At war with the squirrels

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7armyrugrats said:
I hope it’s ok to jump on here. I just spent the last two days reading all the posts. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long long time. I just can’t believe it took me so long to discover this!
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Welcome aboard rugrats, the more the merrier…as long as your a decent shot 😃
Something makes me wonder why a mod hasn’t moved this out of the Moral Theology forum yet.
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Well, technically it’s a moral conundrum (if ya look hard enough) and it really hasn’t been answered yet. In fact, I’m more unsure now then when I posted the question.

Or maybe the mod has a squirrel issue and is looking for guidance…or ideas :whistle:
 
maltmom said:
Yipppppeeeeeee thanks!!! Now I just have to see if I can find one already processed to cook.
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Well mom, if ya have some intestinal fortitude, you could check out post #308. It shows step by step how to “process” one. The down side is the meat looks awfully dark (as in red). But it is called a grey skwerl so my take on it is, if you don’t know, it’s not a sin.
See how neatly I’ve tied the thread back to Moral Theology 😉
 
I have your answer! I have your answer!

Remember the story about the Presbyterians, the Methodists, and the Catholics? Turns out there were five churches involved, not three, and now we not only have the rest of the story, we also have the solution:

We knew about the Presbyterians. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will. No help from that group.

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No one mentioned the Baptists, and here’s why. In the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week. So now we know what NOT to do.

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Your neighbor is a Methodist, so we already knew what happened there. They decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back, which is why you and your neighbor are still volleying squirrels back and forth over the fence.

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And of course we all know what the Catholics did. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter. Even so, an occasional squirrel problem is still a squirrel problem.



But the ones you never hear about, the ones who discovered the REAL solution, were the Jews. The Rabbi and his congregation never made much of a fuss about the whole thing, because they just didn’t understand why squirrels were such a big problem. They took one squirrel and had a short service with him that they called a “bris,” or something like that, and they haven’t seen a squirrel on the property since.

http://images.sodahead.com/polls/003520345/583207414_5388464408_c500b091d9_b_xlarge.jpeg

Time to call the Rabbi. Course, he may insist on performing a few more of those short “bris” services on us before he’ll deal with the squirrels, but you gotta consider that the pain may be worth the gain.
 
Nan_S said:
I have your answer! I have your answer!

Time to call the Rabbi. Course, he may insist on performing a few more of those short “bris” services on us before he’ll deal with the squirrels, but you gotta consider that the pain may be worth the gain.
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Woaw, not so fast Nan. I Googled this “bris” thing and I’m not giving up any parts for a rodent. Especially the parts that the Rabbi is talking about. :eek: BTW, I didn’t notice a similar service for a female…Nan. You know, a “bris-ette” :rolleyes:
So does that mean that we all have to convert???
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Well, when I first thought “bris” was one of those fancy pieces of toast with tomato and some other french stuff on it, the idea wasn’t half bad. BUT after finding out what they were really after, converting is strictly out of the question. 😊
 
We don’t have many squirrels here but at our previous post we had tons of them. Having five sons and two Tomboys, all obsessed with army warfare (thanks to my husband’s multiple deployments) and living in onpost housing with multiple other Army rugrats in the neighborhood, all the kids would would make their battle plans while riding home on the school bus. The older kids build elaborate “acorn cannons” and the younger kids had sling shots. They would meet at one of the many playgrounds after homework was completed. Boys and girls alike were both on the frontlines firing at the enemy. Eventually the war evolved to include homemade bows and arrows, swords, shields, spears–yes, they went back in time with their weapons. Water pistols and super soakers were some of the favorite weapons, but when they were used friendly fire casualties increased dramatically! I believe it became a new game at that point but the kids all insist it was still a war on the squirrels.

As time went by the MP’s heard about the war in our neighborhood and tried to put a stop to it. The housing authority did not mind the war. The squirrels were causing damage to the already ****** post housing. The kids enlisted the “housing nazis” as lookouts. The men who rode around on their little golf carts ready at a moments notice to ticket us for litter,improperly put away trash cans, having the wrong blinds,etc. became allies to the soldiers in the Great Squirrel War. As the housing nazis were making their rounds, they would swing by to alert the kids when MP’s were approaching. They would reward the kids with candy and gum, and best of all, the citations in our housing area ceased. 👍
 
7armyrugrats said:
. As time went by the MP’s heard about the war in our neighborhood and tried to put a stop to it. The housing authority did not mind the war. The squirrels were causing damage to the already ****** post housing. The kids enlisted the “housing nazis” as lookouts. The men who rode around on their little golf carts ready at a moments notice to ticket us for litter,improperly put away trash cans, having the wrong blinds,etc. became allies to the soldiers in the Great Squirrel War. As the housing nazis were making their rounds, they would swing by to alert the kids when MP’s were approaching. They would reward the kids with candy and gum, and best of all, the citations in our housing area ceased. 👍
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And people say nothing good ever comes from war…:knight1::knight2:
 
Originally posted by Nan S: I have your answer! I have your answer!
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Wow Nan, you’ve put a lot of thought and effort into this post…not that I think for a minute that you may have too much time on your hands :flowers:
 
shipwrkd said:
Wow Nan, you’ve put a lot of thought and effort into this post…not that I think for a minute that you may have too much time on your hands :flowers:
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Thank you, thank you. It just sort of fell together, like it was all preordained, yaknowwhatimean. You might want to reconsider calling the Rabbi, especially if your parents made the Bris decision for you when you were still a babe.

Now the Catholic parish where I worship has tall trees and no squirrels (see previous posts about the large baptismal font and the Super Soaker water guns). But I’m currently working at an Episcopal church and school with beautiful grounds, lots of huge trees draped with Spanish moss, and (yes, they’re here) more squirrels than anyone can count. I do enjoy glancing out the window to see them play, yet I’m glad I’m not the parishoner who has to pony up for the exterminator and repairs. I noticed on my church tour that, as lovely as the sanctuary is, the Episcopals only have a small baptismal font, too small to charge up the Super Soakers. Obviously they need to reconsider their priorities.
 
Nan_S said:
Thank you, thank you. It just sort of fell together, like it was all preordained, yaknowwhatimean. You might want to reconsider calling the Rabbi, especially if your parents made the Bris decision for you when you were still a babe.

Now the Catholic parish where I worship has tall trees and no squirrels (see previous posts about the large baptismal font and the Super Soaker water guns). But I’m currently working at an Episcopal church and school with beautiful grounds, lots of huge trees draped with Spanish moss, and (yes, they’re here) more squirrels than anyone can count. I do enjoy glancing out the window to see them play, yet I’m glad I’m not the parishoner who has to pony up for the exterminator and repairs. I noticed on my church tour that, as lovely as the sanctuary is, the Episcopals only have a small baptismal font, too small to charge up the Super Soakers. Obviously they need to reconsider their priorities.
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Thank you, but no thank you, I still have my bris…ifyaknowwhatimean 😉
 
So today, about noon, I told the Episcopal church pastor and the associate pastor about how the Jewish synagogue dealt with their squirrels…

… and I didn’t see another squirrel all day.

Funny. They’ve been playing outside my office window all week, and were racing back and forth on the patio cover this morning. But this afternoon, and this evening…

… nothing. Not even outside the other offices, nor in the parking lot trees.

Maybe it’s the weather. Yea, that’s it. It rained yesterday, and today’s high was only in the 70s. Couldn’t possibly be the suggestion that the pastor call the Rabbi.
 
Nan_S said:
So today, about noon, I told the Episcopal church pastor and the associate pastor about how the Jewish synagogue dealt with their squirrels…

… and I didn’t see another squirrel all day.

Funny. They’ve been playing outside my office window all week, and were racing back and forth on the patio cover this morning. But this afternoon, and this evening…

… nothing. Not even outside the other offices, nor in the parking lot trees.

Maybe it’s the weather. Yea, that’s it. It rained yesterday, and today’s high was only in the 70s. Couldn’t possibly be the suggestion that the pastor call the Rabbi.
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You may have hit the nail on the head. The little rats learn fast because I can’t seem to open the sliding door for a shot without them scurrying away no matter how quiet I am. I gotta believe this “bris” thing terrifies them more then the thought of a pellet…it does me :eek:
 
over the summer the little pests had quite a bit of fun undo-ing all our garden work. For whatever reason, they seem to love to dig up Canna bulbs. We must have planted 20 or 25 bulbs, and we would come back to the house to find each bulb dug up, with the sprout chewed off, laid neatly beside each hole. Not taken away, not bitten in to, just dug up and set aside… :mad:

In any case, the trick to these pests is chicken wire…anywhere you don’t want them digging or chewing, put chicken wire down and they won’t go there.
 
wynnejj said:
Yeah, you know how concerned skwerls are about protecting their nuts.
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I guess in some respect we’re not all that different.
In any case, the trick to these pests is chicken wire…anywhere you don’t want them digging or chewing, put chicken wire down and they won’t go there.
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Oh?
 
shipwrkd said:
Thought I could sneak that one by ya but now I get the idea.
My only question would be how to get all the pesky rodents in there. 😛
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The point isn’t to try catching them with it, the point is that if you have an area of ground you want to protect, put a layer of chicken wire over it and then loosely sprinkle dirt on the area and stamp it all down. Before long the wire is invisible, with a thin layer of dirt on top of it, and squerlz, if they try to dig, will get their paws messed up.
 
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