Asking for private signs

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Have you ever asked for a kind of private sign when making tough decisions?
What are the teachings on this?
 
We long for them sometimes, when facing tough decisions,
but there is always the possibility that we are tempted to grab on to what seem like signs,
but are only coincidences, because we so desperately want them.
It’s especially difficult when the same dilemma cycles on our head, day after day.
Sometimes the signs are there already, as to why certain decisions are either workable or not,
but the choices are unpalatable.

Sometimes we just have to see how things play out, and only then do we find the true answer.

https://www.catholicculture.org/culture/library/view.cfm?recnum=9745

May the Holy Spirit inspire you/us to know and fulfill His loving will for our lives
 
Early on when I was first beginning to discern my vocation, I asked God for a sign in the form of zebras if I was to be a nun.

I didn’t know at the time that it is something that you should probably not do, especially so specifically.

Anyhow, I asked for the sign in the form of zebras because I never hear or see anything about zebras anywhere. It was late, I was in bed, I prayed for it, I slept.

The next morning, I was looking through facebook. I had come across this really interesting looking pot of flowers in the theme of Alice in Wonderland. There was I plant I really liked, so I looked everywhere in the comments for the name of this plant. Gladly, I found the list and searched through the many plant names in that large comment. And guess what it was called?

A zebra plant.

Late that night, I was looking online again for some summer dinner recipes. Guess what one of the recipes was called?

Zebra Gazpacho soup.

I thanked God that night for the signs and told Him I got the message loud and clear. I learned later on that we are not supposed to ask for signs and to instead pray for God’s will. This is a much smarter approach.
 
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Similar to if we read or learn about a place ,name,object and then suddenly we’re hearing them mentioned in all sorts of places,coincidences ?That happens a lot
 
Perhaps some may think that, but to me it was different. I haven’t recalled seeing anything else about zebras since. Where would I? Haha, it’s such a strange thing to hear about.

To add: it’s not necessarily a bad thing to ask for a sign. But it should be done sparingly. It can be done as a way to confirm God’s will in your life. The case with St. Therese and Pranzini comes to mind when speaking of signs from God. In my case, I do think it was acceptable.

But if someone were to ask God for a sign for His existence, that would be crossing the line. To ask for a sign that doing a certain thing would be a sin, that would be wrong. In matters of discernment, that is a different situation. To ask God for a sign that what road you are taking is the one He wills for you, that would be okay in my opinion.
 
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You will know when you feel it in your heart. God lets us know if we truly want an answer even if it is not what we are looking for. Asking for a sign that you can see, well that does happen as we all know, St. Therese does deliver roses. May you find peace in whatever you are looking for. God Bless.
 
It can be so exhausting, can’t it, swinging back and forth, trying to make the best decision.

Once I wrote this in desperation, dear friend:

Seeking God’s will

Our God, You see me anxious about discerning the right course, and then my subsequent doubts. I fear that if I misconstrue Your will, someone may be denied what You would delight to give through me. Bless them, supplying what my selfishness or confusion denies them.

I trust that whatever good I honestly attempt will be guided and transformed by You, regardless of my obvious failures. Perhaps when I die, I may discover that my present life hides the overflowing richness of Your love embracing others through my efforts and prayers.

Our God, whatever I attempt, achieve or leave undone in my efforts to find the best path for my activities and relationships, let Your desires and the good of others, along with my own welfare and development, be abundantly fulfilled. I trust in You, who write straight with crooked paths, to grant this prayer through Jesus Your Son. October 2007

Accept my gift of myself to You. Temper my faith and faithfulness in Your love within the events of my life. Burn away my sinfulness and apathy through daily responsibility and prayer. Heal my confusion and stress. Let everything for which You created me, be completely fulfilled. Worship and delight Yourself in my life.
 
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Yes, absolutely exhausting
Thank you so much for sharing those words Trishie X
 
I don’t normally ask for “signs”, but there was one occasion when I did so.

I’ve made the claim ad infinitum that my father appeared in my room on the night he died. I still remember much of what we said, and in particular the terrifying scream at the end, just before he disappeared again (and I haven’t seen him since). As it turned out, his body wasn’t found for four days, and I still remember my uncle turning up to give me the news, including the fact it was a mess due to the fact of his delayed discovery.

I counted back 4 days and then thought, “Then what the hell was that the other night!!?”

I won’t go any more into that, but some of the things he said about future events were rather dire. Now he died in 1979. He also died at Number “X”, Rivington Street, Nundah, a Brisbane northside suburb. He appeared to me in my unit at number “X+2” Manson Parade, Yeronga, a southside suburb.

In 2005 I was driving a cab part time at night. One night I happened to be in Nundah and made my way to Rivington Street out of a sort of morbid curiosity. This got me to thinking about the things he said, so I prayed for a “sign” as I drove that might indicated if these things could be trusted or if they were a deception.

I got this sense back that I ought to know better than to ask for a “sign” (“a wicked and adulterous generation demands a sign etc…”), but I persisted anyway.

I don’'t think it was that night, but the following shift (two days later) when I was again driving the cab. I pulled up at my usual haunt of a cab rank in Queen Street facing the Queen Street Mall, and waited my turn. Eventually a bloke walked up, a bit the worse for wear, hopped in the back, and just said “Nundah!”

I replied “Where about in Nundah?” He said (he almost snapped) “Just drive! I’ll tell you where to go”.

So off we went, turning here and turning there, and ended up at “X-1 Rivington Street, Nundah”, virtually opposite the flat where my father died. As far as I was concerned, I got my sign, even if others might think it was a most unlikely coincidence. Brisbane probably has half a million residential addresses or more.

What intrigued me was that on the night he appeared, one of the things he said was “I always was doomed! I didn’t really have any choice!!” I argued back (even though I was an atheist back then) saying “That can’t be right!” He replied, “Oh, it’s right, all right. You can see that from here!”

But later he admitted “I was willing!”, so free will came into it.

Getting back to the cab episode, I had free will where I drove, there was other traffic, traiffic lights, other cabs on the rank, radio jobs, yet somehow as far as I’m concerned God brought this particular bloke to my cab just at the right time so that I ended up right opposite where my father died on the next shift after I asked for a “sign”.

Yet while I’d asked for a “sign”, I hadn’t set out to do anything different to normal. I was just driving a cab.

But He used both of us, despite our alleged “free will”, to give me the sign. Or I’m convinced He did.

And that was one of the few times I’ve ever asked for a “sign”. In fact I can’t remember any other occasions off hand.
 
I used to pray, if not beg for a sign during desperate times.

But I think the better approach , as difficult it as it may seem is to simply ask for guidance and for God’s will be done, even if it means that you will continue to suffer for a period of time.

God will deliver, and I have learned that he knows what is best for us even though we may not agree with him.
 
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I don’t doubt it Bob, I have compelling things I could report from various events in life, I just am wary about the “ no private revelation” issue on CAF, i don’t know how far those boundaries go. So I just mention the other truth, that asking for a sign too often ends up being like pulling petals of a daisy, “he loves me he loves me not” repeated , till you run out of petals, and there’s the ‘answer,’ but it isn’t.

Real instances of ‘signs’ I believe can and do happen. I never asked, nor did you, but they happened anyway, so know, Bob that i don’t discount anything you shared, sad as it was.

I know your city well, by the way
 
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Have you ever asked for a kind of private sign when making tough decisions?
All the time. Still do.
What are the teachings on this?
It’s not forbidden. But I’m not aware of any explicit teaching on it. However, I would assume that the devotion to the Little Flower, St. Therese of Lisieux would have been shut down by now, since one of its major practices is to ask for a rose if the prayer is answered.

I hope that helps.
 
This may be what is also called ‘selective attention’. Thousands of images, words, actions pass by the average person a day. But, when we learn something new, or are ‘looking’ these things suddenly ‘appear’.

Now, I do believe that ‘signs’ or coincidence/serendipity do work to let us know. And, there have been times when I was seeking God’s will I did ask. I don’t see a problem with asking the Lord for direction or help in making a decision. But, yeah asking for a ‘sign’ can quickly get into sticky territory.

There was an interesting little article that helped explain some ‘coincidences’ that had popped up in my life: https://www.damninteresting.com/the-baader-meinhof-phenomenon/
 
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When I was just 19, I was discerning a religious vocation and had been in touch (through letters – no email back then) with a contemplative community a few states away. My parents helped me make arrangements to fly out there and visit the community for a week in between college semesters.

As I traveled for that visit, I prayed that God would give me sign.

I did not ask for a particular sign – but rather something so specific to me that it couldn’t be ignored.

As the Novice Mistress escorted me into the building, another Sister came down the hallway and introduced herself – “I have the same last name as you!” (it’s an uncommon last name)

Before we reached my room in the guest wing, we met another Sister who also introduced herself – “You go XXXX College – I grew up in XXXX and my family still lives there.”

This was a community of just 18 nuns, and only 7 of them were from the US.

I received two very specific signs in my first five minutes in the building. Six months later, I entered the monastery and stayed for just over two years, until God was clearly telling me to leave.

It was an incredible grace-filled time that formed my mind and soul in a powerful way, thanks be to God!
 
I am divorced many years now. The man is the father of my children, but he has been out of our lives due to his addiction, rehabs and incarcerations. After my conversion it became apparent to me that I never pray for him, so I start. A few weeks later (this past August) I am praying the Rosary one evening and the idea to invite him to RCIA pops into my head. I thought this must be a mistake. I truly do not like being around this man…and he would never go for it. So I ask our Lady for a sign. The very next morning at 7 am I get a text that $100 was deposited into my checking account. It’s from him. He owes me A LOT of back child support. In all the years I was raising my boys I received like two support payments and now they’re all grown he’s begun paying $100 monthly. So I contact him, invite him and he says yes…lol. Please pray for us both. For his conversion and for my patience and understanding. I really, really struggle being with him.
 
I’m not sure, but I recall a thread on the old CAF that where it was advanced that we are never to ask for signs…does anyone remember that?
I remember being startled by it, as it appears to be a common practice.
 
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