At war with the squirrels

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shipwrkd

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We live in a suburban neighborhood with many beautiful oak trees and in those trees, many annoying and destructive squirrels. Used to think they were cute and enjoyed playing games with them and my bird feeders.Then they started to cause damage. Chewed their way into the attic and nested, damaged screens by crawling on them, gnawed the siding etc. My devout Catholic wife counted 16 of them in our 75 X 100 foot front yard a few years ago and for my birthday a couple weeks later, I received a pellet gun and war was declared. It’s not a just war because I have no chance of winning it. My neighbor and I have turned this into a competition in which the rules of engagement state we can’t shoot anything not in our own yard, so if one makes it to the fence, it belongs to him. He’s not Catholic, but I’m a better shot and together, we’re over two hundred confirmed kills. Do I need to confess this???
 
Only if it’s illegal to shoot within city limits, or illegal to kill without a license if one is required. Otherwise there is nothing immoral about protecting your family and your property. And you are killing them in a quick and humane way, not a lingering death in a trap or by poison.

I see nothing wrong with this. Just make sure you are disposing of them properly so you don’t cause other pest problems.

~Liza
 
One day it rained but my windshield wipers didn’t move. I took the car to the mechanic and he found 43 pine cones inside the wiper well. Some squirrel put them there. :mad: :banghead:
 
lizaanne said:
Only if it’s illegal to shoot within city limits, or illegal to kill without a license if one is required. Otherwise there is nothing immoral about protecting your family and your property. And you are killing them in a quick and humane way, not a lingering death in a trap or by poison.

I see nothing wrong with this. Just make sure you are disposing of them properly so you don’t cause other pest problems.

~Liza
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Well, the legality depends on which city official you ask. There is a legal hunting season, but most are shot out of season. Some police say a pellet gun is not a firearm and some do. The city forester’s statement was “don’t let certain officers catch ya”. I do A LOT of hunting and will spend much time retrieving a crippled animal, even if it means stopping the hunt and letting other opportunities pass. The animals are always disposed of in a zip lock bag and placed in the garbage. If it’s quite a few days before the garbage man comes, they get put in the freezer till the day before so as not to make a big stink.Poison and live traps are out, too many pets in the neighborhood. I’m not quite as bad as my neighbor who tells me “just offered two more to the squirrel gods”. I keep telling him he’s offering to false gods 😃
 
empther said:
One day it rained but my windshield wipers didn’t move. I took the car to the mechanic and he found 43 pine cones inside the wiper well. Some squirrel put them there. :mad: :banghead:
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Wish they were as taste as lobsta’s, my oldest son lives in Lisbon. Get yourself a gun…join the war 😉
 
shipwrkd said:
I love it 👍
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Except that is a prairie dog, not a squirrel, and I doubt if prairie dogs will take up arms to defend their fellow rodents.

Our dog loves to chase squirrels but so far, her body count is not impressive. There always seems to be a tree nearby for the prey to escape to. The one she did kill was probably already sick.
 
shipwrkd said:
Wish they were as taste as lobsta’s, my oldest son lives in Lisbon. Get yourself a gun…join the war 😉
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Fried squirrel is quite good, but they are small, so it takes a few to make a meal. Fix them like fried chicken.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Fried squirrel is quite good, but they are small, so it takes a few to make a meal. Fix them like fried chicken.
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I’d have to lie to my wife and tell her they were something else. I suggested it once and her responds was “I won’t eat a rodent”! Since then, we’ve referred to them as Tree Rats. Hope she never finds one in the freezer, waiting for garbage day :o
 
I don’t know about that, but your thread title made me think of a great joke!
Three churches in a small Texas town, one Presbyterian, one Methodist and one Catholic, were having a terrible problem with squirrel infestations. Predictably, they all had different ways of dealing with the problem.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

The Methodist church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

The Catholic church came up with the best and most effective solution: they baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter!*
 
shipwrkd said:
I’m not quite as bad as my neighbor who tells me “just offered two more to the squirrel gods”. I keep telling him he’s offering to false gods
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:nope:

He doesn’t even have the right idea. The Squirrel Gods demand an offering of corn. This is why so many supermarkets sell bags of dried ears of corn; so we can propitiate their omnipresent erm… presence.

Here is an offering properly made:
 
prodigalson2011 said:
I don’t know about that, but your thread title made me think of a great joke!
Three churches in a small Texas town, one Presbyterian, one Methodist and one Catholic, were having a terrible problem with squirrel infestations. Predictably, they all had different ways of dealing with the problem.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

The Methodist church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

The Catholic church came up with the best and most effective solution: they baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter!*
Click to expand...
👍 Think my neighbor is Methodist.

I always say there’s room for all of Gods creatures…right next to the mashed potatoes
 
prodigalson2011 said:
I don’t know about that, but your thread title made me think of a great joke!
Three churches in a small Texas town, one Presbyterian, one Methodist and one Catholic, were having a terrible problem with squirrel infestations. Predictably, they all had different ways of dealing with the problem.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

The Methodist church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

The Catholic church came up with the best and most effective solution: they baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter!*
Click to expand...
:rotfl:

Love that joke! I’ve heard another variation with bats.
 
shipwrkd said:
I’d have to lie to my wife and tell her they were something else. I suggested it once and her responds was “I won’t eat a rodent”! Since then, we’ve referred to them as Tree Rats. Hope she never finds one in the freezer, waiting for garbage day :o
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When visiting my sister I noticed several rows of medium sized river rocks at one end of the yard. I asked her what they were and she told me they were squirrel graves. As her late husband dispatched each one, he gave it a proper burial. 🙂
 
mary_bobo said:
When visiting my sister I noticed several rows of medium sized river rocks at one end of the yard. I asked her what they were and she told me they were squirrel graves. As her late husband dispatched each one, he gave it a proper burial. 🙂
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awwwww

I’m thinking…fried squirrel, squirrel stew, squirrel gumbo…ahhhh the list goes on
 
shipwrkd said:
We live in a suburban neighborhood with many beautiful oak trees and in those trees, many annoying and destructive squirrels. Used to think they were cute and enjoyed playing games with them and my bird feeders.Then they started to cause damage. Chewed their way into the attic and nested, damaged screens by crawling on them, gnawed the siding etc. My devout Catholic wife counted 16 of them in our 75 X 100 foot front yard a few years ago and for my birthday a couple weeks later, I received a pellet gun and war was declared. It’s not a just war because I have no chance of winning it. My neighbor and I have turned this into a competition in which the rules of engagement state we can’t shoot anything not in our own yard, so if one makes it to the fence, it belongs to him. He’s not Catholic, but I’m a better shot and together, we’re over two hundred confirmed kills. Do I need to confess this???
Click to expand...
:rotfl::rotfl:
I just read the OP out loud to my wife and she’s laughing her butt off. Don’t know if you meant it that way, could have been the way I read it. 😉
Anyway, Penance. Take the squirrels, skin them and fry them. Then take them to the local food bank. 😉
 
prodigalson2011 said:
I don’t know about that, but your thread title made me think of a great joke!
Three churches in a small Texas town, one Presbyterian, one Methodist and one Catholic, were having a terrible problem with squirrel infestations. Predictably, they all had different ways of dealing with the problem.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

The Methodist church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

The Catholic church came up with the best and most effective solution: they baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter!*
Click to expand...
youtube.com/watch?v=K16fG1sDagU&feature=related
 
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