Attachment Parenting - How do you attach when you've waited so long to attach?

[coralewisjr]

mass4life:

Dr. Sears is a trustworthy source. I would advocate his advice.

A simple thing I do is imagine what our Blessed Mother would have done to parent the Lord Jesus. Can we imagine her leaving the Lord to cry his little eyes out in the hut simply because it wasn’t “time” to eat yet? Can we imagine her abandoning Him in a room by Himself to cry himself to sleep when she could have cradled Him in her blessed arms?

I just shared that with my husband because it’s such good advice. He responded with a joke: I’m sure that she did all that because she knew that she was watching God and if she didn’t, she’d be struck down by lightning!

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne

 

[spacecadet]

Hmm. I do think it’s okay to leave a crying baby alone sometimes, and I don’t think it makes my children any less happy, healthy, or “well-attached.” Does that make me an “ezzoite?” (Even if I don’t know what the word means…and I’m not really sure where “biblical” comes into it?)

first, Ezzo is a so called Christian parenting expert that says it is so necessary to put the baby on a routine that you should not pick it up from a nap or feed it even if it is crying if the routine says it isn’t time.

my experience, for the first 7 months i repsonded to every cry. at 7 months we hit the development of now having wants that were not always needs. so then i started to differentiate, but needs were always met. i feel very proud of this, especially since my child had a horrible sensitivity to dairy and cried HOURS AND HOURS for the first 4 months until i took dairy out of my diet altogether. if i hadn’t been so responsive i wouldn’t have figured out what was bothering him. my parents comment on how they really didn’t know it was possible for babies to be so happy like my child is and if they’d known better they would have done it different.

 

[spacecadet]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Giannawannabe
. Physical attachment is only part of “attachment” parenting—there’s also the spiritual and emotional parts that can be met even by us adoptive moms

You are so right Giannawannabe.

AMEN. Even adoptive parents can bond physically by skin to skin contact. i have a good friend that just adopted and she’s used attachment parenting to bond. she often held her baby on her bare skin to bond. not only has ithelped bonding but the baby is growing so fast you’d never guess it was over 2 months early.

 

[leaner]

spacecadet:

first, Ezzo is a so called Christian parenting expert that says it is so necessary to put the baby on a routine that you should not pick it up from a nap or feed it even if it is crying if the routine says it isn’t time.

(((shudder))) Ezzo (who is neither a doctor, nor child-expert by any stretch of even the most vivid imagination – studies have shown “Ezzo parenting” has the highest rate of underweight babies…now there’s a surprise…“NO, you can’t eat, it’s not time for eating yet” – duh. He also advocates slapping the hand of your 7mo old baby who plays with his/her food so he/she will learn that’s inappropriate (perhaps they could write an essay outlining their questions about the food instead of smearing it around to investigate?)

again…((((((((((((((((shudder)))))))))))))))))))

:bigyikes:

 

[AServantofGod]

spacecadet:

first, Ezzo is a so called Christian parenting expert that says it is so necessary to put the baby on a routine that you should not pick it up from a nap or feed it even if it is crying if the routine says it isn’t time.

my experience, for the first 7 months i repsonded to every cry. at 7 months we hit the development of now having wants that were not always needs. so then i started to differentiate, but needs were always met. i feel very proud of this, especially since my child had a horrible sensitivity to dairy and cried HOURS AND HOURS for the first 4 months until i took dairy out of my diet altogether. if i hadn’t been so responsive i wouldn’t have figured out what was bothering him. my parents comment on how they really didn’t know it was possible for babies to be so happy like my child is and if they’d known better they would have done it different.

We got stuck in the Ezzo trap recommended to us. I feel I lacked the ability to differentiate. How sad! Now I’m having to make up for it & feel out of touch.

Were your parents schedulers? Is that why they made the comment about wishing they had done it differently?

 

[spacecadet]

well we were only nursed until 3 months so we were sort of scheduled, but that isn’t what i was referring to. it is more about the attitude that babys just cry because that is what they do. they grew up with that old european mindset. when i watch old home movies it is kind of hard. things i remember my parents saying:

“babies cry because they are developing their (character or personality…i can’t remember the exact word but it was something like that)”

“it is ok to let your baby cry for 20 min or so”

“if you don’t get them used to the playpen early they’ll never want to stay in it”

etc…

really i think they are kind of in awe at what i’ve done and how much i’ve learned. i don’t blame them because they improved quite a bit from how their parents raised them, ya know…people try to do the best they can.

 

[AServantofGod]

spacecadet:

really i think they are kind of in awe at what i’ve done and how much i’ve learned. i don’t blame them because they improved quite a bit from how their parents raised them, ya know…people try to do the best they can.

You’re right about that. I always tell my daughters, “your grandmother did just a little bit better than her mother, I did just a little better than my mother, and you’ll do better than me.” I suppose that is the ideal, that we take those things that worked and continue them and take those things that didn’t and improve upon them.

God bless you & your family.

 

[netmilsmom]

AServantofGod:

You’re right about that. I always tell my daughters, “your grandmother did just a little bit better than her mother, I did just a little better than my mother, and you’ll do better than me.” I suppose that is the ideal, that we take those things that worked and continue them and take those things that didn’t and improve upon them.

God bless you & your family.

I always tell my hubby that parents teach us two things…
What we want to do with our children and what we DON’T!

None of us come with manuals.