Attending Mass At Different Parishes

[TomH1]

Like possibly getting home so they can relive their spouse who is taking care of a sick child so said spouse can now go to Mass also? Or any of a number of other things that normal faithful people must do to fulfill all of their responsibilities?

Children are not sick every week. Plus having to care for a sick child would relieve one of the obligation that week. As I said it is about prioritising. We can fit things in and make time for them when we want.

 

[TomH1]

Perhaps some of us sit in the front of the church. And, therefore, are some of the first to receive. We then return to our seat, kneel and pray, spending more than just a couple of minutes thanking God for the gift we have just received.

And do you rush out of church before the priest and ministers have reached the sacristy door?

 

[Tis_Bearself]

These threads always just highlight the fact that no matter what one does, some people are going to not like it and some people are going to be judgmental about it. I guess that is the nature of this forum.

In the end, it doesn’t matter. God knows your heart and he knows why people are leaving Mass when they leave. I’m okay with leaving it in his hands and not making a big to-do because someone left before the recessional hymn was finished. As someone else said, the Mass is ended when the priest says, “The Mass is ended”. Not at the end of the hymn.

I personally have better things to be concerned about than why my neighbor left Mass before end of the hymn, or even earlier.

 

[whatistrue]

Children are not sick every week.

1. There most certainly are some children who are sick for months, or years, or their entire lives, that don’t need hospitalization but just someone present and available all the time.
2. How do you know someone is leaving after Mass is over but before you want them to? Keeping records? A little bit of charitable thinking, or better yet a substantial dose of MYOB, goes a long way.
3. I mentioned that this example was just one of many possibilities; how about a father who can only find one job that is sufficient to support the family, but that has inflexible scheduling such that he cannot have a different schedule or be late or he risks losing the job and not being able to support his family? Bottom line is that you just don’t know why someone leaves when they do and it really isn’t your job to police them.

having to care for a sick child would relieve one of the obligation

True, but I am talking about a couple who goes above and beyond the bare minimum requirements.

We can fit things in and make time for them when we want

Not every single time and in all circumstances.

 

[JoeShlabotnik]

Judge not your brothers and sisters. Pray for them. And pray for the Church.

 

[MiserereMeiDei]

Unless necessary, 15 minutes minimum to pray and thank God.

 

[MiserereMeiDei]

Even the latin low mass was a concession to a concession (missa contata). In theory all masses should be solemn high masses. Though this is obviously impractical if one wishes to make daily mass attendance the normative practice.

 

[maryjk]

And do you rush out of church before the priest and ministers have reached the sacristy door?

Well, I probably am gone before out priest goes to the sacristy. But he doesn’t go directly there. He stands in the hallway greeting people. He waits until most, if not everyone has exited the Church before he goes to change.

But I never have given any indication of when I leave. I’ve just said that mass is over when the priest says, mass is over.

Unless necessary, 15 minutes minimum to pray and thank God.

That is not something you would see from any of our parishioners. And there are several that I know that attend an Extraordinary Form whenever possible.

Twenty minutes after the mass that I attend, the lights are out and the doors are locked. Obviously the priest wouldn’t lock someone in, but he would come to ask if there was something wrong.

Of course this is a personal choice, staying for 15 minutes. Doo you really expect everyone to stay that long?

 

[MiserereMeiDei]

Are my expectations relevant?

St. John of Avila, St. Ignatius Loyola, and St. Aloysius Gonzaga used to make their thanksgiving on their knees for two hours. St. Mary Magdalene di Pazzi wanted it to continue without interruption. It was necessary to constrain her so that she might take a little nourishment. “The minutes that follow Communion,” the Saint said, “are the most precious we have in our lives. They are the minutes best suited on our part for treating with God, and on His part for communicating His love to us.”

St. Teresa of Jesus told her daughters, “Let us detain ourselves lovingly with Jesus and not waste the hour that follows Communion. It is an excellent time to deal with God and put before Him the matters that concern our soul. … As we know that good Jesus remains within us until our natural warmth has dissolved the breadlike qualities, we should take great care not to lose such a beautiful opportunity to treat with Him and lay our needs before Him.”

With Communion, Jesus enters my heart and remains corporally present in me as long as the species (the appearance) of bread lasts; that is, for about 15 minutes. During this time, the Holy Fathers teach that the angels surround me to continue to adore Jesus and love Him without interruption. “When Jesus is corporally present within us, the angels surround us as a guard of love,” wrote St. Bernard

More on this to be found here, here and here.

I am not judging anyone. I too leave directly after mass, thoughtless of the miracle that has just taken place far too often. But I would that all of us were in less of a rush and took the time to be more aware and thankful to the one who died for us and feeds us with his own body, blood, soul and divinity.

My goal is to become a saint. I assume that is every other Catholic’s goal as well. This is time well spent in arriving at that goal.

 

[maryjk]

Are my expectations relevant?

Yes.
Not every person is called to be like every saint. If you are called to pray for 15 minutes, or even an hour that is fine.
But not everyone is. But you know that.
For example, if I stayed on my knees for an hour, I would need someone to help me up and transportation to my car.

(Typed this before you made your edits)

 

[blackforest]

It’s not a requirement to stay to the end of the hymn. But it is my own personal preference.

An Anglican bishop, (from my old Anglican days), once made a great analogy. When somebody invites you over to their home for dinner, do you wolf it down, belch, and then fly out the door? Hopefully not! You stay for dessert or another glass of wine, and then you linger, converse and delight in the company. Mass has a similar etiquette after partaking of the Eucharist.

Again, however, I don’t believe that parishioners who feel otherwise are in violation of Church teaching. But I do happen to share your preference.

One more thought: Spend some time focusing on the more vibrant and active parishes you’ve visited. It’s good to keep a positive attitude.

 

[MiserereMeiDei]

Are my expectations relevant?

Why? Who am I that I should matter?

Not every person is called to be like every saint.

True. But we are all called to give thanks to God. This practice is recommended by saints to everyone, not merely practiced by them.

And we’re are all called to be saints.

For example, if I stayed on my knees for an hour, I would need someone to help me up and transportation to my car.

As would I. I kneel until I need to sit and I’m a much bigger panzy than Elizabeth of York, who would kneel for every Ave during her rosaries in her old age. I undoubtedly sit much sooner than I really need to. Anyway, 15 minutes isn’t an hour and if you need to sit, sit. The time spent with our Lord matters much more than our posture. And please don’t assume I’m judging you because you don’t do something I happen to say. I’m really not. And besides, who am I anyway?

 

[C.Ray]

In theory all masses should be solemn high masses.

I have had it in my head that there could only be one high mass a day. The local FSSP parish has three lows and one high. The high mass is packed to the gills, with people falling out of the pews and spilling out into the lobby (converted Lutheran church. I’d call it a vestibule but in reality, it’s a lobby).

Maybe its a matter of practicality to have only one. The choir would have to be there all day long if they were to have three high masses.

 

[MiserereMeiDei]

Sounds like St. Stephen the Martyr. I go there for 1st Saturdays every month, but it’s quite a drive so I was glad when I found a Latin mass a little closer.

I don’t know if there’s a limit on that or not, but three high masses would be…intense. But the high mass we’re talking about was a concession as well. Initially it was a solemn high mass (pontifical mass). It takes about three hours. There’s a video of one done by Archbishop Salvatore (SF) at the National Shrine in DC from November.

 

[C.Ray]

Sounds like St. Stephen the Martyr.

BINGO! That’s the one.

I can’t say I’ve ever been to a solemn high pontifical mass. Sounds hard on the knees.

 

[MiserereMeiDei]

I love that church.

My son and I used to go twice a month minimum. We’re planning on getting back to that. I prefer them for confession as the priest who does the mass locally is pressed for time because of age and travel. So if you’re there saturday I’ll be in the penalty box after or during first mass.

I sat on my couch watching the one in DC. Very easy on the knees.

 

[C.Ray]

My son and I used to go twice a month minimum.

Yeah I took mine there until he turned 18 months. But we ended up spending the whole time in the courtyard on account of toddler behavior, so we haven’t been back in a while. We’re about an hour and change away so if we’re going to go there, it would be better to spend the time inside rather than out.

Seems like with all their growth they could consider opening a new parish rather than expanding the one they’re in.

 

[MiserereMeiDei]

Mine’s about 18 years older than yours. He’s discerning to be a Carmelite monk. Much easier to keep in line.

We’re about the same amount of time away too. That’s why I so grateful to find a Latin mass in my diocese. Oddly, I found a traveling one that the bishop asked my priest to do to spread the Latin mass throughout the diocese before I found the only parish in the area that had a daily. I’m grateful for that as I’m now serving at the Sunday mass 5 minutes from my house rather than driving thirty to assist. The bonus is the priest who says the mass is a great old guy, has a PhD. in theology and is just plain fun, likes to hang out and go to lunch after mass, watch old movies and talk theology.

I’ve only been to one or two Sunday masses there but I remember it being crazy packed with people in the foyer and outside at the fountain. I was glad I keep construction hours so we could arrive early. It was a beautiful high mass, I must say. I also really liked that they had an adult catechesis course when Fr. DiRocco was there. We don’t have much in the way of that kind of thing here, though the priest I mentioned above keeps trying to set up a class.

 

[Kindnessmatters]

It may make you feel better to know a recessional is meant to play while people are leaving the church. Ideally it ends just as the last parishioners are departing. I was taught though to never leave before the priest, deacon and altar servers have Departed the church.

I do think it’s nice to stay for the first verse however.

Generally though, I have been to many churches too and have had a few eye opening moments as well.

 

[dochawk]

An Anglican bishop, (from my old Anglican days), once made a great analogy. When somebody invites you over to their home for dinner, do you wolf it down, belch, and then fly out the door?

I would compare what I’ve seen instead to going to someone’s house, and when everyone started to leave for the evening, one of the other guests insisting that everyone stay until she performed a song . . .

It may make you feel better to know a recessional is meant to play while people are leaving the church.

That’s always been my understanding: that the recessional hymn is for, well, recessing . . .

In the east, as part of each liturgy we still sing the antiphons that used to be sung as the Christians processed through the streets on the way to the church where the liturgy would be held . . .