative of an actual friend.

Spiritually, perhaps it is not time [yet] for you to serve as a sponsor. You said you recently entered the Church. Maybe the Lord has more for you to learn and will present another opportunity in the future to serve as a sponsor.
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God answers all prayers:  (1) Yes, OR (2) No, OR (3) Not Yet
You can spiritually adopt the young lady, and pray for her. Offer things up for her. Maybe she will thaw her mother’s heart over time.

Deacon Christopher
 
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