Asking a Catholic Girl Out

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Melodeonist

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I’m 20, but I’ve never dated. In my college’s Newman Club there’s a pious Catholic girl who has caught my attention. I guess you could say I have a crush on her. 😳

Like me, she is also a musician. I found out she plays the mandolin, so I gave her my old mandolin I had from years ago when I was still trying to find what instrument I liked best. I told her I gave her it because I needed more room and that it wouldn’t be worth it to resell it on eBay. What I didn’t tell her is that I also gave her it because I admire her and her faith.

How do I go about telling her I like her? This is something I’ve never done before. I don’t want to sound like a creep. :hugs:
 
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Find a concert or some other type of music thingy in town or on campus, and ask her if she wants to go to it with you. And maybe a bite to eat afterwards if things go well.
 
Just ask her to do something with you. "Would you like to have dinner/go to the movies/bowling etc with me. Something like that will let you chat to her in a casual manner.

Tell her you admire her and her faith.
You won’t sound or look like a creep unless you are wearing nothing but a trench coat and speaking in a raspy voice.
 
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Thanks for the replies! I like the concert idea and the bowling idea. I also like the dinner idea, which could easily go with the bowling as the bowling alley also has a restaurant. 👍

The hard part would be finding a time/place to tell her as during the Newman Clubs duration we are usually discussing the topic of the day unless it’s before or after we start. I wouldn’t want to make her embarrassed by telling her such things in front of others in a group setting.
 
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I wouldn’t tell her all that stuff in one go. Ask her out first. Maybe just say, could I speak to you for a moment.

If you go on a date and it goes well then maybe I’d say to her…you know, I really admire your faith and I like you a lot. Perhaps we could go out again?
 
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I don’t know if this would help at all, but if there’s ever a guy who is interested in me… I would prefer if he is friendly towards me first. I would feel sooo uncomfortable if a guy I hardly talk to were to ask me out (I hate hurting someone’s feelings like that). There was this guy recently who kind of flirted with me (and like 5 other of my friends at the same time so I guess it doesn’t count…yikes) and up till that moment, I had no idea that he existed. I panicked and avoided him and his friends.

So if I was that girl, I would prefer if we had casual conversations first before you try anything. But keep in mind that I’m a huge coward.

You could ask her to have lunch/dinner after that session, or you could watch a movie, which is a less awkward situation to be in because you could talk about the movie during dinner if you have nothing else to talk about imo.

I don’t know if I recommend asking her out+telling her about your feelings at the same time. I would assume guys usually ask out a girl first and then tell her if it goes well?

As to when…if she is there early, you could talk to her and then ask her out. If not you could talk to her after the session, maybe walk her out to her car/wherever she goes after? Which is why it’s good to be able to have friendly conversations with her, so you could talk to her before and after the session
 
Start with a group. At the Club meeting say “Hey, Sally, Joe, Jane, Doug - let’s go grab a Starbucks (or dessert or some sort of friendly group thing to do).”
 
Agree. As a woman, a man gushing about how much he cares for me on the first date would totally creep me out! Be companionable but NOT NEEDY.
 
Thanks for the replies! As Proverbs 27:17 says “Iron is sharpened by iron; one person sharpens another.” I feel your replies have sharpened me.

I must admit talking to her during the group session is kind of difficult, as we are usually discussing how to help the group grow and ways to help people after we are done with the Bible study or the discussion for the day. She is also the student government president, so she’s probably pretty busy when she’s on campus.

As I am a huge fan of bowling, perhaps I could get some of the people to go bowling with me. After that though, I’m not sure I’d know what to do next. Perhaps I could tell her, assuming she would go, that I enjoyed bowling with her. I don’t know. 🤔
 
Ask her for coffee? Or to take a walk on campus. Ask for her phone number. And call her. And after that make plans.

An accordion player and a mandolin player. You have music in common.
 
Easy. Next time you see her, simply walk up to her and say, “You know, last night I was reading the Book of Numbers and I realized, I don’t have yours”.

Slam Dunk.
 
I would image there is social time afterward after the session. That would be ideal.
 
1Lord1Faith said:
Find a concert or some other type of music thingy in town or on campus, and ask her if she wants to go to it with you. And maybe a bite to eat afterwards if things go well.
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Yes.

And absolutely NO more physical gifts until you are officially dating.

You don’t want to look like you are a) trying to buy her affection or b) trying to put her under an obligation.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Agree. As a woman, a man gushing about how much he cares for me on the first date would totally creep me out!
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Yeah–the natural response to that is “you don’t know me.”

Affectionate effusions are actually much more flattering from a person that does actually know you.
 
Yesterday I signed up for Catholic Match. There are more young faithful Catholic women than I had expected. Wish me luck, and please pray for me!

On a side note, my SD said that he feels I’d make a good priest or deacon. I don’t know if I would be able to handle celibacy too well because I have a very strong libido. I’d probably be tempted with impure thoughts, as I am now, very frequently and form crushes on the young women in the parish. 😳

Perhaps God wants me to be a deacon?
 
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I guess everyone is different, but I don’t see the need to ease into it with a group outing. If you like her, just ask her on a casual date (and bowling is a good suggestion). College is a great time in life for young men and women to be going on lots of fun dates with different people. It doesn’t need to be, and shouldn’t be, a big serious deal.

(That said, having a group of friends to regularly hang out with and go out together is an important and fun part of college, too. Many wonderful memories are made that way.)
 
It would be wonderful to serve the Church as a priest or deacon. I am sure your spiritual director can help you in the direction you need to go.
 
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