At what age will the sexual urge start to diminish?

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I’m currently able to do things such as travel, nightlife activities such as plays and concerts, buying books all the time, a nice car, etc primarily because I don’t have to worry about money for a wife/family. Now, I don’t want to sound like a caveman of sorts, but to me the logical reason for me to get married would be satisfy my sexual urges and for companionship, and, of course, a family would ensue, so my views would certainly change at that particular bridge when I crossed it. Being sort of an introvert I’ve learned to cope with not having companionship most of the time. And from my experience with masturbation, something which I’m trying to correct, sexual urge is so fleeting that I wonder if it is something I should even give much weight. This brings me to the original question in the title of the thread: when will sexual urge start not to become a major part in his or hers life?
 
Lava58 said:
I’m currently able to do things such as travel, nightlife activities such as plays and concerts, buying books all the time, a nice car, etc primarily because I don’t have to worry about money for a wife/family. Now, I don’t want to sound like a caveman of sorts, but to me the logical reason for me to get married would be satisfy my sexual urges and for companionship, and, of course, a family would ensue, so my views would certainly change at that particular bridge when I crossed it. Being sort of an introvert I’ve learned to cope with not having companionship most of the time. And from my experience with masturbation, something which I’m trying to correct, sexual urge is so fleeting that I wonder if it is something I should even give much weight. This brings me to the original question in the title of the thread: when will sexual urge start not to become a major part in his or hers life?
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Sexual urges in general start not to become a major part in a marriage at various times: during sickness and *at times *during pregnancy. Sometimes people are just plain tired and stressed from the cares of life that the companionship becomes the focal point—knowing someone is there that is “on your side”. Everybody has varying degrees of sex drive so this is really a relative question.
 
As far as whether you should “put much weight” on sex when considering a marriage partner, I would say it is better to marry someone you* basically *like and who likes you—sexual urge IS fleeting, and it it doens’t bring your coffee in the morning:D, or put up with your quirks, or compromise on marital issues.

I am not saying that you shouldn’t care to find them attractive, but just that it should not dominate your reason for picking a mate.
 
you don,t give your age, and the fact you have to ask for this advice this way means to me you may have a problem,take your time in trying to find miss right,otherwise you may be left (On the outer)
 
Well, I’ve heard of couples in their 80’s having, um, intercourse of the sexuall sort, so I guess that means we’re just gonna have to wait till we’re planted.

Honestly, most posters seemed more intrested in “curing” your introvertedness than giving you a year/phase/whatever.

Then again, given all the libido enhancer bull ahem out there, I’d imagine that being active at 80 is far from the norm, and therefore, perhaps we’ll get lucky!👍

Just pray for it to go away, eh? Why turn to your fellow man when you’ve got yourself a GOD
 
To keep the answer to your question short and simple, the sexual urge usually starts to die away about 4 hours after death.😛
 
ya i heard it was the day after you die too. 😛

it should definitely not be a consideration when marrying, or when discerning your vocation. everyone should properly discern their vocation, whether it be religious life or marriage. you need to decide which one it is first, then you pursue it.

you can start by attending an engagement encounter, which is usually open to singles. you learn a lot about what a marriage really consists of. if you are serious about your future, you’ll learn as much as you can about the possibilities, instead of jumping into it prematurely which is what most catholic couples/singles do nowadays. the divorce and vocation rates are of no surprise…
 
According to my Mom, who is 90 years old, it is cyclical. When all the kids left the house, apparently my folks went a bit crazy for each other again. And when they hit their 80s, she claimed they couldn’t get enough of each other.

Now that my Dad has passed on, she says she misses him terribly, but she also misses the sex terribly.

And yes, for those wondering, all this was ENTIRELY too much information at the time… I much prefer to think they only made love 3 times and got us 3 children…

All that said, it is striking that the original poster doesn’t seem to have much understanding of what a marriage is all about. Perhaps from a broken or disfunctional home? Definitely time to look into the sacrament of marriage and what its all about before falling in love accidentally and ending in a disaster of a marriage.

sojo
 
I may have missed it in his original post, but I don’t recall him mentioning marriage at all. He seems to the sort of guy (assuming he is a guy) that would much rather wear a camel hair shirt and live in a cave away from civilization and its vices. A kindred spirit of sorts.😉

Still, I don’t think he was factoring in sex into marriage as he was annoyed by the urges, and praying for them to stop. Perhaps he should persue the path of the martyr, as the consensus is that they wont stop till you’re dead. Might aswell die for God, eh?

I hear missonary work in the middle east is particuarily deadly.

Whoops! There it is! I don’t know, but…I don’t like him anymore.

Satisfy your urges? You…HEDONIST! The thought of you, you base born beast! Defiling one of my sisters! All for your CURSED URGES OF THE FLESH!!!

Take the Lord litteraly, if it makes you sin, cut it off. That should make your sinful urges stop.

Animal.

Now I see why they tried to help him! Now I see they took pity on him, saw him as lost and wounded.

And I see where I went wrong…Wretched me, no better than he…

Alright, pitiable soul, well, heck, everyone else has pretty darn well covered it. Marriage ain’t about sex. AT ALL. phew You flustered me. Umm, look, you can’t get to heaven just satisfying what your body wants, okay? You have to live in the spirit, not the flesh, and yeah, I’m sure the spirit really wants to, but your flesh, your body, well, its sinful and has gotta go. But dont worry! That’ll happen in a couple years.

Now, have you taken your plight before the Lord? Or better yet (in the sense that God has better things to do, and isn’t worth bugging on trivial personal matters), have you asked your mother/father/priest about it? They might know something about it.

I reckon even a bad marriage would figure out what it’s not about after a while.

I could see marriage for money (the most vile thing on the earth) before marriage for sex, the most vile pervesion of any of God’s creations.

At the same time, I feel for you, Why of all His commands, was “go forth an multiply” the one He chose to make easy? Why not something we don’t like doing, say, “love thy enemy”?
 
Lava58 said:
I’m currently able to do things such as travel, nightlife activities such as plays and concerts, buying books all the time, a nice car, etc primarily because I don’t have to worry about money for a wife/family. Now, I don’t want to sound like a caveman of sorts, but to me the logical reason for me to get married would be satisfy my sexual urges and for companionship, and, of course, a family would ensue, so my views would certainly change at that particular bridge when I crossed it. Being sort of an introvert I’ve learned to cope with not having companionship most of the time. And from my experience with masturbation, something which I’m trying to correct, sexual urge is so fleeting that I wonder if it is something I should even give much weight. This brings me to the original question in the title of the thread: when will sexual urge start not to become a major part in his or hers life?
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I am 52 and my DW is 68. We have been married over 14 years.
I desire her as much now as I did the day we were married. She still thinks I’m purty cute too…
So I guess I’ll have to get back to you.😃 :whacky: :love:

I’m sorry if the above sounds flip. Just couldn’t help myself, but the point is valid. In a healthy male the sexual urge can remain strong for many many years. I can’t speak to the female aspect.

James
 
Fergal said:
To keep the answer to your question short and simple, the sexual urge usually starts to die away about 4 hours after death.😛
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I bet you are correct.:eek:
Turns out, even beheaded rattlesnakes can be dangerous. That’s what 53-year-old Danny Anderson learned Monday night, when a 5-foot rattler slithered onto his Central Washington property, about 50 miles southeast of Yakima.
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Anderson and his 27-year-old son, Benjamin, pinned the snake with an irrigation pipe and cut off its head with a shovel. A few more strikes to the head left it sitting under a pickup truck.
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“When I reached down to pick up the head, it raised around and did a backflip almost, and bit my finger,” Anderson said. “I had to shake my hand real hard to get it to let loose.”
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seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2003829929_dige10m.html
 
Lava58 said:
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Now, I don't want to sound like a caveman of sorts, but to me the logical reason for me to get married would be satisfy my sexual urges and for companionship, and, of course, a family would ensue, so my views would certainly change at that particular bridge when I crossed it.
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Satisfying sexual urges is no reason to get married. For one, getting married doesn’t guarantee that you will have sex. You don’t know the future, either one of you could end up with an illness, or an accident, where sex is no longer possible. My father became paralyzed from the waist down, at age 43. He and my mother remained married(63 years) to this day.

The main reason for marriage, is love. You desire to spend the rest of your life with the person, because you love them so much, you can’t see yourself living life without them.

Also, children are no guarantee in marriage, but if you do have a family, its the greatest gift God gives us, especially when the grandchildren come.

Some people, like me, are made for marriage,…others are not.

Marriage is a sacrifice of yourself, no two ways about it. You have to have the sort of character that is conducive for it.

Jim
 
To actually answers the OPs question.

Sex drive varies widely. Some never have it. For others, they always have it.

For most men…During his 40’s, a mans testoterone levels begin a steady decline. With that decline, the sexual urge declines. It’s not like throwing a lightswitch.
Let me use this metaphor. A roller coaster begins with the cars being hauled to their highest point. This is a males teen years. At about age 18, the roller coaster ride begins. Over the rest of the ride(your life), the cars travel up and down and around curves but the general direction is a downward spiral.
 
Then there’s the joke about the newly ordained priest asking this question of the 85-year-old retired priest. His answer - “I’ll let you know.”

Betsy
 
48

It also depends on one’s state of mind. Depression can make it go away.
 
I cant say when sexual urges will go away. At one time I wanted them to go away too. Now that I am older I would be afraid to loose them. Sometines in trying to live for God in being pure we forget that it was God who gave us those sexual urges. Perhaps it would be far better to thank Him for those sexual desires and appreciate them for what they are. I am not talking about gratifying the flesh here but thanking Him for making us this way and surrendering ourselves to Him with thease sexual desires and letting Him channel them in the direction that honers Him

In marriage it is important.
If we were to obey God,s word in what it says about sex we would find it to be far better then what the world could ever tell us. If love is not there then it is no more then a physical act that is hollow .

Paul said that it is better to marry then to burn.
 
So the sexual tension is just as strong in your early twenties than 40s or 50s? Right now I seem to be managing somewhat okay, so really this is as bad as it gets? Oddly enough, most of this tension solely comes from media, so I really shouldn’t be complaining for the remedy.

Realistically, my chances of ever marrying someone is moot in the Catholic tradition. Everyone my age is either not interested in a Catholic life, already with kids, or entirely out of my social class(the ones most likely to to hold onto a Catholic chaste lifestyle). Knowing this, my original topic is sort of stupid, as such an opportunity never even presented itself, dating a Catholic woman.
 
There was a missionary who had converted an indian to the faith. One day he saw his friend and asked the indian How are you doing John?
John replied not very well today. The missionary said why whats the matter? John replied that there were two dogs in him fighting. His missionary friend said well which one is winning. John replied the one that I feed the most.

God sees your heart Lava 58 and you can believe that he has someone just for you. Trust Him and enjoy the time that you are single I would urge you during this time to make the most of your time spending it with the Lord enjoying Him for just Himself. When you live alone it is esier to devote oneself to The Lord more fully. When you are married you have to pay attention to her as well. This is good also and together you can grow in love in the Lord and in each other as well. God is your source. He will supply all your needs he will not forget you.
 
sojo said:
According to my Mom, who is 90 years old, it is cyclical. When all the kids left the house, apparently my folks went a bit crazy for each other again. And when they hit their 80s, she claimed they couldn’t get enough of each other.
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    :D :)
Now that my Dad has passed on, she says she misses him terribly, but she also misses the sex terribly.
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:clapping:

I love your mother’s honesty! 🙂 She seems to have a VERY healthy appreciation of (marital) sex. Some people are so Prudish about the whole subject… Your mother is really unusual for someone from “the old school”. 😃
Also, it is very touching how apparently devoted to each other & in love your parents were. My parents are still married after many years and many children, but sometimes they act like they don’t like each other… Of course, that’s just sometimes… and i am not around much anymore to see if they’ve changed or whatever.

Anyway, thanks you so much for your Post. It inspired me and warmed my heart. 🙂
 
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