Asperger's and Catholicism

[Ad_Collegium]

I was wondering if any of you would understand this and be able to advise me. I am a college freshman who just started really trying to get back into the faith after like ten years of being agnostic. I have Asperger’s Syndrome and it makes being a Catholic kind of difficult for me. Because of my disorder I need to understand things logically or else they won’t click- I just can’t grasp them, or I’ll question them to death. You’d think, what with its precision and complexity, that classic Latin theology would make this easy… but nope. I’m intelligent enough to understand it as a system, but it’s too abstract, I can never truly grasp it at a level wherein it would become natural. It all congeals into a big clot in my head and that frustrates the heck out of me. And that brings me to another problem, mainly that the Catholic college community is very charismatic, and therefore it is very feelings-oriented. Our priest, my friends, the FOCUS Missionaries (I find FOCUS to be very charismatic), etc., they all try to fix my little “head-over-heart” problem, but my mind isn’t wired like that, and all I wind up doing is mimicking others’ lifestyles in an essentially fruitless attempt to feel something/fit in (sometimes I’m honestly not sure which sometimes). I never can really bring myself to feel like a Christian, devotions are dry to me, and I know that we’re supposed to foster a relationship with God (all three persons), but the emotional connections just aren’t there. Also, I feel like one of the strengths of Roman Catholicism - its diversity of spirituality - is supremely confusing for me. I like to know what’s expected of me, I like things straightforward, and Latin spirituality just scrambles my head all up. And because of my intelligence combined with my condition I question the HELL out of everything. So, I feel like the freak all the time because everyone is so normal. I read an interesting study where normal people naturally ask “Why?” to satisfy their intuition, but I’m more predisposed to ask “How?” to satisfy intellect. It’s getting to the point where I’ve practically stagnated and wonder if it’s worth the constant confusion and frustration.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

Forgive me, but your concerns all sound like stuff that almost everyone goes through at some point. I wonder if aspergers really has very much to do with it.

Also, about the people who you think have it all together… they probably don’t. They are most likely just not as interested in anything very deep as you are. Again, I don’t see that as being specific to aspergers. Some people are just more interested in ‘why’, some people are more interested in ‘how’, and some people couldn’t care less.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

So, I feel like the freak all the time because everyone is so normal.

FWIW, Jesus was pretty different from the people around Him, also.

 

[Canvas]

So, I feel like the freak all the time because everyone is so normal.

What is normal? Everyone is different.

We all have our issues. I suffer from OCD and it can cause intense anxiety in practicing the faith, which is called scrupulosity.

 

[Maezck]

Hey, Asperger’s here too/college senior! What I like to do is pick an apologetics topic, and dig in. Example, the topic of Revelation and how to interpret it and understand; I can question it to death, but I seek to instead find out the context. Have your priest maybe guide you too, my priest had books/ideas and packets for me to examine. I’ve discovered I’m a super hands on person, such a history fanatic!

Revelation topic I use https://www.amazon.com/Lambs-Supper-Mass-Heaven-Earth/dp/0385496591 from Scott Hahn. It helps me understand the Mass, as well as the book itself. Just one example. And now this topic is settled in my mind, I don’t question it to death anymore. It’s a process of sorting out my thoughts and ideas that’s needed, and it helps me to grow and become more authentic as my own person too.

Pray, take things slow, make sure to digest it. Write down any questions too.
Apologetics studies are an Asperger’s best friend.

 

[po18guy]

You can love. That is the foundation of any relationship. Begin by deciding to love God - always and everywhere. Once love is firmly cemented in your heart, God will work with you on the rest.

But first things first: love.

 

[Mary888]

I never can really bring myself to feel like a Christian, devotions are dry to me, and I know that we’re supposed to foster a relationship with God (all three persons), but the emotional connections just aren’t there.

I feel like that too sometimes. But I am very emotional anyway. I wanted to tell you that if anyone makes you feel Christian because you are not emotional or otherwise the wrong doing is on their part. Having a condition is like an illness. I have the flu (I really do right now). When I read my prayers will sound rough and not as nice as others who don’t have the flu. But it is still just as devotional as if I didn’t have the flu.
Thanks be to the Lord the Church always benefited from emotional devotions and rational ones. There isn’t a stereotype for the perfect Christian from when Christ started the Church. Well He is the stereotype but not really since He is the Son of God, the Messiah. He cannot lead, be worshipped and worship Himself back. So we follow Him and He is perfect but He’s not the stereotype.
Emotions can lead to a lot temptations and mistakes. In some ways you are at an advantage. Just because you don’t feel you have faith does not mean you don’t have it.
Emotions led me to get mad at God and I hated myself back just to stop. It’s not always a gift and Holy Church Fathers teach us that the fall is also written in our heart, we cannot trust all that it comes from there. Imho Christians today put a lot of emphasis on charismatic while many Church Fathers taught us to question ourselves a lot before presenting a revelation to the world, or being certain that an unusual even if the gift of the Holy Spirit or to tell others that the Holy Spirit is in our hearts and He tells us to tell the world this or that.
So you see your condition actually protects you from a lot of pitfalls a Christian can experience. Before psychology who knows maybe the Christian community would have named you the questioning wise guy, since you don’t fall for all the charismatic shows.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

I never can really bring myself to feel like a Christian

May I suggest that Christianity doesn’t really feel like anything.
It’s a relationship with Christ, so you may experience all sorts of different feelings, or none at all, and it’s okay.
Our feelings don’t make us Christian, our choices do.

 

[Mi_Rose]

So then it is time for basics.
The greatest of these is love. When your mind ca assent to that pick one action that shows love. Examples work in a soup kitchen at the women’s center at a crisis pregnancy center.
Then focus on one part of the faith and learn a lot about it. An example would be Franciscan spirituality,another would be one saint.
Keep your focus narrow and learn as much as you can. You don’t need to explain your interest to anyone. Just find one good thing about being Catholic and learn more about it.
Pray for God to show you where you belong.

 

[Pat_Albertson]

Read (or listen to) The Interior Castle by Teresa d’Avila. You can get to the 3rd room by yourself (I should talk, I haven’t really gotten out of the 2nd myself), but if you get beyond the 3rd room that will be up to God. There are 7 rooms in all. Only great saints get to the 7th room, but any advance along these lines is something to strive for. There are enormous rewards for those who advance along this path plus rewards in the afterlife that are virtually beyond comprehension. If you can do these things, you will get a taste of heaven in this life. I wish I had started this path much earlier in my life.

Watch this, it ought to whet your appetite:

This is the audiobook. Many’s the time now that I have fallen asleep listening to it, like a far away train journeying on and on into the night:

Do this, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

I will pray for you; you should pray for me, because I want to obtain for myself what I’m telling you to obtain for yourself.

 

[joyfulandactive]

What about studying the Catechism? That is the written formula of the faith in a concrete non abstract form? How you prefer to express those beliefs are very varied as you point out, but underneath them all is the foundation on which they all stand and that is set out very clearly in the Catechism.

 

[Flopfoot]

They try to fix you, but you ain’t broke. There are no other friends in or out of the college who are more similar to you who you feel like you can fit in with?

It’s normal to want to have “solved” the faith kind of like how you solve the problem of dental hygiene, just get into a routine of brushing your teeth every day and you don’t have to think about it any more. But I’m not sure if anyone really has solved it - I think we all spend our whole lives contemplating it

 

[Ad_Collegium]

It’s not that they blatantly try to “fix” me- I worded that poorly. Our personalities fit great, but they have a hard time if I ask for advice because they can’t think from my mindset just as I can’t think from theirs.

-Vincent Graz.

“The main thing is to make history, not to write it.”- Otto von Bismarck

 

[Jilly9]

Hi
I also have asperger’s. I am reading a book right now by someone who also has HFA: “Blessed are the misfits.” I’m getting a lot out of it, even though he comes from an evangelical background. Nothing objectionable.
Author says that Jesus said you judge a tree by its fruits. Not by its feelings.

 

[TKDB]

I have Asperger’s myself, though I’ve been a pretty devout Catholic my whole life rather than having had a period of getting back into it. I guess theology and philosophy have kind of always been among my “special interests”, so I’m constantly digging into it.

As far as the grasping theology bit, I’d say start by breaking it down and focusing on one narrow piece at a time. Start with really foundational stuff, and work your way up. Where to start kind of depends on where you’re currently at; if you’re still grappling with the existence of God in general, St. Thomas Aquinas’s “Five Ways” (and the basic metaphysical principles underlying them) might be a good starting point. (I’m a big fan of Thomistic philosophy, and I actually think he may have been on the spectrum himself given his astoundingly rigorous and comprehensive philosophical system and reputation for being quiet and reserved.) If you’re pretty convinced in the notion of God in general, then maybe the historicity of the Gospels could be a good topic to focus in on, or if you’re pretty set on Christianity in general then look into the Sacraments or Sola Scriptura. Don’t try to take too much in at once, is what I’m saying; it is indeed a tremendous amount of stuff to take in, but if you break it down to more basic parts it builds itself up in a pretty manageable way.

And even if you’re inclined to question, that’s not necessarily a bad thing – the main thing is whether you’re questioning to understand, or questioning to undermine. Particularly if you can lay enough of an intellectual framework to accept, at minimum, that the Catholic Church is a trustworthy authority you can look to for insights, then you’re on good footing. St. Anselm says, “I do not seek to understand that I may believe, but I believe in order to understand. For this I believe – that unless I believe, I should not understand.” In other words, you can’t come to understand a topic unless you’ve already decided to submit your intellect to a worthy teacher, at least to some degree. You don’t go into a physics class with the mindset of, “I won’t believe anything this professor says until he can prove it to me beyond all of my questioning,” right? Rather, you go in thinking more along the lines of, “This professor probably knows more or less what he’s talking about, so I’ll listen to what he has to say and dig deeper to try to understand if something doesn’t make sense.”

As for the campus Catholic environment, boy do I ever feel you on that one. I can kind of enjoy that sort of super-emotional “feelsy” charismatic-style stuff from time to time, but it’s not really my primary way of engaging my faith, and it doesn’t really “stick” at all. But honestly, even if it maybe isn’t part of what the people around you are taking as “normal”, that sort of thing isn’t the core of Catholic faith. Depending on your area, you might be able to find a different parish near your university with a more intellectual focus that would better suit your style.

 

[TKDB]

In general, Catholic spirituality actually endorses the idea that even “dry” spiritual exercises are still fruitful ways of growing closer to God. Ignatian spirituality in particular deals with this a lot, emphasizing that everyone’s prayer life goes through periods of “consolation” and “desolation”, and both are periods of growth if you’re open to them. It’s not a strict either/or thing by any means, but overall Catholic theology really emphasizes will and action over feelings and passions as the more important part of the spiritual life. Pick one or two simple devotions that you can make part of a routine, and just plug away at it. Lectio Divina is a great one in general, but especially (I think) for us Catholics on the spectrum, since it kind of plugs right into our inclinations toward visual thinking and repetitive focus on something. Also, just in general I cannot recommend Eucharistic adoration enough, for any Catholic. It isn’t going to be super impactful every single time, but it’s spending time with Jesus in the most literal way possible this side of Heaven, and every now and then He really makes Himself known.

Frankly, my relationship with God is generally about as aloof and emotionally shallow as my relationships with my regular humans…and in the end, I think that’s more or less fine. As I’ve been learning more about AS and how to live with it since I got my diagnosis, I’ve repeatedly come across the theme that healthy relationships when you’re on the spectrum only really come when you and the person you’re wanting to build a relationship with accept the fact that your brain just isn’t wired to relate to people in a way people generally consider “normal”. That doesn’t mean we don’t relate to people, or can’t form relationships, just that it’s going to look different. With a neurotypical human, there’s always an extent to which you’ll need to adjust your behaviour to meet their needs, but for the relationship (whether friendship or otherwise) to really thrive they’ll have to return the favor and accept that sometimes you need to express yourself in your own way, rather than the conventional neurotypical way. Fortunately, God isn’t a mere human; He doesn’t really “need” anything from us, and He’s always willing to accept us and meet us wherever we are, in our own unique way. Sometimes He’ll push us to change, so we can grow into a more fully realized sense of who He made us to be, but He’s willing to walk with us along that journey, not just waiting for us at the end of it wondering what’s taking us so long. Maybe right now you feel like you don’t really have much to put into a relationship with God, because of your neurological differences and because of your doubts and confusion, but that’s ok. All God asks of us is what we have to give – whether that’s a poor widow’s two measly cents or a wealthy man’s millions makes no difference in His eyes. What matters is the willingness to try what you can.

 

[OnAJourney]

I somewhat struggle as a Catholic with aspergers as well. I’ve tried holding off on the theology while I focus on just prayer and doing simple things. I wasn’t raised catholic or any denomination of Christian so that also doesn’t help. I’m basically starting from scratch.

There are some resources though that I would recommend. If you feel lost there are actually some priests out there online you can talk to that also have aspergers. They completely understand what you’re dealing with and how you feel. Just go to google and look up aspergers priest, you’ll find a good source of support and information

 

[Ad_Collegium]

Thanks! I’ve actually just started diving into Thomistic prayer and it really works wonders for me with the every-angle approach.

-Vincent Graz.

“The main thing is to make history, not to write it.”- Otto von Bismarck

 

[Wm777]

Forgive me, but your concerns all sound like stuff that almost everyone goes through at some point. I wonder if aspergers really has very much to do with it.

I’m 50, and I have a full on disability with Asperger’s.

After reading the OP’s question, I realize you mean well, and it will help the OP to perhaps feel a little more welcome, but what he/she means in asking is probably not what you are thinking at all.

Unless you have Asperger’s, or unless you have some kind of firsthand experience with it, then you should be aware that what may seem good to say in a kind word is likely one of those things that can result in just the opposite experience if things don’t go quite as expected.

In church, where many traditions are conserved, when things change around - issues like marginalization and persecution fast set in, simply because a person may think differently…

Pax.

 

[Wm777]

I was wondering if any of you would understand this and be able to advise me. I am a college freshman who just started really trying to get back into the faith after like ten years of being agnostic. I have Asperger’s Syndrome and it makes being a Catholic kind of difficult for me. Because of my disorder I need to understand things logically

As I mentioned in the post above, I am 50, and I have a full on disability with Aspergers. It’s compromised the majority of my life. I’ve got at least 30 years experience dealing with Doctors, Teachers and the Church (since I am a cradle Catholic).

Having perused your post, you sound like an Aspie… The agnostic history you describe is not uncommon amongst Aspie’s; you’re extremely verbose; your blunt and come across kind of rude; and you’re defending logic as a way of making sense of things…

Well, there’s bad news and good news to be had here…

The bad news is - it’s all going to change… No kidding… Aspie’s can’t stand change, so - if you want to perdure - it’s best to realize you’re going to have to learn to roll with the changes…

The good news, when you come to understand what it all actually means, it’s as solid as a rock, and it wont change.

In between, everyone (from our brethren to Satan himself) is probably going to confuse you.

Faith isn’t about logic. It is about going beyond logic. Faith let’s us make sense of things in an illogical, sinful world. What we believe is, when we see sin occur - even if it is directly against us - we have to be prepared to respond in mercy.

That’s a big change from what you’re thinking because - when those moments occur - they often happen rapidly, and they wont agree with what you’re thinking they should.

In such situations, the problem is - you end up in a vulnerable position… If you “react” to the changes the wrong way, then you could sin, or you could just give up altogether… or, if you fall back on the faith, you might end up being mistreated somehow…

It’s nothing you will learn how to cope with in one thread, that’s for sure… You’re going to have to take it one day at a time, step-by-step…

I’m happy to comment, if you still want to talk… I can see and appreciate where you’re coming from with +30 years professional foresight… But, if not, then that is okay too… Just be careful you dont crash…

Pax.

Wm