Attending EF form with no head covering

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I guess I’m puzzled. If a woman chooses to attend the TLM I would assume it is because of some degree of respect for that traditional rite as well as some level of discomfort with the Ordinary Form of the Mass. Why then would that same woman choose to rebel against the customary head covering, expected but sadly not required when attending the TLM? I don’t get it; is there something demeaning about traditional dress which includes head covering and a proper and modest dress and for the men; no jeans, no printed T-shirts and uncovering the head when in church?
 
Canon law is Canon Law for both those who attend the EF and the OF. There is only one Canon Law in effect and there is nothing stating a woman must cover their head in the Catholic Church. We are not under the code of 1917, we are under the code of 1983.

Covering one’s head may be customary at some EF Masses, but it is not mandatory, and one cannot be refused Communion for not doing so. If it happens, it should be reported to the Bishop.

Whether you cover your head or not should be your choice alone, and you should not be coerced (or bullied) into doing something you don’t want to do, whether it is not wearing a head cover, or wearing one. Have enough confidence in yourself to know that whatever you decide, it is the right decision for YOU, not others.
 
Angel_Gabriel said:
My husband is actually the one who would like to go back to the local EF community. I like it but honestly prefer Divine Liturgy or the OF done extremely traditionally. however I do like the missa cantata EF.

However I don’t have a head covering…the scarves I have make me look like a Muslim which isn’t the look I’m wanting.

does anyone here frequent the EF without a head covering? The last time I was there about a quarter of the female attendees there didn’t cover.
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There is a CAF social group called Veiled in Grace. As the name suggests the members are women who cover for a wide variety of reasons, and they can offer you a cornucopia of advice, suggestions, and non-judgmental information about head covering as well as head covering resources. I suggest you address your covering questions there, Angel Gabriel. 🙂

Luna
 
CB_Catholic said:
Canon law is Canon Law for both those who attend the EF and the OF. There is only one Canon Law in effect and there is nothing stating a woman must cover their head in the Catholic Church. We are not under the code of 1917, we are under the code of 1983.

Covering one’s head may be customary at some EF Masses, but it is not mandatory, and one cannot be refused Communion for not doing so. If it happens, it should be reported to the Bishop.

Whether you cover your head or not should be your choice alone, and you should not be coerced (or bullied) into doing something you don’t want to do, whether it is not wearing a head cover, or wearing one. Have enough confidence in yourself to know that whatever you decide, it is the right decision for YOU, not others.
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Well said and on point with regard to what the OP asked.
 
DaddyGirl said:
I suspect it’s not about going for a “look” that is the important thing.

How does a simple scarf make a person look like a Muslim?
What “look” are you wanting?
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I have no idea why some people would say that then again many Muslim women wear a variety of head scarve types or veils.
 
This is an interesting thread, as I’ve been wanting to attend either a Tridentine Mass and/or a Byzantine Divine Liturgy, but am unsure about the head covering. I get the impression that a hat would be appropriate (but not a baseball cap ;)). Could I wear a hand-knitted hat, or would that be too casual? I like someone’s suggestion of wearing a scarf that can be wrapped over the head.
 
Angel_Gabriel said:
My husband is actually the one who would like to go back to the local EF community. I like it but honestly prefer Divine Liturgy or the OF done extremely traditionally. however I do like the missa cantata EF.

However I don’t have a head covering…the scarves I have make me look like a Muslim which isn’t the look I’m wanting.

does anyone here frequent the EF without a head covering? The last time I was there about a quarter of the female attendees there didn’t cover.
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There is nothing wrong with the scarves, in fact IMO they look better (I am a guy). I know it’s not your prefference but I hope it’s because it’s just the look and not because “it makes you look Mislim.”
 
Bob_Aliano said:
I guess I’m puzzled. If a woman chooses to attend the TLM I would assume it is because of some degree of respect for that traditional rite as well as some level of discomfort with the Ordinary Form of the Mass. Why then would that same woman choose to rebel against the customary head covering, expected but sadly not required when attending the TLM? I don’t get it; is there something demeaning about traditional dress which includes head covering and a proper and modest dress and for the men; no jeans, no printed T-shirts and uncovering the head when in church?
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🤷 All she did was inquire (and others responded) that while it was customary, it wasn’t required. Nothing rebellious about that.
 
anodos said:
This is an interesting thread, as I’ve been wanting to attend either a Tridentine Mass and/or a Byzantine Divine Liturgy, but am unsure about the head covering. I get the impression that a hat would be appropriate (but not a baseball cap ;)). Could I wear a hand-knitted hat, or would that be too casual? I like someone’s suggestion of wearing a scarf that can be wrapped over the head.
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You certainly could wear a hand-knitted hat (quite appropriate in the winter!)

Again, there is no requirement here. Wear whatever hat/scarf/headcovering you wish … or none.
 
thank you all for your comments :). We’re back and I am happy to say that I did in fact wear a head covering today. It was a silk scarf that I forgot I had. It wasn’t as heavy as the longer cotton ones that I sometimes wear with dresses.

As for looking like a Muslim, well the cotton scarves I have DO make me look like one…they are of a heavier material and longer so you had to wrap them around and then they would kind of weigh down your hair. The silk one was lighter and didn’t do that.

At any rate I like the EF b/c of the reverence and tradition. However I’m Eastern at heart and will always prefer Divine Liturgy. To me it’s more similar to the Ordinary Form …and I feel more apart of things. I don’t dislike the Ordinary Form…I like it a great deal especially weekday mass (there’s beauty in simplicity)…however I don’t like seeing teenagers coming to church looking like they rolled out of bed, the overuse of EMHC, hand-holding, and lack of reverence…actually there are lots of other things that I don’t like that happens all the time in this diocese. I should add here that I don’t go to Mass LOOKING to find these things yet they are there…and they are super distracting to me and make is SO incredibly hard to focus on the Mass…the EF makes it a lot easier to focus 🙂
 
Bob_Aliano said:
I guess I’m puzzled. If a woman chooses to attend the TLM I would assume it is because of some degree of respect for that traditional rite as well as some level of discomfort with the Ordinary Form of the Mass. Why then would that same woman choose to rebel against the customary head covering, expected but sadly not required when attending the TLM? I don’t get it; is there something demeaning about traditional dress which includes head covering and a proper and modest dress and for the men; no jeans, no printed T-shirts and uncovering the head when in church?
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LightBound said:
I don’t know wear you live, but it is winter outside and if you have a scarf with you, just wear it as you normally would (as in around your neck) and when you get to Mass, it all the other women have headcoverings, slip your scarf up on your head. If not every female is covered, you can go without and not feel like you are sticking out. Then you can determine if God is calling you to cover at Mass or not.
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I own three mantillas. I quit covering after a woman noticed I was wearing a black mantilla and asked me if I was a virgin. Apparently black is for non-virgins, and if I’m a virgin, I should be wearing white.

I have no real desire to cover my head for Mass. I don’t really care if I “stick out”. I’m Catholic, so I’m used to sticking out.

PS: If you’re covering because you “don’t want to stick out”, that defeats the whole purpose of covering one’s head for Mass. Furthermore, it falls under the sin of human respect.
 
Wait a minute–it’s late January, you live in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and you don’t own some kind of winter hat. even like a watch cap or a toque? Those will do! Believe me, I live near Buffalo, NY, and EF or no, there’s no way that toque is coming off in favor of a scrap of lace! I’d get pneumonia!
 
Deo_Gratias42 said:
I own three mantillas. I quit covering after a woman noticed I was wearing a black mantilla and asked me if I was a virgin. Apparently black is for non-virgins, and if I’m a virgin, I should be wearing white.

I have no real desire to cover my head for Mass. I don’t really care if I “stick out”. I’m Catholic, so I’m used to sticking out.

PS: If you’re covering because you “don’t want to stick out”, that defeats the whole purpose of covering one’s head for Mass. Furthermore, it falls under the sin of human respect.
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Wow, I can’t believe someone asked you that. The gall of some people has no end…I can have a smart mouth sometimes, especially if someone asks me a very inappropriate question…I would have had a hard time not saying something like “Nope, wanna hear the details?”
 
Re: colors of mantillas: Nowadays, anyone can wear any color they want. White used to be reserved for the very young, and black for the married, the widowed, and those of “a certain age.”

Being married and “of a certain age,” I had bought a black mantilla and wore it, until I realized that because of my long dark brown hair, it didn’t look as if I had any kind of head covering on at all from five paces. I felt silly in a white mantilla, a little too “first communiony” for me. I found some beige colored lace, which works well with my camel hair winter coat, and wear that, when I wear a mantilla at all. I have a couple of felt cloches and prefer to wear them in the winter, and a couple of straw fedoras, which I wear in the summer. I’ve never mastered the art of wearing a mantilla so it’s not hanging in my face somehow and being more distracting than an object of praise to God. On one of my quit smoking attempts I was nearly chewing on the dangly parts of it during Mass:eek:
 
wow…the past few posts…just…wow!

In my experience, I think people would be more apt to inquire as to why I cross myself "in the wrong direction " than as to what color my head covering is…I am very Eastern in my approach of everything. But honestly, inquiring after one’s virginal state is out of line!
 
DaddyGirl said:
I guess it’s all a matter of experience and perspective.

When you describe a long, cotton scarf wrapped around your hair and neck…I picture a glamorous and flaxen-haired Grace Kelly speeding through the sunny South of France in an Audi convertible with Cary Grant at her side.

Not an adherent to the Islam religion.
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fair enough 🙂 in my area we have a lot of recent immigrants from foreign countries. honestly I don’t remember anything like this when I was younger so this is new thing to me. And all the Muslim women I have seen wear heavy head coverings.

Grace Kelly was a beautiful woman and it’s a shame more women don’t emulate her style!
 
The mantilla I bought in Fatima is a peaceful rich turquoise or teal blue.
I also have a dark indigo and black multi mantilla inherited from my grandma.
Scarves are good, silk or otherwise, as are normal, warm winter hats …
plenty of variety to go around.
 
Bob_Aliano said:
Why then would that same woman choose to rebel against the customary head covering…
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It’s not “rebellion” and it isn’t “customary.”

The OP needs to decide what she wants and do that. I would be mortified to wear a mantilla, because to me it’s just a way to call attention to myself. There are few simple head coverings available for warm weather. A simple knit hat is nice in cooler times. Going without is also fine. Many do.

Sanctity is not measured by what’s on your head but in your heart.
 
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