Blade, there’s no use being in a religion you don’t understand or feel. Sometimes God pushes people away so they can see the bigger picture, even if it means that bigger picture is so alien and unfamiliar to them that they get confused about why they were originally there in the first place. By reading your posts, you seem like (and these are just observations) you’re young and you’ve been exposed to things you didn’t understand and like all young people need to find out what really is going on, not what others have told you is going on. Like I would do if I were in your shoes, if you don’t understand something, stop pursuing it and either approach it from an another angle or try something else entirely.
God usually brings those people back, no matter how far they’ve gone, after a while discerning the Truth. That doesn’t mean you’ll become Catholic again (hopefully it does, but who am I to question God) there are certainly other individuals of other faiths that will reach Heaven, so pushing Catholicism in your case would just be counter productive, especially given your experiences with it in the past. Even the best intentions of people fall drastically short of the mark. And know that truth sometimes takes years or even a lifetime to find out.
Many people realize Truth only on their deathbead after a lifetime of denying it ever existed, not that I’m trying to discourage you or anything.

I’m just saying that don’t lose hope that you’ll find it. If you’re earnestly looking, it may just find you.