Attending Church, Entering a Church, Kindness

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The issue really is: can man and women who are neighbors be friendly and worship together. Can a church official forbid neighbors from having normal communication together? Can a married man walk occasionally with a neighbor who is a family friend. Can a layman at a church control people’s interactions. There was no romantic things about this whatsoever.

I simply drive my own car there and want to sit with my neighbor.
 
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davleemye said:
can man and women who are neighbors be friendly and worship together.
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Absolutely.
davleemye said:
Can a church official forbid neighbors from having normal communication together?
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No, not usually, not if you are referring to a layman. Really not sure who the “church official” is supposed to be. Of course neighbors can and should talk and be friendly, as long as it’s proper with no flirting.
davleemye said:
Can a married man walk occasionally with a neighbor who is a family friend.
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Of course, again as long as proper boundaries are kept. But since this has been discouraged lately, can you walk with your wife or a different neighbor?
davleemye said:
Can a layman at a church control people’s interactions?
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Not in my experience. This is all very strange. Again, please speak to the priest and get it all sorted out.

Maybe you were talking inside the chapel. Maybe the group of women felt you were too clingy and you made them feel awkward or uncomfortable so they complained to the church official. Perhaps your lady neighbor felt uncomfortable spending so much time with you. Or maybe none of that is true.

You have to go and have a sitdown with the priest and the church official and talk it out and get some explanations. It does no good brooding on it without getting real answers.
 
davleemye said:
A fellowship group.
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This may be a clue - perhaps you are looking for fellowship and this was interpreted as being there for the wrong reason. Adoration is simply that - adoring our Lord. Have you asked your neighbor why she no longer speaks with you, or the “group” of ladies why they will not sit with you? It’s possible they are uncomfortable with you being a male. Again, speak with the Priest.
 
Since you mentioned Saint Josemaria Escriva, I’m wondering if this is an Opus Dei group? Their activities are always segregated by sex. Members of Opus Dei follow their own sets of rules regarding interactions with the opposite sex.

The Catholic church does not oppose friendships between members of the opposite sex and does not restrict contact between them, whether they are married or unmarried. This is a matter of prudence and personal judgement.
 
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Thank you. I had a stroke two years ago and it is hard typing correctly.
They are now upset because I reported this to a priest. They feel I committed Calumny and that we are obliged to be obedient to authority…

Here is the exact words email I was sent directly from the leader there:
IT IS GOD’S WILL, ACTIVE OR PASSIVE THAT HAS ENDED YOUR WALKS W/ xxxx. EVEN IF YOU WERE TO BLAME THE DEVIL, HE CAN DO NOTHING W/O GOD’S CONSENT.
THE LORD HAS GAVE, AND LORD HAS TAKEN AWAY; BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD.
MAYBE YOU BECAME TOO ATTACHED TO A CREATURE. WE MUST BE DETACHED FROM PEOPLE, PLACES, AND THINGS. “GOD ALONE SUFFICES”
.
They preach devotion to Jesus alone. My neighbor a woman was not supposed to mentor me. Please note there was no alone time together anywhere. Period. We are neighbors and scripture says plenty about that.

Can a married man walk occasionally with a neighbor who is a family friend?
My comment: I walk with other people. I had a stroke and walk every single day, usually alone. The mentoring was very important because I never experienced Catholic teaching. I have NEVER been Baptized and from this woman I learned to pray the Rosary and the Catholic life. In fact we often prayed the Rosary together with little conversation. I sincerely was interested in the faith. The chapel was used to dissolve the friendship in front of many people and I was left with no one at all to help me. You have NO IDEA how humiliating this was. Eventually I was totally separated from my friends group and sat totally alone. This was a fellowship group Not a personal alone time with Jesus.
Yes, there were boundaries out walking. Once/week, walk as group, etc. This was a friendship with it’s roots in God’s word. For 20 years no problem whatsoever. Till I went there DAY ONE.

Catachism: CCC2347 The virtue of chastity blossoms in friendship. It shows the disciple how to follow and imitate him who has chosen us as his friends, [Cf. Jn 15:15] who has given himself totally to us and allows us to participate in his divine estate. Chastity is a promise of immortality. [374]
Chastity is expressed notably in friendship with one’s neighbor. Whether it develops between persons of the same or opposite sex, friendship represents a great good for all. It leads to spiritual communion.

Can a layman at a church control people’s interactions? Yes he does and they let him do it
Using counsels of St. Josemarie Estriva from “The Way”
You have come to the apostate to submit, to annihilate yourself, not impose your own personal viewpoints.
Obedience, the sure way. Unrserved obedience to whoever is in charge, the way of sancity.
the spirit must be to obey or to leave. The way, #936 and #941
Google spiritual abuse sometime. You will be amazed. I have not read josemaria Escriva.

I reported this to the priest. Now shunning and a neighbor who won’t speak to me. I try to resolve this matter with her. Thank you so much for your reply. Very helpful.
I might try to talk to the Bishop?

.
 
Can man and women who are neighbors be friendly and worship together.
My comment: My hope, but she feels both obedience to a spiritual advisor (layman) and also is upset because I reported this to a priest. They feel I committed Calumny and we are obliged to be obedient to authority…

Can a church official forbid neighbors from having normal communication together?
It happened. Here is the email I was sent directly from the leader there:
IT IS GOD’S WILL, ACTIVE OR PASSIVE THAT HAS ENDED YOUR WALKS W/ xxxx. EVEN IF YOU WERE TO BLAME THE DEVIL, HE CAN DO NOTHING W/O GOD’S CONSENT.
THE LORD HAS GAVE, AND LORD HAS TAKEN AWAY; BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD.
MAYBE YOU BECAME TOO ATTACHED TO A CREATURE. WE MUST BE DETACHED FROM PEOPLE, PLACES, AND THINGS. “GOD ALONE SUFFICES”
.
They preach over there devotion to Jesus alone. My neighbor a woman was not supposed to mentor me. Please note there was no flirting and never alone anywhere.

Can a married man walk occasionally with a neighbor who is a family friend?
My comment: I walk with other people. I had a stroke and walk every single day, usually alone. The mentoring was very important because I never experienced Catholic teaching. I have NEVER been Baptized and from this woman I learned to pray the Rosary and the Catholic life. In fact we often prayed the Rosary together with little conversation. I sincerely was interested in the faith. The chapel was used to dissolve the friendship in front of many people and I was left with no one at all to help me. You have NO IDEA how humiliating this was. Eventually I was totally separated from my friends group and sat totally alone. This was a fellowship group Not a personal alone time with Jesus.
Yes, there were boundaries out walking. Once/week, no alone, walk as group, etc. This was a true friendship with it’s roots in God’s word.

Catachism: CCC2347 The virtue of chastity blossoms in friendship. It shows the disciple how to follow and imitate him who has chosen us as his friends, [Cf. Jn 15:15] who has given himself totally to us and allows us to participate in his divine estate. Chastity is a promise of immortality. [374]
Chastity is expressed notably in friendship with one’s neighbor. Whether it develops between persons of the same or opposite sex, friendship represents a great good for all. It leads to spiritual communion.

Can a layman at a church control people’s interactions?

Yes he does and they let him do it

Using counsels of St. Josemarie from “The Way”
You have come to the apostolate to submit, to annihilate yourself, not impose your own personal viewpoints.
Obedience, the sure way.]
Unrserved obedience to whoever is in charge, the way of sancity.
the spirit must be to obey or to leave.
The way, #936 and #941
Google spiritual abuse sometime. You will be amazed.

I reported this to the priest. Now shunning and a neighbor who won’t speak to me. I try to resolve this matter with her. Told they are “done” with me.
Thank you so much for your reply. Very helpful.
I might try to talk to the Bishop?

.
 
I was looking for fellowship and this is advertised as fellowship group. I also wanted to learn the Catholic faith and become Baptized. Very important… My neighbor repeatedly invited me there. She had no idea she wasn’t supposed to mentor me OR be friends as neighbors.

Yes, I asked. The seating nearby ended when I consulted a priest about my concern over the leader. This included even entering the building together. This is because the leader felt I was disobedient over disagreeing about mentoring and being neighbors.IT IS GOD’S WILL, ACTIVE OR PASSIVE THAT HAS ** ENDED YOUR WALKS**

The leaders rules: (being in his apostate)

Using counsels of St. Josemarie from “The Way” (I have not read this book) Dangerous teaching.

You have come to the apostolate to submit, to annihilate yourself, not impose your own personal viewpoints.

Obedience, the sure way.]

Unrserved obedience to whoever is in charge, the way of sancity.

the spirit must be to obey or to leave.

The way, #936 and #941

This was about power and control, but unsure. That’s why I posted to see if the Catholic church teaches these things.

Thanks.


Dlee
Code: 
    July 7
davleemye:
A fellowship group.
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This may be a clue - perhaps you are looking for fellowship and this was interpreted as being there for the wrong reason. Adoration is simply that - adoring our Lord. Have you asked your neighbor why she no longer speaks with you, or the “group” of ladies why they will not sit with you? It’s possible they are uncomfortable with you being a male. Again, speak with the Priest.
 
I have no idea, and never explained to me. I simply think he enjoys the authority he has over other people. The actual church the chapel is in does NOT teach these things. He is from a different local church using the facility. What ever happened to One true church as they preach?
 
From what you just wrote, it does sound like an Opus Dei group. There are a lot of controversies about that group. It is based off the teachings of Saint Josemaria Escriva. I am not very familiar with it but none of it sounds good to me.

I would shake it off and leave that parish entirely and go find a different Catholic parish. Opus Dei is not mainstream Catholicism. Don’t be discouraged. Find a new Church, listen to Catholic radio, which has the rosary online. Beautiful rosaries are also on YouTube. I hope you can find some new groups of friends who can show you a better example of Catholic fellowship.
 
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Yes… There is a sign place on the wall. It is used by this layman from a different church each Thursday, Friday, and Wednesday. One is for teens. Group activity. Guitars, Rosary out loud, Prayers, singing out loud together.
 
I would suggest just trying another parish. I would also suggest that you let go of this whole incident in your mind because you seem way more focused on trying to justify yourself somehow than on what Adoration is supposed to be about, which is private time with Jesus. It’s typically not “fellowship time” even though some people treat it as such, which to me is a bit inappropriate.
 
My issue is damage to neighbors who don’t speak to each other anymore. It is about shunning. It is about spiritual abuse and grave damage to my faith. It is worry about other people being hurt inadvertently. I am simply born again christian. No church, never Baptized. All mixed up.
I enjoyed the place, but I don’t understand God anymore. Sorry…
 
Very, very strange. I have seen a Spanish group say a group rosary and sing songs to Mary before, but there should not be “fellowship” before the exposed Blessed Sacrament. The whole thing is too weird and strange and I feel sorry for the OP getting caught up in it.

OP, find a new parish and ask for help in how to become Catholic or at least some help in finding some friends who can mentor you. God bless, and I pray you find healing from your stroke.
 
Presumably it is one of those chapels where the monstrance is covered until an adorer arrives who removes the cover. Removing the cover is not the type of thing a non-Catholic or someone new to the faith would do. I am a little nervous doing it myself and I’ve been Catholic since birth for decades.
 
Before we arrive it is usually covered. I am always early so I would uncover it. However most often I would wait for my friends group to arrive and enter together. I did not want to touch anything and am not catholic. My neighbor runs the adoration schedule. They are trying to get more people to attend 24/7.
I went a few time by myself to pray alone. I know this is very sacred issue.
 
The chapel I have seen that works this way is part of a rectory so there is always someone nearby from a protective standpoint, but not necessarily in the room. Also they are very quiet about their chapel. When someone needs to leave and the next person did not show up, they cover Our Lord.
 
I’m afraid you just need to let God take care of all those things. He can handle the justice end of it all. You don’t need to try and wage a war here. Let go of wanting to be right and your reputation to be repaired and focus on learning about the Church somewhere that has good teaching. Give up this situation to God and let Him handle it.
 
Don’t want to get my neighbor in trouble. They try very hard to have at least 1 person there all day. My concern has become a issue with many topics. I would love to do an hour. I personally think my neighbor gives 100% to that church. I can only imagine the hurt she feels that she presented me there and it all went terribly wrong. I am a caregiver 24/7, recovering from stroke, and I simply wanted to make my friend happy by attending. She made a mistake bringing me there because mentoring me was forbidden by God himself ; so they say.
 
Agree…you should NEVER ever ever touch the Monstrance.
davleemye said:
simply wanted to make my friend happy by attending. She made a mistake bringing me there because mentoring me was forbidden by God himself ; so they say.
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God does not forbid this–this group does.

So go find a nice group of regular Catholics and make new friends who don’t have such a cultish mentality.
 
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