Attending Get-Together for Homosexual Couple

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SeriousQuestion said:
I don’t think those lovey-dovey actions work any better.
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They at least keep people talking to each other instead of walls going up between them. And I don’t think that people should be inauthentic in pretending to like things they don’t or that make them feel uncomfortable or that violate their beliefs. But some care needs to be taken in how these things are dealt with and in how they are expressed.
 
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That is very possible.
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth. I have come to bring not peace but the sword. For I have come to set a man ‘against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and one’s enemies will be those of his household.’
“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matt. 10:34-39

There is obviously not an exemption in the red letters for putting a lid on the truth so that your family won’t shun you. If they require you to do whatever they tell you or they’ll shun you and then they ask you to do something against your conscience, you have to live with being shunned. It is both required to accept homosexuals as persons and yet to deny any approval of placing homosexual unions on the same level as marriage:

“The Church teaches that respect for homosexual persons cannot lead in any way to approval of homosexual behaviour or to legal recognition of homosexual unions. The common good requires that laws recognize, promote and protect marriage as the basis of the family, the primary unit of society. Legal recognition of homosexual unions or placing them on the same level as marriage would mean not only the approval of deviant behaviour, with the consequence of making it a model in present-day society, but would also obscure basic values which belong to the common inheritance of humanity. The Church cannot fail to defend these values, for the good of men and women and for the good of society itself.”
http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/c...cfaith_doc_20030731_homosexual-unions_en.html
Thorolfr said:
They at least keep people talking to each other instead of walls going up between them. And I don’t think that people should be inauthentic in pretending to like things they don’t or that make them feel uncomfortable or that violate their beliefs. But some care needs to be taken in how these things are dealt with and in how they are expressed.
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This is very true–that is, we have to be open to talking to others as persons. One may refrain from speaking out on some occasions, but one must not under any circumstances approve of treating homosexual unions as if they were true marriages. Withholding approval may get us shunned, but this is hardly the only occasion where refusing to approve bad behavior will get us shunned by those who demand approval of these things.
 
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Thorolfr said:
And I don’t think that people should be inauthentic in pretending to like things they don’t or that make them feel uncomfortable or that violate their beliefs. But some care needs to be taken in how these things are dealt with and in how they are expressed
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Agreed. I can see where your partner’s father is coming from, BUT I would handle it just a bit differently. I wouldn’t have attended the wedding/reception. But I wouldn’t totally ignore the person’s existence either. The Church teaches us to love the sinner, hate the sin, so you’d get a birthday card from me 🙂 , you’d be invited to family occasions, including holidays. Correcting those we love who we believe are committing sins HAS to be done with LOVE otherwise, we are just pushing them away from not only ourselves, but likely also from God.
 
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I don’t know. Sometimes in these situations, I think the simple truth will suffice.

If you really are uncomfortable, tell them that you aren’t really comfortable with homosexuality, and while you don’t wish to offend anyone, you’d rather not attend an event which celebrates that kind of relationship.

That being said, it seems to me that Jesus would have been likely to go. At no point did He ever say, “I can’t be associated with these sinners.” I don’t see how your attendance can possibly un-Catholic, unless you are actively endorsing their behavior by banging on tables and demanding they kiss one more time for the camera or something.
 
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I don’t think the “Jesus ate with sinners” is an appropriate metaphor for this kind of situation, although people love to throw it out. It is one thing to eat with people at a regular meal–eat with sinners, of course, because we are all sinners. It is quite another thing to attend a meal purposely designed to celebrate sin. I sincerely doubt Jesus would have done that.
 
I think that’s wise.
I would not go to the reception but explain to them I would love to have them over at my house to catch up.
I would not sign the congratulation card but I would send out an invitation card to visit my house instead.
 
I think people get too hung up on stuff. Life is dirty, and we are surrounded, literally immersed in sin-- our own, our parents’, and everyone else’s.

In the big scheme of things, it will be fine if the OP goes. Maybe he can express his faith in a way that will plant a seed for someone else at the event. In general, it seems to me that a Catholic person should want to attend public gatherings, to act as a torch-bearer for the faith, to set a positive moral example of love, acceptance and generosity.
 
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So let’s say that a woman decides to throw a party to celebrate her abortion. Would you attend? Or how about a friend who is calling a party for people to witness his suicide. Would you attend?
And yes these kind of events are occurring.
 
Having a party is itself not sinful.

If the gay men will be committing sodomy at the party, then I would avoid it. If a person will be committing suicide at the party, I would avoid it. In the woman’s case, she is not celebrating love for someone, and is clearly psychotic, as nobody ever has an abortion party (that I know of).

I don’t think two people, however misguided, having a party to celebrate their love for each other is the same category of sin. Love can never be a sin, I believe-- though certainly Catholics and maybe God might not approve of some modes of its expression.
 
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You are seriously misguided about what agape love truly is when you state “love can never be a sin.”
 
And you are too worried about what other people think or do. Are you a Deputy of the Lord?

My position is this: if you have an important message, and Catholics do, you should go out into the world and spread your message, through the example of love, tolerance and understanding.

If everyone refused to associate with those who sin, then we’d be a lonely bunch of people to be sure. But in addition to original sin and whatever issues you’ve had in your life, why go to such lengths to add pride and hypocrisy to the mix?

In the case of a gay couple, people are not celebrating their sexuality. They’re celebrating their happiness in finding someone they can care about, and in their commitment to spending their lives together. To compare that to abortion or to suicide is kind of silly.
 
There’s no pride or hypocrisy. That’s an assumption. Also celebrating sin is the main point not, not associating with them.
 
Even if they are celebrating sin, you being there does not mean you are celebrating sin. Maybe you’re just there because you think it’s a good place to ensure that the Catholic faith is represented. Maybe discussions will take place-- maybe you’ll make a friend who agrees with you.
 
Not going doesn’t necessarily involve pride or hypocrisy. There is more than one way to show love, even if one doesn’t go.
 
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Eddie18 said:
If that same neighbor were a gay man, I would have to assess the situation first. If the man is overly effeminate, with an over exaggerated lisp, really flaunting his lifestyle, then there is no way I’m inviting him over for a picnic for fear of scandal. However, if the man is clean-cut and doesn’t flaunt his lifestyle, and doesn’t speak of it, then the risk of scandal is low and I may decide to have him over

Each case must be weighed. Looking at the quotes are ready posted on scandal, this is not a situation to be taken lightly.
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This can’t possibly be a serious post . . .
 
I think you and Eddie might need to become better educated on what constitutes scandal. It seems most likely to be a troll post, anyway; I shouldn’t have called additional attention to it.
 
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