Hello all!
Code:
To preface, I am a non-theist. I'm not opposed to God, I just can't bring myself to believe in Him. I was a Methodist until I was 19, then practiced Catholicism for a year before coming to the conclusion that I don't believe in a personal God. (I guess I am actually agnostic as I believe potentially in a divine power, but this doesn't play an active role in my life.) I will likely post about my deconversion in another thread. I'd love to hear y'alls thoughts on it. Anyways...
While I was a practicing convert, (hence my name) I was very involved. I attended daily mass, worked LIGHT, ACTS, and Awakening retreats, I live with a great group of Catholic men, and was active several other ways in the Church. I am so thankful for the experience because it allows me to understand the Catholic Church on a whole new level. I wanted to mention that so you guys will kind of understand where I am at, and how I was spiritually active.
Throughout my involvement I met a young woman who has become a good friend of mine. We each think the other to be a great match for ourselves in all areas except the one obvious thing: Faith. I don't believe in Christian dogma, but I found a lot of objective truth in it. I can see the beauty in abstaining sexually until marriage, the view of contraception, the Holy Mass, etc...I may not believe in the faith, but I could support hers. I understand the Faith.
With all this in mind, what are yall's thoughts on our relationship? Do you think I can be a good enough husband for her down the line as an atheist? As Catholics, do you believe I will always be incompetent, or can I become a not just good enough husband, but an optimal one.
Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut, looking forward to discussing with you guys!
Peace be with you,
Joseph
Well, the problem mainly comes if you were to ever marry. She would be going to church, and you would go on with your life. Would you ever pray together?
Then, if you have children, in order to marry in the Catholic Church, you would need to agree to raise any children Catholic.
In the best of times, you would probably sleep in, and she, and the kids, would go to mass.
What would happen if one of the kids sees you sleeping in, says, “Why can´t I sleep in and stay with Dad?”
Later on, would you be agreeable to Natural Family Planning, if it ever became an issue, abstaining from sexual activity on her fertile days?
An atheist-Catholic combination is hard, because Catholicism impacts on pretty much every aspect of daily life.
Would you be willing to allow her to have religious pictures and statues in the house?
Could you respect her if she talked about the Church and pope, priests and religious?
It would affect her, also, politically.
Often, differences don´t fully manifest during dating but moreso after marriage or children.
The Catholic parent would want the child baptized, want to insist on it, really.
It affects how we behave and relate…that we would not believe in certain sexual practices, even after married, contraception, even within marriage.
It’s often even hard for fellow Christians and Catholics to get along due to differences, and that is within believers. This is only amplified with an atheist.
Some Christians have referred to marrying an atheist as being “unevenly yoked”, in that one person is doing all the spiritual legwork while the other coasts.
I have a friend who was married, now divorced. He married a girl from Vietnam, and he was into the Church of the Nazarene, tithed, giving 10% of his income to the Church. His wife had a problem with that, saw that as a waste of money.
He was also on their board, and I imagine that probably wouldn´t have gone over well, either, as a waste of time, as well.
It would be hard to have an atheist-believer combination.
I was married to an agnostic. When we married, I was away from my faith. When I found it, it caused some problems in our relationship. Some friends actually thought if I wouldn´t have found my faith that we would still be together today, but I don´t think so. Still, it was very hard having my faith that was important and not being so much as ever be able to pray with my husband.
At Thanksgiving dinner, he’d actually up and leave the room when somebody ever tried to say grace! He would leave the room at political events when we said the Pledge of Allegiance and came to the words, “Under God”. He would refuse to say them.
As I say, it was quite hard. People have done it, so apparently, it´s not impossible, but it´s no easy thing.
