Asperger's.. and all that comes with it

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exoflare

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I have really struggled just to bring myself to write this, and I don’t know why. Things look really bad for me right now, but I’m not sure where to start. But I guess you can ask for further details if you would really like to know. Still it’s hard to write this and for the moment at least, my thoughts are extremely scattered…

Basically, this is what’s happening. I have had lots of trouble with finances and trying to find a job lately. On top of this, there are all kinds of debts I will have to start paying pretty soon. Recently I’ve learned that I have Asperger’s syndrome, which wouldn’t have been such a surprise to anyone who’s known me at any time in my life, if only anyone close to me had ever heard of it… I ended up finding out what Asperger’s syndrome was purely through my own reading that I did “for fun”. There’s nothing I can do about the fact that I have it, but if anyone here is familiar with the condition you know how much it can devastate one’s ability to hold most kinds of jobs. (at least I understand WHY this happens, now) It’s like any job has to be just the right kind of job for me to be able to stand it… even though I would work hard… aaaagh… I can’t explain it but I guarantee if you know someone with Asperger’s they would know exactly what I’m talking about. I don’t know what else to say and I don’t know how I can even begin to describe the kind of despair I am falling into right now. Lately I’ve started to isolate myself more and more from my friends here and that hasn’t helped either. Most of them probably think I moved or something by now. 😦 You guys, I’m not writing this at 5am because I’m an early riser… it’s because I stayed up all night and that’s become the trend lately. I couldn’t fall asleep on purpose now to save my life.

I just don’t know at this point. I can’t see any way out of the mess that lays ahead of me besides being fortunate enough to drop dead immediately after making a good confession. It sickens me to say things like that but I’m not joking. God I wish I were joking.

On another note, you guys who frequent this forum and pray for other people that you don’t even know… even with so many requests here all the time… that is the most awesome thing and I admire you for it. It’s just very hard for me to empathize with anyone but myself right now and that worries me… at the moment I cannot really fathom how you can motivate yourself to do such things. Right now I struggle to do what God would want me to do at any given moment because I just logically know it’s the “right” thing to do and all the logical reasons why. However, the fulfilling sense of love I used to get from such things has all but left me now. It’s the strangest feeling, but I really wish I could get it back somehow. Well please know that your prayers are very appreciated, in any case. Maybe this won’t have to end up in disaster. 😦
 
Praying very hard for you. I hope you are seeing someone, like a counselor, to help you through this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, you can not see it or imagine it now but it will come. I have been through enough impossible situations in my life to know nothing is impossible for God and things will always get better even when we can not see how. Do not lose hope and if you haven’t already consult your doctor about seeing a counselor to help you cope with your diagnosis.
We will all be praying very hard for you!
 
In fact the doctor (both of them) was one example of those I started to isolate myself from… bad idea, I suppose. Though I don’t see how a doctor would be any help in regard to financial troubles…

Thank you very much for your prayers.
 
Praying very hard for you! Please persevere in coping. God loves you and I pray for the best for you.
 
My son Jason, who is 21, has Asperger’s. It took years to get the correct identification of what it was that was getting in the way of his social development. He is a whiz at anything creative–he used to spend hours building the most amazing and intricate things with Legos. He masters video games quickly. He always seemed to live inside his own head. It took a lot of work for him to make it through high school. The biggest problem those with Asperger’s have to deal with is communication. Those with Asperger’s have a hard time reading body language and facial expressions of people when they converse. The statements and opinions expressed by Asperger people are often seen as inappropriate. They are forthright to a fault. Jason still can take my breath away by what he does and says in public. He has a job at a factory, with machinery, which is really good for him. He doesn’t have to communicate with the machine, and his brain is so good at 3D type of thinking that he can work well with complex machinery. I think Asperger’s is overall something quite positive. Like many other mental or neurological deficiencies, the real soul of a person tends to be seen because there is no pretense. Our biggest challenge with Jason is that he is not a believer, and those he hangs with have given him some really bad attitudes toward Christianity. It’s hard to reason with someone with Asperger’s because that one cannot really put himself into someone else’s shoes, so to speak. I pray that you are able to find the help you need. Send me a message, and I’d love to keep in closer touch. (Sheila) 👍
 
Sheila,

Your observations and explanation of Asperger’s syndrome are pretty much dead-on. It’s important to keep in mind, however, that the individual talents displayed by those with AS do seem to vary from person to person… For one person, like your son, it may be spatial skills and for someone else it may be - let’s say - verbal ability or mathematics. In some cases I think these special abilities can be very specific and much harder to p(name removed by moderator)oint. The bad thing is for a lot of people with AS, their talents may not always be so obviously “employable”… the fact that social skills are such an Achilles’ heel in an employment world where it’s all “who you know and not what you know” doesn’t help things much either.

I do appreciate your prayers, and all the others here who have taken time out to pray for me here. It really means a lot.
 
exoflare,

There was a time when I thought my daughter had Asperger’s; I had looked at so many other diagnoses for her behavior and no therapist, psychiatrist or any other practitioner could p(name removed by moderator)oint her problems. She made lists, hundreds and hundreds of them; she created worlds out of imaginary characters and towns and furniture and jobs - it was fascinating and yet frightening. She could not make or keep friends and is, to this day, a lone wolf. As it turns out, her problem seems not to have been Asperger’s, but she is in therapy now, living in another state (which is a major deal, as attached to me as she had been). She is self-supporting and is trying hard to make friends. It’s not easy, but when confronted with the alternative she decided to suit up and show up and she is finding her way, with the grace of God.

I had been through my own trials with bi-polar disorder, which I have had all my life; but I was not diagnosed until 19 years ago, when I was 36 years old. I tried every medication available to treat the illness - and suffered innumerable side effects. All this with my 2-year-old in the next room and no husband to tend to her when I discovered I literally could not get out of bed I was so drugged. After much trial and error I settled on a combination of medications which have quieted down the “Committee” in my head and allowed me to lead a fairly normal life. I can’t return to my old job because the high-profile demands are enormous and risky, so I’ve settled for a small job in a small town. I am 55 and live at my brother’s because I can’t afford to live alone, but it’s all right because I’ve found there are things to laugh about and I spend time with my sweet pets, who are my champions. I long for something better, but when a genuine disorder is present it’s a matter of first things first.

I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you can come up for air long enough to see your doctor. Challenge your practitioner to offer you something substantial to manage your illness. If one thing doesn’t work, try something different - I tried over 20 different combinations of drugs to find something that actually allowed me to stand up and live and be authentic to myself, the way God intended me to be. You will not blow through this. But you can find a way to manage it, design a fulfilling life, and make progress. I embraced bi-polar disorder. I use it to my advantage. God put Asperger’s in your life for a reason. Learn to manage it and then use it to your advantage. That will make it a gift and not a burden.

Let us hear how it’s going.

Blessings,

marietta
 
Praying for you to have Hope!
Hope:signofcross: for a job that will work to use your talents.
Hope:signofcross: to get with at least one person to join you in prayer each day.
Hope :signofcross: that love will infiltrate your being, the love of God you can show others.
Hope :highprayer: brought to you by the faith you are expressing for help.
May God hear you and may you hear God.
Let us pray to the Lord.
Lord hear our prayer.
 
I am praying for you exoflare.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
You are certainly suffering dreadfully!!!..and in many ways. I will be keeping you in prayer with The Sacred Heart and Our Lady of Perpetual Help. May The Lord bring you to a happier and more peaceful place and soon…keeping you in daily prayer…Barb
:signofcross:
 
Still praying very hard for you to St. Dymphna and for all who suffer from these problems.
 
Exoflare 😦 I am praying for you. God Bless for you for having the courage to write on this board and request prayers. God will provide for you. Jesus loves you 🙂
 
J†M†J
Praying for your intentions:

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

God Bless
In Jesus through Mary
Steve
 
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who prayed for me here. Things seem to be looking up a bit more now, and I know your prayers have helped. There are still quite a few issues I have to deal with, but it doesn’t all seem quite as overwhelming lately.

God bless you, you guys are the best!
 
exoflare said:
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who prayed for me here. Things seem to be looking up a bit more now, and I know your prayers have helped. There are still quite a few issues I have to deal with, but it doesn’t all seem quite as overwhelming lately. God bless you, you guys are the best!
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Three suggestion s come to mind: Father Benedict Groeschel, a priest and clinical psychologist, recommends forcing yourself to get out and perform any amount of charitable work with those worse off than you are, such as the profoundly disabled. It restores your sense of perspective and gives you someone to pray for. It takes your thoughts off of yourself and calls your compassion into the present.

Second, if you are not receiving support now, apply for disability or a similar program to help you. That is precisely why taxes are collected, and donations made to charities. Check with your local parish or the archdiocese for help that is available. There are many persons, known in charitable circles, who are not disabled or truly needy, who survive off of charity. You have a bona fide need, at least at this time. With prayer, all will improve.

Third, contact a local college or vocational school for testing. You have talent and ability. The problem is matching you up with an employer. And, praise God that He has found you worthy to be tested. In testing comes strength.

Merciful Creator God, You conceived of Exoflare from all eternity as an irreplaceable part of Your Divine plan. You have sustained Exoflare through every trial and test. May Your Heavenly and unfathomable love be upon Exoflare in this hour of need, providing the spiritual healing, confidence, faith and trust needed to ensure the completion of Your desire. Grant that Exoflare’s ability to produce work is restored and even improved, so that human dignity is maintained and a cheerful heart emerges. Cast far away the spirits of gloom that sadden Your servant. Send gracious and loving companions who are filled to over flowing with compassion and understanding so that Exoflare once again finds Your gift of life praiseworthy. We ask this through Christ, our Lord, Who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, One God for ever and ever. Amen, alleluia!

Christ’s peace.
 
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