Atheism seems more plausible. What else can I do to grow in certainty or find reasons to believe?

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You misread: I was saying “blessed” was not defined, i.e. “You’re miserable? Good, because you’re blessed!”
Sorry for misunderstanding. Any and all suffering here on earth can be joined, in a spiritual manner, to the suffering of Christ in His passion and death. This joining gives us fellowship with Christ in His Resurrection, it is a spiritual blessing that brings us closer to our Lord and to the Father.
I am in Japan where about 0.5% of the population is catholic Christian. The people in religious orders are too remote, too busy, or too poor at English to talk with me.
I see.
 
there are some things we can know for certain.

for example, being is infinite and being is eternal (without beginning or end).

whatever else atheists might posit, denying these self-evident facts are not two of them.

since we humans can recognize and understand the truth of the above two facts, it is not UNREASONABLE to draw from them that being is also rational and ordered.

infinite, eternal, rational and ordered, these are attributes of who believers refer to as God.

but, as I said before, rather than to waste time letting atheists attempt to discourage and confuse others on the subject of God and His existence, when an atheist attempts this it is better to ask what they have to substitute for your beliefs and what evidence do they have for their imagined substitution.

I am pretty certain that taking this approach will leave most atheists without a response and wondering about their certitude that Supreme Being is imaginary.
 
…it appears to me that I am believing in spite of the evidence, rather than because of the evidence
Faith is a choice, not a conclusion.

Faith is forward looking, not backward looking.

I see faith as a decision about what I want to be, and where I want to go…not about where I have been or what evidence I’ve been able to gather.

If it were otherwise, if faith were merely a conclusion that necessarily resulted from a stack of incontrovertible evidence, then faith would be within the realm of science…faith would be theory of physics, not a metaphysical act of the will.

You can have faith with your doubts. The two are not incompatible. The question is, will you seek to deal with your doubts inside the Church, or outside of the Church. Which do you think is more likely to lead to faith? Make your choice, and then live according to your choice. You are a creature of will. Jesus calls on us to love, and to give the assent of our will to the authority of the Church established by Christ. Those are acts of the will. This is why the Catholic faith is accessible to the weak minded as well as the superintelligent, those who think little about theology and those who devote their lives to theology. Faith allows research, but it does not require research. It requires assent of the will. Christ does not call us to perform tests, or for all 7 billion of us to independently verify the facts of his life. He calls on us to love one another. Do you want to live a life like that? Then you can be a good Catholic, in spite of your doubts.
…It seems to me impossible to know Christianity is true without private revelation or experiencing a miracle. Knowledge it seems to me is true, justified belief with practical certainty, and although my beliefs in the Church – as demonstrated through my actions – may be true, I lack this certainty, and it seems to me only the aforementioned occasions or a deficit in intellect can supply it.
Faith is not knowledge. Faith is choice.

I don’t mean to downplay the search for theological knowledge. That is noble. And, I admit that it took me a long time to get where I am… to the point where I stopped being a slave to bonds of conclusions drawn from happenstance and reality, and asserted my independent will, by freely giving assent of that will to the authority of the Church.
…history makes me think I must not rely on God for any material blessing in this life
I don’t expect good things or bad things. I don’t rely on God for any material blessing. I rely on God for the mental strength to deal with whatever material outcome I find myself in. If I do pray for material blessings, I usually feel compelled to add, “but your will be done.” If I pray for the mental fortitude to deal with whatever reality visits me, I don’t feel compelled to add that qualifier.
 
The very last passage in the Gospel of John (John 20:26-29):
After eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them.

Jesus came, the doors having been shut, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.”

Then He said to Thomas, “Reach here with your finger, and see My hands; and reach here your hand and put it into My side; and do not be unbelieving, but believing.”

Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!”

Jesus said to him, “Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed.”
Consider praying to St. Thomas. He had the benefit of evidence. You have the opportunity of choice. Blessed are those who did not have sufficient evidence, and yet chose to believe.

Peace be with you.
 
By the way, even believers experience “spiritual dryness” as I’ve heard it called by some. Even Mother Theresa experienced this, I’m told.

Believers don’t necessarily experience God on a daily basis.

For whatever reason, God does require us to seek him out a bit…He requires us to choose our faith on a daily basis. It is in embracing the constant choice, whatever the consequences (“but your will be done”) that we often start experiencing God when we otherwise would have seen mere amusing coincidence or happenstance. Even happenstance can move us closer to God, if we are in the right state of mind. But being in that state of mind requires practice (and by that, I mean prayer and prayerful contemplation).

If atheism is correct, then there is nothing wrong with seeking the embrace of Catholic comfort, which helps you deal with your reality. Put another way, if there is no God, then there is no one to judge you to be incorrect to choose to live your life in a way that gives you the most comfort. I don’t mention this as a primary reason to believe. I mention it to nullify any condemnation you may perceive from an agnostic/atheistic viewpoint. Once you choose faith, you can disregard such apparent condemnations of
“logic.” Logic does not really condemn, after all, and logic in the absence of God dictates that you live your life the best you can. Belief can be justified in that way.

You are a physicist? Think of a graph of your happiness. Magnitude of happiness on the Y-axis; time, from birth at 0 and death on the right along the X-axis. Is the goal to get the happiness curve as high as possible? To peak? Not really. The goal is maximize the integral of the curve, to maximize the area under the curve. Correct? If there is one thing that I think I know it is this: If I live my life in a truly Catholic way (by choice), from beginning to end, my happiness curve will be maximized. Bad things that happen to me may lower the curve at times, but not as much as it would without my faith. Over the long haul, faith leads to the maximum area under that curve.
 
While I appreciate your intelligent questioning of the presence of God, who or what else could keep the Universe in existence? You have said “we don’t know” and I claim God is the Author of the Universe. We both operate on faith even though we both lack hard proof.
This is what I have a hard time understanding. My claim is that since we don’t know the origin of the universe, “I don’t know” is the appropriate answer. A “believer,” on the other hand, attempts to fill in the blanks with (I don’t mean this to be disrespectful but I can’t think of another way to say it) feel-good myths, legends, and fairy tales from an ancient text.

Please note…I am not arguing against God. I merely saying that the fact that we can’t explain where we and all our stuff came from is not proof of God’s existence.
 
This is what I have a hard time understanding. My claim is that since we don’t know the origin of the universe, “I don’t know” is the appropriate answer. A “believer,” on the other hand, attempts to fill in the blanks with (I don’t mean this to be disrespectful but I can’t think of another way to say it) feel-good myths, legends, and fairy tales from an ancient text.

Please note…I am not arguing against God. I merely saying that the fact that we can’t explain where we and all our stuff came from is not proof of God’s existence.
No offense taken. I appreciate your respectful opinion. 🙂

Your use of “feel-good myths, legends, and fairy tales” can also be applied to science papers and books from just last century. We used to believe a lot of erroneous science that was eventually disproven as we tested the theories and found new ways to challenge established “truths”. Science continues to do so today and the point is all this new understanding does not affect the truth of the subject. Just because we understand quantum physics better today than say 50 years ago does not change the nature of the universe. The universe is unaffected by our understanding and continues regardless if we attempt to understand it any more or less.

Same as God.

The Bible is a collection of oral tradition and writing put together by many human authors but all inspired by One God over a period of 1,500 years. If there’s any error in the Bible, it’s because of human error not because God made an error. The Bible is unique in that we can discern (which requires prayer and belief) the fingerprint of God in all that’s around us, in our souls, in our thoughts, and in other people.

Those who choose to see only a ball of hot gases in constant nuclear fusion as “the sun” miss most of what God intended us to “see.” He wants us to see the grandeur and beauty of His creation; God didn’t create the universe so He could randomly look at it like we do an aquarium. God created the universe for us to enjoy and so gave us physical senses to witness His creation. But He also gave us an intellect and a soul so we can ponder how His creation works and what is the meaning of a flower that blooms at night only to die with the morning sun.

As an honest Christian, I have to admit I will never “know” God but I also have to believe I know He exists and that we are beloved by Him. I hope you find the peace of this “confusion” one day! It’s changed my life for the infinite better and I hope it will change your’s as well. 👍
 
I was led to think that we included in the category of ‘unsound’ any valid arguments whose premises were of unknown truth value – that we only call “sound” any argument that is valid whose premises are known to be true. Thus any argument that isn’t in this category is unsound (and possibly invalid as well).
Hmm… I’m not certain that this is the proper conclusion. By this standard, every assertion in metaphysics and spirituality – including the atheists’ argument that “God does not exist” – must be rejected. That doesn’t sound quite right…
What of Ockham’s Razor, then? One theory that explains everything without postulating an additional being is to be preferred, no?
Not quite. Occam’s Razor only suggests that, for two theories with equal predictive power, the one with fewer assumptions is preferred. It doesn’t suggest that the one with fewer assumptions is better; just that, between these equal theories, one is ‘preferred.’ So, you’re left with a couple of problems: first, you need to show that the materialist’s theory has fewer assumptions. Second (and most problematic), you need to demonstrate that its predictive power is not inferior to the theist’s…
No, I was talking there about plausibility of a theory, not existence of a being; and I was talking about my personal experience, an observation, not a sentiment.
Hmm. You said, “the absence of God I feel then tips the scale in favor of atheism.” Did you not mean that you feel the absence of God – that is, that your lack of a feeling of God’s existence is what decides the argument for you? Perhaps I’m misreading you…?
Please be careful to regard what I actually said. I said practical certainty, not absolute certainty. (Edit: Sorry, in case it is unclear, I mean certainty that enables practice i.e. action, like the way that a stone floor enables us to walk whereas quicksand doesn’t. I don’t mean “practically certain” as in “99.9% convinced it’s an irrefutable fact”.) Science has that practical certainty, hence we have a basis for experimentation – a confidence, if you will, that when we drop something from the Tower of Pisa to measure gravity, we expect it to fall down rather than up.
OK; fair enough. However, you’re still making claims that are, by their very definition, logically impossible to refute (and therefore, are making unreasonable claims). If “practical certainty” is engaged only in ‘experimentation’ – and therefore, in empirical evidence – then “practical certainty” cannot address questions of metaphysics and of spiritual beings (like God). Therefore, your “practical certainty” is of no use in the present discussion, and cannot be brought to bear in order to prove or disprove any assertion.
In a way it is ironic, because – sharing my philosophy of science briefly – science does not even generate truth claims. I wonder if it has practical certainty precisely because it doesn’t make absolute truth claims.
Hmm…

Would it be unfair, then, to extrapolate? That is, your notion about truth claims w.r.t. science implies, then, that materialists’ theories about God cannot generate truth claims. Therefore, they cannot – as you had claimed – stand up to your definition of ‘sound’ and ‘unsound’ arguments, nor can they be used in an “Occam’s Razor” discussion (since, by definition, they have no predictive value… practically speaking)… :hmmm:
Indeed, but again, going back to practical certainty, when there is no police officer in sight, many Americans drive above the speed limit.
I would assert that this has less to do with “practical certainty” than it does with raw belief. An American who sees no police car has no certainty that there is no police presence… just a belief that they may not be, and therefore, he acts according to his faith…!
Would you please elaborate on this theory, especially your last statement?
Sure. In each of Jesus’ miracles – especially in the Gospel of John – we see that they are signs. Their purpose was to reveal Jesus as the Son of God. (In fact, as we read through the Gospels, we see that Jesus often told the person He healed not to tell anyone about it. In other words, its value as a sign was oriented towards its retelling following Jesus’ death and resurrection – that is, during the time of the Church and its evangelization of the nations.

Jesus himself talked about the value of His signs. At times, He refused to perform healings to those who asked for signs. He did not heal all whom he encountered – read John 5, and note that, of all those at the pool, He healed only one.

So, if He did not heal every physical infirmity, then we cannot proceed on the assertion that His ministry was healing for healing’s sake; we have to find another reason for these healings. I’m asserting that they served a higher purpose in the context of His ministry. Therefore, we cannot look at the fact of the existence of healings in Scripture and thereby presume that He will heal each of our physical ills. Even Paul complains that he had been given a physical ‘thorn’ and it was his role to bear it faithfully, if not stoically.
 
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ethereality:
Why should I read the Bible on my own if I am not able to discern – and if the Holy Spirit does not tell me – which parts God intends for me personally, and which parts God intends to be for the historical record?
This a huge question – and one that is highly relevant to every Christian. Reformation Christians assert that they receive inspiration individually; Catholics believe that this gift of interpretation is given to the Church, rather than to each Christian. Perhaps it would be worthwhile to pick up this question in a separate thread. Briefly, though, perhaps it would suffice to suggest that you should read the Bible on your own in order to encounter God; and that you should consult the Church and her interpretation of the Bible in order to come to a more full understanding of the implications of the texts you’ve read.
That leads me to another question: How is your interpretation of these passages, “That was only for the Apostles and those healed”, useful?
Umm… that wasn’t what I said. The healings Jesus performed are for all of us – just not as an indication that we will all be healed physically. (Or am I misunderstanding what you’re asking?)
It seems rather to render it inconsequential and obsolete, like much of the Old Testament or St. Paul teaching about fashion (regarding veils and length of hair).
A couple of observations: first, “much of the OT” is not “inconsequential and obsolete”! It tells of a lot about how God works with us – not piling a bunch of theology on us that we can’t handle, but rather, working with us over time, slowly and patiently. It points us in the direction of Jesus, showing us what our human needs are – and how we fail to love God, if we resort to our human solutions – and how our needs will be met by our Savior.

Second, the fact that Scriptural healings don’t imply the assurance of contemporary personal healing doesn’t render them ‘inconsequential’! OK – maybe irrelevant to the question “will I be personally healed?”, but not inconsequential to God’s self-revelation and our understanding of Him and His plan for us!
 
filling the world with maybe’s, what ifs and who knows would not be my idea of proving God does not exist.

just ask the atheists to PROVE God does not exist and then wait for their proofs. I will tip you off, the atheists have no proof God does not exist and they know they have no proof.
No it is YOUR job to prove He does exist:rolleyes:
If something is true, it has to be proven, not un-proven 🙂
If I use your logic, than I can believe in Flying Pizza Goddess and you have no way to “prove” she doesn’t exist 🙂

To put the burden of proof on atheists is just ridiculous and against rules of logic and science.
If you think that the formula for x is pm/yz, than YOU have to prove it either experimentally or theoretically in such a way there is almost no possibility of a mistake.
You cannot just write an article claiming "x is p
m/yz" and if you dont believe, prove to me its wrong!
I myself do believe in God, but I would never expect atheists to prove He doesnt exist.
 
do you find hints of doubt in materialism that prove God is not just a better answer but the ONLY answer.
Setting aside the fact that hints don’t prove something – they only hint at it – no, I don’t see any such hints coming from materialism. There are hints that Christianity is true, but not enough to persuade most Japanese, apparently. (or, for that matter, much Western Europe and America)
i suggest that instead of trying to find absolute proof for the existence of God, if you do not find the Resurrection of Jesus to be proof enough, you concentrate on proving what the atheists teach and believe. the atheists’ teaching and belief is, of course, the concept that God does not exist.

what kind of proof have you discovered that proves that God does not exist?
I can’t prove either one. That’s why I’m agnostic. You seem not to be following my posts. I cannot “prove” that atheism is true any more than I can “prove” that theism is true. I can point out problems with theistic proofs that give me pause.
I would be interested in learning what it is that makes atheism so believable, what proofs, to use your words.
I think I said evidence for atheism, not proofs.
I have never heard an atheist provide evidence of any kind that God does not exist. you apparently have heard or read such evidence.
Evidence includes pain and suffering that is inexplicable under Christianity – for example, why there are so many unanswered prayers, e.g. why Jesus doesn’t heal pious people who receive the Eucharist. Atheism clearly explains these observations; Christians can only assume there’s a good explanation that they don’t know (as far as I’ve seen, which perhaps isn’t very far).
Really?

I thought materialism/determinism was becoming increasingly unsustainable as a worldview with each and every new quantum discovery and theory. Stephen Hawking famously capitulated and despaired of humans ever realising a grand Unified Theory of Everything

According to renowned physicist George Ellis, we are rapidly approaching the ‘dead-end’ point at which it will be impossible for us to know ‘more’ about physics unless and until we transcend the laws of physics - which as far as humans are concerned is impossible. In other words, there is so much we don’t know - so many gaps - and we simply lack the tools to discover the answers.

Many (atheist) scientists are realising this and effectively conceding that on many big… “meaning of life” questions, the supposed underpinning materialism in question is untestable in a scientific sense. Theoretical physicist Sean Carroll recently declared that if theory is “sufficiently elegant” and explanatory, it need not be tested experimentally.

Can you imagine if a biblical theist said the God Conclusion is so sufficiently elegant that it need not be tested experimentally? :eek:
I’m guessing that ‘Really?’ was rhetorical. I think it comes as no surprise that many famous scientists are amateur philosophers. I’m thinking most necessarily will be, since to become a great scientist today means to focus on your specialty to the exclusion of much of the world, putting long hours into only that one scientific topic.

I’ve already elucidated my philosophy of science: Science does not give us truth statements; science only gives us models replicating our observations for purposes of predicting a reliable universe. They do not tell us how the universe actually is: They only tell us what we have observed and what we will observe (based on what we’ve observed) if the universe continues being reliable. That it has been reliable strikes me as a hint that Christianity is correct, but this is an assumption: I see no reason it couldn’t be a brute fact* of an impersonal universe to be reliable, and given my suffering, this seems to me more plausible than an omnipotent being who won’t heal me for my own good. (*Put another way, I see no reason why everything “must” have an explanation.)
Are you close to a US military base? …] see if you can attend a military base chapel.
No, but thanks for the anecdote.
 
Who created the incredibly complex Universe? Did it just happen?
You might as well ask, “Who created God?” You are assuming that the universe was created in the same way this question assumes that God was created. It appears to me that we don’t know that the universe is finite in time, despite what Catholic Answers claims.
How did life begin? Again, just chance?
I don’t know how life on earth began, but again, you would be assuming what you are seeking to prove by answering God to this question.
How do miracles occur? What is the source?
Unless you have experienced a miracle, you are assuming that miracles occur – or, you are assuming the reports you have read are both reliable and correct. I have never been able to verify a miraculous event occurring as reported. A few cases have been, at best, “Well, that’s intriguing, but it’s too remote! I don’t even know who this author is, or if he’s trustworthy.” I was shocked to find how little Japanese Christians here regard or even know about Our Lady of Akita, casting doubt on this testimony declaring it was a national event, on national news, ‘capturing the attention of the nation’.

Also, some medical cases like remission of cancer may not be miracles – there may be natural mechanisms for some situations. (Of course, you would still be free to declare the healing divine providence, but this is a matter of faith.)
There’s only one answer: God. Otherwise, we have to believe in an incredible amount of coincidences happening sequentially to make all these things happen.
Briefly, the fine-tuning argument is false because it is analysis of our descriptions of the universe, not an analysis of how the universe exists in an absolute sense.
Does your school have a Catholic group or a Newman center?
lol … 0.5% of Japan is catholic Christian,* and you’re asking me if my university has a Newman Center. Yes: Me.
 
Just one more thought. Many a saint has said how God has enlightened them and given them knowledge that would take months if not years to gain from prayer. It seems God does this in a flash and with clearity. It just seems to me that if you went to the blessed Sacrament and just sat there for a while not thinking of anything but his presence to you, that he might just have some insights to all of what is bothering you. Just tell him you need him and love him and depend on him. And he will be gentle with you.
There is no Blessed Sacrament exposed here like in some American churches, but I sat before the Tabernacle in the Sanctuary – i.e., in the first pew – for more than ten minutes. The experience was overall more evidence in favor of atheism: It seemed more absence of God and me talking to myself than God talking to me or the Holy Spirit inspiring me.
 
please for the moment consider the place where human feelings, human emotion,human thought, memory and reason exist. This is a spiritual realm. It is very real by any materialist definition but its forms exist as patterns and subtle changes in chemistry and acts of love and hope and peace and joy and fun and pain and confidence…

That spiritual realm is an entirely different universe than where the materialistic laws apply, but we take for granted its existence but understand very little of its constructs.
This seems simply false, because material circumstances, including drugs – material objects – affect and can even dictate what you are saying is “spiritual”. If the two are linked so closely in this way, how do you distinguish between them? How are you doing more than simply assuming that they exist spiritually?

Going back to my earlier post to 808Catholic, I would cite dreams as more evidence in favor of atheism: No matter how pious I am before bed, my dreams appear random and regardless of any spiritual reality.
God has given you a part in creation, and using your spiritual gifts you can be a part of it. Now if he made himself known to you in the way that you appear to understand the material world, you would no longer be a separate spirit from him, able to make unique contributions to creation.

So the separation you feel from God is a natural outcome of the way he created you. Once you understand that, then you no longer worry that God is so hidden from you because you realize that he must be.
This seems a little beyond me (perhaps you could explain more), but it raises another problem: How can we speak meaningfully of anything other than God if God is, by definition, infinite: without boundary? Phrasing this question the other way 'round (the answer coming to mind in parentheses following): It does not seem meaningful to declare that we are “nothing” (that “we are made of nothing” as Frank Sheed writes) when we are ostensibly something.

More practically speaking, most of my efforts to make the world a better place appear fruitless, and the ones that aren’t appear redundant. As Jesus says, we are “unprofitable servants”, and I don’t see how it’s wise for God to have us do such clumsy work that He could have done better.

Also, you claim that I can make “unique contributions”: Apart from relating to my parents, I don’t see how this is true. Many other people can do everything I can do, and many of them apparently do what I do better. (Hence I am in debt and under-employed, whereas they are out of debt or gainfully employed; I’m sitting alone in a room, they are married, etc.)
But at the same time, God can do anything, and I suggest that you humbly pray for him to show himself to you in a way that you can understand. Be clear about what you seek, but not how he should go about it. His response will surprise you.
This suggestion angers me, because I’m tired of taking people’s advice that doesn’t help – as I just did sitting in the Sanctuary – and, more to the point, I’ve already tried this. The “surprise” I got was the feeling of talking into the air.
 
Setting aside the fact that hints don’t prove something – they only hint at it – no, I don’t see any such hints coming from materialism. There are hints that Christianity is true, but not enough to persuade most Japanese, apparently. (or, for that matter, much Western Europe and America)
Interestingly enough, though the majority of Japan remains “not Christian” there are Christian martyr shrines dotted across the country. Seems Christianity was getting a foothold until the Japanese daimyos (regional war lords) decided Christianity was a threat to the continuation of traditional Japanese culture so banned foreigners and enforced the “no Christians” policy with the threat of death. I was intrigued by a Jehovah Witness evangelist I met while in Japan; she was a native born Japanese woman in her early forties. I asked about why she chose to believe in God and wasn’t Shinto or Buddhist. God works everywhere even when the majority of the culture and political leaders want to keep Him out. 👍
 
…] Why haven’t they “consumed” all the matter yet?

…] You have said “we don’t know” and I claim God is the Author of the Universe. We both operate on faith even though we both lack hard proof.
Addressing this question about current astronomical theory, you’re arguing from a “god of the gaps” perspective: I urge you to instead argue more like a “god of necessity” like Aristotle and Aquinas did; it is far more convincing.

Your astronomical question actually has a simple answer: Black holes do not grow. They have a finite size regardless of time; you can look more into something called the Schwarzschild radius. Suddenly God is not necessary to answer this question – this is a demonstration of why they call it “god of the gaps”. You must stop asking questions that you don’t know the answer to and declare “therefore God”: Not only is it not rational, but it does a disservice to the clever non-Christian insofar as it scandalizes him.
who or what else could keep the Universe in existence?
It appears to me you are assuming that the motion of the universe isn’t a brute fact. It appears to me you are assuming everything must have an explanation: This assumption necessarily implies the God of philosophy (who ‘holds His existence within Himself’) because you must “tie off” this explanatory chain to avoid an infinite regress of explanation.

Also, be careful if you are thinking of the argument from contingency here; two problems I see:
  1. The fact that everything we’ve observed in this universe is contingent does not imply that everything in this universe is contingent.
  2. “Even if everything in this universe is contingent”: If the universe is simply ‘the set of all matter’, it seems possible to me for the universe to not be contingent even if everything within it is contingent: All you need is cause and effect to apply as a brute fact. Think of a tire rolling down a hill: The length of the hill does not matter. As long as you have a cycle of contingent beings that appear one after the other, the cycle can continue indefinitely even though its individual elements pop in and out of being.
To be clear, my goal in this thread is not to be the spokesman for agnosticism or to present a good case for atheism – my goal is to answer my own question: “What else can I do to grow in certainty or find reasons to believe?” Spending time in the Sanctuary, it appeared to me that I’ve tried everything, and that if God does not intervene, the only choice I have left (that isn’t radically selfish) is to try living without the Sacraments, without the Mass and without prayer – I think I’ve tried everything else (apart from throwing away everything and joining the military or a missionary troupe to some malaria/war zone). Facing this choice, though – or either of them – I think I am a coward, emotionally unprepared to face such difficult – or foreign – lifestyles. Moreover, it seems absurd: Surely God does not want me to sin! Why am I being tested so severely, then? Where is my “way out” (1 Cor 10:13)?!

I can only guess that my way out is to stop thinking about myself and my suffering, to stop trying to come up with an explanation for the apparent neglect of God. But my problem is that I cannot “in good conscience” lead others to a Christ that I’m not sure is there. Part of me has been wanting to start a Rosary prayer group on Sundays to help the Body of Christ suffering in the Middle East and elsewhere, but it seems to me irresponsible and foolish to start praying for God to help others for a specific suffering when this god isn’t helping me with my specific suffering; to convince others to devote their time to a god I’m not even sure is there.
 
Addressing this question about current astronomical theory, you’re arguing from a “god of the gaps” perspective: I urge you to instead argue more like a “god of necessity” like Aristotle and Aquinas did; it is far more convincing.

Your astronomical question actually has a simple answer: Black holes do not grow. They have a finite size regardless of time; you can look more into something called the Schwarzschild radius. Suddenly God is not necessary to answer this question – this is a demonstration of why they call it “god of the gaps”. You must stop asking questions that you don’t know the answer to and declare “therefore God”: Not only is it not rational, but it does a disservice to the clever non-Christian insofar as it scandalizes him.

It appears to me you are assuming that the motion of the universe isn’t a brute fact. It appears to me you are assuming everything must have an explanation: This assumption necessarily implies the God of philosophy (who ‘holds His existence within Himself’) because you must “tie off” this explanatory chain to avoid an infinite regress of explanation.

Also, be careful if you are thinking of the argument from contingency here; two problems I see:
  1. The fact that everything we’ve observed in this universe is contingent does not imply that everything in this universe is contingent.
  2. “Even if everything in this universe is contingent”: If the universe is simply ‘the set of all matter’, it seems possible to me for the universe to not be contingent even if everything within it is contingent: All you need is cause and effect to apply as a brute fact. Think of a tire rolling down a hill: The length of the hill does not matter. As long as you have a cycle of contingent beings that appear one after the other, the cycle can continue indefinitely even though its individual elements pop in and out of being.
To be clear, my goal in this thread is not to be the spokesman for agnosticism or to present a good case for atheism – my goal is to answer my own question: “What else can I do to grow in certainty or find reasons to believe?” Spending time in the Sanctuary, it appeared to me that I’ve tried everything, and that if God does not intervene, the only choice I have left (that isn’t radically selfish) is to try living without Sunday Mass and without prayer – I think I’ve tried everything else (apart from throwing away everything and joining the military or a missionary troupe to some malaria/war zone). Facing this choice, though – or either of them – I think I am a coward, emotionally unprepared to face such difficult – or foreign – lifestyles. Moreover, it seems absurd: Surely God does not want me to sin! Why am I being tested so severely, then? Where is my “way out” (1 Cor 10:13)?!

I can only guess that my way out is to stop thinking about myself and my suffering, to stop trying to come up with an explanation for the apparent neglect of God. But my problem is that I cannot “in good conscience” lead others to a Christ that I’m not sure is there. Part of me has been wanting to start a Rosary prayer group on Sundays to help the Body of Christ suffering in the Middle East and elsewhere, but it seems to me irresponsible and foolish to start praying for God to help others for a specific suffering when this god isn’t helping me with my specific suffering; to convince others to devote their time for a god I’m not even sure is there.
If our brain was enough for salvation, that’s all God would have given us. What does your heart say about God? While you sat in Adoration, did you try to silence your thoughts and listen for God in the whisper?
 
If our brain was enough for salvation, that’s all God would have given us. What does your heart say about God? While you sat in Adoration, did you try to silence your thoughts and listen for God in the whisper?
Sorry, I’m not much for sentimentalism: My heart doesn’t say anything – my heart pumps blood.

Yes, I tried silencing my thoughts and listening for God. No matter how many times I try this, the result is the same: My brain goes blank and I become drowsy. If I persist in this state, I start having those “beta-wave” unguided random thoughts that your brain kicks into when you’re falling asleep. If I persist in this state, I start to doze.

This was the consequence of when I tried “listening” before the Blessed Sacrament exposed back in Tennessee; here in Japan, where my only option is to sit before the Tabernacle, I always wake myself up before I get to that point, e.g. try asking God a new question and starting over my silence.

The priest has just asked me to leave the church grounds where the internet is, so goodnight … (Sunday 8pm JST)
 
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